It's All About Family... "Coco"

Coco (2017)

Rated PG

Starring Anthony Gonzalez, Gael Garcia Bernal, Benjamin Bratt, Alanna Ubach

Directed by Lee Unkrich & Adrian Molina

The Story:

Miguel (Gonzalez) was born with music in his heart, but unfortunately it is a passion not shared, in fact it's forbidden, by his family, and has been for generations. When he finds himself spirited away to the Land of the Dead during the Day of the Dead festival. Hoping to meet his idol, Ernesto de la Cruz (Bratt). If he can return to the land of the living with an ancestral blessing, perhaps he can finally play his music?

Okay, before we get to yet another gushing of adulation for this film, let's all pause for a moment and reflect on 20th Century Fox's The Book of Life which hit theaters in 2014 and took us to the Land of the Dead already.

It's a great, visually stunning movie that was overlooked, likely because it doesn't have the same Disney/Pixar connection with audiences.

It had a great voice cast, gorgeous animation and a love story at the heart of their adventure.

You can argue which of these is better, and you're not wrong. Same yet different, both worthy of your time and attention.

Coco offers much the same, but their story goes down the family avenue instead.

The secondary, and perhaps more important story in the film is that of Hector (Bernal) who is trying desperately to cross back over one more time so that he will not be forgotten. He's hoping to use Miguel to get back and ensure his picture could be placed on the family mantle so that he will be remembered by future generations.

In other words:

bring tissues

This is Pixar firing on all cylinders again, and it's good to have them back at their A-game.

And for that, I reward them.

Final Grade:  A

A Tale As Old As Time..."Beauty & The Beast"

Beauty & The Beast (2017)

Rated PG

Starring Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Josh Gad, Kevin Kline, Hattie Morahan, Ewan McGregor, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson

Directed by Bill Condon

The Story:

A prince (Stevens) who rejects the needs of an old beggar (Morahan) is cursed to life as a beast unless he can find love, and have someone fall in love with him despite his looks. With the chance of the spell being broken in time to stop the transformation from being complete, chance sends Belle (Watson) to the castle in search of her father (Kline) and then the race is on to see if these two will fall in love and break the spell.

Egads.

Where do I begin?

I consider the 1991 animated version to be one of Disney's very best movies they've ever made.

So I've tried to approach each of the Disney live action remakes with an open mind that they're taking a good movie, trying something new-ish with it, to varying results.

Maleficent - loved it. It was actually a different take on the Sleeping Beauty story and was quite enjoyable. Later efforts, like Cinderella offered no new take on the classic, and were downright boring. Even The Jungle Book, it started off okay, but when it began singing, I totally lost interest in the film and would never bother with it again.

Which leads us to Beauty & the Beast.

It's probably unfair of me to judge this film based on the animated classic, but it's hard not to when it follows nearly every beat of the story identically.

I have no idea how close/far it follows the Broadway musical, as I've never seen it.

And for much the same reason that I was worried about seeing the film version.

Can they do the story justice?

In a word: No.

Now if you've never, ever, ever never seen the animated movie, then you'll likely enjoy this film.

I'm happy for you.

The story itself is a great one.

And the songs, especially those that were in the original, are beautiful and very catchy.

Yet when transposed to this movie...

For me, it just didn't work.

Belle's opening number has some pauses in the song that just kill the flow of the song.

Nearly all of the songs are like that, close, but not quite catching the spirit and oomph that the original had.

The cast..

Luke Evans actually pulled off Gaston very well, and of the entire cast, I think he did the best job of making the character his own.

I suppose I might as well get the sexist label out right away:

Belle, whose name means beauty (says so, right in the song) is played by Emma Watson.

Yeah... so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that this casting was about as smart as casting Kristen Stewart as Snow White against Charlize Theron as the evil queen. Who's the fairest in the land?

Exactly.

But whatever, she's the star, but as I watch the movie I become painfully aware that her acting and emotions are rather stilted and wooden.

In one scene, where the Beast finally lets her go, what should be a face of relief, or happiness, or just about anything is conveyed with a look of anger. Or constipation. I'll let you decide.

Stevens does fine under the makeup (which is tremendous) as the Beast.

In fact, the whole movie is gorgeous, I will always give credit where it's due, and it's a beautiful movie to watch.

But again, I can't help but compare it to what came before, and this one comes up lacking.

Big time.

I liken it to having a delicious dinner, possibly the best you ever had.

Then going to another restaurant, or maybe a friend's house, or even trying it yourself.

All the ingredients are pretty much the same, or as close as you can muster.

And it's okay at the end, but it never does quite taste as good as the meal you're trying to recreate.

In the end, the more I watched this film, the more I wanted to turn it off and watch the animated version.

That leads me to a Final Grade: C no... C-....D+

A Disney Princess By Any Other Name... "Moana"

Moana (2016)

Rated PG

Starring Auli'i Cravahlo, Dwayne Johnson, Rachel House, Temuera Morrison, Jermaine Clement,

Directed by Ron Clements, Don Hall, John Musker, Chris Williams

The Story:

Moana (Cravahlo) is the daughter of the Chief (Morrison) but dreams of a life beyond their island's reef. With fish becoming scarce, she wants to lead their people to new and exciting places, but is landlocked by her father and their tribe's ideals. When she discovers an ancient artifact, she sets out to find the demigod Maui (Johnson) and restore life to the dying sea.

It's the Disney Princess for the 21st century. She doesn't need a man to help save her...

No, wait.

Even the movie acknowledges Moana as the latest in a long line of Princesses:

"Okay, first, I am not a princess. I'm the daughter of the chief."

"Same difference."

"No."

"If you wear a dress, and have an animal sidekick, you're a princess."

Yep, she's a Princess all right!

I guess what they are really going for is that she doesn't need a love interest, and that's fine.

There's no room in this coming of age story for a romance, anyway.

The movie itself is fairly fun, if predictable.

The problem with Disney, and the Disney Princess genre if you will, is they have often set themselves bars that are difficult for subsequent movies to hurdle.

Place this one side by side with Tangled, and sorry, Moana doesn't stand a chance.

However, I look at this against Frozen, and I still wonder what people ever saw in that movie.

Different strokes for different folks.

It had its moments, and the bonding between Moana and Maui were indeed the strengths of the film.

But when you add in the deus ex machina of the ocean seemingly as a third character that tossed in save whenever it was needed...

Well, why didn't the ocean just take Moana straight to the end of her mission?

I know, lessons to learn and all that growing up stuff and redeeming Maui.

It's enjoyable enough, mostly harmless, and Jermaine Clement is awesome, and woefully underused as the villain.

Glad I saw it, but won't be rushing out to buy it or anything like that.


 Final Grade: B-

To Remake Or Not To Remake..."Pete's Dragon"

Pete's Dragon (2016)

Rated PG

Starring Oakes Fegley, Bryce Dallas Howard, Robert Redford, Oona Laurence, Wes Bentley, Karl Urban,

Directed by David Lowery

The Story:

Pete (Fegley) becomes orphaned and is raised in the wild Pacific Northwest by a dragon he calls Elliot. As the years pass, he is discovered by a girl (Laurence) and her mom (Howard), the local forest ranger. The only real problem, Gavin (Urban) has learned that the forest has a dragon in it, and he's decided it would fetch him a fortune.

Well, Disney swung for the fences with this one, making a live action adaptation of a late 70s hybrid live action/animated feature.

The good thing, it's better than the original, unless you happen to adore that movie, then it's quite likely you might hate this one.

Hard to say, I've seen differing opinions all over the internet.

One lady was reduced to tears because of the changes between films.

Yikes.

Some people need to get out more.

:)

Personally, I was pleased that the musical numbers were gone, and so too the abusive foster parents that Pete had to endure growing up.

The problem, for me, that has plagued most of these live action remakes, is that they're still just average at the end.

Disney has taken beloved animated classics, or in this case, an older movie (heheheh...) and just put a new coat of paint on it and pushed it out the door.

Maleficent at least had the decency to tell an entirely new story, and it remains the benchmark of quality for these films.

The rest have come across as average, which for other studios might be okay, but when this is Disney putting out a Disney movie, it seems like we should expect a little bit more, and I'm still just not seeing it.

Again, there's nothing wrong with the film on its own merits, it simply exists.

Plus, like most movies, they severely underutilized Karl Urban and so his villainous turn is half-hearted, at best.

Perhaps I'm jaded because How To Train Your Dragon has already taken the story of a boy and his dragon and raised the bar so well, this one just didn't have a chance.

Final Grade:  C

Just As Long As There's No Singing... "The Jungle Book"

The Jungle Book (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Lupita Nyong'o, Scarlett Johannson, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Jon Favreau

The Story:

Mowgli (Sethi) is a man cub growing up in the jungle, raised by a pack of wolves. However, Shere Khan (Elba) is ready to exact vengeance, so they decide it's time to return Mowgli to the man village. Bagheera (Kingsley) leads him through the jungle, hoping to keep him safe until they reach their destination. But the jungle is full of interesting creatures, and Mowgli is an inquisitive little boy...

So Disney returns with their lastest live action update of their animated classics.

For those keeping score at home, we were deadlocked at 1-1.

Maleficent was an interesting take on Sleeping Beauty and added something new to the legend.

Cinderella was a straightforward bore, partially due to the fact that it is one story that has been told in many different forms over the years, and has been done better.

So it's up to the Jungle Book to break the tie.

Would I love it, or would I be indifferent.

Well, for starters, like Life of Pi, this movie is absolutely gorgeous. Whether it's all green screen, or they actually went on location to the most lush jungle imaginable, there isn't a jarring CGI blip in the action, so it's totally believeable.

The talking animals, well, you either love or hate that aspect of films. They did a good job and the animals all look pretty realistic, and the voice cast does a wonderful job with their roles.

And let's face it, that animated film had some of Disney animations' finest voices on that film.

Sethis' Mowgli is in 95% of the movie, and he does a great job as the little man cub who has to grow up and learn the ways of the jungle, all the while allowing a little bit of his humanity to seep into the character.

And I loved the ending did not send Mowgli back to the man village.

Yay!

So did I like it? Yes I did.

Did I love it...

Well, I probably would have...

But...

Then they let the animals sing.

:: sigh ::

No offense, but I thought they would let Murray whistle "The Bear Necessities", or even just use part of it as dialogue.

But then they sang, and I felt myself cringing. It's just out of place and wrong that late in the movie to suddenly become a musical.

But okay, I guess I can forgive this one moment...

Wait, what?

King Louis (Walken) is getting angry and starts talking, and then breaks into song...

No.

NO, this is too much.

I could feel the review crumbling as I watched, there was no coming back from this.

So yes, I hammer this film for the singing, and it falls from Best of the Year contention, to just another movie that I watched.

Final Grade:  B-

It's A Jungle Out There..."Zootopia"

Zootopia (2016)

Rated PG

Starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake, J.K. Simmons, Shakira,

Written and Directed by Byron Howard, Rich Moore, Jared Bush

The Story:

Judy Hopps (Goodwin) is determined to be the first bunny rabbit to ever join the police force. It's never been done before, and society at large says it shouldn't be allowed, but she manages to join the force in time to land the biggest missing animal case the city has ever seen. To save her job, she joins forces with Nick (Bateman),  a streetwise fox to try and unravel the whereabouts of the citizenry of Zootopia.

Leave it to Disney to strike a chord with the masses with a kind-hearted message movie about racial and/or gender equality that is appealing to the masses.

In this case, you've got the predators and the prey living side by side, but with some nefarious plotting afoot, how long will the fragile peace in the land last?

Then by switching the focus from Nick to Judy, you've also added the layer that girls can do anything boys can do, if that is what they want to do.

So yes, heavy social topics, but not delivered with a heavy hand to take away the enjoyment of the movie.

As usual with Disney, they've combined wonderful character designs with a stellar voice cast to create a beautiful movie.

I'm doubtful it needs one, but since it's Disney, I'm sure we  haven't seen the last of these characters. Let's hope the inevitable sequel has a story worthy of the original.

For those that have missed it in theaters or on DVD, starting tomorrow, you should be able to begin streaming it on Netflix as one of the first movies to arrive as part of the exclusive Disney/Netflix deal.

Don't worry, those of you without kids, you can watch it too.

: )

Final Grade:  A-

I Hear Voices In My Head... "Inside Out"

Inside Out (2015)

Rated PG

Starring Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Bill Hader, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling, Kaitlyn Dias, Richard Kind, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan

Written and Directed by Ronnie Del Carmen and Pete Doctor

The Story:

Riley (Dias) and her parents (Lane & MacLachlan) move from the Midwest to San Francisco. Starting over as an 11 year old is rough. But this tale is told from the perspective of the the little voices inside your head, the emotions that lead you through life: Sadness (Smith), Disgust (Kaling), Anger (Black), Fear (Hader), and their leader, Joy (Poehler). They've got Riley running like a well-oiled machine, but then Sadness keeps inexplicably ruining things. When she and Joy disappear from the command center, Riley is left to be controlled by Fear, Anger and Disgust while Sadness and Joy must try everything they can to get back to help Riley before it's too late.

Leave it to Pixar to take a simple concept and craft it into a funny, moving picture that will make you laugh and cry, often at the same time.

They make kids movies for the kid inside all of us, and never talk down to the little ones in the process.

They've had a few less than stellar offerings over the years, but what studio hasn't?

9 times out of 10, Pixar is going to deliver and give you one of the best movie-going experiences you have all year.

I say this as someone who was getting really, really, really annoyed with the character of Sadness at the beginning of the movie. I was liking everything about the film, except her, for the first 20 minutes or so and was actually about to say "if she doesn't get better really soon, I'm done!"

But patience, being the virtue that it is, won out. That's about when Sadness and Joy are sucked away and must scramble for their lives to get back to save Riley from making some really bad decisions that will affect her life in ways that are quite troubling for anyone.

Yet with the dark themes about how Riley's life is changing, Pixar manages to keep it as amusing as possible, thanks in no small part to all of the vocal cast. Black's distinct voice is so spot on for Anger, and he never fails to entertain.

Be warned, you're going to need a tissue or two before the film is over.

Unless you have no heart, then you're good.

:)

Final Grade: A-

The Future's So Bright..."Tomorrowland"

Tomorrowland (2015)

Rated

Starring George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Raffey Cassidy, Hugh Laurie,

Directed by Brad Bird

The Story:

There's a place called Tomorrowland where genius inventors are invited to try and shape a better future for the world. Nix (Laurie) brings these geniuses to this other world, and a young inventor named Frank gets invited by Nix's daughter, Athena (Cassidy). Years later, Casey (Robertson) begins seeing visions of Tomorrowland and tracks down Frank (Clooney) to help her find it. The only problem, Frank doesn't want to go back, and the citizens of Tomorrowland want them both dead!

So much potential.

I'm not sure what exactly happened, as Brad Bird is normally gold when he directs (and writes) the movies.

I'm going to go out on a limb with a regular finger-pointing on this matter:

It's too long.

Otherwise, it's filled with some pretty interesting bits, and some great actors who seemed to be having a great time with the film.

The story really picks up once Casey and Frank team up and attempt to get back to Tomorrowland.

The energy and the story seems to ramp up quite a bit at that point.

The problem is, there are too many less interesting bits holding this altogether, and by the time Clooney makes his "official" entrance, the movie seems half over, and nothing has truly happened.

Snipping about 10 to 20 minutes or so from some of the buildup might have streamlined the overall narrative.

There were good intentions to be found here, and the overall message and idea behind the film are solid.

It simply stumbles in the execution.

Final Grade: C+

A Long Time Ago...And Not A Moment Too Soon! "Star Wars: The Force Awakens"

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Harrison Ford, Peter Mayhew, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Andy Serkis, Anthony Daniels,

Directed by J. J. Abrams

The Story:

30 years have passed after the fall of the Empire. Rising from the ashes are the New Order, and they are bent on finding Luke (Hamill) the last of the Jedi and killing him. Thankfully, the Resistance is led by General Organa (Fisher) and she has sent her best pilot (Isaac) to locate the whereabouts of her brother. However, nothing is ever easy for the Resistance, and if not for the conscience of a pacifist stormtrooper (Boyega) and a plucky desert scavenger (Ridley), the galaxy would be reduced to a pile of burning rubble.

Seriously, what's the point of writing any synopsis for this movie. Everyone's seen it by now, right?

Those that haven't either don't want to, or don't want to.
:)

Well, I wanted to, and I took the boys, and we had a blast.

When the lights dimmed, and the logo pops up with the John Williams fanfare...

I got a little misty.

This isn't a movie, this was an event 30 years in the making.

The future trilogy, as promised by George Lucas back in the 70s that he retconned himself into believing he never said, is finally here.

And Lucas is nowhere to be found because he sold the franchise to Disney.

They in turn handed the keys to the kingdom over to J. J. Abrams who successfully, like it or not, revamped Star Trek for a whole new generation.

As you watch this movie, there are many, many, many familiar beats to the story.

Sure, it's because J.J. took the entire original trilogy, dropped it in a blender and poured out The Force Awakens.

And you know what?

I liked it.

You didn't need to see the original trilogy to get what was going on here, but it certainly helps.

You definitely didn't need to see any of the misguided prequels.

Everything you need to know is right here.

J.J. Abrams basically said " I'm going to do one Star Wars film, and this is it." He bridged the gap between then and now and introduced us to a whole new cast of characters that we can get to know and love.

Little kids will now be able to be Finn, Rey or Poe out on the playground, if kids still do that pretend stuff in the 21st century.

Plus almost all of the stars of Star Wars have returned in one form or another, and we get to watch Han Solo (Ford) nearly steal the movie out from under his younger co-stars every time he's on screen.

The movie ends with a nice closing shot of what to expect in the next movie which should be here in about 18 more months.

Everyone's got an opinion about this film. This film is getting picked apart in ways I never dreamed possible. Even by people who claim to like it!

My opinion is: I had a lot of fun.

Welcome to 2016.

Welcome to the first film in the running for Best of the Year status.

Final Grade: A-

Ashes To Ashes..."Cinderella"

Cinderella (2015)

Rated PG

Starring Lily James, Cate Blanchett, Sophie McShera, Holliday Grainger, Richard Madden

Directed by Kenneth Branagh

The Story:

Ella (James) loses her mom at an early age, and when her father remarries, she tries to please her stepmother (Blanchett) and two step-sisters (Grainger & McShera). Ah, but tragedy strikes again, and soon their disdain and contempt shine through and Cinderella earns her name as she is ground under the boot of her family. If only a Prince Charming (Madden) would come to the rescue...

Ultimately, disappointing.

Where Disney struck gold with Maleficent doing a live action version of Sleeping Beauty, but presenting a different take on the tale, Cinderella becomes a boring paint by numbers retelling of the story with little left to the imagination.

Clearly the animated classic was better, and for that matter, so was the far superior Ever After which told this story, and much better, back in 1998.

I must say though, I will give Blanchett credit for being an exceptionally cruel stepmother. There was no real reason for her behavior, and she dialed it up to 11. Thoroughly detestable.

But it's Disney, and their hype machine is in full swing, and all the little girls out there will no doubt wish to see this version.

Meh.

So be it, but this makes me nervous about all the remaining live-action reboots that Disney is churning out at an alarming rate.

I will proceed with caution.

And so should you if you're looking for a version of Cinderella to watch with the family.

Final Grade: C

This Movie Should Be Dragged "Into The Woods" And Left There

Into The Woods (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Anna Kendrick, Meryl Streep, Daniel Huttlestone, James Corden, Emily Blunt, Christine Baranski, Tracey Ullman, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Mackenzie Mauzy, and a cast of thousands.

Directed by Rob Marshall

The Story:

What do you get when you combine Cinderella, Rapunzel, Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk a wicked witch and an annoying baker and his wife into a musical?

If you guessed an excruciating 2 hours (plus change!) of your life sucked from the earth, congratulations, you've apparently already seen this movie.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I can see that on paper this might sound appealing. 

Apparently, it works on the Broadway stage.

But wow, this was a rambling, overblown mess of a movie that just wouldn't end.

You think it will, but no, it's like they remembered, no, we still have the big finale where all the tales must once again intersect with each other in the  most contrived way possible.

So why did I finish the whole film, you ask?

I'm not sure.

Boredom.

Train wreck style, I wanted to see if it could get any worse.

Well, it never truly got worse, but it never got any better.

It was a visually pleasing movie, and all of the actors were game for their roles.

It was simply too much.

And not even of a good thing, it was simply too much of everything.

I'm guessing that some of this was added for the movie, because I can't see a broadway production pulling off that massive of a storyline every night.

Plus, the one thing about a good musical, or even an average musical, is the songs which the cast should sing.

There isn't a memorable tune or melody to be found in this feature from start to finish.

Except one.

The one sung by Johnny Depp to a little Red Riding Hood.

This was perhaps the most cringe-worthy cinematic experience I've ever endured, watching a 50+ year old man dressed as a wolf, but only vaguely, expressing his desires for a child.

Unintentional I'm sure, but wow, does it just come off with a creepiness factor of about 11.

Final Grade: D

We've All Had Days Like "Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Steve Carell, Jennifer Garner, Ed Oxenbould, Dylan Minnette, Kerris Dorsey,

Directed by Miguel Arteta

The Story:

The Coopers (Carrell, Garner, Minnette and Dorsey) have a pretty good life. All except for Alexander (Oxenbould), who feels that he has a pretty bad day (see story title), every day!  So naturally on his birthday, he makes a wish on his cupcake that for once, his family could feel what it's like to not have a perfect day.

Remember kids, be careful what you wish for!

Okay, admittedly I rolled my eyes when I heard this was being adapted into a movie. I vaguely remember the book from my youth, and I'm not sure I've ever read it to my kids when they were growing up.

But from what I remember, there's no way that book becomes a movie.

However, put the ball in the other court, and show the rest of his perfect family having a very not-so perfect day, and you've struck gold.

Or, at least with my rating, how about silver?

It's a perfectly fine family comedy, but isn't that what we've come to expect from Disney over the years?

Carell gets some amusing gags throughout the film, and Garner has an exceptional bit with legendary Dick Van Dyke.

And if there is any wonder on whether or not the Coopers can turn it all around before the credits roll...

Well, this isn't  your first Disney film, is it?

: )

Final Grade: B-

The Best Movie of 2015...So Far. "Big Hero 6"

Big Hero 6 (2014)

PG

Starring Scott Adsit, Ryan Potter, Daniel Henney, T.J. Miller, Jamie Chung, Damon Wayans Jr., Genesis Rodriguez, James Cromwell, Alan Tudyk

Directed by Don Hall and Chris Williams

The Story:

Hiro (Potter) is a engineering prodigy who isn't utilizing his talents the way his big brother (Henney) would like. So a chance meeting at the university opens Hiro's eyes to the cool things that his brother and his best friends make, including the healthcare robot, Baymax (Adsit). Sadly, tragedy strikes, and it sets Hiro on a course for vengeance, and he's bringing some friends along for the ride. Will Hiro cross the line, or will his true heroics shine through?

Based on a true... nah, just kidding.

It is based on a Marvel Comic, though one you've likely never heard of.

So that being said, make sure you stick around through the credits for the usual Marvel teaser at the end.

The great thing about this one, it feels like a great comic book movie and harkens back to The Incredibles as seeing superheroes on the screen and it works.

This one could overtake that film as the best animated superhero movie ever made as well.

Time will tell.

There are also the usual bits and pieces of "been there done that" in the film, but that's okay, because just like in a live action film, if you're going to borrow scenes/ideas, borrow from some great films.

Like Iron Giant.

:)

The other nifty aspect of these heroes, they don't have powers. They have abilities that they created in a lab which is far more realistic than you might think.

It's a great voice cast, and unlike most films, there really aren't any "stars" to overpower anything. Just some great voices bringing life to their characters.

Which brings us to Baymax.

Much like Leonard Nimoy brought life to an emotionless Vulcan and helped make him human, Adsit brings the robotic Baymax to life and makes him the heart and soul of the film.

Just go watch the film already, you'll be glad you did.

Tissues are optional, depending on your heartlessness level.

:)

Final Grade: A

Everything You Thought You Knew Was A Lie... "Maleficent"

Maleficent (2014)

PG

Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley

Directed by Robert Stromberg

The Story:

Maleficent (Jolie) is a fairy from the land of monsters, nymphs and all the cool myths and legends. Stephan (Copley) is the young man who woos her and may be able to bridge the worlds of man and myths. However, when he spurns her love and commits the ultimate betrayal, Maleficent is devastated. One day, Stefan has remarried and  has a daughter, Aurora (Fanning). Maleficent puts a curse on the babe that one day she will prick her finger on a spindle...
You know how it's supposed to end.

This tale offers up Maleficent's side of the story, and by the end of the story, perhaps she's not as evil as we were led to believe.

I totally expected to hate this movie.

Turn it off midway through, walk out on it, roll my eyes and ignore it while surfing Facebook... all of the above.

But no...

I stayed, glued to the screen, impressed with the story that was unfolding before me.

Maleficent is given a great back story that invites us in, and slowly we forget all about the Disney adaptation that we all grew up on.

Which considering this movie is from Disney, I guess the retcon is allowable. :)

This is the first of many Disney live-action remakes.

What originally seemed like a pathetic cash-grab, now seems like it could be the start of something impressive.

I will tread forward with optimism, but so far, so good!

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I wouldn't mind watching or owning this one in the future.

Time For A Little Baseball in January... "Million Dollar Arm"

Million Dollar Arm (2014)

PG

Starring Jon Hamm, Suraj Sharma, Madhur Mittal

Directed by Craig Gillespie

The Story:

JB (Hamm) is a sports agent who is being outspent and out hustled by the bigger agents in town. So he concocts a try-out for players of cricket in India to be the next big thing in Major League Baseball. When the tryout doesn't go as planned, JB isn't quite sure what to do.

That's when he decides to be a better person.

Awwww...

Did I mention this was based on a true story?

No, I didn't.

But it is.

And it's not a bad story...

But boy is it LOOOOOONG.

Clocking in at over 2 hours, it feels every bit of it, and a bit more even.

: /

Disney needs to learn how to shave a bit of the time off these true-life dramas and get to the point a bit quicker.

Naturally, you can guess how the story ends, so I won't say they make a professional team because that would be a major spoiler.

Oops again.

: )

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'll have to go with once was enough on this one. Not every baseball movie is a surefire hit.

Toony Tuesday: "Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed In At The House Of Mouse"

Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed In At The House Of Mouse (2001)

Starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Just about everyone else

The Story:

Mickey's nightclub, The House of Mouse, suffers a snowstorm that will not let the toons go home. So while we wait for them to be dug out, enjoy 4 entertaining cartoons interspliced between the festivities.

For those that watched the House of Mouse on Disney, this is likely a must-have.

Me, I showed up to see if there were good toons in there somewhere.

There should be a happy medium for everyone involved.

There are 2 new toons: Donald being chased by a crack in the ice; Mickey and Minnie in the Nutcracker.

These are okay and can grow on you with repeated viewings.

Then there are 2 classics: Mickey's Christmas Tree where Chip & Dale get a ride home and are terrorized by Pluto, and Mickey's Christmas Carol wehre Scrooge McDuck gets the plum role of Ebeneezer Scrooge.

These are both stellar options from the Disney vaults. If only the snow battle between Donald and his nephews was included, this would be near-perfection.

This version of A Christmas Carol is my second favorite, trailing only the Muppets. 
Go figure, I prefer less than realistic versions of that one!

The scenes in the nightclub are hit or miss.

I do have to wonder though, why is Beauty back with The Beast? I mean, at the end of the movie, he got changed to a Prince. Hmmm...
Seems fishy!

Fun for the whole family, and not the worst toons you'll see this holiday season.

Available to stream currently on Netflix as of this writing. 

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No purchase, I own the Disney classics, but I'll see them again next year.

"The Kid" Is A Mixed Bag Of A Movie...

The Kid (2000)

Rated PG

Starring Bruce Willis, Spencer Breslin, Emily Mortimer, Lily Tomlin, Jean Smart,

Directed by Jon Turtletaub

The Story:

Russ (Willis) is closing in on 40. He's an image consultant that doesn't really like his job, nobody really likes him, and he frankly really doesn't care much about anything anymore.  One night he comes home to find a kid named Rusty (Breslin) in his house. As the mystery unfolds, it would appear that Rusty is the 8 year old version of Russ and this is the classic, what key moment in life does Russ need to fix in his youth that will make his life better.  Or is it?

Also known as "Disney's The Kid", that should pretty much clue you in on how this movie will unfold.

My problem with it, is that it runs very slow throughout much of the plot.

I often argue that comedies, and family movies included, should run just about 90 minutes.

This one goes 15 minutes beyond that, and you feel every minute of it, and then some.

I'm not sure exactly where or why this takes place, but to me, the film just feels too drug out for its own good.

Once they finally figure out that Russ and Rusty are the same person, the race to the third act begins to pick up some speed.

Then, when it is revealed who caused the meeting between the two in the first place, you sort of shrug and say, "okay, whatever."

Never an intended consequence I would imagine.

Not a horrible way to spend your movie watching time, but nothing I need to rush back to do again.


Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It had been 14 years since I last saw this one. Nothing screams that I can't wait another 14 to see it again.

I Wish I Could Move To "Gravity Falls"

Gravity Falls (2012)

TV Y-7

Starring Jason Ritter, Kristen Schaal, Alex Hirsch, Linda Cardellini

Created by Alex Hirsch

The Story:

Twin siblings Dipper (Ritter) and Mabel (Schaal) are sent to spend the summer in Gravity Falls, Oregon. They are in the care of their Great Uncle Stan (Hirsch) who runs a tourist trap in the town. Dipper soon discovers that the town is filled with supernatural secrets and he spends his time trying to solve these secrets while also pining away at the girl of his dreams, Wendy (Cardellini).

I watch very few cartoons anymore, so if I do, it has to be well-written and have a great voice cast.

This has that, in spades.

Credit, of course, needs to be heaped on Hirsch as the series creator, head writer, and main vocal talent for not only Gruncle Stan, but also Soos, the handyman at the Mystery Shack, and other characters.

Each episode has built slowly from each other, expanding the secrets of Gravity Falls. However, there is rarely any point that you just can't jump in as a new viewer and understand what is going on.

Of the 27 episodes that have aired on the Disney Channel, I'd like to say they were all perfect, but I can't.

The one with Mabel's crush on the boy band is the least favorite of the entire family.
I don't know, something about that episode just didn't do it for anyone in the family, and it was even deleted from the DVR.

That's some serious business right there!

Otherwise, it's a lot of fun and again, some of the best writing on tv, period, cartoon or not.

Naturally, dealing with supernatural, your parental discretion is warranted.

However there hasn't been too much to worry about overall.

Except maybe Stan in his boxer shorts...

:: shudder ::

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Most episodes have been seen several times. Summerween (a holiday that should be adopted!) is a personal favorite. :)

Forget Friday Night Lights But Always "Remember The Titans"

Remember the Titans (2000)

Rated PG

Starring Denzel Washington, Will Patton, Donald Faison, Hayden Panettiere, Ryan Gosling, Wood Harris, Ryan Hurst, Kate Bosworth

Directed by Boaz Yakin

The Story:

The year is 1971 and a federal mandate declares that an all-white school and an all-black school be integrated. Coach Herman Boone (Washington) is brought in as the head coach ahead of Coach Bill Yoast (Patton) who must swallow his pride and coach the defense instead. They assemble a talented mixture of athletes of both color and prepare for their season.  Before the year is over, this Virginia community is going to learn to overcome the obstacle of race as the Titans respond to the controversy in the only way that truly matters: they win.

Of course, this is based on a true story.

Add to that, this is produced by Walt Disney studios.

I would have to say that pound for pound, nobody does true stories better than Disney.

Naturally, Washington gives a great performance.  When doesn't he?

Patton does as well. He's a seriously underrated character actor who never gives a bad performance, and usually elevates any film he's in just by being there.

That said, the movie is about the football players, and how they gel to become a team.

I won't single out any one as better than the other in their performance because like the men they portrayed, they do this as a team, and they shine.

I will give mention to young Hayden Panettiere though. Already an accomplished actress by the time she got this role, I would say this is the film that catapulted her on her way to stardom.

She is absolutely precious as Coach Yoast's daughter who lives and breathes the game, almost more so than her father does.

This is one of those great sports movies that is great, even for people who don't like sports.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: This is one of those movies I've always meant to pick up and add to the library, but have yet to get around to doing so.  Perhaps next year with the inevitable 15th anniversary re-release?

These "Bears" Could Use Some Foraging Advice From Yogi

Bears (2014)

Rated G

Narrated by John C. Reilly

Directed by Alastaire Fothergill and Keith Scholey

The Story:

In the latest DisneyNature documentary, John C. Reilly narrates the adventures of an Alaskan brown bear over the course of a year as she protects and raises her two newborn cubs.

If you've seen any of the other DisneyNature documentaries, you know what to expect.

Reilly does his best narrating a story with gorgeous scenery, but many of the lines fall flat, or deliver eye-rolling groans of "who writes this stuff?"

However, they're making these for the kids, so I guess you have to take what you're given.

The film chronicles the life of Skye, the mother bear as she raises her two cubs Scout and Amber.  She must work hard to keep the cubs alive and safe from other bears who would like nothing better than eating her babies for a snack while they wait for the salmon to arrive.

The scenery is nothing short of amazing.

At a little over an hour, it's not too taxing on you either.


Final Grade: C, maybe a C+ on a good day.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd have to pass on watching this one again. Cute once, but that was plenty.