A Tale As Old As Time..."Beauty & The Beast"

Beauty & The Beast (2017)

Rated PG

Starring Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Josh Gad, Kevin Kline, Hattie Morahan, Ewan McGregor, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson

Directed by Bill Condon

The Story:

A prince (Stevens) who rejects the needs of an old beggar (Morahan) is cursed to life as a beast unless he can find love, and have someone fall in love with him despite his looks. With the chance of the spell being broken in time to stop the transformation from being complete, chance sends Belle (Watson) to the castle in search of her father (Kline) and then the race is on to see if these two will fall in love and break the spell.

Egads.

Where do I begin?

I consider the 1991 animated version to be one of Disney's very best movies they've ever made.

So I've tried to approach each of the Disney live action remakes with an open mind that they're taking a good movie, trying something new-ish with it, to varying results.

Maleficent - loved it. It was actually a different take on the Sleeping Beauty story and was quite enjoyable. Later efforts, like Cinderella offered no new take on the classic, and were downright boring. Even The Jungle Book, it started off okay, but when it began singing, I totally lost interest in the film and would never bother with it again.

Which leads us to Beauty & the Beast.

It's probably unfair of me to judge this film based on the animated classic, but it's hard not to when it follows nearly every beat of the story identically.

I have no idea how close/far it follows the Broadway musical, as I've never seen it.

And for much the same reason that I was worried about seeing the film version.

Can they do the story justice?

In a word: No.

Now if you've never, ever, ever never seen the animated movie, then you'll likely enjoy this film.

I'm happy for you.

The story itself is a great one.

And the songs, especially those that were in the original, are beautiful and very catchy.

Yet when transposed to this movie...

For me, it just didn't work.

Belle's opening number has some pauses in the song that just kill the flow of the song.

Nearly all of the songs are like that, close, but not quite catching the spirit and oomph that the original had.

The cast..

Luke Evans actually pulled off Gaston very well, and of the entire cast, I think he did the best job of making the character his own.

I suppose I might as well get the sexist label out right away:

Belle, whose name means beauty (says so, right in the song) is played by Emma Watson.

Yeah... so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that this casting was about as smart as casting Kristen Stewart as Snow White against Charlize Theron as the evil queen. Who's the fairest in the land?

Exactly.

But whatever, she's the star, but as I watch the movie I become painfully aware that her acting and emotions are rather stilted and wooden.

In one scene, where the Beast finally lets her go, what should be a face of relief, or happiness, or just about anything is conveyed with a look of anger. Or constipation. I'll let you decide.

Stevens does fine under the makeup (which is tremendous) as the Beast.

In fact, the whole movie is gorgeous, I will always give credit where it's due, and it's a beautiful movie to watch.

But again, I can't help but compare it to what came before, and this one comes up lacking.

Big time.

I liken it to having a delicious dinner, possibly the best you ever had.

Then going to another restaurant, or maybe a friend's house, or even trying it yourself.

All the ingredients are pretty much the same, or as close as you can muster.

And it's okay at the end, but it never does quite taste as good as the meal you're trying to recreate.

In the end, the more I watched this film, the more I wanted to turn it off and watch the animated version.

That leads me to a Final Grade: C no... C-....D+

There Goes The Neighborhood..."High-Rise"

High-Rise (2015)

Rated R

Starring Tom Hiddleston, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Miller, Luke Evans, Elisabeth Moss, James Purefoy

Directed by Ben Wheatley

The Story:

Dr. Laing (Hiddleston) moves into a futuristic high-rise designed by The Architect (Irons). It has all the amenties that you could ever want, and the residents leave only to go to work...if at all. However, as the building continues to have power and other issues, a class-war between floors seems inevitable, and the whole building plunges into chaos.

Well, that was something alright.

Based on a novel by the same name, this freaky look back at a possible future in the swinging 70s is all style, and either no substance, or too much substance.

That the entire citizenry of a building would devolve into total anarchy instead of, oh, I don't know...

MOVING OUT!!!!

Seems ludicrous to me.

As a book, or a movie.

But okay, I get it, you're trying to tell a story, so sometimes you have to suspend reality a bit.

However, in the end, much like the tenants of the building, I watched myself descend into an uncaring state of what happened to these characters.

That's never a good thing in the movies.

Especially one filled with so many talented actors.

Bright side, the recreation to capture the look and feel of the 70s was pretty amazing.

That said, it's now available to stream on Netflix if you'd like to check it out for yourself.

Final Grade: D+

"Dracula Untold" Was Worth Telling

Dracula Untold (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance

Directed by Gary Shore

The Story:

Inspired by the true story of Vlad Tepes (Evans), this take on the legend of Dracula shows how the ruler became a legend in order to save his wife (Gadon) and son (Parkinson) from the cruel leader of the Turks (Cooper) who was going to enslave 1000 of the children under Tepes rule, including his son. Vlad found a way to get the power he needed to thwart the enemy, and it would last for 3 days unless he gave in to the hunger of the blood.

Oops.

:)

Well of course he gives in, he's Dracula after all!

However, it's the struggle to avoid being consumed by the power that is the heart of the story of Vlad who seeks only to save his family, and his kingdom from the tyrannical Turks.

Evans remains one of my favorite "B movie actors" who is finally getting a chance to work in "A Level material", undoubtedly thanks to the success of his turn in Fast 6. I welcome his arrival as the star and hope he lands more leading roles in the future.

Dracula Untold shies away from a lot of the bloodshed and violence that a movie like this seemingly demands.

However, I don't think that was a bad decision. We don't need to be drenched with blood to get the point of the film, sometimes not being shown allows us to think of the horror in our own minds, which usually is way scarier, and cooler, than the effects on screen.

Plus, bonus points for the creative way in which Dracula was shown to move in this film. Visually stunning, and very creative to the legend.

I enjoyed it, your mileage may vary.

Final Grade: B- (like the blood type)

This Movie Series Is Dragon On And On... Get It? "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Rated PG-13 for violence

Starring:  Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Benedict Cumberbatch, Luke Evans

Directed by Peter Jackson

The Story:

Bilbo (Freeman), Gandalf (McKellen) and the Dwarves continue their push back to the Dwarf homelands, defeat Smaug (Cumberbatch) and reclaim their lost treasure and kingdom.  By the end of the movie, the Dragon is angry and about to go on a rampage at the nearby village.

I can't help but think if they would have trimmed  some of the first and added parts of this one into the first Hobbit, they could have made this a pretty good trilogy.

But at this point, pushing for a 4th movie is just plain greedy, and it feels like padding.

So I take it on this installment, that otherwise was more action oriented than the previous installment.

The cast beefs up with the arrival of an old friend, Legolas (Bloom) who you must remember we are seeing for the first time... and female elven warrior Tauriel (Lilly) whose crush on Legolas is about to go out the window before this film is over.

Luke Evans comes aboard as a mysterious entity in the human outpost of Laketown.  It seems like he is fated to make up for a family mistake of not killing Smaug when they had the chance.

Really, like killing dragons is easy.

Finally, I must commend them for the barrel riding sequence for being a great action chase scene with quite a bit of humor interspersed with all of the action.

Good stuff.

So complaints of padding aside, I'll still sign up to see the next installment on DVD when it comes out.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor - I didn't feel the same charm as the first part of The Hobbit with this one.  While heavier on the action, at closing in on 3 hours, these films become a labor to watch on repeated viewings.

Need For Speed Weekend "Fast and Furious 6"

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Rated PG-13 - Language, violence, car crashes galore!

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson

Directed by Justin Lin

The Story:

Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) is an evil man.  His band of car terrorists are robbing military convoys to obtain parts that could destroy a country.  Agent Hobbs (Johnson) realizes he needs to fight fire with fire, so he recruits Dom (Diesel) to reassemble the crew to help him take down Shaw's gang.  The kicker?  It appears that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is alive and working with Shaw.  With their crew reassembled for one more run, Brian (Walker) asks for one thing: full pardons for everyone.  Hobbs relents, and the game is on!

Buckle up!


One of my Top 10 Films of 2013 (Best Films of 2013) holds up as well, possibly even better on a repeated viewing at home.

If You Can't Beat Them... Join Them in the Sequel!

The bar that was elevated with the 5th film is possibly surpassed ever so slightly with this 6th installment of the Fast and Furious franchise.

The heist elements are still there, though to a lesser extent as now the team is working on the side of The Man, though they are still willing to bend as many laws and rules as possible to get the job done.

Lin returns to helm his final installment of the series, and he goes out with a bang.  A lot of bangs.

I Believe I Can Fly...

He amps up the  car chase from 5 with a tank chase in this movie.  It's amazingly destructive and just an adrenaline rush to watch.

All of the players are given ample opportunity to shine, and that's saying something for a cast this size.

Aside from the obvious chemistry that Diesel and Walker have accumulated over the life of the franchise, it's always  hilarious whenever Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris) share some screen time.


The only flaw from the film, aside from the Rock's disappearing and reappearing goatee... ;)  is the massive, 800 mile runway at the end of the film.

Just Sayin'...

Suspend your disbelief (like you haven't already with this franchise) and it won't bother you too much.

Finally, for those that like to turn off a movie as soon as it is over, sit through the credits for about a minute.

There is a scene for the setup of Fast 7.

It also shows you that Tokyo Drift is really Fast & Furious 6.5, not 3.

Also, kudos to Universal for however they did it, whether it was scrapping the initial release and redoing all of the discs or what they did, but they included a beautiful tribute to Paul Walker that is really a nice recap of the franchise, focused on Walker's involvement.

It's still hard to believe he's gone, or how emotional that made me, and I would assume other Fast & Furious fans.

As I mentioned in my In Memoriam post about Walker, fans feel strongly when celebrities pass because next to family, friends or co-workers, these actors, musicians, authors, etc. bring us together as a collective audience.  Any friends of mine who enjoyed this franchise will mourn what could have been with 7 or beyond.

Heck, I've let the entire family gather around and watch this franchise at home with Dad, so we've lost someone that's been in a lot of movies the family has enjoyed for the last 13 years.

So thank you Paul Walker for the fun body of work that you've left for us to enjoy.
You will be missed.

And thank you Universal for the Fast and Furious franchise.  What started as a movie focused on street racing has blossomed into a wonderful franchise that has simply gotten better every time a new one comes out.

That's impressive.

Checked last year's review (Fast 6 Theater Review) and the film gets a slight bump between theater and DVD release.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:   Without a doubt, in fact it was under the tree for Christmas, so I'm quite the happy guy! ;)

Good Movie. Disgusting Candy Bar..."The Three Musketeers"

Welcome to the 423rd retelling of the Dumas classic...

Give or take.

The Story:

The classic tale of Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans) meeting d'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) and rallying together to fight the evil forces of Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Walz) has been filmed a few times and is well known by now.  

 

What could possibly be added that wasn't there before?

Flying airships?

Sold!!

So really, Dumas' classic gets skewered and changed around haphazardly with every iteration so that each of the characters often ends up doing something that their counterpart actually did... blah blah blah... you get the idea.  Regardless of the telling, the 4 end up fighting together and saving the day, that part normally remains intact.

Filling out the star-studded cast is Milady (Milla Jovovich) and the Duke (Orlando Bloom) among others.

The costumes, set designs and action sequences make it a period piece with a sense of action and adventure instead of a rigid history lesson designed to lull you to sleep.

How well does it stack up against the rest of the filmed versions?  Again, this will be entirely dependent on your love of flying airships.  :)  Or, your enjoyment of the story, or the other versions that have been filmed.  Until this point, the only other version I've endured more than once has been the Disney version with Sheen, Sutherland, O'Donnell and Platt.

A key part of the film centers around DaVinci's blueprint for a flying ship, equipped with cannons galore.  While highly improbable, it does make for a fun final act of the film.

I watched this one, it kept me entertained, that's good enough for me.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: If it played again, I could certainly watch it.  Don't know that I'll rush out to buy it though.

You Will Believe A Lot of Things Can Fly... "Fast and Furious 6"

It's always been about family...

The Story:

The gang is enjoying their lives of luxury, when Agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) comes calling to enlist Dom (Vin Diesel) and the crew to help take down Owen Shaw (Luke Evans).  It seems that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) isn't as dead as everyone thought, and she's working for Shaw to steal some military technology.  Brian (Paul Walker) says that they'll help catch Shaw and save Letty... if they can get full pardons and get their lives back.

The little franchise that could.

For those that have never seen one, the opening credits pretty much catch you up on everything you need to know.

For those of us that have been around since the beginning, this movie is as satisfying as Fast Five had been.

Plus, my long-standing question of how did Han survive Tokyo Drift gets answered. 

The correct order for viewing the franchise is now: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 3, 7... coming to theaters next summer!?!

As for the movie itself, there are two moments that require a suspension of disbelief.  Diesel going Superman on the bridge... and the world's longest runway...

Other than that, Justin Lin goes out with a bang for the series.  Hopefully the new director keeps up Lin's vision and keeps the series both exciting and fun a the same time.

Fast Seven is set up, thanks to an ingenious flashback to Tokyo Drift.  While it's sad to see Han truly go... I've got to admit I'm really excited for the next installment.

Now playing in theaters near you this weekend...

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Oh yeah, I'm all over this one when it comes to DVD! : )