Do Not Unleash "King Arthur: Excalibur Rising"

King Arthur: Excalibur Rising (2017)

Not Rated

Starring Adam Byard, Simon Armstrong

Written and Directed by Antony Smith

The Story:

2017 was the year for King Arthur adaptations. Unless you were looking for a good King Arthur adaptation. In which case, 2017 was a bad year for King Arthur adaptations.

This was super cheesy, low budget drivel that was nearly impossible to stick with through the first 15 minutes.

Merlin (Armstrong) was basically there to remind you that Ian McKellan is the only actor that can apparently portray grey bearded wizards in fantasy films.

I was sitting with my hand over the eject button when the movie shifted and the scene said "19 years later."

Then one of the characters addressed the other as "Sir xxxxx" and when he said that he hadn't heard that name in years, the reply was "yes, 19 years...."

Eject.

Sooooo bad.

Now you see why I couldn't just outright dismiss Legend of the Sword. That was a masterpiece compared to this trash.

Final Grade: F-

A Tale As Old As Time..."Beauty & The Beast"

Beauty & The Beast (2017)

Rated PG

Starring Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Josh Gad, Kevin Kline, Hattie Morahan, Ewan McGregor, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson

Directed by Bill Condon

The Story:

A prince (Stevens) who rejects the needs of an old beggar (Morahan) is cursed to life as a beast unless he can find love, and have someone fall in love with him despite his looks. With the chance of the spell being broken in time to stop the transformation from being complete, chance sends Belle (Watson) to the castle in search of her father (Kline) and then the race is on to see if these two will fall in love and break the spell.

Egads.

Where do I begin?

I consider the 1991 animated version to be one of Disney's very best movies they've ever made.

So I've tried to approach each of the Disney live action remakes with an open mind that they're taking a good movie, trying something new-ish with it, to varying results.

Maleficent - loved it. It was actually a different take on the Sleeping Beauty story and was quite enjoyable. Later efforts, like Cinderella offered no new take on the classic, and were downright boring. Even The Jungle Book, it started off okay, but when it began singing, I totally lost interest in the film and would never bother with it again.

Which leads us to Beauty & the Beast.

It's probably unfair of me to judge this film based on the animated classic, but it's hard not to when it follows nearly every beat of the story identically.

I have no idea how close/far it follows the Broadway musical, as I've never seen it.

And for much the same reason that I was worried about seeing the film version.

Can they do the story justice?

In a word: No.

Now if you've never, ever, ever never seen the animated movie, then you'll likely enjoy this film.

I'm happy for you.

The story itself is a great one.

And the songs, especially those that were in the original, are beautiful and very catchy.

Yet when transposed to this movie...

For me, it just didn't work.

Belle's opening number has some pauses in the song that just kill the flow of the song.

Nearly all of the songs are like that, close, but not quite catching the spirit and oomph that the original had.

The cast..

Luke Evans actually pulled off Gaston very well, and of the entire cast, I think he did the best job of making the character his own.

I suppose I might as well get the sexist label out right away:

Belle, whose name means beauty (says so, right in the song) is played by Emma Watson.

Yeah... so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that this casting was about as smart as casting Kristen Stewart as Snow White against Charlize Theron as the evil queen. Who's the fairest in the land?

Exactly.

But whatever, she's the star, but as I watch the movie I become painfully aware that her acting and emotions are rather stilted and wooden.

In one scene, where the Beast finally lets her go, what should be a face of relief, or happiness, or just about anything is conveyed with a look of anger. Or constipation. I'll let you decide.

Stevens does fine under the makeup (which is tremendous) as the Beast.

In fact, the whole movie is gorgeous, I will always give credit where it's due, and it's a beautiful movie to watch.

But again, I can't help but compare it to what came before, and this one comes up lacking.

Big time.

I liken it to having a delicious dinner, possibly the best you ever had.

Then going to another restaurant, or maybe a friend's house, or even trying it yourself.

All the ingredients are pretty much the same, or as close as you can muster.

And it's okay at the end, but it never does quite taste as good as the meal you're trying to recreate.

In the end, the more I watched this film, the more I wanted to turn it off and watch the animated version.

That leads me to a Final Grade: C no... C-....D+

It's About Time...Travel... "X-Men: Days of Future Past"

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

The X-Men are being wiped out by the Sentinel program. To save themselves, Professor Xavier (Stewart) and Magneto (McKellan) join forces with the remaining X-Men, they run a risky gambit of sending Wolverine (Jackman) back in time to find Professor X (McAvoy) and Magneto (Fassbender) to try and stop Mystique (Lawrence) from making a huge mistake that will cause the creation of the Sentinels.

Confused?

Don't be.

It will all make sense before the whole thing is over.

And in the process, they build on the great work from X-Men: First Class and bring the entire X-Men franchise back to relevance and in direct competition with Marvel Studios.

Nothing like a bit of friendly competition.

If Marvel can't get their franchises all back under one roof (boooo), then I'd like to at least see them be successful and well made.

I was never really thrilled with any of the Wolverine or X-Men movies until First Class came along.

Now, with Days of Future Past, Fox resets the entire franchise and is able to go forward (or backward) and do anything they want.

Bravo, well played.


Fox better enjoy this while they can, because it is just about time for them to begin recasting all of the roles once again.

I'm not sure how many more turns in the claws Jackman has, but he's leaving some really big shoes to fill.

Good luck.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Enjoyed it, bought it. One of the 10 Best of 2014. Looking forward to the next installment.

Now Playing..."X-Men: Days Of Future Past"

X-Men- Days of Future Past (2014)

Rated PG-13 for language, violence, and Hugh Jackman's bum

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Peter Dinklage, Ellen Page,

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

In the future, the war between humans and mutants is nearing its end.  What is left of the X-Men make one last stand.  If they can use Kitty Pryde's (Page) talents to send Wolverine (Jackman) back to 1973, he can avert the assassination of Dr. Bolivar Trask (Dinklage) by Mystique (Lawrence).  The government will capture Mystique and use her unique DNA to create the Sentinel program and use those weapons to wipe out mutant-kind.  Wolverine will need to reunite Xavier (McAvoy) and Magneto (Fassbender) to help him stop Mystique, and hopefully change the future.

Well, how about 20th Century Fox.

In one fell swoop, they fixed everything that was wrong with the X-Men/Wolverine franchise with a bit of a soft reset button.

All it took was a bit of time travel, and a willingness by the franchise to embrace the awesomeness of X-Men: First Class and move forward.

Initial reaction?

This is probably the best X-Men movie yet. 

I may have to watch First Class again just to make sure, but it was pretty darn good.

I was never that enamored with either of the first X-Men movies, and I didn't hate the 3rd nearly as much as every other human.

Totally disappointed with the first Wolverine solo movie, mostly for the total butchery of Deadpool.

:: sniff ::

But again,  one fell swoop, and everything can now be different.

The best parts of the movie:


1) Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver - Awesome. Hilarious.  Now that we've seen what the X-Men can do with him, let's see what Joss Whedon can do in The Avengers.

2) Blink - She was awesome, and short-lived (once upon a time) in the comics.  She was awesome in the film.

If you've abandoned the franchise at any point, come on back.  If you've never set foot in the franchise... you might get a little confused, but I think the plot is solid enough not to lose you too much, give it a try.

And yes, sit through the entire credits.  You'll be treated to a scene that does two things:

1) It sets up the next X-Men movie.
2) It answers an age old question about how something was made.

:)

And yeah, I still don't get people that get up and leave at the end of comic book films!

I felt bad for this one lady and her kids.  The husband/dad was growing impatient at having to sit and watch the credits roll.

As the credits just about finished, he told her "there's not anymore credits to put a scene into, let's go".

Jerk.

So they left, and were out of the theater just as the teaser played.

Ah well...

I think I'll have to give the X-Men the ranking of 2nd best comic-book movie of the year so far.

Moving ahead of Spider-Man 2, but trailing Captain America.

Let's see how the Guardians do in August.

Final Grade: A-/B+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'll be adding it to the X-Library this Christmas.

This Movie Series Is Dragon On And On... Get It? "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Rated PG-13 for violence

Starring:  Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Benedict Cumberbatch, Luke Evans

Directed by Peter Jackson

The Story:

Bilbo (Freeman), Gandalf (McKellen) and the Dwarves continue their push back to the Dwarf homelands, defeat Smaug (Cumberbatch) and reclaim their lost treasure and kingdom.  By the end of the movie, the Dragon is angry and about to go on a rampage at the nearby village.

I can't help but think if they would have trimmed  some of the first and added parts of this one into the first Hobbit, they could have made this a pretty good trilogy.

But at this point, pushing for a 4th movie is just plain greedy, and it feels like padding.

So I take it on this installment, that otherwise was more action oriented than the previous installment.

The cast beefs up with the arrival of an old friend, Legolas (Bloom) who you must remember we are seeing for the first time... and female elven warrior Tauriel (Lilly) whose crush on Legolas is about to go out the window before this film is over.

Luke Evans comes aboard as a mysterious entity in the human outpost of Laketown.  It seems like he is fated to make up for a family mistake of not killing Smaug when they had the chance.

Really, like killing dragons is easy.

Finally, I must commend them for the barrel riding sequence for being a great action chase scene with quite a bit of humor interspersed with all of the action.

Good stuff.

So complaints of padding aside, I'll still sign up to see the next installment on DVD when it comes out.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor - I didn't feel the same charm as the first part of The Hobbit with this one.  While heavier on the action, at closing in on 3 hours, these films become a labor to watch on repeated viewings.

Seems Like Old Times..."The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"

There and back again...

The Story:

Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm) decides it is time to recount the epic story of his journey years prior with Gandalf (Ian McKellan) and a group of dwarves who set out with Thorin (Richard Armitage) to reclaim their abandoned kingdom that had been overrun by the dragon, Smaug.  The movie then flashes back to young Bilbo's (Martin Freeman) adventures in the wild.  Naturally, the adventure is only halfway done by the time the credits roll...

Could it have been told in one movie? Yes.  I see what they are going for here, besides the money, they are trying to recapture the majesty and triumph of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and on that note, they succeed.

Back in the director's chair, after claiming he wouldn't, is Peter Jackson.  Really, if you're going to wrap up the Tolkien series with a big fat bow, you might as well bring the guy with the vision who did it all already, back to the fold.  That and he brought back a whole host of characters from the trilogy to make a cameo or extended appearance including Frodo (Elijah Wood), Elrond (Hugo Weaving), Galadriel (Cate Blanchett), Gollum (Andy Serkis) and Saruman (Christopher Lee).

Which is both interesting, and annoying, at the same time.  Naturally, as I lamented when it first came out, I would have preferred that the Hobbit had been filmed first since story-wise it came first, so that when you meet these people, it would have been for the first time.  But alas, what can you do at this point?

Very nice that they were able to all come back and reprise their characters, though not having read the book in 25-30 years, I can no longer remember if all of the scenes they were in were even in the book.  My first thought is no, and this was simply a further means to tie the Hobbit closer to the Rings trilogy...

: )

The cinematography once is again is spectacular as Middle Earth comes to life by way of New Zealand.  The movie is a bit long, with many extended sequences of walking (marching) through the wilderness that could have been trimmed for time... but when you're going in planning on making a 2 parter, I suppose you pad for the sake of making it worth our time and money, and not stretching too far that you turn it into a trilogy!

Anyway, I quite enjoyed the return to Middle Earth, and I look forward to the epic conclusion.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Low.  I own the Lord of the Rings trilogy and have never watched them again since the first time.  Hard to work in such a massive time consuming epic into a busy life.  Though given the choice, I would prefer to watch this over the Trilogy any day.  Just like the book.