Just As Long As There's No Singing... "The Jungle Book"

The Jungle Book (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Lupita Nyong'o, Scarlett Johannson, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Jon Favreau

The Story:

Mowgli (Sethi) is a man cub growing up in the jungle, raised by a pack of wolves. However, Shere Khan (Elba) is ready to exact vengeance, so they decide it's time to return Mowgli to the man village. Bagheera (Kingsley) leads him through the jungle, hoping to keep him safe until they reach their destination. But the jungle is full of interesting creatures, and Mowgli is an inquisitive little boy...

So Disney returns with their lastest live action update of their animated classics.

For those keeping score at home, we were deadlocked at 1-1.

Maleficent was an interesting take on Sleeping Beauty and added something new to the legend.

Cinderella was a straightforward bore, partially due to the fact that it is one story that has been told in many different forms over the years, and has been done better.

So it's up to the Jungle Book to break the tie.

Would I love it, or would I be indifferent.

Well, for starters, like Life of Pi, this movie is absolutely gorgeous. Whether it's all green screen, or they actually went on location to the most lush jungle imaginable, there isn't a jarring CGI blip in the action, so it's totally believeable.

The talking animals, well, you either love or hate that aspect of films. They did a good job and the animals all look pretty realistic, and the voice cast does a wonderful job with their roles.

And let's face it, that animated film had some of Disney animations' finest voices on that film.

Sethis' Mowgli is in 95% of the movie, and he does a great job as the little man cub who has to grow up and learn the ways of the jungle, all the while allowing a little bit of his humanity to seep into the character.

And I loved the ending did not send Mowgli back to the man village.

Yay!

So did I like it? Yes I did.

Did I love it...

Well, I probably would have...

But...

Then they let the animals sing.

:: sigh ::

No offense, but I thought they would let Murray whistle "The Bear Necessities", or even just use part of it as dialogue.

But then they sang, and I felt myself cringing. It's just out of place and wrong that late in the movie to suddenly become a musical.

But okay, I guess I can forgive this one moment...

Wait, what?

King Louis (Walken) is getting angry and starts talking, and then breaks into song...

No.

NO, this is too much.

I could feel the review crumbling as I watched, there was no coming back from this.

So yes, I hammer this film for the singing, and it falls from Best of the Year contention, to just another movie that I watched.

Final Grade:  B-

And You Thought Your Family Was Weird..."The Family Fang"

The Family Fang (2015)

Rated R

Starring Jason Bateman, Nicole Kidman, Christopher Walken, Maryann Plunkett,

Directed by Jason Bateman

The Story:

Annie (Kidman) and Baxter (Bateman) Fang have grown and left their eccentric parents (Walken & Plunkett) out of their lives as much as possible. When Baxter gets injured, his family comes to take care of him, and the family is reunited one more time. But their parents being weird performance artists have left emotional scars on the siblings. However, when their parents go missing and are presumed dead, the kids aren't too sure that this isn't just their latest masterpiece.

If it sounds weird, it's because it was weird.

It's a quirky dramedy that explores the relationship between a family that was so dysfunctional, they had no clue what dysfunction even was.

And yet, they also had a very good time growing up, and the bond between brother and sister is remarkably strong for all that they endured.

It's a very character driven story that flashes back to when the kids were younger and shows what they endured growing up.

The oddest part of the movie is how it seems like it's also part documentary in narration, which gives the movie a bit of an odd flow to it, but it's nothing that is too hard to look past.

Good performances by all of the actors involved, and that's what propels your interest in the movie from start to finish.

Final Grade: C+

Oh What A Night... "Jersey Boys"

Jersey Boys (2014)

Rated R

Starring Vincent Piazza, John Lloyd Young, Erich Bergen, Michael Lomenda, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Clint Eastwood

The Story:

Growing up in Jersey, pals Tommy DeVito (Piazza), and Nick Massi (Lomenda) recruit a great singer named Frankie Valli (Young) to join their group. As they get more known in the area, musician and writer Bob Gaudio (Bergen) joins the group and thus were born The Four Seasons.

This is their story.

Odds are good that if you've heard any rock/pop music in your life,  you've heard at least one of the songs by the Four Seasons, whether you knew it or not.

And while this may be a musical, only in the broadest of senses as the songs usually play out as an actual scene where they might be giving a concert or performing a gig or something along those lines.

So if musicals scare you where people randomly break out into song and dance numbers, you'll be perfectly safe here.

At least until the credits roll, then Eastwood has the entire cast do a traditional song and dance number, but it's fun and a nice capper to the end of the film, and is arguably the Four Seasons best known number.

The narrative for the story comes from each of the members as they will break the fourth wall and address the audience for a minute to get the story started. It's an effective device and used minimally so there is little distraction from the story.

All in all, a pretty good tale that makes for an entertaining viewing.

Final Grade: B

Sequel Week Continues: "Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser"

Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser

N/R

Starring David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Mark McGrath, Christopher Walken, Patrick Warburton, Dennis Miller

Directed by Fred Wolf

The Story:

Joe Dirt (Spade) returns! Picking up where the last film left off, Joe and Brandy (Daniel) are happily married and raising three adorable triplet girls. However, a twister sends Joe back in time to 1965, and he must attempt to get back to his life and meet Brandy before the timeline is ruined and Brandy winds up with Jimmy (McGrath) instead.

If ever there was a movie that I never thought I'd see a sequel for, Joe Dirt has got to be right up near the top.

I have unashamedly admitted that I find the original to be hilarious from start to finish, and one that I have no problem watching at anytime.

It's pretty funny, and has a lot of heart.

Well, in the 14 years since we last saw our mulleted friend, it seems like some of the heart was forgotten in the sequel.

There are a few amusing gags and scenes throughout the film, but the backstory narrative that worked so well as Joe described his life in the first one, is kind of overthought and skipped around quite a bit.

It seems like Spade and Wolf thought, hey, if we're taking Joe "Back to the Future", this would be a funny gag, and this would be awesome to do, and this, and this and this...

So it's a lot of ideas that try and tell a story with a weak bridge holding them together.

Almost like an "oh yeah, and Joe loves his kids and Brandy and wants to get back to them."

However, if you're going to borrow, you might as well go with gusto, so besides Back to the Future, It's a Wonderful Life gets a good chunk of plot used in this film as well.

If it sounds like I'm picking on Joe Dirt, well, I guess I am. However, that's what people do with Joe Dirt.

I love the original, it's a classic, cult comedy.

Any sequel has some big shoes to fill, and they don't quite pull it off with the same sincerity of the first film.

I did appreciate that almost the entire cast returns in some shape or form in the sequel. It was fun to see them all together again.

I must also give props for Mark McGrath stepping into Kid Rock's shoes to give us a villain to boo, and someone to never want to eat popcorn with.

Plus, I must give credit to Spade and everyone else who worked to make this film streamable exclusively on Crackle.com.

You get the movie, streamed to your device with just a few commercials randomly inserted along the way.

With the proliferation of shows going to Netflix, Yahoo, Amazon, Hulu, it's neat that movies are going to also be given another venue to be made and seen.

If you enjoyed the first Joe Dirt, this will give you a few glimmers of amusement that make you remember why you really enjoyed that film, and those characters so much.

Lightning like that rarely strikes twice, but I'll give them an A for effort.

The movie however, only a C.

Sorry Joe.

Like A Bad Rash... "Batman Returns"

Batman Returns (1992)

Rated PG-13 for language/violence

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken

Directed by Tim Burton

The Story:

Batman is back, and this time he is trying to stop The Penguin (DeVito) who is blackmailing  Max (Walken) to worm his way into society and making the Penguin mayor!  Max's secretary, Selina Kyle (Pfeiffer) discovers some documents and is thrown to her apparent death.  Ah, but she survives and becomes... Catwoman!

Speaking of Batman films I never bothered with, this was another one.

But now I've watched it, and it was again... meh.

At least they realized that Batman should be the star of his own movies at this point, but the introduction of Catwoman is what this movie will be remembered for.

Which is a shame.  This franchise should have made a mega-star out of Keaton, but he was always overshadowed by his co-stars.

First Nicholson, and now the introduction of Catwoman.

Seemingly, one villain was no longer enough for the bat-films, and everyone thought that more villains equaled a better movie.


Wrong.

It really spelled the doom for this franchise.

At least Burton had some ability to reign in the crazy with the extra cast.

With his departure, the franchise was about to change...


Forever!

(Cue ominous foreshadowing music!)


Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No thanks, I'm good.

Today On The Zander Kelly Show..."Joe Dirt" !!

Joe Dirt (2001)
Rated PG-13 for language

Starring David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, Adam Beach, Christopher Walken

Directed by Dennie Gordon

The Story:

The story of Joe Dirt (Spade) as related across the airwaves when he becomes a guest on the Zander Kelly (Miller) show.  Joe relates how he was abandoned at the Grand Canyon as a kid, and has made his way in life, trying to find his family.  The obvious victim of ridicule on the show and in life, a strange thing happens as he tells the tale of his life, and the city becomes enamored with Joe and his search for family, and love, with Brandi (Daniel) the girl with a heart of gold.

How is it that I've never reviewed this movie before?

Okay, I imagine there are two types of people reactions when the movie Joe Dirt is mentioned.

Those that recoil in horror at the thought of this, or any movie, starring any former Saturday Night Live cast member, especially named David Spade or Adam Sandler.

And those that recognize this movie as the Citizen Kane of Trailer Trash movies.

:)

I feel bad for that first group, because they are blindly judging a movie the second group understands that start to finish, this movie is flat-out funny.

Infinitely quotable, I defy you to find a fan of this film that can't quote you at least one of the hilarious Dirt-isms of the film at a moment's notice.

The movie is peppered with wonderful supporting characters from the obvious (Walken) to the inspired (Kid Rock) that you might not expect in a movie like this.

So sit back, and just let the Joe Dirt-iness wash over you.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Own it. Love it.

"The Rundown" - The Humble Beginnings Of An Action Star

The Rundown (2003)
Rated PG-13 for language and violence

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken, Rosario Dawson

Directed by Peter Berg

The Story:

Beck (Johnson)  is a bounty hunter who wants to get out of his line of work and become a chef.  If he takes one last job, to bring back the boss's son, Travis (Scott) from the Amazon, he'll get his money, and be free to go.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ah, the Rock's first film, free from the Mummy-verse, this was the 2nd production offering from the newly created WWE Studios.

This is one that's a guilty pleasure that I usually leave on if I'm surfing through channels and stumble across it.

The Rock gets off to a great start as an action hero, even getting the proverbial passing of the torch from Ah-nuhld at the very beginning of the film.

Seann William Scott is annoyingly hilarious as the 2nd half of the proven successful buddy cop/partner film.  The oil to the Rock's water.

Great B Movie fun, enhanced by Christopher Walken chewing up the Amazon as the bad guy who's making life difficult for both of the guys.

The fight scenes are impressive and very well-choreographed.

Peter Berg is a very underrated director in my opinion.

The running time is just about perfect, just over 90 minutes, and there's really never any dull moments.

I hear rumors that a sequel is in the works.

About time.

:)

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I own it, and I try and watch it at least once a year.

A Peek Behind Hollywood's Curtains... "America's Sweethearts"

America's Sweethearts (2001)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal, Catherine Zeta-Jones, John Cusack, Hank Azaria, Christopher Walken, Seth Green

Directed by Joe Roth

The Story:

Lee Phillips (Crystal) has been fired as a movie publicist by his boss (Stanley Tucci).  However, when the latest film is being held hostage by director Hal Weidmann (Walken) they beg Lee to come back and try and save the movie that stars the split power couple of Gwen and Eddie (Zeta-Jones and Cusack).  Can Lee save the movie and the couple?

I may be in the  minority but I am one of the few that likes this movie.

I found the film to be very funny and engaging when normally all-star films like this flop.

With Crystal as the helm as one of the writers, all of the characters have a unique voice and vision within the film.  Even the smallest parts have something to add overall to the film.

Hank Azaria probably has the best role in the film as the home-wrecking Spaniard with the crazy accent. :)

It's an interesting, if madcap look at life behind the camera as well for Hollywood stars. 

You can see the romantic setups coming from a mile away, but with the cast and storyline that's assembled, it is definitely a ride worth taking.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own a copy of this movie, and I would say it gets a spin every few years.

Today We Unveil A "Blast From the Past"

A lot has changed over the years...

The Story: 

Calvin and Helen Webber (Christopher Walken & Sissy Spacek) are expectant parents in the 1960s.  Of course Calvin being a true American, he's ready for the Commies and has built a marvelous bomb shelter under their home.  Fate steps in, and sure enough, the Webbers are forced to use it.  Sealed in for 35 years, they raise their son, Adam (Brendan Fraser) but the day has come when they must go to the surface for supplies.  Adam heads up to get the supplies, and the hope of finding a bride.  And that's when Adam meets Eve (Alicia Silverstone).

It's like destiny!

I proudly admit, I love this movie.

It's both sappy sweet, and funny.

Brendan Fraser gives one of his best performances as the literal thinking Adam who is shocked to see what the world has become compared to what he has grown up learning about it.  He's the wide-eyed boy with a heart of gold and not a cynical bone in his body.

His chance encounter with Eve of course is the perfect balancing act.  She's cynical to the very core, and yet there's something sweet about Adam that makes her unable to be as mean as she could be whenever he's around.

This is Silverstone's second best movie for me, behind Clueless.  Unless you count Batman and Robin.

And nobody I know counts Batman and Robin.

:)

Walken is genius, as always.  His manic persona works effortlessly in this movie, and he's wonderful every moment he's onscreen.

Spacek balances nicely as the loving, but tired of being underground wife.  Thankfully, she's packed almost enough alcohol  to keep her from going insane.

I would be remiss if I don't mention Dave Foley's performance as Eve's best friend.  He's hilarious in his admiration of Adam's lifestyle and helps bridge the gap between Eve and Adam and shows them the obvious clues in their relationship that they are missing.

It's a little charmer, and you can't help but root for Adam in all of his endeavors.

Plus there is the hope and wish that maybe, just maybe, life was as nice as he pictures it in his head.

Final Grade: B+... easy.  Probably A-/A range for me.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own, and it used to get watched quite a bit, but hadn't seen the light of day in about 5 years.  It was a nice reminder of how fun the movie really is.

No Comedians Were Harmed In the Making of "Stand Up Guys"

I want him dead... you hear me... dead!

The Story:

Val (Al Pacino) is released after a lengthy stint in jail.  He's picked up by his friend and accomplice, Doc (Christopher Walken) and taken home.  It seems that a local crime boss wants Val dead, because years ago Val apparently killed the son of said crime boss.  Doc is supposed to do the deed.  But how can he take the life of his best friend?  So with one night left on earth, all Val wants to do is party and have fun.  This includes springing their other partner, Hirsch (Alan Arkin) from his retirement home so the three can take on the world together, one last time.  But with time winding down, Doc's got some hard choices to make on whether to turn on his pal, or to forfeit his own life instead.

You know, I intentionally write short summaries of the movies, because I hate giving away everything that happens in them.

Movie trailers used to serve to whet the appetite to wanting to see the film.  You see just enough, and you're interested and want to see that film.  It sounds good...it looks good.  Too often lately, the trailer seems to give away too much, often to the point of "well, why bother seeing this one?"

I write this caveat, because as I re-read it my plot description.... it actually sounds like it should be a good movie that I would want to watch.

And it almost is...

It's a little slow... and the performances from 3 master scene stealers... well amazingly, they are all rather subdued, and rarely steal much of anything throughout, especially Walken.

I don't know if that's to the overall detriment of the film or not.

But as I watched the film, I never felt engaged with the characters until the movie was probably roaring...okay...strolling... into the third act.

And no offense to movies, but waiting until the end to begin making an emotional investment with the audience and characters is a bit too long.

The movie is wrongly categorized as a comedy, but it's not a comedy, though it is humorous.

However, it is probably too light to be considered a drama.

It's a movie that for me, should have been more.  Something is missing, and I still don't know what that ingredient is. 

That's a shame.


If you want to see these three great actors in better, recent films, try Christopher Walken in "Seven Psychopaths"; Alan Arkin in "Argo" and Al Pacino in... uh... hmmm... I'm not sure Pacino has made a good movie recently...

: /

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough for this one.

"Seven Psychopaths" in Hollywood? I Demand a Recount!

There's a lot of crazies in California...

Here are 7 of them.


The Story:

Marty (Colin Farrell) is a struggling screenwriter who is mentally blocked on his latest screenplay, Seven Psychopaths.  He's been getting some ideas from his good friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) that is helping him to flesh out and create the psychopaths that the tale requires.  Meanwhile, Billy and his pal Hans (Christopher Walken) make some quick money by stealing pets and returning them to their owners for a big reward.  The problem?  They just stole the wrong guy's (Woody Harrelson) dog, and he's not going to rest until he makes them pay!


The film lives up to its name.  There are indeed seven, if not possibly more, psychopaths on the loose in this film.  While Harrelson, Walken and Rockwell are chewing up the scenery at every turn, Farrell tries to remain the sane center, grounding the flick in reality.

The movie is absurd, and delightful, often at the same time.

If you saw Martin McDonagh's first film, In Bruges, also starring Colin Farrell, you kind of get the idea of what to expect:  Clever dialogue, crazy characters, and bloodshed aplenty.




If you haven't, you should, it's a pretty good film.

Seven Psychopaths takes all of that, and ramps it up several notches.

Everyone does a great job, stellar acting from top to bottom.  Walken actually plays the more subdued character this go round, taking a backseat to the zany Rockwell and the angry Harrelson.  The dialogue has flashes of insane brilliance, but stays pretty consistent great throughout.

The film isn't for everyone, but if you like black comedies, you're probably going to enjoy this one.


Final Grade: B
Is It Worth Adding to My Film Collection: It could be, but probably will not.  Since I am the only one who would watch it at my house, I usually have to pass on movies like this.