Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad..."The Dark Tower"

The Dark Tower (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Tom Taylor, Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughy

Directed by Nikolaj Arcel

The Story:

Jake (Taylor) is having mysterious visions about a Gunslinger (Elba) and a Man in Black (McConaughy). Apparently the dark tower that holds the entire universe together is under attack, and unless the gunslinger defeats the bad guy, the world as we know it will end.

Since the dawn of time, there have been good Stephen King adaptations, and there have been bad Stephen King adaptations.

I suppose there is also a third category: indifferent adaptations.

I'm not the best judge in the world to decide which movie falls into which category because:

1) I have not seen every Stephen King movie adaptation.
2) I have only read a handful of Stephen King novels to compare them to.

However, when the movies are good: Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, they often become cinematic treasures, adored for generations.

When they aren't...

And 2017 seemed to be the year for The Return of the (Stephen) King.

IT was a huge financial and critical hit, along with the Netflix Original adaptation of Gerald's Game.

But come on, you saw the trailers for this movie.

Did it ever really look like anything more than what was offered?

And what was offered, didn't look that spectacular to begin with.

8 novels, compressed into 90 minutes, that felt like over 3 hours of endurance waiting for something, anything of importance to happen.

I'm sure someone out there might have been a fan of this one, but I sure wasn't.

Final Grade: D

Verily Tis Time To See "Thor: Ragnarok"

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Tessa Thompson, Karl Urban, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Hopkins,

Directed by Taika Waititi

The Story:

Ragnarok, the prophesied end of Asgard is at hand. Hela (Blanchett), the Goddess of Death seeks to destroy all that remains of Asgard and take her place on the throne. The only one who has any hope of stopping her is Thor (Hemsworth), and he's going to have to travel across the entire cosmos to get their in time. 

You've seen the trailer, and if that didn't get you psyched to go see this one, then there's not much I can write to convince you.

Waititi delivers the best of the 3 Thor sagas on the silver screen, and yes there's a lot of humor in it...

But I don't think at any point is the humor too distracting, or not in character for any of the characters.

Hemsworth has always been fun in the role of Thor, and they finally tapped into that and let the God of Thunder be the humorous, full of bravado son of Odin that makes the character shine.

He's complemented with the return of Hiddleston as Loki, and once more the brothers find themselves allied and at odds, sometimes both in the same scene.

Many more surprises, returns and losses for this final film from Marvel in 2017.

Is it their best of the year or best ever?

That will be debatable and vary from person to person.

I'm leaning at still giving that edge for this year to Spider-Man: Homecoming, but that may just be because after 5 attempts, I felt they finally got it right.

With Thor, they never really got it wrong, so much as they didn't deliver on everything that it could be.

So go, see the movie and have a good time.

Laugh it up, because things are about to get a lot darker next year with the arrival of Infinity War.

Final Grade: A

The Trek And The Furious..."Star Trek Beyond"

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

PG-13

Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, Sofia Boutella, John Cho, Anton Yelchin,

Directed by Justin Lin

The Story:

The crew of the Enterprise lands on an alien planet where their latest enemy (Elba) vows to destroy the Federation. With help from an alien (Boutella) and the Beastie Boys, perhaps Kirk (Pine) and his crew can save the galaxy.

Again.

So at this point, you either love (or at least tolerate) the rebooted franchise, or you hate it.

I'm not sure there's a middle ground.

I've enjoyed both the original series and the reboot for what they are: entertainment.

I enjoyed this installment of the series more than Into Darkness, mostly because I wish they would create new storylines for this crew versus rehashing old storylines.

Though this plot seems vaguely reminiscent of some previously seen episode, or movie...

maybe GalaxyQuest?

:)

Justin Lin moves from the Fast & Furious franchise to take over the Trek franchise, at least for one film.

If he does stick around, expect The Rock to show up in another sequel, soon, but that's about the time the quality of the franchise gets even better.

My biggest complaints for the film:

Karl Urban is woefully underused, as usual, and is still the best character the franchise has.

Star Trek: Beyond.  Star Trek-Beyond.

It's killing me to not have some type of punctuation in the movie title.

Otherwise, I need to know Star Trek Beyond...What?

What have they gone beyond?!?

;)

Final Grade: B-

Just As Long As There's No Singing... "The Jungle Book"

The Jungle Book (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Lupita Nyong'o, Scarlett Johannson, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Jon Favreau

The Story:

Mowgli (Sethi) is a man cub growing up in the jungle, raised by a pack of wolves. However, Shere Khan (Elba) is ready to exact vengeance, so they decide it's time to return Mowgli to the man village. Bagheera (Kingsley) leads him through the jungle, hoping to keep him safe until they reach their destination. But the jungle is full of interesting creatures, and Mowgli is an inquisitive little boy...

So Disney returns with their lastest live action update of their animated classics.

For those keeping score at home, we were deadlocked at 1-1.

Maleficent was an interesting take on Sleeping Beauty and added something new to the legend.

Cinderella was a straightforward bore, partially due to the fact that it is one story that has been told in many different forms over the years, and has been done better.

So it's up to the Jungle Book to break the tie.

Would I love it, or would I be indifferent.

Well, for starters, like Life of Pi, this movie is absolutely gorgeous. Whether it's all green screen, or they actually went on location to the most lush jungle imaginable, there isn't a jarring CGI blip in the action, so it's totally believeable.

The talking animals, well, you either love or hate that aspect of films. They did a good job and the animals all look pretty realistic, and the voice cast does a wonderful job with their roles.

And let's face it, that animated film had some of Disney animations' finest voices on that film.

Sethis' Mowgli is in 95% of the movie, and he does a great job as the little man cub who has to grow up and learn the ways of the jungle, all the while allowing a little bit of his humanity to seep into the character.

And I loved the ending did not send Mowgli back to the man village.

Yay!

So did I like it? Yes I did.

Did I love it...

Well, I probably would have...

But...

Then they let the animals sing.

:: sigh ::

No offense, but I thought they would let Murray whistle "The Bear Necessities", or even just use part of it as dialogue.

But then they sang, and I felt myself cringing. It's just out of place and wrong that late in the movie to suddenly become a musical.

But okay, I guess I can forgive this one moment...

Wait, what?

King Louis (Walken) is getting angry and starts talking, and then breaks into song...

No.

NO, this is too much.

I could feel the review crumbling as I watched, there was no coming back from this.

So yes, I hammer this film for the singing, and it falls from Best of the Year contention, to just another movie that I watched.

Final Grade:  B-

It's A Jungle Out There..."Zootopia"

Zootopia (2016)

Rated PG

Starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake, J.K. Simmons, Shakira,

Written and Directed by Byron Howard, Rich Moore, Jared Bush

The Story:

Judy Hopps (Goodwin) is determined to be the first bunny rabbit to ever join the police force. It's never been done before, and society at large says it shouldn't be allowed, but she manages to join the force in time to land the biggest missing animal case the city has ever seen. To save her job, she joins forces with Nick (Bateman),  a streetwise fox to try and unravel the whereabouts of the citizenry of Zootopia.

Leave it to Disney to strike a chord with the masses with a kind-hearted message movie about racial and/or gender equality that is appealing to the masses.

In this case, you've got the predators and the prey living side by side, but with some nefarious plotting afoot, how long will the fragile peace in the land last?

Then by switching the focus from Nick to Judy, you've also added the layer that girls can do anything boys can do, if that is what they want to do.

So yes, heavy social topics, but not delivered with a heavy hand to take away the enjoyment of the movie.

As usual with Disney, they've combined wonderful character designs with a stellar voice cast to create a beautiful movie.

I'm doubtful it needs one, but since it's Disney, I'm sure we  haven't seen the last of these characters. Let's hope the inevitable sequel has a story worthy of the original.

For those that have missed it in theaters or on DVD, starting tomorrow, you should be able to begin streaming it on Netflix as one of the first movies to arrive as part of the exclusive Disney/Netflix deal.

Don't worry, those of you without kids, you can watch it too.

: )

Final Grade:  A-

It Was Worth The Punishment... "No Good Deed"

No Good Deed (2014)

PG-13

Starring Idris Elba, Taraji P. Henson

Directed by Sam Miller

The Story:

Colin (Elba) is a man prone to violence. On his way to prison, he pulls a scene straight out of The Fugitive to get free. Then he winds up on the doorstep of a woman (Henson) who offers him aid from the storm. Things start off just fine, then begin to spiral quickly. There is more to the relationship between these two than meets the eye!

This was a pleasant surprise.

A well written, superbly acted, crisp thriller.

Not to say there aren't any flaws or that this is Best of the Year material.

However, it's an intriguing plot that holds your attention from start to finish.

Can't ask much more than that from any movie.

Elba is a commanding presence on the screen, and makes movies that he is in even better.

See: Pacific Rim.

:)

Henson is also great as the woman-in-peril / strong woman.

The two share a great chemistry onscreen and it keeps the movie intriguing throughout.

Final Grade: B-

Voltron Was Busy That Weekend... "Pacific Rim"

What if Godzilla and a Transformer had a baby?

The Story:

In the future, a portal opens in the depths of the ocean, and giant monsters begin coming to Earth.  So destructive, the world throws out their petty differences and works as one to create giant robots that 2 pilots will navigate into battle to defend the world against the marauding hordes.  Ah, but the times are a changing, and the robots are being de-commissioned in favor of a protective wall.

But when the wall fails, can the remaining robots and pilots save the world before it's too late?

Easily the best movie of the Transformers franchise.

A shame that it had nothing to do with the Transformers franchise.

The fight scenes and special effects are great.  The scenes, even those taking place at night in, around and underwater are all clear and laid out very well.

Transformers should take notes.

Idris Elba gives a great performance as the leader of the program.

Everything else though, it's just a long...really long... exercise that simply takes about 45 minutes too long to tell.

Pretty to look at, but nothing of substance.

Wait, was this a movie or a supermodel?

If that's how you like 'em, you'll love this one.

I was simply whelmed.  Neither over, nor under.

Final Grade: C... maybe C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: My kids liked it more than I did.  Like I said, nothing terrible, but nothing I'm going out of my way to watch again.