A Tale As Old As Time..."Beauty & The Beast"

Beauty & The Beast (2017)

Rated PG

Starring Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans, Josh Gad, Kevin Kline, Hattie Morahan, Ewan McGregor, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson

Directed by Bill Condon

The Story:

A prince (Stevens) who rejects the needs of an old beggar (Morahan) is cursed to life as a beast unless he can find love, and have someone fall in love with him despite his looks. With the chance of the spell being broken in time to stop the transformation from being complete, chance sends Belle (Watson) to the castle in search of her father (Kline) and then the race is on to see if these two will fall in love and break the spell.

Egads.

Where do I begin?

I consider the 1991 animated version to be one of Disney's very best movies they've ever made.

So I've tried to approach each of the Disney live action remakes with an open mind that they're taking a good movie, trying something new-ish with it, to varying results.

Maleficent - loved it. It was actually a different take on the Sleeping Beauty story and was quite enjoyable. Later efforts, like Cinderella offered no new take on the classic, and were downright boring. Even The Jungle Book, it started off okay, but when it began singing, I totally lost interest in the film and would never bother with it again.

Which leads us to Beauty & the Beast.

It's probably unfair of me to judge this film based on the animated classic, but it's hard not to when it follows nearly every beat of the story identically.

I have no idea how close/far it follows the Broadway musical, as I've never seen it.

And for much the same reason that I was worried about seeing the film version.

Can they do the story justice?

In a word: No.

Now if you've never, ever, ever never seen the animated movie, then you'll likely enjoy this film.

I'm happy for you.

The story itself is a great one.

And the songs, especially those that were in the original, are beautiful and very catchy.

Yet when transposed to this movie...

For me, it just didn't work.

Belle's opening number has some pauses in the song that just kill the flow of the song.

Nearly all of the songs are like that, close, but not quite catching the spirit and oomph that the original had.

The cast..

Luke Evans actually pulled off Gaston very well, and of the entire cast, I think he did the best job of making the character his own.

I suppose I might as well get the sexist label out right away:

Belle, whose name means beauty (says so, right in the song) is played by Emma Watson.

Yeah... so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that this casting was about as smart as casting Kristen Stewart as Snow White against Charlize Theron as the evil queen. Who's the fairest in the land?

Exactly.

But whatever, she's the star, but as I watch the movie I become painfully aware that her acting and emotions are rather stilted and wooden.

In one scene, where the Beast finally lets her go, what should be a face of relief, or happiness, or just about anything is conveyed with a look of anger. Or constipation. I'll let you decide.

Stevens does fine under the makeup (which is tremendous) as the Beast.

In fact, the whole movie is gorgeous, I will always give credit where it's due, and it's a beautiful movie to watch.

But again, I can't help but compare it to what came before, and this one comes up lacking.

Big time.

I liken it to having a delicious dinner, possibly the best you ever had.

Then going to another restaurant, or maybe a friend's house, or even trying it yourself.

All the ingredients are pretty much the same, or as close as you can muster.

And it's okay at the end, but it never does quite taste as good as the meal you're trying to recreate.

In the end, the more I watched this film, the more I wanted to turn it off and watch the animated version.

That leads me to a Final Grade: C no... C-....D+

There Must Be Something Better On The Food Network..."Burnt"

Burnt (2015)

Rated R

Starring Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Daniel Bruhl, Omar Sy, Emma Thompson, Uma Thurman,

Directed by John Wells

The Story:

Adam Jones (Cooper) was an amazing American chef who was the toast of Paris and had it all, then lost it by his behavior and addictions. Now clean and sober, he's been saving up money to get back into the game and earn the third Michelin star. He gathers an assortment of top-notch London chefs to back him in his quest, including Helene (Miller) who can't stand the idea of working for him. Can he pull off the impossible?

For starters, this movie isn't 2 hours long.

Felt like it in some stretches, but it isn't that long.

But take that plot synopsis and I bet you've figured out exactly where this road is heading.

For some reason, Hollywood thinks that movies about chefs are great and they feel the need to keep making them.

This is not Ratatouille.

I think it's time for Hollywood to find another glamorous job to portray on the silver screen.

The 15 minutes for the restaurant chef are really over.

Otherwise, no real complaints for the movie.

Everyone does what they are supposed to do, and every plot device you can check off in your head is going to unfold onscreen.

No surprises.

No real substance though, either.

Final Grade: C

More Like A Sucker Punch... "The Love Punch"

The Love Punch (2013)

Rated PG-13

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Emma Thompson

Directed by Joel Hopkins

The Story:

Richard (Brosnan) and Kate (Thompson) are divorced, but still get along.  When Richard is set to retire from his company, he discovers that the company is under investigation and all assets are frozen.  Looks like the boss put all of that money into a priceless diamond. So Richard and Kate decide to get the money back to the company by stealing the diamond.

It's a romantic comedy heist film.

The problem, the heist is too easy, the romance is barely there, and it simply isn't that funny.

Both Brosnan and Thompson get to flex their comic muscles in roles that are departures from their typical roles.

That would work if the situations weren't overly cliche or just poorly conceived.  Plus, the film is sorely lacking a straight man in much of the film.

You can't have both Brosnan and Thompson being the comic alone and then thrusting them together and expecting one to become the straight man role immediately.

It, like most of this movie, just doesn't work.


Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I barely got through it once, I can't do it again.

And Now For Your Movie Of The Week... "Saving Mr. Banks"

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

Rated PG-13 for thematic reasons...

Starring: Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Annie Rose Buckley, Colin Farrell, Ruth Wilson, Paul Giamatti, Bradley Whitford, B.J. Novak, Jason Schwartzman

Directed by John Lee Hancock

The Story:

Author P.L. Travers (Thompson) has fought off the advances of Walt Disney (Hanks) for over 20 years.  He wants her book, Mary Poppins, to be brought to life onscreen to fulfill a promise to his daughters.  Travers is not interested in seeing her very personal story brought to life in an animated movie, but agrees to meet with Disney to see what will happen.  She is very insistent on everything, including recording her sessions with Disney's representatives Don DaGradi (Whitford) and the Sherman Brothers (Novak and Schwartzman).  However, it is flashbacks to the story behind the Mary Poppins story that reveal why this tale is so important to Travers and why she is so insistent on not giving it to Disney.

We all know that she relents eventually, but the journey is one worth taking to see how she gets there.

I was expecting a good movie.

I don't know that I was expecting it to be *this* good though.

The story opens with flashbacks to Travers as a girl named Ginty (Buckley) who absolutely adores her father (Farrell).  When they move to the end of the line in Australia to take on a new bank job, their mother (Wilson) is nearing the end of her rope.  Mr. Goff is an alcoholic and this is the latest in a series of jobs that have taken a toll on the family.

Yet the father is so sweet, fun and loving, it's impossible not to feel why Ginty loves her dad.

The movie moves back and forth between flashbacks of life in Australia and Travers' meetings at the Disney studios.

While Hanks does an admirable job as Walt Disney, it should be noted that the majority of Travers meetings are with screenwriter DaGradi and Richard and Robert Sherman.  In fact, Disney himself probably has the least amount of screen time in the whole movie of all of the characters. 

And that's not a bad thing.

This is the heart and soul of most of the conflict within the movie, as everything they pitch to her, she rebuffs.

Robert Sherman is the first to openly even question "does it even matter?" to many of her objections, much to the horror of his partners.

Travers remains insistent that the film not be animated and not be a musical.

So you can tell, it's a long, uphill battle for Disney's team to win her over.

However, it's when they realize how personal the story is to Travers, and how they can remedy the tale by providing a happy ending to Mr. Banks that her father never had, that Travers finally relents.

Naturally, being based on a true story, much of the tale is open to interpretation and change.

That said, I like the way the movie played out, and have a better appreciation for Mary Poppins than I did previously.

Plus, this adds yet another layer of appreciation for what the Sherman Brothers brought to Disney studios.  These two are geniuses that deserve much more notoriety and accolades than they have received.  Their songs alone provide much of the heart of the films they provided songwriting duties for.

Including this one.

Well worth a viewing.

Final Grade: A-/B+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'm sure I'm the only one in the house, but much like Mary Poppins, I liked it and wouldn't mind owning it and/or watching it again someday.

The First Review of 2014..."Beautiful Creatures"

Beautiful Creatures  (2013)
Rated PG-13

Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Emma Thompson

Directed by Richard LaGravenese



The Story:

Ethan (Ehrenreich) wants to graduate and leave South Carolina as soon as possible. (Dude, I can totally relate...)  But then one day, Lena (Englert) arrives at school, and she is the woman that has been haunting his dreams.  It turns out that she is the granddaughter of Macon Ravenwood (Irons) and all the townsfolk are abuzz because legend has it that he Ravenwoods are devil worshippers.  In actuality, it turns out that Lena is a witch.  But is she going to be a good witch, or a bad witch?

I don't know.

I didn't make it past the 20 minute mark.

:)

I gave it a chance, but the movie was just dragging along like an anchor.

I had seen the trailer, and had a rough idea what I was getting into when I moved this one to the top of the queue.

But the fascinating struggle of darkness and light was never revealed before I got bored with the film.

Nope, not even the almost always watchable Jeremy Irons could save this one as Mr. Ravenwood.

"How Dare You Not Like My Movie!!"

Heck, I'm not even sure when Emma Thompson showed up, I was long gone by then.

So does Lena turn good or evil?

I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care.

Based off of the book by the same name, if it is a series of books, I will not be returning for any subsequent sequels.

Final Grade: D-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: And we have our first contender for 2014 Turkey of the Year right here!

Pixar Stumbles for the First Time..."Brave"

Pixar attempts to outdo what Disney does best: the Princess Movie

The Story:

Scottish princess Merida (Kelly MacDonald) is at odds with her family.  It seems that her mother and father (Emma Thompson and Billy Connolly) are doing what all good Scottish clan leaders did back in the day: attempting to marry off their daughter to another prince to solidify their empires.  Unfortunately, Merida wants nothing to do with the idea.  She's a tomboy who prefers shooting a bow to dancing with guys.  Merida stumbles upon a witch in the woods and begs for a spell that will change her destiny.  The witch obliges, and turns her mother into a bear.

Congratulations, your destiny has been changed.  Good luck saving your mom from your father and everyone else who now wants her dead...

This is the latest Pixar release that I really wasn't sure about watching.  Having been pleasantly surprised by Ratatouille, Up and Wall*E, you would think that I wouldn't question Pixar's abilities.

And yet...

Something about Brave just struck me wrong from the opening trailers.

I don't want to see another Disney Princess film.  If I did, I'd watch Tangled again.

That is Disney territory, let it be.

However, Pixar once again decided to fool me, this wasn't a Disney Princess tale.

No!

It was a different version of Brother Bear!

 

: /

Again...already done by Disney, and done better.

So, while this was a typically great Pixar production: Great voice casting, beautiful to look at...

I can no longer say, and I quote myself : " The worst Pixar movie is still better than the best movie from any other animated studio ."

That this film won the Academy Award tells me that voters simply see the word "Pixar" and punch the ballot.

That is a shame, because of the list of animated movies I've seen since the beginning of the year, this ranks only above Frankenweenie, which I simply despised, but below everything else.

Final Grade: B-

Would I Own It: Only if the kids really want it, and so far, they were left unimpressed.