Oh What A Night... "Jersey Boys"

Jersey Boys (2014)

Rated R

Starring Vincent Piazza, John Lloyd Young, Erich Bergen, Michael Lomenda, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Clint Eastwood

The Story:

Growing up in Jersey, pals Tommy DeVito (Piazza), and Nick Massi (Lomenda) recruit a great singer named Frankie Valli (Young) to join their group. As they get more known in the area, musician and writer Bob Gaudio (Bergen) joins the group and thus were born The Four Seasons.

This is their story.

Odds are good that if you've heard any rock/pop music in your life,  you've heard at least one of the songs by the Four Seasons, whether you knew it or not.

And while this may be a musical, only in the broadest of senses as the songs usually play out as an actual scene where they might be giving a concert or performing a gig or something along those lines.

So if musicals scare you where people randomly break out into song and dance numbers, you'll be perfectly safe here.

At least until the credits roll, then Eastwood has the entire cast do a traditional song and dance number, but it's fun and a nice capper to the end of the film, and is arguably the Four Seasons best known number.

The narrative for the story comes from each of the members as they will break the fourth wall and address the audience for a minute to get the story started. It's an effective device and used minimally so there is little distraction from the story.

All in all, a pretty good tale that makes for an entertaining viewing.

Final Grade: B

This Movie Should Be Dragged "Into The Woods" And Left There

Into The Woods (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Anna Kendrick, Meryl Streep, Daniel Huttlestone, James Corden, Emily Blunt, Christine Baranski, Tracey Ullman, Johnny Depp, Chris Pine, Mackenzie Mauzy, and a cast of thousands.

Directed by Rob Marshall

The Story:

What do you get when you combine Cinderella, Rapunzel, Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk a wicked witch and an annoying baker and his wife into a musical?

If you guessed an excruciating 2 hours (plus change!) of your life sucked from the earth, congratulations, you've apparently already seen this movie.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I can see that on paper this might sound appealing. 

Apparently, it works on the Broadway stage.

But wow, this was a rambling, overblown mess of a movie that just wouldn't end.

You think it will, but no, it's like they remembered, no, we still have the big finale where all the tales must once again intersect with each other in the  most contrived way possible.

So why did I finish the whole film, you ask?

I'm not sure.

Boredom.

Train wreck style, I wanted to see if it could get any worse.

Well, it never truly got worse, but it never got any better.

It was a visually pleasing movie, and all of the actors were game for their roles.

It was simply too much.

And not even of a good thing, it was simply too much of everything.

I'm guessing that some of this was added for the movie, because I can't see a broadway production pulling off that massive of a storyline every night.

Plus, the one thing about a good musical, or even an average musical, is the songs which the cast should sing.

There isn't a memorable tune or melody to be found in this feature from start to finish.

Except one.

The one sung by Johnny Depp to a little Red Riding Hood.

This was perhaps the most cringe-worthy cinematic experience I've ever endured, watching a 50+ year old man dressed as a wolf, but only vaguely, expressing his desires for a child.

Unintentional I'm sure, but wow, does it just come off with a creepiness factor of about 11.

Final Grade: D

The Remake Will Come Out...Tomorrow... "Annie"

Annie (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz, Quvenzhane Wallis, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale

Directed Will Gluck

The Story:

You all know the hard-luck life story of Annie (Wallis). Well, bringing her from the depression of the 30s into the 21st century, now Annie is going to find her Daddy Warbucks in the form of entrepreneur Will Stacks (Foxx) who has decided to run for mayor. His campaign manager (Cannavale) swears that taking this kid in will boost his campaign through the roof. 

We'll see.

History of the movie from my point of view:

Announced - eyes rolled.

Trailer viewed - opinion changed.

Movie viewed - it was alright, it had its moments.

The update, overall, was not bad. The annoying red-headed girl is gone (except for a brilliant cameo at the beginning) as the story centers on a different Annie under the care of Hannigan (Diaz) and the other charges.

Some of the familiar songs are here, it wouldn't be Annie without them, and they get an update courtesy of the films producers like Jay Z and the like.

More of the film works than it doesn't, and the production looks like they had a pretty good time romping through a musical.

Wallis does great as the unknown who has to shoulder the burden on carrying 90% of the film, and she does a great job. She's cute, but not in an overly precocious or annoying way.

Foxx winds up with most (but not all) of the best lines and moments, but he plays very well opposite Wallis and the two share a wonderful bond onscreen.

Overall, if you like the story and want to see an update, you'll be pleased.

If you hate musicals, you'll probably want to stay away.

Though come on, Hard Knock Life is a great song.

Final Grade: C+

For the Love of Cruise..."Rock of Ages" ???

Aha... so it's a Broadway musical that they turned into a movie...

The Story:

A girl comes to L.A. to become a singer.  She falls in love... people murder great 80s songs in the process....


20 Minute Rule Invoked:


This movie sucked and was yanked out sometime around the 20 minute mark.  Needless to say, this is on the fast track of Turkey of the Year for 2013.

To me, a musical should be like the classics... or even "Grease" where there is a lot of story... big musical number... a lot more story...


This was Song...teeny story...song..teeny story...song/song mashup..teeny story...

Utter crap.

Waste of a great cast too.


2 thumbs, way down.