First Person Failure..."Hardcore Henry"

Hardcore Henry (2015)  


Rated R

Starring Andrei Dementiev, Sharlto Copley, Danila Kozlovsky, Haley Bennett, Tim Roth

Written and Directed by Ilya Naishuller

The Story:

Henry (Dementiev) wakes up to see Estelle (Bennett) putting him back together on a lab table. She tells him sorry his memory is off, but they are married and there's a bad guy, Akan (Kozlovsky) trying to catch Henry and steal his technology. When Estelle is kidnapped, Henry goes into rescue mode to save his love.

So if you saw the trailer for this film, you know exactly what to expect.

It's basically a first person shooter videogame brought to life.

Lots of stunts, lots of action.

Little plot that hasn't already been used in a million other films.

And it's not really that good.

I think the reason why boils down to the first person shooter aspect.

In a videogame, the first person is you.

But this is a movie, it's scripted to go a certain way, so you, the audience, have no control over Henry.

And since Henry isn't really you, and there is no actor to watch, empathize or sympathize with, there is no emotional attachment or investment in the film.

This isn't watching John McClane get beat down and hoping he'll come up with one solution after the next to beat the bad guys.

This is watching some arms and legs punch and kick and blow stuff up.

Watch the trailer...it's pretty much the entire movie, but with a better soundtrack, and much less time wasted.

Oh, and PS:

If you didn't think the "wife" was in on it the whole time, you haven't seen enough films yet.

Oops.

Spoiler.

:)

Final Grade: F

What If Robocop and Short Circuit Had A Baby? "Chappie"

Chappie (2015)

Rated R

Starring Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver

Written and Directed by Neil Blomkamp

The Story:

Deon Wilson (Patel) takes a destroyed peace-keeping robot and imbues it with personality. Enter Chappie (Copley) who is like a child and has to be taught everything. The problem, he's taught some bad things by some questionable people. But in that machine somewhere is some heart, which is more than can be said for contractor Vincent Moore (Jackman) who wants to take his version of the the robot peacekeeper to the streets, no matter the cost.

Seriously.

I swear, the title of my review had to be Blomkamp's pitch to the studios.

Or at least some hybrid Robocop/Short Circuit mashup.

If you don't see similarities, it's because you haven't seen either of the other movies.

Both of which were made in the 80s, and made way better, both in terms of acting, directing, writing, and very likely, special effects.

This is another 2 hour (2 HOUR!) Blomkamp snoozer that is long on boredom and short on everything else.

When I stack this with Elysium which I was generous with my C- review, and the never-reviewed because I fell asleep trying to watch District 9...

Well, I have no faith in him as a writer or director anymore.

So the next time I see his name on a project, I will likely leave it out of, or put at the bottom of my queue to be watched when I've seen everything else ever made.

By the time the movie even got remotely exciting, it was the last part of the movie as Jackman was firing up his E.D. 209

I kid you not.

Way too little, much too late. And embarrassingly derivative.

If he was hoping to match the charming success of Real Steel, he misjudged badly.

Final Grade: D+

Everything You Thought You Knew Was A Lie... "Maleficent"

Maleficent (2014)

PG

Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley

Directed by Robert Stromberg

The Story:

Maleficent (Jolie) is a fairy from the land of monsters, nymphs and all the cool myths and legends. Stephan (Copley) is the young man who woos her and may be able to bridge the worlds of man and myths. However, when he spurns her love and commits the ultimate betrayal, Maleficent is devastated. One day, Stefan has remarried and  has a daughter, Aurora (Fanning). Maleficent puts a curse on the babe that one day she will prick her finger on a spindle...
You know how it's supposed to end.

This tale offers up Maleficent's side of the story, and by the end of the story, perhaps she's not as evil as we were led to believe.

I totally expected to hate this movie.

Turn it off midway through, walk out on it, roll my eyes and ignore it while surfing Facebook... all of the above.

But no...

I stayed, glued to the screen, impressed with the story that was unfolding before me.

Maleficent is given a great back story that invites us in, and slowly we forget all about the Disney adaptation that we all grew up on.

Which considering this movie is from Disney, I guess the retcon is allowable. :)

This is the first of many Disney live-action remakes.

What originally seemed like a pathetic cash-grab, now seems like it could be the start of something impressive.

I will tread forward with optimism, but so far, so good!

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I wouldn't mind watching or owning this one in the future.