First, thanks to my 2nd oldest for crafting today's image. She rocks!
Now, on with the countdown.
Another year has come and gone, and I've racked up my share of bad movies.
Amusingly, the 17 movies or TV shows that I raked across the coals are almost always my most read reviews.
Apparently you all like to feel my pain.
:)
So a quick reminder on how I make my choices:
I want to be entertained.
That's it, that's all.
I normally give all movies 20 minutes to woo me, but there are some occasions where I have to hit the eject.
However, most of those are low/no budget films that are trying to appeal to some demographic that clearly isn't me.
And since they have no budget, they really aren't going to be mentioned more than once on my site.
No, instead I want to celebrate the big duds that we all heard about, and maybe were excited to go see in a theater or at least at home.
And then you watch it unfold, and it can either be a trainwreck of epic proportions that you can't believe saw the light of day and cannot turn away, or so bad it's got to come out immediately.
So walk with me down memory lane and take a look at the Worst of the Worst that I endured between Thanksgiving 2014 and Thanksgiving 2015.
Honorable Mention:
Mr. Peabody & Sherman - No, not the movie, the dreadfully unfunny and ugly animated streamer on Netflix. Luckily, I normally countdown just the big budget films, so this one is safe. But boy, was it bad...
Now, on to the films:
6) Fury - Originally given a C-, I had a "what was I thinking moment" and downgraded it further. I'm not sure what's worse, a bad war movie, or a boring war movie. I'll pick boring. Because bad, you can write that off as "well, they tried." But boring? A war movie should never be boring. Sure, you can have quiet moments in the film, but with a cast like this, I want to feel for the characters. I want to feel bad when they get picked off, instead of rooting for them to die so the end of the movie can get here that much sooner.
5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - What a spectacular mess. Some of my kids actually enjoyed this one for what it is, but I just couldn't wrap my head around this one. That there will be a sequel...ugh... But big, muscle bound steroid turtles just aren't my vision of what the turtles could, and should be. They weren't that funny, the voice acting left a lot to be desired, and it had Megan Fox. How many franchises can one woman ruin?
4) A Million Ways To Die In The West - I simply have to realize that Seth MacFarlane's over the top crude humor is just not my cup of tea. A little goes a very long way in my book. A 30 second gag is one thing, but 90 minutes of it is just a bit much. Were there funny parts? Sure. Again, he's got a great sense of humor, he just dials it past 11, and after a while, that one trick pony isn't as funny as it used to be. Most people I know loved this one. I'm happy for you.
3) Into The Woods - When I don't like a musical, you know you're doing it wrong. And this one hit it wrong almost from the word go. The musical numbers aren't catchy and you don't walk out of the movie humming or whistling their melody. Like the film, they are forgettable. Except Johnny Depp's number, which is just nothing short of creepy. You have to take a shower after watching that scene. If I gave out an award for worst actor, Depp would win, because this isn't his only turn on the list.
2) Chappie - I had high hopes. They were repeatedly dashed to bits as this movie wore on (and on...) Overlong. Over-stupid. They put RoboCop and Short Circuit in a blender, and sucked all the fun and heart from both of those movies and gave us this instead. Hugh Jackman tries his best to save the film from being anything short of boring, but it comes way too late in the movie to redeem this sucker.
And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for:
1) Mortdecai - The only film on this list that I simply could not endure another minute of. If it got better after the first 15 minutes, please don't tell me. Let me forget that I even tried to make it through this film. A waste of talent, and all involved should be ashamed of themselves. The set back the world of cinema at least 20 years. Unfunny from the start, and Johnny Depp is becoming one of my least favorite actors of all time by churning out dull and lifeless performances. All the hate that people direct towards Tom Cruise? You're looking the wrong way people, at least Cruise puts out decent films, regardless of how you feel about his acting chops. The best thing he's done since the cameo in 21 Jump Street, I had to search all the way back to Chocolat (2000) to find a movie he's starred in that I've enjoyed. Not a great track record.
So there you have it. The worst films of 2015.
Here's to another great year of movies, which will undoubtedly have a few clunkers.
I hope to see you all back here next year to revisit those.
The countdown begins...now!
