"Happy Death Day" To You!

Happy Death Day (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, Ruby Modine, Charles Aitken,

Directed by Christopher Landon

The Story:

Tree (Rothe) wakes up in Carter's (Broussard) dorm room. She partied way too hard the night before. Not the most illustrious way to start out her birthday, but by the end of the night, she faces the prospect of dying at the hands of a mysterious murderer! Once she has been killed, she wakes up, and relives the day over and over again. Can Tree solve her own murder and possibly end the time loop she's stuck in?

It's always good to find a "Best of the Year" candidate in January.

I absolutely loved this movie, from start to finish.

I even watched the alternate ending on YouTube and didn't hate it nearly as much as the test audiences did. : )

But anyway, Christopher Landon helms his next great horror comedy (The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse) and it is a lot of fun.

Red herrings galore as their is an infinite number of suspects that crop up as Tree goes through her day, then eventually tries to track down  her murderer.

There's a lot of fun and humor in each of her situations as she tries to avoid being killed, then as she eliminates suspects, has to endure another day.

Sure, it sounds like Groundhog Day, but that's because if you're going to have a plot where you relive a day over and over again, that comparison is always going to be made. The point is, can you make one that is enjoyable for the audience, because the formula works, as long as you don't deliver a snoozer of a film.

Rothe is fantastic as Tree. She's really quite unlikable when we first meet her, then as her days repeat, she wins the audience over as she both becomes a better person and we endure the mystery of trying to find her killer at the same time.

So, enjoy the spot at the top of the list for now; Marvel Studios is sending 3 definite contenders, but I'm pretty sure this one will still end up on the Top 10 list by the end of the year.

To be even more fair to the film, I want out and bought a copy of it over the weekend.

Plus, the rest of the family that has seen it, they all loved it as well.

Can't ask for much more than that from any film!

Not sure how they'll work with the inevitable sequel, but if it's half this good, it's going to be a lot of fun.

Final Grade:  A- 

Speaking Of Franchises That Won't Die..."Transformers: The Last Knight"

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Santiago Cabrera

Directed by Michael Bay

The Story:

Optimus Prime has left the Earth. Any remaining Transformers are hunted. That doesn't stop Cade (Wahlberg) from attempting to save those he can find. However, when clues from the days of King Arthur point to the only salvation the Earth might have to save itself from destruction from Cybertron...

Yeah, it sounds silly.

This whole franchise has been fairly silly since day one.

Now celebrating a decade of cinematic box office dominance, the Transformers are beginning to slow down at the box office.

This was reviled as one of the worst films of last year, but it's no more or less unwatchable than any of the sequels that came before it, or the original for that matter.

Michael Bay does what he does best, and that's blow stuff up.

Thankfully through the years, he's making the scenes a lot less dark, so the action is easier to see and follow as a whole.

Think about this as well:

This was the 3rd movie about King Arthur to appear in cinemas in 2017.

It was also the best of the 3.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I also firmly fall into the camp that prefers the Transformers with Wahlberg over Shia LaBeouf.

Not sure if there will be any more in the franchise, but apparently Bumblebee is going to get his own movie, starring alongside John Cena.

My prediction: That will be the best one yet! :)

Final Grade: C

Create And Destroy A Universe All In One Movie..."The Mummy"

The Mummy (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella, Jake Johnson

Directed by Alex Kurtzman

The Story:

An ancient evil is uncovered during the war. It claims the life of Nick (Cruise) and Veil (Johnson) before giving them the power to return from the dead. Meanwhile Dr. Henry Jekyll (Crowe) is convinced that Nick could be just the research experiment he needs.

Let's put the cart before the horse and see what happens!

Instead of rolling out the latest relaunch of the Universal Monsters, Universal decided that like Marvel, but really, more like DC, they wanted to have their own cinematic universe.

Imagine the possibilities with Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man and all the rest sharing screen time once again.

Except...

The film isn't really that good.

Don't get me wrong, it's not bad nor is it unwatchable.

But...

Forgetting the 30s and 40s Universal Monster movies...

This makes Brendan Fraser's turn with The Mummy franchise nearly 20 years ago, look like Indiana Jones.

And please, don't take that as any sign that Fraser's Mummy was terrible. I loved it then, after watching this version, I love it even more!!

No, this was like Universal was excited to get Cruise as their leading man.

However, Cruise wanted to make another Mission Impossible movie.

Which probably made Universal see all kinds of dollar signs, except the execution was poor.

Instead, they shoehorn in a Dr. Jekyll story, instead of making that the standalone beginning to the universe, so that when he shows up, briefly at the end, it would be more like Nick Fury assembling the Avengers.

Versus DC just shoving all the characters in your face at once, and saying don't you just love what we've done?

Clearly, audiences just didn't gel with this attempt, and Universal has since shelved pretty much everything else they had lined up to follow.

That's a shame, really.

Not that they are abandoning the "Dark Universe", but that they are going to let these properties sit in mothballs.

As the low-budget horror films have proven time and again, and even the bigger budgeted It, audiences still love a good scare, as long as you craft a halfway decent thrill-ride to entertain us with.

Try again.

Don't worry about a big star, it's the name on the franchise that will get us through the door.

Final Grade:  C-

Yo Ho Ho..."Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales"

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario,

Directed by Joachim Ronning

The Story:

It's the latest adventure of Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) running from all manner of cursed pirates as he seeks the elusive Trident of Poseidon. New faces and some returning characters make this the most star-studded chapter yet.

As we enter the 5th chapter of the franchise, I really couldn't tell you what has happened in any of the 4 that have come before it.

After this one ended, I really couldn't tell you much about it either.

And that has been my impression of the Pirates franchise since its inception.

Gorgeous locations and special effects.

Some of the best looking pirates/ghost effects you can hope for.

Meanwhile, Johnny Depp running around like a drunken Keith Richards just having a good time.

Yeah, that really does sum everything up.

If you've seen the first four, you're not going to be disappointed.

I wouldn't say the franchise is getting any better, nor is it really getting any worse.

They're toeing the line, and introducing some new blood that may take center stage if/when the franchise chugs ahead.

I assume they'll make these as long as Depp is willing/able to do so.

Considering they make a ton of money, and his other movies usually crash on arrival, I'd say we're good for at least another 4 or 5 of these.

If you missed it the first go round, it's now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

"Mother!" May I Turn This Off?

Mother! (2017)

Rated R

Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer,

Written and Directed by Darren Aronofsky

The Story:

A writer (Bardem) and his wife (Lawrence) live alone in an old house that is painstakingly being restored in a beautiful field. One night a stranger (Harris) arrives at the doorstep. A huge fan, the two converse through the night, and then the stranger's wife (Pfeiffer) shows up. Chaos ensues as the house and their life plunge into chaos. The worse things get for them, the more inspired He becomes to write his next work.

And if you have 2 hours of your life you're willing to part with for this painful allegory to The Bible, you can subject yourself to Darren Aronofsky's latest Hollywood offering.

It would be less painful to ask 30 people to slap you across the face with an oversized King James Version of The Bible.

Bad.

Bad all around.

Any movie where a character watches paint dry, well, that joke just writes itself...

Horrible writing, an impressive ensemble cast that just makes you cringe with every scene you are subjected to.

A running time that feels 3x longer than it really is.

Perhaps the single most painful movie I've watched from beginning to end in my entire life.

I was tempted to eject the film, but for 2018, I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler movie critic, and give it a chance to redeem itself past the 20 minute mark.

Boy, am I stupid.

:)

It will have other movies join it on the Worst Movies of 2018 list, but I can't see any movie overtaking it as THE Worst movie I'm going to see.

Avoid at all costs.

Final Grade: F-

The Future Is Now..."The Circle"

The Circle (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, Ellar Coltrane, Glenne Headley, Bill Paxton, Karen Gillan, John Boyega

Directed by James Ponsoldt

The Story:

Mae (Watson) lands a job at The Circle. As she quickly moves up the ranks of employees, her life and importance to the company rapidly changes in ways she could never dream. As her company prepares to unveil their latest technological marvel, Mae has to make a decision that could alter humanity...forever!

Imagine a world where everyone is addicted to technology...

Oh, wait...

Imagine a world where giant technology firms seemingly invade the private lives of their users and employees...

Oh, wait...

So you see, this isn't so much a futuristic thriller as it is a mashup of life as we already know it.

It's both a movie that was a warning to deliver to the audience about these tech giants, but they meander and present the message in such a way that you almost don't care about it, or any of the characters by the time they get around to doing it.

Hanks is charming, with a touch of sinister in the Jobs-like role of Bailey, The Circle's founder.

Yet while watching this film, I realized further that I'll never "get" the appeal of Emma Watson as an actress.

I'm sure that giant cry of blasphemy is from all the Harry Potter fans out there, but with the knowledge that I have not, nor will I likely ever see those movies either, you'll never win me over with that argument.

She just always seems so wooden, or fake to me in all of the roles I have seen her in, I will follow her career with indifference at this point.

The movie is watchable enough, but could have used some serious editing to reduce the run-time from the nearly two hours to a more crisp and effective 90 minutes.

Pick up the pace, trim a lot of the unnecessary subplots that really go nowhere, and you might have had something.

Instead, go find The Truman Show, Nerve,  or any of the other films that have used the "we're watching you" again, and enjoy a much better movie.

Final Grade: C-

The Critics Aren't That "Bright" After All

Bright (2017)

TV-MA

Starring Will Smith, Joel Edgerton, Noomi Rapace, Edgar Ramirez, Lucy Fry

Directed by David Ayer

The Story:

In a world where humans live side by side with the creatures of fairytale legend, Daryl (Smith) is an LAPD cop who is saddled with the first Orc recruit, Nick (Edgerton). When the pair stumble upon Leilah (Rapace) and her magic wand, they must put their differences aside once and for all if they hope to survive the night and all of the different groups that are coming for them to get that wand.

I'm not sure if the critics want to savage this movie because they don't like the inroads that Netflix is making by releasing movies directly onto Netflix and bypassing the movie theater with their Netflix Original movies, but this was hardly the worst movie of 2017, or any year for that matter.

It's Netflix's first true "big budget blockbuster" or "popcorn movie". Is it a great movie?

No, I don't think anyone will put it into that movie.

Is it totally watchable?

Absolutely.

It checks off all the marks for a big budget buddy cop action flick. The two cops that don't get along, but then get along just fine when the chips are down and they realize they only have themselves to rely on if they are going to survive.

It also serves an underlying message on racism in America, without trying to get too preachy and letting the action carry the movie.

I've read that many critics felt that the storyline was too confusing and people couldn't follow along with all of the backstory.

What?

I'm pretty sure that those opening billboards that show that this is a world where we coexist with the Lord of the Rings was pretty straightforward, if you ask me.

Guesstimates put those of us that watched Bright during the opening weekend at 11 million Netflix users. As there are no box office receipts to gauge whether this was a success or a mega flop, I'll do the math:

11 million times $ 8.00 a ticket (averaging a matinee and a full ticket price) puts the weekend box office for this film at $88,000,000.

Yeah, that pretty much justifies any price Netflix spent on the film, and shows why they already said yes to a sequel.

Trust me, I've seen a bad Will Smith movie (After Earth).

This isn't even close.

Final Grade: C+

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad..."The Dark Tower"

The Dark Tower (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Tom Taylor, Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughy

Directed by Nikolaj Arcel

The Story:

Jake (Taylor) is having mysterious visions about a Gunslinger (Elba) and a Man in Black (McConaughy). Apparently the dark tower that holds the entire universe together is under attack, and unless the gunslinger defeats the bad guy, the world as we know it will end.

Since the dawn of time, there have been good Stephen King adaptations, and there have been bad Stephen King adaptations.

I suppose there is also a third category: indifferent adaptations.

I'm not the best judge in the world to decide which movie falls into which category because:

1) I have not seen every Stephen King movie adaptation.
2) I have only read a handful of Stephen King novels to compare them to.

However, when the movies are good: Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, they often become cinematic treasures, adored for generations.

When they aren't...

And 2017 seemed to be the year for The Return of the (Stephen) King.

IT was a huge financial and critical hit, along with the Netflix Original adaptation of Gerald's Game.

But come on, you saw the trailers for this movie.

Did it ever really look like anything more than what was offered?

And what was offered, didn't look that spectacular to begin with.

8 novels, compressed into 90 minutes, that felt like over 3 hours of endurance waiting for something, anything of importance to happen.

I'm sure someone out there might have been a fan of this one, but I sure wasn't.

Final Grade: D

You Really Should Take This "Shot In The Dark"

Shot In the Dark (2017)

TV-MA

The Story:

3 rival groups of stringers scour the streets of California after hours looking for sensational stories to sell to the local news stations in time for the morning news.

It's a cut throat business, but hey, it's a living.

Reminiscent of the fairly creepy movie, Nightcrawler, from a few years back, this tale of three competing news crews looking for the story of the night is riveting, right from the onset.

If it bleeds, it leads...

Everyone's heard that, and these are the people out there putting their life in danger to get the shots to the news stations in time to enjoy with your morning coffee.

In California, it's an ultra-competitive business and not only do you have to get the shot, you have to get it first, get it best, and get it sold before the other guy can strike.

These journalists, if you will, also have to be story teller, cameraman and editor, often all at the same time and from the comfort of the front seat of their car.

The rivalries between the 3 companies are real, but in a sense they all drive each other to put out the best product possible.

There are certain things they do along the way that will make you realize what a cutthroat business they truly compete in.

As with all good reality shows, there's a character I felt was the villain, and much like Dave from Storage Wars, you can both respect but dislike him at the same time. I'll let you decide who you think the villain is for yourself though.

Finally, the climactic cliffhanger for episode one, well if it doesn't shock you and make you click the button to get to the 2nd episode, then no, this isn't your show.

:)

This Netflix Original has 8 episodes between 35-41 minutes or so in length. Easy to binge the complete series in one sitting. I tried to take it no more than 2 episodes at a time to let the series build over a few days.

And the setup for a second season?

Oh yeah, I'm dying to know what happen(s/ed) next!

Final Grade: A-

Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You "Stronger"

Stronger (2017)

Rated R

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Maslany, Miranda Richardson,

Directed by David Gordon Green

The Story:

In 2013, terrorists set off explosive devices at the Boston Marathon. One of those survivors, Jeff Bauman (Gyllenhaal) was there to cheer on his on-again/off-again girlfriend, Erin (Maslany). His courage and strength became a huge part of the #BostonStrong movement. Here is his story, warts and all.

I've been down this road before with 'based on true stories' before.

You want to like it, and you feel bad when you don't, because this was somebody's real-life story, not a character brought to life by the imagination of a screenwriter.

I would say if you wanted to watch a movie about the Boston Marathon bombing, go watch the far superior Patriots Day.

The biggest issue I had with this movie was Jeff Bauman himself.

He's an ass, pure and simple.

Sure, you feel bad for the guy and the situation that he's been put into, but he really wasn't that likable before the accident, and afterwards, he becomes nearly insufferable.

To his credit, Gyllenhaal comes across exactly as that.

You feel for the guy, then the next minute, you wouldn't mind punching him in the face.

Then there is Erin, the long-suffering girlfriend of the guy that wouldn't be there for her, then the one time he does something nice for her, this happens. How's that for a guilt trip, and she feels obliged to literally put her entire life on hold to be there for Jeff.

Do they really love each other?

Hard to say, but the implication is that they are simply bound together by fate, and actual feelings take a backseat in Boston.

Final Grade: C

Second Verse...Same As The First! "John Wick: Chapter 2"

John Wick Chapter 2 (2017)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Ian McShane, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ruby Rose

Directed by  Chad Stahelski

The Story:

With John Wick un-retired to cash in a marker that comes due... lots of people die. Lots of people also attempt to kill John Wick. Still more people die.

Wanna guess what happens in Chapter 3?

Keanu Reeves returns as John Wick, the hitman that just can't be killed.

He can get beat up, shot, stabbed, run over...

But not killed.

In some ways, he's like the Hulk... the more beat up Wick gets, the angrier he gets.

The body count is high, the action pieces are insane.

If you enjoyed the first one, I'm pretty sure you're going to love the second installment.

Plus, the set up the 3rd pretty much ensures that John Wick will return and kill just about everyone.

Again.

:)

Final Grade: B-