The Weather Outside Is Frightful..."Geostorm"

Geostorm (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Gerard Butler, Max Sturgess, Eugenio Derbez, Andy Garcia, Ed Harris, Abbie Cornish,

Directed by Dean Devlin

The Story:

To battle climate change, the governments of the world create the Dutch Boy program. This series of satellites counteracts severe weather and keeps the Earth peaceful and stable. Until now. Suddenly the satellites are apparently causing severe weather and attacking major cities across the globe. It's up to the original project manager, Jake Lawson (Butler) to head into space and find out what's going wrong.

Oh Dean Devlin, how we've missed you!

These epic disaster movies with just enough tongue in cheek are always a blast to check your brain at the door, grab the popcorn and have a rollicking good time.

Here, Butler takes center stage and battles to find out if his programming has gone haywire or if there is a traitor in space trying to sabotage his best work.

There is political intrigue and corruption.

There is space sabotage and a series of red herrings to throw you off of who is behind the madness.

But at the end of the day, this movie isn't nearly as bad as it was made out to be.

It was fun, completely watchable, and yes, I'd even watch it again or heaven forbid even buy it if the price was right.

:)

Your mileage may vary.

Final Grade:  C+

"Mother!" May I Turn This Off?

Mother! (2017)

Rated R

Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer,

Written and Directed by Darren Aronofsky

The Story:

A writer (Bardem) and his wife (Lawrence) live alone in an old house that is painstakingly being restored in a beautiful field. One night a stranger (Harris) arrives at the doorstep. A huge fan, the two converse through the night, and then the stranger's wife (Pfeiffer) shows up. Chaos ensues as the house and their life plunge into chaos. The worse things get for them, the more inspired He becomes to write his next work.

And if you have 2 hours of your life you're willing to part with for this painful allegory to The Bible, you can subject yourself to Darren Aronofsky's latest Hollywood offering.

It would be less painful to ask 30 people to slap you across the face with an oversized King James Version of The Bible.

Bad.

Bad all around.

Any movie where a character watches paint dry, well, that joke just writes itself...

Horrible writing, an impressive ensemble cast that just makes you cringe with every scene you are subjected to.

A running time that feels 3x longer than it really is.

Perhaps the single most painful movie I've watched from beginning to end in my entire life.

I was tempted to eject the film, but for 2018, I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler movie critic, and give it a chance to redeem itself past the 20 minute mark.

Boy, am I stupid.

:)

It will have other movies join it on the Worst Movies of 2018 list, but I can't see any movie overtaking it as THE Worst movie I'm going to see.

Avoid at all costs.

Final Grade: F-

"Run All Night" Feels Awfully Familiar

Run All Night (2015)

Rated R

Starring Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, Joel Kinnaman, Boyd Holbrook, Vincent D'Onofrio

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

The Story:

Jimmy Conlon (Neeson) has a choice to make tonight. His son, Mike (Kinnaman) was about to be killed by Danny Maguire (Holbrook) so Conlon shot him and killed him. The problem? Maguire's dad, Shawn (Harris) is the mob boss that Jimmy works for. Shawn is now going to kill Mike first, and then Jimmy unless Jimmy can save them both and kill all of Maguire's men, and possibly Maguire himself, first.

It's going to be a long night!

And at almost 2 hours, it really is quite a long night.

The latest in the string of get Liam Neeson to play his Taken role and shoot the bad guys while escaping.

This one falls squarely between Non-Stop and A Walk Among the Tombstone, and behind Taken.

The movie crackles with Neeson or Harris, sadly the two barely share any screen time together, and again, after 90 minutes of watching Neeson dispatch anyone and everyone, the movie plays like a deja vu film reel versus something new and exciting.

Even D'Onofrio is mostly wasted as the cop who wants to arrest Jimmy, and has been trying for years but can never pin anything on him. He spends what little screen time he has 5 steps behind the action.

Pity.

 Final Grade: C- range.

Nuke On The Loose! "Phantom"

Phantom (2013)

Rated R

Starring Ed Harris, William Fichtner, David Duchovny

Written and Directed by Todd Robinson

The Story:

Demi (Harris) is a Soviet Submarine Captain set to retire. He is given one last mission with most of his crew including his first mate, Alex (Fichtner). Other crew are brought in to take this submarine to be decommissioned including the mysterious Bruni (Duchovny).  However, when rogue KGB agents take over the submarine to steal the nuclear payload, the Soviet and American Navy close in to find this boat before World War III is started.

Naturally, this is based on a true story!

First, this is no Red October.

However, it's not too bad.

Harris plays a tortured soul who is suffering through seizures, but still expertly commands the ship even under the most dire circumstances.

Fitchtner is a wonderful supporting actor who plays the 2nd in command perfectly. Naturally, his loyalty will be called into question when the ship is seized.

The true story that it is based on apparently has been classified for the better part of 50 years.

However, knowing how close the Cuban Missile Crisis was to starting World War III, imagine the stress that a rogue nuclear submarine would have been if it had become common knowledge?
 
Now available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was sufficient for this one.

"The Firm" Encourages You To Ignore This Movie

The Firm (1993)

Rated R

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman, Hal Holbrook, Wilford Brimley, Ed Harris,

Directed by Sydney Pollack

The Story:

Mitch McDeere (Cruise) is a hotshot law school graduate who has his pick of law firms.  When a small firm in Memphis comes calling, they make him an offer that he literally can't refuse. As Mitch gets deeper and deeper into the law firm, he discovers some secrets that put his life in jeopardy. Mitch enters a desperate gambit to break free of their clutches and avoid going to prison himself.

I forgot how much I really enjoy this film.

Probably my favorite John Grisham adaptation, Cruise is at the top of his game as the smartest lawyer in school who moves on to be a great lawyer in his own right.

Littered with an all-star cast, every player in the film adds their own layer of intrigue to the film.

The intrigue and paranoia ratchet up a notch as each minute passes.

The movie is long, nearly 2 1/2 hours, but it never feels like it.

Ready for a great legal thriller, look no further.

It still holds up really well for being over 20 years old.


Available to stream on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I already own it, but it had been over a decade since I last watched it. Still holds up.

You Will Appreciate The "Gravity" Of Their Situation

Gravity (2013)

Rated PG-13 for language and space peril

Starring Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, Ed Harris

Directed and written by Alfonso Cuaron

The Story:

Dr. Ryan Stone (Bullock) is on her first shuttle mission.  Teamed with veteran mission commander Matt Kowalsky (Clooney) everything is going fine until they are warned by Mission Control (Harris) that there is debris heading towards the shuttle and they need to abort their mission and get clear of the debris.  Before they can, the debris tears through their area, killing everyone except Stone and Kowalsky.  Adrift and alone, can the two survive in outer space and find a way to get back home?

Well, yes and no.

This is a pretty good little dramatic thriller.

The movie is pretty much all Sandra Bullock's and she does admirably as the astronaut who is in over her head.

Saved by her commander, she has one shot at getting home alive, but it's going to be a very perilous journey.

Think Apollo 13, but not real life, and much fewer actors.

Clooney's role is much smaller than you would imagine, but he does a great job with playing George Clooney.

:)

Beautifully shot, I have no problem with this film winning the Best Director award at the Oscars.

Otherwise, it's an engaging 90 minutes worthy of your time.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again in the future, but no need to own it, and no hurry to rewatch.  Maybe in a few years.

Living In The Wild Wild West Weekend..."Sweetwater"

Sweetwater (2013)

Rated R for violence, language and nudity

Starring January Jones, Jason Isaacs, Ed Harris

Directed by Logan Miller

The Story:

Sarah (Jones) is a former prostitute who has given up that life for married life on a farm in New Mexico.  However her neighbor, the Prophet Josiah (Isaacs) is a little off his rocker, and when he kills Sarah's husband, she plots to exact vengeance.  Complicating matters, there's a new sheriff (Harris) in town, and it's unclear how his investigation will help or hinder Sarah's plan.

Interesting.

It's nice to see a western on the screen again.

Isaacs plays a bad guy, like nobody's business.  I hadn't seen him in anything in a long time, and I forgot how great of an actor  he is.  Apparently he's been hanging out making Harry Potter movies, so no wonder I haven't seen him.

:)

But yes, he is equally mesmerizing and evil at the same time throughout the movie.

Ed Harris on the other hand...

Well, he does a great job playing an Old West lawman.  And then the script has the sheriff do odd things... like dance around in the desert...  Kind of odd behavior.

Otherwise, no real complaints about anything.

Wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. ;)

And apparently, as of this week, it's now streaming on Netflix for your viewing pleasure.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Had the rating been lower, replayability might be higher.

It's Time To Pump...You Up! "Pain and Gain"

Truth is stranger than fiction.

And way more coked up!

The Story:

Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) is a fitness trainer at a local gym in Florida.  He's tired of getting nowhere in search of the American dream, so he has a plan:  Steal it from a rich jerk, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub).  So he enlists his best friend Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and they bring in some even bigger muscle in ex-con Paul (Dwayne Johnson) to pull off their heist.  Things don't go so well, but eventually they begin to bleed Victor dry of all of his assets.  Then things begin to go from bad to worse for the trio...

Sure, some of the events are exaggerated for the big screen, but basically, this is a true story unfolding before your eyes.

It's unbelievable in the ineptitude of our trio, and also the sheer willpower of Victor to not get killed!  Insane...

I must mention that it's a film directed by Michael Bay, which should immediately make many people roll their eyes and groan.

Not this guy, I've got no problem with the majority of his films.  They're perfect popcorn films.

The hard part of this film is that it is based on a true story.  It's hard to root for either side because one side is doing illegal things and the other is a jerk.  But you feel bad rooting against either, because they do a good job playing their roles.

The guy deserves to have his money stolen... and they deserve to go to jail.

Hard to have a rooting interest when your own film divides the feelings of the audience.

Of the cast, The Rock easily steals the picture as the larger than life coke head.  He's funny and he delivers the best lines throughout the film. 

Also not mentioned is the always great Ed Harris as the private detective who helps bring the trio to justice.  Nice to see him playing a good guy again, as he's been wearing the black hat too often lately.

Crazy story you have to see to believe.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range.  Good but not great.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I'd probably have to pass on owning it, and I'm not sure I'd sit through it again.  Once was good.  Maybe after a few years have passed?

The First Time Eastwood Tackled a President and an Empty Chair..."Absolute Power"

Absolute power corrupts absolutely...

The Story:

Luther Whitney (Clint Eastwood, a master thief who is allegedly retired, breaks into a multi-billionaire's home to rob his vault.  His quest for cash is interrupted by a nocturnal visit from the President of the United States (Gene Hackman) and the billionaire's wife. Their drunken affair turns deadly, and Luther witnesses her murder at the hands of the Secret Service (Scott Glenn, Dennis Haysbert).  He escapes, and avoids the Secret Service for a time, while also keeping the police detectives (Ed Harris) at bay.  Luther is ready to leave the country, until the Secret Service start targeting his daughter (Laura Linney).  Now it's personal...

I really enjoyed this one, and hadn't seen it in ages.

Eastwood was crackling in 1997 (!!!!) as both writer and director.

The movie clips along at a great pace, never too slow...never too fast to keep you riveted to the action and wondering what will happen next.

Eastwood surrounded himself with great actors from top to bottom, and they are allowed to develop given their limited screen time in a movie that begs to be told from many different angles.

It all works out in the end as you realize there is really nothing that the White House couldn't cover up if it absolutely had to.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I haven't bought it yet, but it was a nice film to see again after 15 years or so.  Perhaps if I get the Eastwood collection someday?

I Might As Well... Jump! "Man on a Ledge"

I am...an innocent man...

The story of a man inspired by a Billy Joel lyric...

The Story:

Nick (Sam Worthington) is a cop who was falsely accused, or so he claims, of stealing a diamond from a ruthless businessman (Ed Harris).  On the run, he brings to fruition a scheme with his little brother (Jamie Bell) to steal the diamond...for the first time... to prove that Nick is innocent.  To do this, Nick stands on a ledge of a hotel and threatens to jump.  This very public display is going to be Nick's second trial, and he's going to prove he's innocent... or die trying!

I will be honest, I loved this movie the second I saw the trailer.

When I finally saw the movie, it was just as good, if not better, than the trailer had promised.

So for those that say Hollywood never comes up with anything new, this was pretty new to me.

Or at least, it wasn't a sequel, wasn't a toy/comic franchise, wasn't a remake... so that's pretty new in my book.

Ed Harris is gleefully slimey as the bad guy.  In his career, he's played both sides of the law, but I think he relishes the turns when he's not wearing the white hat more often than not.

I am a fan of Sam Worthington, at least in making Clash and Wrath of the Titans watchable fun.  Count me as one of the 17 people on Earth to have not seen, nor really have any interest in seeing Avatar, and there you have it.

Also, well done to Elizabeth Banks who holds her own as a police negotiator who is in a deep downward spiral, but Nick feels he can trust her more than any other policeman on the force and insists she is brought in for the job.

Count me as a fan of this movie.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Potential: Extremely rewatchable, in fact I just watched it within the last week, thus the review.  And yes, I own it.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time...That I Own. # 51 ~ The Rock

Well, we know that the list was already perfected by the appearance of Nicolas Cage.

So apparently, it is now two times as perfect as it could have been, because Cage strikes again!

However, this movie lands on the countdown on the strength of Sean Connery's performance.

The 90s basically saw Connery wind down his acting career, but he went out with a bang, giving us The Rock and Entrapment (and Finding Forrester) before hanging up his accent.

I debated over which movie would make it, and in the end, the over-the-top action of The Rock beat out Catherine Zeta-Jones sliding under lasers...but only barely. : )

The addition of the always stellar Ed Harris as a misguided Marine also helped  push this movie onto the list with the pure starpower (and firepower!) from the assembled actors.

For those that haven't enjoyed this Michael Bay action-fest, the story in a nutshell:

Some Marines take over Alcatraz and threaten to launch the ever-deadly V-X rockets onto the Bay Area.  Naturally, the government doesn't think that's a very good idea,  so they send in one of their best agents (Cage) along with a former British Spy (Connery) who was the only man to successfully escape from...

The Rock!

Mayhem ensues.

Glorious mayhem!

As only Michael Bay can deliver.

And yes, you can mark me as a Michael Bay fan.

His first three movies (Bad Boys, The Rock and Armageddon) are all movies that hold up to repeated viewings, and Bad Boys made the original list, and then found itself bumped at the last second.  Armageddon was not in the running, because I can never fully get behind a movie that kills Bruce Willis.

Now if only Bay would stop directing movies about Autobots... unless they are voiced by Sean Connery!