Yo Ho Ho..."Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales"

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario,

Directed by Joachim Ronning

The Story:

It's the latest adventure of Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) running from all manner of cursed pirates as he seeks the elusive Trident of Poseidon. New faces and some returning characters make this the most star-studded chapter yet.

As we enter the 5th chapter of the franchise, I really couldn't tell you what has happened in any of the 4 that have come before it.

After this one ended, I really couldn't tell you much about it either.

And that has been my impression of the Pirates franchise since its inception.

Gorgeous locations and special effects.

Some of the best looking pirates/ghost effects you can hope for.

Meanwhile, Johnny Depp running around like a drunken Keith Richards just having a good time.

Yeah, that really does sum everything up.

If you've seen the first four, you're not going to be disappointed.

I wouldn't say the franchise is getting any better, nor is it really getting any worse.

They're toeing the line, and introducing some new blood that may take center stage if/when the franchise chugs ahead.

I assume they'll make these as long as Depp is willing/able to do so.

Considering they make a ton of money, and his other movies usually crash on arrival, I'd say we're good for at least another 4 or 5 of these.

If you missed it the first go round, it's now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

No Wonder They Stopped Worshipping The "Gods Of Egypt"

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Brenton Thwaites, Courtney Eaton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Chadwick Boseman, Gerard Butler, Bryan Brown, Rachael Blake, Geoffrey Rush,

Directed by Alex Proyas

The Story:

The story of how Set (Butler) betrayed his brother Osiris (Brown) and took over the throne of Egypt, much to Horus' (Waldau) dismay. The only one who can hope to stop Seth is a little mortal named Bek (Thwaites) who refuses to acknowledge the gods of Egypt, but will do anything to help his beloved (Eaton) return to life.

And yes, of course this is based on a true story.

Or, at least the cool myth of Osiris, Set and Horus.

Getting my background for the film, it appears that the main complaint about this film, it should have been filled with black actors instead of white actors.

Okay.

I guess.

In theory, it should have been filled with actual Egyptian actors, but this is Hollywood, and you pretty much take what you're given.

I've seen enough black actors playing white roles and women playing men's roles, etc. etc. etc...

I pretty much don't care anymore.

As long as they are a decent actor in a decent story that will hold my interest, I'm pretty easygoing on this subject.

So the question becomes really this:

Is the film any good?

The answer?

Yes, it kind of is.

Not in a Gladiator or Ben Hur or other dramatic swords and sandals epic drama.

More in the Clash of the Titans can I check my brain at the door, munch some popcorn and not be thoroughly bored for the next 90 minutes, then Gods Of Egypt succeeds.

The size differential aspect between gods and mortals is a concept that doesn't get used very often, and establishes that there is indeed something different about this Gerard Butler than other Butlers we may be used to.

It's a cheesy throwback, but with today's technology doesn't look nearly as laughable as it once did.

The action scenes are well choreographed and the plot keeps moving you along to the final battle with very little to drag things down.

It's a popcorn movie, through and through. :)

 C+

Untold Tales of World War II... "The Book Thief"

The Book Thief (2013)

Rated PG-13 for violence

Starring Sophie Nelisse, Geoffrey Rush, Emily Watson, Nico Liersch, Ben Schnetzer

Directed by Brian Percival

The Story:

Liesel (Nelisse) is a young girl being sent to live with the Hubermann family, Hans and Rosa (Rush & Watson) at a time when Nazi power is on the upswing in Germany but before World War II has been declared.  Liesel's brother dies on the trip, and she discovers her first book, "The Gravedigger's Handbook" and steals it, fascinated by what it could contain.  Hans helps to teach her to read, and so begins her love affair with books.  However, as time marches on, so too does the onset of war, and the change and heartache that comes with it.

This is an interesting, slightly odd film concerning World War II.

First, it opens with narration by Death.  Death will provide a voice over a few times during the film, and it is an odd plot device to employ in the story.  It really doesn't add much to the story, it simply provides some omniscient narration that the writer or director wanted to emphasize.

It's neither a good nor bad technique, just different. 

As for the rest of the story, it's a very quiet build as Liesel learns to adapt to her new family.  Adored by Hans, and fearful of her new mother, the movie is a slow burn as emotions and feelings change throughout the movie.

The movie, while just over 2 hours, doesn't really drag, and they do manage to compress an entire war in the running time.

It's a remarkable feat, and yes, you begin to wonder if the movie is based on a true story, but no, it's a work of fiction.

That said, there is no doubt that the events that occur in the movie very likely happened to many, many Germans during the war.

That includes the hiding of Max (Schnetzer) in their basement, and the budding romance with the neighbor boy  Rudy (Liersch) that is both sweet and tragic as the movie rolls along.

There is some power to this movie that American audiences may never fully appreciate.  While we suffered casualties on the fields of battles, the countries involved in the ground war lost casualties on all fronts and lived in constant fear.

Nobody is asking you to suddenly feel sympathetic to the Nazi Party, but you are stretched to realize that not every German in the country was a devout follower of Herr Hitler.

If you get the chance to see it, I don't think you'll feel disappointed.

Final Grade: B/B- range.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: While I could watch it again, I would have no need to own this one for the library.