Speaking Of Franchises That Won't Die..."Transformers: The Last Knight"

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Santiago Cabrera

Directed by Michael Bay

The Story:

Optimus Prime has left the Earth. Any remaining Transformers are hunted. That doesn't stop Cade (Wahlberg) from attempting to save those he can find. However, when clues from the days of King Arthur point to the only salvation the Earth might have to save itself from destruction from Cybertron...

Yeah, it sounds silly.

This whole franchise has been fairly silly since day one.

Now celebrating a decade of cinematic box office dominance, the Transformers are beginning to slow down at the box office.

This was reviled as one of the worst films of last year, but it's no more or less unwatchable than any of the sequels that came before it, or the original for that matter.

Michael Bay does what he does best, and that's blow stuff up.

Thankfully through the years, he's making the scenes a lot less dark, so the action is easier to see and follow as a whole.

Think about this as well:

This was the 3rd movie about King Arthur to appear in cinemas in 2017.

It was also the best of the 3.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I also firmly fall into the camp that prefers the Transformers with Wahlberg over Shia LaBeouf.

Not sure if there will be any more in the franchise, but apparently Bumblebee is going to get his own movie, starring alongside John Cena.

My prediction: That will be the best one yet! :)

Final Grade: C

The "Fury" Of War

Fury (2014)

Rated R

Starring Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf, Michael Pena, Logan Lerman, Jon Bernthal

Written and Directed by David Ayer

The Story:

Army Sergeant "Wardaddy" (Pitt) takes his Sherman tank and his crew deep into the heart of Nazi Germany during the end of World War II on a daring mission.  Everyone dies.

The end.

This is one of the most disappointing war films I've seen in quite some time.

It's bloody.
It's violent.
It's...

boring.

Didn't care for this one in the least.

At least Saving Private Ryan had interesting characters to care about as they were picked off one by one.

This one, you knew they were pretty much all cannon fodder early on, and they just drug it out to the end of the film.

They kill lots and lots of people along the way, but after awhile, even killing Nazis gets old.

That's a sentence that I never imagined typing.

I expected more. Or better. Or something.

Maybe next time.

Final Grade: C-

I Really Doubt "Transformers: Age of Extinction" Is The Last Film In The Franchise

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, Jack Reynor,

Directed by Michael Bay

The Story:

It's been 5 years since the Autobots and Decepticons waged war and destroyed Chicago. Now the American government has declared war and is hunting down the remaining Autobots and Decepticon survivors. When robotics tinkerer Cade Yeager (Wahlberg) discovers Optimus Prime, he revives the leader of the Autobots, and the few remaining Autobots gather to help Cade and and his family to take down the government contractors that are using Transformer technology to create their own version of Autobots for sale.  However, as is standard with all Transformers plots...

There is more to it than meets the eye.

:)

Oh come on, you know I had to do it!!

So, I've watched the 3 previous Transformer movies.  Couldn't tell you what happened in any of them except:

Shia LaBeouf whined a lot.
Megan Fox attempted to act a little.
Transformers fought, a lot, in poorly lit action sequences.

So I come back, a glutton for punishment apparently.

However, this one improved in at least 3 obvious ways:

No Shia.
No Megan.
No poorly lit action sequences.

Congratulations and welcome to the best installment of the Transformers franchise.

Granted, that's not saying a whole lot. ;)

With a bloated, nearly 3 hour running time, the movie rarely dragged, which is a good thing.

But still, at nearly 3 hours, I can watch 2 really good 90 minute films instead.

Still, had a good enough time and if there is another film, I'll check it out on DVD.

I'm a glutton for punishment, remember?

Final Grade: C+ maybe even a B- if you push me hard enough.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, once was good enough, but at least it was better than all of the previous versions before it.

"Super" May Have Been An Exaggeration This Year... "Super Bowl XLVIII"

Oh Super Bowl...

How you vex me as I write this.

I'm taking notes as the game plays, so I hope my chaotic rambling isn't too chaotic, or rambling for your taste.

My first thoughts about this matchup...

How Is This Possible?

I'm old enough to remember a time when a game between the Broncos and the Seahawks meant an AFC West slugfest.

I feel like Marty McFly... How can Denver and Seattle be in a Super Bowl against each other?

God Bless realignment...

So as we sit back and celebrate the new World Champions...of a sport played solely in North America... it's a chance when all NFL fans hope for a good game, fans of the two remaining teams trash talk a lot online, and everyone else tunes in for the commercials.

So how was it?

Are You Serious?!?

The opening snap for a Safety... ah yes, it's now all uphill, or down, depends on perspective for the Broncos.

I'm thinking if I would have been a bundle on that in Vegas, I'd be rich! ;)

The first commercial that I enjoyed airs during the first quarter.

Darn You Shawn!

This is the Turbo Tax commercial where the Super Bowl for non-fans of Denver and Seattle is compared to watching another guy take your girlfriend to prom.  Hysterical, and I love John C. Reilly's narration.

Back into the second quarter and  a Manning interception, and I'm beginning to think that Eli has suited up by mistake for the Broncos!

More commercial goodness:

Battle of the Network Stars!

Radio Shack's Goodbye to the 80s is filled with retro goodness.

Oh, and a Transformers sequel that has zero Shia LeBeouf and apparently much, much less giant robot fighting in darkness.  I might actually enjoy this installment.

15-0... I'm hoping the Broncos can do something, anything, positive at this point.

My standing rule for Super Bowls: I just want a competitive game.

Blowouts are only fun if it's your team doing the blowing out.

Oh goody... a terrible pick by Manning... and I'm reminded that I really don't want the Seahawks to win because I dislike Pete Carroll.

:)

22-0 and I'm seriously considering turning this nonsense off.

Okay, the Volkswagen commercial with German engineers getting wings is actually pretty funny.  I'll stick around a bit longer.

Birdy!

Back from commercial and... a fumble??!!

Shoot me now.

Manning is good, but he's going to need a miracle to come back from this hole.

Yay...Amazing Spider-Man 2 looks great!  Hopefully the "too many villains" doesn't crush the franchise like has happened for other super hero movies.

It's now the 2 minute warning... the Broncos are driving, if they can at least make this 22-7 at halftime, we've still got a game!

But no...

Oh, a Seinfeld mini-reunion.  That's cute, but when I realize that it's up to Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers to save the Super Bowl...

Yeah, we're in trouble!

Thought of the moment:

Where does the crowd on the field come from?  Do they buy special tickets just to come to the halftime show?  Free tickets?  Shuffle down from the stands?


I'm actually curious.

Gold Jacket Or No Jacket?

Nice to see that Kiedis and Flea dressed up for the show... ;)

Nice shout out from the troops for She's So Beautiful.

This was way better than the Black Eyed Peas show, that's for sure!


Mythbusters was pretty cool... but I'm not switching back to Comcast.

Ever.

Jerry Ricecake? Comedy gold!

The 2nd half begins....with a runback for a touchdown.

The score is now 87-0.  No, that's not a typo. ;)

I'm not sure what Coach Fox said to the Broncos at halftime, but I'm pretty sure that letting them score quick so we can get the ball back was not it.

Not even close.

And at the end of 3 Quarters, the Broncos finally scored, and I decided I had seen enough, and jumped in the car and drove back to MUSC to visit with my baby boy instead!

That was the best part of the Big Game!

:)

Congratulations to the Seahawks.

Also, Peyton's legacy is not tarnished with this loss.  He's a great quarterback, one of the best to ever play the position.

That's his legacy.

Hopefully next year's game lives up to the hype.

Or is at least competitive.

Super Bowl Final Grade: D+
Super Bowl Commercials: C-
Super Bowl Visit With My Son: A+

:)

There Were Holes In Shia LaBeouf? Actually...Yes! "Lawless"

Lawless (2012)
Rated R for Language and violence

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy, Jason Clarke, Guy Pearce, Gary Oldman
Directed by John Hillcoat


I'm actually pretty pleased that I was able to use a Pysch reference for today's title.

From there, it's all downhill folks!

:)

The Story:

The Bondurant Boys: Jack (LaBeouf), Forrest (Hardy) and Howard (Clarke) are making a living in depression/prohibition era Virginia by making and selling moonshine.  Ah, but corruption creeps in with a District Attorney and his deputy Charlie Rakes (Pearce) who collect from all the bootleggers.  The boys refuse, and this sets off an escalating war as Rakes tears the countryside apart trying to bring down the thorn in his side.

Sound exciting?

It should have been.

But I found myself pushing the fast forward button on a lot of this because it was just dragging...and dragging.

For almost 2 hours.

The actors do a fine, if unspectacularly convincing me that their story is an important one.

It was mostly a series of one Bondurant doing something stupid, then working together to fix that problem.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I Can't Believe They Shot Me!

Even Guy Pearce who normally chews up the screen as the malicious bad guy just couldn't pull me in.

Heck, Gary Oldman couldn't even do much, with likely the second most charismatic part in the movie, but very limited screen time.

Perhaps Oldman and Hardy were just happy to be collecting their Bat-checks?

Your mileage may vary, but I was bored.

The movie itself looked great though, so there's that.

:)

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not even if it was offered as a bribe...

It's Not What You Know, But Who..."The Company You Keep"

Wait, they still have newspapers?

The Story:

Back in the 70s, several Weather Underground activists robbed a bank and killed a security guard.  They disappeared and went into hiding. Over 30 years later, the first (Susan Sarandon) has attempted to come forward to clear her conscious.  A reporter (Shia LaBeouf) tackles her story and begins to peel back the layers and discovers that a local lawyer (Robert Redford) is one of her accomplices.  The dominoes begin to fall as the lawyer begins to run...

But is he running because of guilt, or innocence?

I wasn't sure what to expect when I got this one.  It's got a great cast from leads to bit parts.

Who haven't I mentioned yet?

Nick Nolte. Chris Cooper. Terrence Howard. Stanley Tucci. Richard Jenkins. Sam Elliott and many more.

Granted, the movie falls squarely on the shoulders of Redford and LaBeouf as the two carry out their two stories that weave together throughout the movie.

It was a solid action/drama/thriller.

I won't discuss much more because I don't want to ruin any of the twists and turns for anyone who hasn't  seen it and would like to.

I will say that Redford, much like Eastwood, has developed into a really great director in the latter half of his career.

The main difference, Redford doesn't get the critical acclaim like Eastwood does.

Either way, this was a pretty entertaining movie.

Feel free to give it a spin, I think you'll be pleased with your choice.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not quite as fun as Redford's Sneakers, but not bad.  I could watch it again.

The City That Never Sleeps Cures Insomnia With "New York I Love You"

 

 

In the city that never sleeps... love always abounds.

The Story:

A million stars. A half million directors.  All taking a crack at love in the Big Apple.

Zzzzz.

With no style or substance, instead it's a variety of stories taking place in New York where love is the recurring theme.  Each segment segues into the other.  Each shot in a style that the director was wanting to use, edited with their own team, so in other words, a disjointed wreck.

28 minutes in, and I was growing more and more disinterested by the minute.

Trim the number of writers (20) and directors (11) down considerably, find a focus spot, and maybe...

 

Some of the actors used: Bradley Cooper, Andy Garcia, Natalie Portman, Orlando Bloom, John Hurt, Shia LaBeouf, Hayden Christensen and a cast of 1000s.

I'm sure some out there loved the experiment.

Apparently it is the second part of a planned trilogy of films. 

Which this has saved me from seeing either of those, just on principle.

Available for streaming until the 15th of March, so you have a few days to see if I'm right or wrong.

Good luck!

Final Grade: D

Would I Own It: Not a chance.

One of the Best Movies I Don't Own.... "Holes"

This was a movie back when Shia LaBeouf was cool...  Oh wait, he's never been cool... but perhaps before everyone noticed how lame he was.

: )

The plot:

A boy is sent to a juvenile detention facility for stealing some shoes.  At the facility, the boys spend all day digging holes in the dirt.  You see, they are looking for a buried treasure that just has to be out there somewhere...


Yes, there is more to the movie than that, but to say much more would spoil it.

Based on the novel by Louis Sachar, and adapted for the screen by him, this is a movie that you've likely never seen unless you have pre-teens/teens.

That said, you're missing out on one fun movie that is tightly scripted and wonderfully acted by all involved including Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Henry Winkler and Dule Hill.

Whaaaaaaaaat?!

The story takes place both in the now, and with flashbacks to explain the buried treasure and how the characters all intersect with one another's lives.

It's an engaging tale and one I heartily recommend, especially if you've now got teens/pre-teens that weren't around 10 years ago when the movie came out.

They'll probably get a kick out of it...

And you might too!