Do Not RSVP... "Destination Wedding"

Destination Wedding (2018)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder

Written and Directed by Victor Levin

The Story:

Frank (Reeves) and Lindsay (Ryder) are two bitter, cynical people. They pretty much instantly dislike one another, and they are forced to endure a weekend together as guests at a wedding that neither wants to be at.

If you can endure the full 90 minutes of it, then you are a better person than I am.

Or you like your Romantic Comedies to be neither romantic nor comedic.

Okay, I take a little bit of that back.  Some of the lines are indeed funny, in the most biting, cynical way possible.

The problem (hard to choose just one) that I had with this movie, is that Reeves and Ryder made their characters so unlikable, I didn't want to stay with them through the entire weekend to see if they fall in love or just have anger sex midway through the film.

I can't even tell if I made it past the 20 minute mark, it felt like 2 hours of hearing these two whine, bitch, moan and complain about each other and every little thing.

The running time is only 90 minutes!

I ejected it sometime between 20 minutes and 50 minutes, I just couldn't take anymore of them.

Perhaps if there had been any redeeming qualities to either lead character?

Instead, there was... dialogue...

And not just any dialogue.

These were conversations between two characters that sounded nothing like real people talking.

Instead, it sounded like two people reading rehearsed pretentious lines and working them into a conversation that no two people would ever actually have in real life.

Too bad, but I'll place the blame for that solely at the feet of writer/diretor Levin.

I'd give it 0 stars, but I'm afraid someone might mistake this critique as a 5 star effort, and I don't want that mix-up! :)

Second Verse...Same As The First! "John Wick: Chapter 2"

John Wick Chapter 2 (2017)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Ian McShane, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ruby Rose

Directed by  Chad Stahelski

The Story:

With John Wick un-retired to cash in a marker that comes due... lots of people die. Lots of people also attempt to kill John Wick. Still more people die.

Wanna guess what happens in Chapter 3?

Keanu Reeves returns as John Wick, the hitman that just can't be killed.

He can get beat up, shot, stabbed, run over...

But not killed.

In some ways, he's like the Hulk... the more beat up Wick gets, the angrier he gets.

The body count is high, the action pieces are insane.

If you enjoyed the first one, I'm pretty sure you're going to love the second installment.

Plus, the set up the 3rd pretty much ensures that John Wick will return and kill just about everyone.

Again.

:)

Final Grade: B-

Because 'Surfing Burglars' Would've Been A Dumb Name For "Point Break"

Point Break (1991)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey, Lori Petty, John C. McGinley,

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow

The Story:

Johnny Utah (Reeves) has joined the FBI, and his first assignment, he wants a crack at the Ex-Presidents, a gang who have been robbing banks in California. He teams with burnout Pappas (Busey) who has a crazy theory that the robbers are surfers. Utah goes undercover and meets Bodhi (Swayze), a charismatic surfer who may be the mastermind behind the crime sprees. The deeper Utah gets, the more his loyalties will be questioned.

Whoa.

Obligatory Keanu joke out of the way.

How did I not see this film in 25 years?

Easy, it didn't seem like that great of a film, so I wasn't in any hurry.

Then I saw the previews for the Point Break remake, and I thought to myself, seriously?

Let's see what all the fuss is about.

2 hours later...

I still don't see what all the fuss was about.

: )

The film is an okay action flick, and it is buoyed considerably by the charisma of Swayze and Reeves.

And say what you will about Keanu's ability to act (or not act...) looking over the resumes of several actors, I'll take his output and performance over, say, Johnny Depp, any day.

Swazye also has an effortless charm onscreen, and it makes me wonder why I've also never bothered to watch Dirty Dancing or Road House?

Perhaps when those remakes come calling, I'll be back!

Plus, you get the over-the-top crazy that is Gary Busey, plus John McGinley playing a first class tool, so what's not to love?

Otherwise, a little dated, but fun nonetheless, you can definitely do worse if you're looking for 90s action flicks.

For those that haven't seen it in the last 25 years (!!!!), maybe you'll want to revisit this one.

We'll find out how the remake fares against the original, tomorrow!

Final Grade:  C+

Burning The Candle At Both Ends... "John Wick"

John Wick (2014)

Rated R

Starring Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, Willem Dafoe, Adrianne Palicki,

Directed by Chad Stahelski

The Story:

John Wick (Reeves) is a former mob hit man, who is now happily retired, having settled down with his wife. However, when she dies, she arranges for a little pooch to be delivered to her husband so he wouldn't be alone. When some thugs target Wick for a robbery, they make the mistake of killing his little puppy.

John Wick is now about to come out of retirement for canine vengeance!

Seriously, that's the plot of the film.

I saw this one received a lot of accolades from people as the coolest action flick in ages.

Meh.

I didn't see it quite that way.

It's the best thing I've seen from Keanu since...hmm...The Replacements! So it's been a 14 year dry spell for him, but this one is fine.

Not great, but fine.

Again, while the storyline seems far-fetched, in the logic of this movie, it makes sense.

Wick is a man of honor and is respected by friends and foes alike.

Plus, he's impossible to kill.

:)

And without spoiling too much, since John Wick 2: Even Wickier is in production, it's safe to say you'll figure out how it ends.

Final Grade: B-

Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K! "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Rated PG

Starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin,

Directed by Stephen Herek

The Story:

Bill (Winter) and Ted (Reeves) are two San Dimas California slackers who are apparently destined to make the future a better place.  However, to make sure that the duo aren't separated forever because of failing history in high school, a time traveler (Carlin) comes back to allow the boys to get a better grasp on history by way of time machine.

Whoa!

The celebration of the 25th Anniversary of the films of 1989 continues with a pair of slackers named Bill & Ted.

Keanu Reeves had a most excellent 1989 starring in this and the ensemble comedy, Parenthood.

Essentially, he played the same character.

:)

Having not seen Bill & Ted upon initial release, I do not have the luxury of rose-colored glasses to sway my  review.

It's cheesy. It's goofy.

But at the end of the day, it's still cute enough.

Most of  the charm comes from the various people brought back through time to modern day California and to see how they react to society and each other.

Naturally, if you watched this one when it was released, you'll find my rating is probably lower than yours.

That's okay.

Time travel might be used to change my rating eventually anyway.  ;)

Available to stream on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B- / C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Cute, but nothing awe-inspiring.  Perhaps if I had seen it at the time?

100 Greatest Movies of All Time...That I Own. # 58 ~ Speed

It's Die Hard...on a bus!

Convince me that wasn't the pitch for this movie, and I'll take it off the list.

Until then, welcome to today's installment, Speed.

The premise is quite simple.  There's a bomb on a bus.  If the bus drops below a certain speed...

Kaboom!

Keanu Reeves plays the cop who's going to save the day.  Meanwhile, his partner, Jeff Daniels, is frantically trying to stop the madman who is attempting to kill them.

The madman in question?  Dennis Hopper. 

The movie pretty much grabs you and doesn't let go.  It's one action scene after another, with just enough quiet time to let you get your breath back before the next spectacular stunt.

It was a great directorial debut for Jan de Bont, who followed it up with Twister...and then his career has relatively flatlined.

However, it did make a star out of Sandra Bullock, who is spunky and adorable, and has been a star ever since.

It's an entertaining thrill-ride that seems impossible and implausible all at the same time. 

Plus, you get your proof that Keanu isn't as dumb as he seems as an actor.

After all, he was the one that DIDN'T come back to do Speed 2.

: )