"Happy Death Day" To You!

Happy Death Day (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, Ruby Modine, Charles Aitken,

Directed by Christopher Landon

The Story:

Tree (Rothe) wakes up in Carter's (Broussard) dorm room. She partied way too hard the night before. Not the most illustrious way to start out her birthday, but by the end of the night, she faces the prospect of dying at the hands of a mysterious murderer! Once she has been killed, she wakes up, and relives the day over and over again. Can Tree solve her own murder and possibly end the time loop she's stuck in?

It's always good to find a "Best of the Year" candidate in January.

I absolutely loved this movie, from start to finish.

I even watched the alternate ending on YouTube and didn't hate it nearly as much as the test audiences did. : )

But anyway, Christopher Landon helms his next great horror comedy (The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse) and it is a lot of fun.

Red herrings galore as their is an infinite number of suspects that crop up as Tree goes through her day, then eventually tries to track down  her murderer.

There's a lot of fun and humor in each of her situations as she tries to avoid being killed, then as she eliminates suspects, has to endure another day.

Sure, it sounds like Groundhog Day, but that's because if you're going to have a plot where you relive a day over and over again, that comparison is always going to be made. The point is, can you make one that is enjoyable for the audience, because the formula works, as long as you don't deliver a snoozer of a film.

Rothe is fantastic as Tree. She's really quite unlikable when we first meet her, then as her days repeat, she wins the audience over as she both becomes a better person and we endure the mystery of trying to find her killer at the same time.

So, enjoy the spot at the top of the list for now; Marvel Studios is sending 3 definite contenders, but I'm pretty sure this one will still end up on the Top 10 list by the end of the year.

To be even more fair to the film, I want out and bought a copy of it over the weekend.

Plus, the rest of the family that has seen it, they all loved it as well.

Can't ask for much more than that from any film!

Not sure how they'll work with the inevitable sequel, but if it's half this good, it's going to be a lot of fun.

Final Grade:  A- 

He Sees You When You're Sleeping..."Better Watch Out"

Better Watch Out (2017)

Rated R

Starring Olivia DeJonge, Levi Miller, Ed Oxenbould, Aleks Mikic, Dacre Montgomery, Virginia Madsen, Patrick Warburton

Directed by Chris Peckover

The Story:

Ashley (DeJonge) is coming over to babysit Luke (Miller) while his parents (Madsen & Warburton) go to a Christmas party. Luke has a serious crush on Ashley, and hopes to act on it that evening, but an apparent home invasion may dampen the mood and kill the Christmas spirit.

Sooo...

If you saw the trailer, and thought this is another entry in the horror comedy genre similar to the Netflix Original: The Babysitter and thought perhaps it's too similar of a concept, let me stop you right there.

That trailer gave away entirely too much of The Babysitter.

Better Watch Out played bait and switch, promising one movie, and delivering something much different.

While there were some amusing aspects and funny moments, Better Watch Out foregoes much of the comedy for a darker thriller that while you see much of what's coming, it's definitely not what was advertised.

Still, a fairly engaging film that keeps you guessing and second-guessing throughout until it's over, and then you still wonder if it's truly over.

For horror fans that like their Christmas horror soaked in blood, you will likely be disappointed as much of the violence is implied. Personally, that often works to the advantage for a film as the mind can often depict something so horrible, no special effects artist can even come close.

This likely won't become an annual Christmas tradition, but it might get added to the list of Halloween horror films. :)

Final Grade:  C+ / B-

A Step Up In The Prequel Game... "Alien: Covenant"

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Rated R

Starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demian Bichir, Carmen Ejogo,

Directed by Ridley Scott

The Story:

It's been over a decade since the Prometheus mission failed miserably. Now, as the colony ship Covenant is heading towards its destination, a strange SOS lures it to a habitable planet. Ah, but what the crew doesn't realize is that the android David (Fassbender) has been up to all sorts of shenanigans in the meantime.

So basically Covenant goes all in with what Prometheus only teased audiences with: the Aliens.

If you're going to be the prequel for one of the greatest science fiction movie of all time, you have to eventually show us the little face-huggers.

Prometheus hinted at it, but mostly beat around the bushes about what story they were trying to tell.

Now, we're putting it straight into the title, and finding out that androids are directly responsible for the misery inflicted by these evil critters.

Fassbender gets to play dual roles as androids who are both good and evil, as one by one, the crew of the Covenant fall prey to David's dreams of godhood.

Still, it's enjoyable as the series comes ever closer to going full circle, and Scott apparently has plans for a few more of these.

Much like the Terminator series, anything after the first 2 has never lived up to the originals, but at least they're trying to create an overall narrative and salvage what they can go forward.

Final Grade: C+

That's "Life"

Life (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dykhovichnaya

Directed by Daniel Espinosa

The Story:

6 of the world's finest astronauts are trying to collect a soil sample from Mars aboard the International Space Station. When they discover a single cell organism, they have proof that life on Mars exists. As they further experiment, they soon discover that this life wants to grow and be free...at any cost.

This movie seems very familiar.

If you've seen Alien, you've pretty much already seen this film, except they don't really leave much room for a plethora of sequels and prequels.

However, maybe that's a good thing? :)

Now I'm one to suspend belief as much as humanly possible during a film, but there was one scene that really bugged me, is they reference for Re-Animator.

Yes, it's an off-the-cuff quip from Reynolds character, but it drove me buggy. Because how can he realize he's watching something out of Re-Animator, and never acknowledge what is happening is straight out of Alien?!?!

I know, I'm over-thinking this likely, but it's things like that, and then watching each astronaut make stupid choice after stupid choice that gets them killed (oops...spoiler) that just made the movie annoying enough to not love it.

Totally watchable, sure, but nothing in the horror/sci-fi genre that I would need to revisit any time soon.

Final Grade: B-

Clearly The Never Rented Blind Fury Back In The Day... "Don't Breathe"

Don't Breathe (2016)

Rated R

Starring Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette, Daniel Zovatto,

Directed by Fede Alvarez

The Story:

Rocky (Levy) is trying to find a way to make a better life for her and her little sister and escape their current life. She has been breaking into houses and stealing things with her boyfriend Money (Zovatto) and their friend Alex (Minnette). When they stumble upon the house of a blind veteran (Lang) who has an insurance settlement  that they know is just sitting in that house in cash, waiting to be pilfered, they decide to embark on one last score.

After all, it's some old blind guy, what could possibly go wrong?

Buckle up for a tension-filled ride if you've missed this one.

This is another thriller disguised as a horror film, and the tension just continues to mount as the movie rolls along.

If you haven't seen, or don't remember the trailer, it pretty much fills you in on what to expect.

A home invasion goes horribly wrong for the invaders when the blind guy inside is so much more than the 3 burglars could possibly be expecting.

This is a man that knows every inch of his house, and soon becomes the hunter as the intruders struggle to find a way out of the house.

Creepy little thriller that will grab you and keep you intrigued until the end.

My only complaint, this movie, and many others, that keep opening with a scene that chronologically doesn't appear until near the end of the film.

While it can be an effective way to jump right into the action, it's use in horror/thriller movies often takes a little wind out of the sails later in the film because you know that scene is coming.

Unless of course, you've forgotten all about it.

Final Grade:  B-

Heed The Warning..."Get Out"

Get Out (2017)

Rated R

Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Catherine Keener, Bradley Whitford, Caleb Landry Jones, Marcus Henderson, Betty Gabriel, LilRel Howery,

Written and Directed by Jordan Peele

The Story:

Rose (Williams) is taking her boyfriend Chris (Kaluuya) on a weekend getaway to meet her parents (Keener & Whitford). There are a few odd things around the house that cause Chris concern, but even he is unprepared for the horrible fate that awaits him unless he can...

Get. Out.

Okay, I'm sorry, but this was not a horror film.

A thriller? Maybe suspense film?

Absolutely.

But when I think horror, this is not at all what I think of in a film.

There's a few parts that make you jump, but no, I'm going to have to say I was sold a bill of goods for one movie, and presented another.

That's fine.

It's like being told a movie is a comedy, and then not laughing.

As long as the film is a good one, I can adjust, no harm, no foul.

Just bad advertising.

That's where I'll put Get Out.

It's a movie I'm deliberately talking around, because I hate to spoil films for anyone that may not have seen it yet, even though I'm usually the last guy watching something.

:)

Otherwise, really good movie. Jordan Peele does a great job as first-time (I believe) writer-director for a movie that isn't a comedy.

Though yes, there is some humor to be found in the movie.

Kaluuya is phenomenal carrying the movie as pretty much 95% of the entire movie centers directly or indirectly around him.

Oh yeah, and not to scare anyone away, but the movie does tackle some weighty issues such as racism and classism, but not in nearly the "we have to hit you over the head with it" way that many films try and portray things.

Which makes this film the best kind of 'ism' film, escapism.

Final Grade: B-

Social Media Takes A Dark Turn..."Unfriended"

Unfriended (2014)

Rated R

Starring  Heather Sossaman, Matthew Bohrer, Courtney Halvorsen, Shelley Hennig, Moses Storm, Will Peltz, Renee Olstead, Jacob Wysocki

Directed by Levan Gabriadze

The Story:

On the anniversary of Laura's (Sossaman) death, a group of her friends are video chatting online when they are joined by someone pranking them using her account. Only it's not someone pranking them, it's Laura, and she's back from the dead to get her cyber-revenge!

So forgive me if this movie is redundant or derivative from any other horror movie of the "you watch it and you die" genre.

I haven't seen many, if any of them, but I know they exist.

This film is very simple in the execution. It is literally shot from the point of view of the computer being used by Val (Halvorsen) as she navigates multiple browser windows at once trying to figure out who the mysterious hacker is.

No big names, clearly no big budget.

Just enough suspense to keep you interested until the final frame.

As each of the teens reveals their duplicity in Laura's death, they are met with their final fate.

Most are cut away, leaving your brain to provide you the gruesome details of their ultimate demise, but you're teased with enough to know how to finish the picture.

Nothing that reinvents the horror genre, but it keeps your interest, and that's better than being bored...

to death!

:)

Final Grade: C+ / B- range

A Head Scratcher..."Last Shift"

Last Shift (2014)

Rated R

Starring Juliana Harkavy, Joshua Mikel,

Written and Directed by Anthony DiBlasi

The Story:

A rookie cop (Harkavy) is assigned the final shift at a police precinct that is closing the next day. She simply has to wait until a HazMat team shows up in the morning to collect and transfer some waste from the armory. Of course, there's a reason the precinct is closing...some really strange things have been happening ever since cult leader Michael Paymon (Mikel) and 2 of his followers committed suicide in the precinct.

Take John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13, and change it so that it's ghosts that are attacking the station, not bad guys.

The movie, overall has an atmospheric and sometimes creepy vibe to it, but ultimately I found it annoying by the end.

Essentially, it's a Final Girl vs. The Bad Guy.

Unfortunately, the typical formula isn't followed and I was disappointed by the ending.

Harkavy does a great job carrying the film considering the focus is on her for pretty much the entire duration.

There were a few effective jump scares and some nice twists and turns along the way but otherwise, it gets hard to believe that our rookie doesn't just walk out that door and sit in her car for the rest of the night.

Harder still to believe that they assign a rookie to the station, considering what everyone else knows and they refuse to tell her. 

It's currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

I still can't get past the ending of the film, so I'm grading it accordingly. Your mileage may vary...

Final Grade: D+

Genre Mashing On The Cheap..."Daylight's End"

Daylight's End (2016)

Not Rated

Starring Johnny Strong, Lance Henriksen, Louis Mandylor, Chelsea Edmundson

Directed by William Kaufman

The Story:

A drifter (Strong) saves a cop (Edmundson) from an ambush that kills her partner. She takes him back to the police precinct promising him a car and all the gas/food he needs to be on his way. However, they are trying to escape to a sanctuary to get away from the bloodthirsty savages that lurk in the shadows.

File this one under wanting to make a budget horror end of the world film but they couldn't choose between zombies or vampires, so they kind of combined the two into one.

That way you can get the best of both worlds without working too hard.

Throw in a dash of Mad Max, Assault on Precinct 13, I Am Legend, videogames and just about whatever else you can think of, and this movie has got you covered.

Henriksen of course is the face and name you recognize.

Everyone else in the cast is competent, but no names or faces that I recognized.

It could have used a little more tweaking and originality and a bit less borrowing from everything else, but it was good enough to keep my interest.

Final Grade: C

Life Imitates Are..."Mimesis"

Mimesis (2011)

Rated R

Starring Allan Maldonado, Sid Haig, Lauren Mae Schafer, Courtney Gains, Taylor Piedmonte, David Brown, Jana Thompson, Gavin Grazer, Bryana Dorfman,

Written and Directed by Douglas Schulze

The Story:

A group of horror fans are having a great time at a convention. However, after a night of partying, several of them wake up the next morning, unsure of where they are or how they got there. When zombies begin to attack, the people must band together and try and survive their own personal Night of the Living Dead. 

This has all the premise of a great idea on paper, but something didn't quite translate for me on the screen.

There's a couple of interesting things that happen along the way, but for the most part, you know what's going to happen, to whom, and when.

Of course, that's basic Horror 101, and part of the reason these movies get watched in the first place.

;)

Most of the actors are a bit bland in the charisma department, so it very much has the look and feel of a budget "B Movie", but none of the extra charm and appeal that makes it a cult classic.

However, apparently it made enough people happy, or enough money, to warrant a sequel coming next year, so there's that.

I won't be chomping at the bit to see it, but maybe on a slow week...

Final Grade: C   

Try To Avoid The "Holidays"

Holidays (2016)

Rated R

Starring A Whole Lot Of Actors

Directed by A Whole Lot of Directors

The Stories:

In about 15 minutes, you will get a scary tale centering on most of the holidays that make up a year.


I honestly don't know how to possibly review this one.

It's several 15 minute segments, some with more inspired dread than others, and then they all end.

BANG!

Usually with a jump scare at the end as if that were the payoff.

The problem....

Most of the films aren't that scary.

Or, if they are, the ending seemingly undoes any tension or goodwill that the movie might have earned along the way.

Plus, in 15 minutes, it's hard to care for any character so that when they get theirs at the end, or get away with murder or what have you, you have a general feeling of...

Meh.

Next holiday!

None of them are terrible to watch, and if you think of it as just watching a 15 minute short film, it goes by and then it goes by, and by, and by...

Then it's over and you've survived.

Uninspiring and flat spring to mind when I try and remember each of the segments.

Congratulations, you're the first film eligible for 2017 Turkey of the Year!

:)

Streaming on Netflix as of  this writing.

Final Grade: D+ 

A New Take On The Zombie Virus..."Cell"

Cell (2016)

Rated R

Starring John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Isabelle Fuhrman, Stacy Keach, Ethan Andrew Casto, Clark Sarullo,

Directed by Tod Williams

The Story:

Clay (Cusack) is an aspiring graphic novelist who is on his way to see his son (Casto) after a productive meeting. His phone battery dies while talking with his estranged wife (Sarullo). Suddenly, he notices passengers in the airport that had been behaving normally while on their cell phones, break out into a murderous frenzy. He barely escapes and finds some other survivors including Tom (Jackson) and they decide to head north to find Clay's son.

Equal parts Invasion of the Body Snatchers meets Any Typical Zombie movie, you've now got Cell, based on a book by Stephen King.

There is no real mention of what causes the outbreak, and the only real clue is that the villain that seems to be at the center of it all looks just like a character that Clay created.

Hmmm....

Is this a movie that is dreamed by the main character?

I'd like to hope so because the ending was horrible.

Which is disappointing, because up until that point, the movie was actually not to bad for a low-budget thriller.

I'd even go so far as to say watch the movie up until the point Cusack and Jackson part ways.

Once that happens, turn it off, take it out, and send it back to Netflix.

You'll likely find you had a better viewing experience than sticking around for the conclusion.

Reading up on the differences between the book and the movie, the book had a vague, but positive ending.

Not so in this film.

It's neither vague, nor positive.

It downright sucks, even.

And that blame falls directly on King's shoulders as he is the one that wrote the screenplay, wanting to change the ending.

Master of horror...

More like master of horrible endings.

:)

Final Grade: C

"You're Next" Finally Made It To the Top Of The Queue...

You're Next (2011)

Rated R

Starring Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, AJ Bowen, Wendy Glenn, Joe Swanberg, Rob Moran, Barbara Crampton

Directed by Adam Wingard

The Story:

Paul and Aubrey Davison (Moran & Crampton) have all of their children and their significant others come home to celebrate their wedding anniversary, but things take a scary turn when masked evil-doers begin picking off the family members, one by one.

What's going on, and what do these masked men want?

You'll have to watch to find out!!

So yesterday, I reviewed a thriller that wasn't very thrilling, and compared that disappointment to a comedy that isn't funny.

Don't forget to add to that list of disappointments, horror movies that aren't that scary.

You're Next fills that bill perfectly.

Now, if you've never, ever, in the history of horror movies ever watched a scary movie, you might like this one.

If, however, you've waded into the bloody waters of horror movies ever before, you'll find this one to be poorly laid out and laughably acted by nearly the entire cast.

You'll figure out whodunit, and why, long before the reveal comes.

In fact, the reveal comes so slowly and poorly resolved later, that you'll have come up with at least a dozen, better, alternatives for this film. :)

The one exception is our "Final Girl", Sharni Vinson who is about the only redeeming quality to the entire film.

It's on her efforts alone that I don't fail this one.

But man, I really wanted to.

Final Grade: C-

Jane Austen Is Rolling Over In Her Grave...And Craving Brains! "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies"

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Lily James, Bella Heathcote, Matt Smith, Sam Riley, Jack Huston, Douglas Booth

Written and Directed by Burr Steers

The Story:

What's the best way to describe the story?  What if you took the writings of Jane Austen, and decided to frame them around a deadly zombie outbreak?

Why yes, that would probably do it.

So all of the players are on the board, they just have to survive the zombie hordes if they hope to make it to the altar alive.

Good, but not great.

That's about the easiest way for me to sum up my reaction to the film.

They made a beautiful period piece, and they intersperse the zombie apocalypse in there pretty well.

However, the film just sort of drags along with fits of brilliance interrupting periods of dullness.

So yes, a typical Jane Austen work.
:)

I don't know, perhaps they played it too straight, but there is no sense of fun or impending dread, two things that often set the best zombie movies apart from the lumbering pack.

Who knows, maybe I was just tired while I was watching, but I often found myself starting to drift when the cast wasn't in peril.

That said, Lily James certainly carries this film on her shoulders in a way she was unable to do with the extremely boring Cinderella remake.

Final Grade:  C+

That's Going To Be A Really Busy Place... "Bad Kids Go To Hell"

Bad Kids Go To Hell (2012)

Rated R

Starring Cameron Deane Stuart, Ben Browder, Ali Faulkner, Augie Duke,

Directed by Matthew Spradlin

The Story:

It's Saturday afternoon at Crestview Academy, and six students begin their day of detention. The rumors of the school being haunted begin to seem true as one by one, the students meet their grisly fates!

It's the Breakfast Club re-imagined as a horror film, and for the most part, it works fairly well.

It's many of the cliches of high school and horror movies all woven into one crazed Saturday detention hall.

The best parts of the film are the flashbacks that show how the new kid, Matt (Stuart) was involved in just about every aspect of each of the other kids getting suspended. Normally, it was by circumstances that were beyond his control. Wrong place, wrong time.

It's no wonder nobody else really likes him.

:)

You'll see some of the twists and turns coming, but for the most part, Spradlin wrote and directed a pretty decent horror comedy that works on many levels.

Plus, it really does go full circle with The Breakfast Club when you find out who the principal of the school is.

:)

Naturally after sending the disc back, I have since discovered that it's also streaming on Amazon Prime.

I need to check that site more often. :)

Final Grade: C+ / B- range

It's All About Igor..."Victor Frankenstein"

Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy

Directed by Paul McGuigan

The Story:

This is the story of how Victor Frankenstein (McAvoy) met a circus freak (Radcliffe) with a brilliant mind and the two became friends and even contemporaries. Be ready for a twist on the relationship that you thought you knew.

Also, be ready to be rather bored while watching it.

:)

Okay, maybe not bored. It's not that it's bad or anything, it's just rather plodding in how it goes about everything. It's a period drama that hopes to be something more, but really isn't.

By the time they get around to building the creature, the movie is just about over.

However, since this isn't really supposed to be THAT story... it's already been told a number of times.

Instead, the relationship and dynamic between Igor and Frankenstein is the focus of the movie, and their scenes together  is the highlight of the movie.

McAvoy does everything at hyper speed, making his Victor the crazy one in the movie.

Radcliffe brings soul and heart to the role of Igor who winds up being much more than just a lab assistant to Victor's plans.

Of course, when it ventures into Igor's potential love interest, I found myself happy for Igor but otherwise, didn't really care.

My guess is, they were hoping to make this feel like the updated Sherlock Holmes series starring Robert Downey Jr. by breathing life and style into a centuries old franchise.

Nice idea, but it doesn't come off as well this go round.

Final Grade:  C

"I, Frankenstein" Brings You Up To Date On The Creature

I, Frankenstein (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Aaron Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Bill Nighy, Jai Courtney

Directed by Stuart Beattie

The Story:

The Creature (Eckhart) is immortal. He buries Dr. Frankenstein in a graveyard but is attacked by demons. He is rescued by Gargoyles who are actually angels on earth to help keep the demons at bay. They ask him to join their ranks to fight evil, but the creature refuses. Centuries pass and now the demons are working on perfecting Dr. Frankenstein's formula to create an army of the immortal dead. It's time for the creature to choose a side.

Well, that was something alright.

You think you're getting a tale of the Creature, and he falls smack dab into a centuries old battle of good vs. evil with demons and angels.

Not a bad direction, really.

It's reaching for the stars and trying to tell an epic tale.

However, it plays it too straight to be B-Movie horror fun yet not epic enough to be a sweeping fantasy tale.

It winds up as an average film that fine for a viewing, but the odds of watching it again or hoping it's the start of a franchise diminish before the credits are over.

But, at least I went the entire review without commenting on Jai Courtney's lack of charisma.

Oops.

:)

Available to stream on Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Living In The Wild Wild West..."Bone Tomahawk"

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Not Rated (R)

Starring Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox, Richard Jenkins, Lili Simmons,

Written and Directed by S. Craig Zahler

The Story:

When two robbers stumble across an Indian burial ground, one is killed and one makes his way to the nearest town. The problem, these Indians have followed him, and they kidnap him from the jail along with a deputy and the town doctor (Simmons) and make their way back into the night. The sheriff (Russell), his deputy (Jenkins) the doctor's husband (Wilson) and the man (Fox) who feels guilt for having brought the doctor to the jail in the first place set off on a quest to save the abducted.

I'm not sure, I think people will either love this one, or hate it.

It's a western, and then in the final act, it quickly changes to a horror movie with some disturbing kills in it.

By then, it may be too little, too late for those that were hoping it was a horror movie much sooner.

Why?

This movie is long.

As in 3 or 4 additional o's loooong.

Clocking in at over 2 hours can be the cinematic equivalent to career suicide, and this points back to a first time writer/director who doesn't know what or when to say cut or to edit a scene down.

I actually didn't mind many of the conversations that the characters had as they set off on their journey. The actors did a nice job of bringing the script to life. But there could have been a few less, or the journey hurried up just a bit to get somewhere between 90 and 120 minutes just as easily.

Plus, I think the deliberate slow pace makes the change in tone at the end of the movie even more jarring. We've sat through 90 minutes of not much happening, and then suddenly everything is happening in such horrific fashion that it becomes unsettling.

Still, I'm glad I watched it.  The film stayed with me for some time, but it's easy to see the many flaws, as well as the many good parts that shone through.

I'll be waiting Zahler's next effort, I just hope he uses a bit more judicious editing.

Currently streaming on Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Trying To Watch This One Is Like "Hell Baby"

Hell Baby (2013)

Rated R

Starring Rob Corddry, Leslie Bibb

Written and Directed by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon

The Story:

A couple (Corddry and Bibb) are expecting their first baby. They move into a haunted house in New Orleans, and strange things begin happening.

The first strange thing that happened was the filmmakers made Rob Corddry not funny.

Those that have read my other reviews, I love this guy in just about everything he is in.

Hot Tub Time Machine, I'm looking at you!

But even he can't save this pedestrian parody vehicle.

The first rule of parody is to take the source material and put a humorous or funny spin to it.

I'm not sure how far I made it into this film, 10, 20 minutes...

But it felt like a lifetime until I finally switched it off and sent this one back.

No humor.
No scares.

No likey.

This was brought to you by the creators of Reno 911.

Perhaps I don't get their humor, having never seen that show, I can't say.

But I wasn't a fan of this one at all, and it winds up on my Turkey of the Year list with a miserable showing.

Final Grade: F

"Dracula Untold" Was Worth Telling

Dracula Untold (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance

Directed by Gary Shore

The Story:

Inspired by the true story of Vlad Tepes (Evans), this take on the legend of Dracula shows how the ruler became a legend in order to save his wife (Gadon) and son (Parkinson) from the cruel leader of the Turks (Cooper) who was going to enslave 1000 of the children under Tepes rule, including his son. Vlad found a way to get the power he needed to thwart the enemy, and it would last for 3 days unless he gave in to the hunger of the blood.

Oops.

:)

Well of course he gives in, he's Dracula after all!

However, it's the struggle to avoid being consumed by the power that is the heart of the story of Vlad who seeks only to save his family, and his kingdom from the tyrannical Turks.

Evans remains one of my favorite "B movie actors" who is finally getting a chance to work in "A Level material", undoubtedly thanks to the success of his turn in Fast 6. I welcome his arrival as the star and hope he lands more leading roles in the future.

Dracula Untold shies away from a lot of the bloodshed and violence that a movie like this seemingly demands.

However, I don't think that was a bad decision. We don't need to be drenched with blood to get the point of the film, sometimes not being shown allows us to think of the horror in our own minds, which usually is way scarier, and cooler, than the effects on screen.

Plus, bonus points for the creative way in which Dracula was shown to move in this film. Visually stunning, and very creative to the legend.

I enjoyed it, your mileage may vary.

Final Grade: B- (like the blood type)