Yo Ho Ho..."Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales"

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario,

Directed by Joachim Ronning

The Story:

It's the latest adventure of Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) running from all manner of cursed pirates as he seeks the elusive Trident of Poseidon. New faces and some returning characters make this the most star-studded chapter yet.

As we enter the 5th chapter of the franchise, I really couldn't tell you what has happened in any of the 4 that have come before it.

After this one ended, I really couldn't tell you much about it either.

And that has been my impression of the Pirates franchise since its inception.

Gorgeous locations and special effects.

Some of the best looking pirates/ghost effects you can hope for.

Meanwhile, Johnny Depp running around like a drunken Keith Richards just having a good time.

Yeah, that really does sum everything up.

If you've seen the first four, you're not going to be disappointed.

I wouldn't say the franchise is getting any better, nor is it really getting any worse.

They're toeing the line, and introducing some new blood that may take center stage if/when the franchise chugs ahead.

I assume they'll make these as long as Depp is willing/able to do so.

Considering they make a ton of money, and his other movies usually crash on arrival, I'd say we're good for at least another 4 or 5 of these.

If you missed it the first go round, it's now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

No Wonder They Stopped Worshipping The "Gods Of Egypt"

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Brenton Thwaites, Courtney Eaton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Chadwick Boseman, Gerard Butler, Bryan Brown, Rachael Blake, Geoffrey Rush,

Directed by Alex Proyas

The Story:

The story of how Set (Butler) betrayed his brother Osiris (Brown) and took over the throne of Egypt, much to Horus' (Waldau) dismay. The only one who can hope to stop Seth is a little mortal named Bek (Thwaites) who refuses to acknowledge the gods of Egypt, but will do anything to help his beloved (Eaton) return to life.

And yes, of course this is based on a true story.

Or, at least the cool myth of Osiris, Set and Horus.

Getting my background for the film, it appears that the main complaint about this film, it should have been filled with black actors instead of white actors.

Okay.

I guess.

In theory, it should have been filled with actual Egyptian actors, but this is Hollywood, and you pretty much take what you're given.

I've seen enough black actors playing white roles and women playing men's roles, etc. etc. etc...

I pretty much don't care anymore.

As long as they are a decent actor in a decent story that will hold my interest, I'm pretty easygoing on this subject.

So the question becomes really this:

Is the film any good?

The answer?

Yes, it kind of is.

Not in a Gladiator or Ben Hur or other dramatic swords and sandals epic drama.

More in the Clash of the Titans can I check my brain at the door, munch some popcorn and not be thoroughly bored for the next 90 minutes, then Gods Of Egypt succeeds.

The size differential aspect between gods and mortals is a concept that doesn't get used very often, and establishes that there is indeed something different about this Gerard Butler than other Butlers we may be used to.

It's a cheesy throwback, but with today's technology doesn't look nearly as laughable as it once did.

The action scenes are well choreographed and the plot keeps moving you along to the final battle with very little to drag things down.

It's a popcorn movie, through and through. :)

 C+

This Week's Dystopian Future Flick: "The Giver"

The Giver (2014)

PG-13

Starring Jeff Bridges, Meryl Streep, Brenton Thwaites

Directed by Phillip Noyce

The Story:

In the future, society is naturally perfect. As the latest wave of children graduate to take on their role in society, one boy, Jonas (Thwaites) is selected by the Chief Elder (Streep) to become the "Receiver of the Memories". He learns from The Giver (Bridges) all of the secrets of society that the people no longer remember. As he begins to learn, he begins to realize that all of society is a lie...

The book that has been around forever is now a major motion picture!

And really, it's not that bad.

However, when you finally come along after The Hunger Games, Divergent and a million other "this is the future and society is different now and you are the special chosen one..."

Well, they all begin to blur together after awhile, and it's a lot of been there, done that.

That said, this one is rather interesting in the passing of memories from The Giver to the Receiver.

There are some uncomfortable truths that are offered in here that show how cruel society can become.

How Jonas chooses to handle what he learns and decide what is best for society is what makes the story work.

Plus, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt since the book has been around for over 30 years.

Had this been filmed first, all bets would be off, and those other films would be compared to this one.

:)

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It was one of the better dystopian future movies of late, but once was enough.