A Baker's Dozen: The Best Films of 2015

The year is just about done.

134 movies were watched and reviewed by yours truly this year. While normally "Best of the Year" status is reserved for films that originally rated a B+ or higher, there were a couple of films that in hindsight, stuck with me through the year and they deserved to be part of the festivities.

So we've already visited the bottom of the heap, now let's flip and look at the Top 10% of the movies that I saw at home, or on rare occasions, the big screen!

These are the films that I enjoyed watching the most, and in just about every case, wouldn't mind owning and/or watching again in the future.

13) The D.U.F.F.

The designated ugly fat friend is the latest entry in the high school ugly duckling genre which has provided countless entries over the years. When done well, they become revered classics that are beloved by generations. When they aren't that great, they get chalked up to a pale imitation of "insert your favorite high school movie". The DUFF was a film that I hadn't heard of prior to the release on DVD. I read a quick synopsis, figured this was either going to be great or lame, and took a gamble. In my original review, I stated that aside from some language that keeps this from being an instant classic to be enjoyed for generations to come, it was still a pretty good film.

I still stand by that assessment. Take out some of the harsher language/innuendo, you've got a great coming of age/high school/ugly duckling/boy meets girl/etc. etc. genre classic. As it is, it was still pretty darn funny.

12) Let's Be Cops

The concept is sound, two guys pretend to be cops, heck, Police Academy turned a similar idea into a franchise! Two likeable leads (Johnson & Wayans) who pretend to be cops to try and pick up girls, but then enjoy the power and respect they receive while in uniform. Naturally, a real case lands in their laps and they end up having to do more than just pretend. When it was over, I was pretty much ready for a sequel. Months later, I still am.

 

11) What We Do In The Shadows

When you have a mockumentary about vampires on your Best of the Year list, you have to give all the credit to the actors and filmmakers who put forth this labor of love. As with many mockumentaries, it helps when those behind the camera are also in front of it, to make sure their vision and passion is on both sides of the film. It bodes well that horror comedies are becoming more popular and being made with more frequency. I'm always pleased when I make these lists and find one that makes the cut. This year, the vampires weren't alone.

10) St. Vincent

A fine dramedy by way of Bill Murray as a cranky bastard of a neighbor who ends up taking care of a new kid in town. The two bond in a weird anti-Karate Kid kind of way. When the school assembly takes place at the end of the film, all of the storylines are resolved with a big weepy bow attached for good measure. Well done by all involved, and I was really pleased with how enjoyable this film really was.

9) Touchback

When you take football movies and sprinkle it with a bit of It's A Wonderful Life, you wind up with Touchback. A high school star quarterback gets to go back and relive his final game. This time, he can make sure he doesn't get injured and lose his scholarship and path to fame and fortune. Then he realizes, that's how he met his wife. But surely he can have the fame and get the girl too, right?

8) The Final Girls

The best thing about the horror comedy genre, is you're usually expecting very little, to nothing at all from it, that you can often be blown out of the water by how good they really are, especially when they take everything you love about horror movies, and make you laugh at and with it. So too, The Final Girls. I'd heard nothing about it, read the little blurb and thought, why not? I even gathered the kids around, and they enjoyed it as well. When a movie can appeal to both fans of horror and kids that have seen very little horror films (I know, I'm a horrible parent, I'm working on it!) then you know you've done something right. Bravo.

7) Spare Parts

Cue the inspirational true story about a teacher and his students genre. Perfect! Spare Parts takes the tried and true underdog sports team formula and uses it on a bunch of high schoolers who want to start a robotics team. It checks all the boxes and yet these films never get old. Further proof that moviegoers like me at least, love a movie with an upbeat finale. That it really happened...somewhat kinda sorta... like the movie implied, that's the proverbial icing on the cake.

6) Avengers: Age of Ultron

Boy did this one suck, am I right? If anything, Avengers 2 simply failed to live up to the lofty expectations of the first one. No harm, no foul. If anything, Age of Ultron failed by delivering a jokey robot who wasn't nearly as menacing as he should be. If you want a humorous villain, bring back the charismatic Loki. A robot shouldn't have a weird smugness to them. They should be cold, calculating machines. Fix that, and I think this movie would have been improved greatly. That said, I still really liked it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be typing this up right now, would I?

:)

5) The Book of Life

I didn't see enough animated films this year to devote a year end best of list this time. That's a shame, because many of the animated films often have more heart and better storytelling than many of their live action counterparts. Reel FX hit one straight out of the park with this beautifully animated classic that was a joy from start to finish. They took a story and made it better by using the puppets of the characters to tell the story and the looks of the characters never once suffered, though I'm sure it would have been easier to animate if they looked real instead of with the joints and grain of wooden puppets. The movie had a ton of heart, and was a very pleasant surprise.

4) Furious 7

While not quite hitting the same heights of 5 or 6, the 7th installment of the franchise wasn't bad. It was a bittersweet farewell to Paul Walker that permeated the film throughout and it was hard to enjoy how much fun the movie was. Take that real life tragedy away, and 7 would easily have been total popcorn insane fun. But knowing that this is it for the crew, well, that sucks a lot of the fun away from the film even if you don't realize it. Repeat viewings probably won't have quite the same effect, and luckily Tyrese Gibson is along for the ride to ease the pain with a lot of laughs.

3) Big Hero 6

This is where an annual animated list would have likely whittled Book of Life off the end of year and left Big Hero 6 as the only animated film to make the cut. This was the first movie of the year to make it into the Best of the Year contention. When the dust settles, it's still right here near the top. Not too shabby for an obscure Marvel comic idea that was made into a movie. This movie, like The Incredibles, is a great example of a superhero movie that you owe it to yourself to see, even if you don't have kids. Trust me, you'll love it.

2) Kingsman: The Secret Service

When my wife is willing to watch the same movie the very next day just so the kids can watch it and enjoy the film, you know it's a good movie. Kingsman was that movie. Judging a movie by the trailer is sometimes risky, but the Kingsman trailer looked like it would be a great action/spy film that was just crazy to watch. Yeah, pretty much sums up the film. Colin Firth became the most unlikely of all action heroes/spies in the history of cinema. Yet as you watch the film, he completely nails the part and makes the movie that much better and believable because of his participation. I'm not sure how a sequel is going to play out, but all I know is I'm ready to see it!

1) Ant-Man

For the umpteenth year, Marvel Studios clocks in with my favorite film of the year. Yay Marvel! So why Ant-Man? A better question is, why not Ant-Man? First, it's a superhero film (from Marvel) so you know it's got to really suck to not be on this list. Check! Second, it's got one of my favorite other genres wrapped in the story as well: The heist film. Check! I had a blast, Paul Rudd was great as Scott Lang, and so too was Michael Douglas as Henry Pym. I was very pleased with the direction the film took us, and loved the entire supporting cast. And yes, I was ecstatic when they announced a sequel for 2018.

But before we get to that, we've still got a few years to go, and the films for 2016 are already stacking up to be reviewed.  See you back here next week for the first new reviews of the year!

It's Time To Look Back: The Best TV Shows of the Year

The end of the year is drawing near, so it's time to look back at all of the quality TV shows that I watched this year.

Yet, I don't even watch that much TV!

But when I do, I try and make sure that it's a quality show, and that it's totally streamable.

:)

Now a few of these might be a few years older, but like I say, better to be late to some parties than to never make it at all.

Some of these shows make me yearn to have cable again, but I also don't ever want to feel that I have to be home at a certain time to watch a certain show.

And yes, I know, that's why we have DVRs, but I consider Netflix and Amazon my DVR, and I'm just getting around to clearing up years worth of shows.

So let's see what I enjoyed watching this year:

10) The Writer's Room

Take a bunch of writers for some of your favorite shows, put them in a room together with an Academy Award winning writer, and enjoy 30 minutes of fun and zaniness as they bounce off each other and explain the writing process that they go through to bring you your favorite shows. From comedies to dramas, every show is the same...yet entirely different as each group of writers brings their quirks and ideas on how to make these shows tick to the center stage. A great show that shines the spotlight on the unsung heroes of Hollywood: the writers.

9) Chopped

Reason # 1 that I'm glad I don't have the Food Network: I'd probably be watching it all the time. The shows are really quite simple, and yet oh-so-compellingly brilliant! Much of their bread and butter are the gameshows that pit chef against chef in a battle to be judged by the pros. Chopped follows the simple premise: everyone gets the same ingredients, make something that will wow the judges. Each round, someone goes home until the final two contestants square off. It's down, dirty and entertaining. The only thing I can't figure out, is how the cooks get their stuff done in 20 to 30 minutes!?! I make meals in the kitchen, and I'm lucky if I can get anything complete from start to finish in anything less than 45 minutes!

8) Food Network Star

See? Here's the Food Network, back again. Normally the only thing more entertaining than the shows, are the hosts themselves. Now, while hosts don't normally just grow on trees, Food Network realized that there could be a hit behind finding the next great host. I've watched the 2 seasons that were available on Netflix, and I was entertained from beginning to end. And, unlike many game shows, I feel as though the right contestants actually won. Personality and Ability makes the next star. Looks like Food Network has got their future in good hands.

7) Property Brothers

But wait just a minute, HGTV doesn't want to be left out of this equation. They have several great property shows under their belt, but none quite as enjoyable as The Property Brothers. While Drew helps the couples find the home that needs renovated, Johnathan brings his vision to their fixer-uppers which is what truly wins over every family. You can't help but feel for Johnathan either as he gets hit with nearly every hurdle from the unexpected worst case scenario to every couple always wanting something in their home that they never budgeted for. It's entertaining and always great to see the final results.

6) Last Man Standing

Tim Allen's return to episodic television. I quite enjoyed the first season of the show, but when they moved on to Season 2, they replaced the oldest daughter and most of the jokes now revolved around politics and the differences between Allen and the oldest daughter and the returning father of her son. Still amusing, but not quite as good as the first season as the focus has shifted away from work and we see much less of Hector Elizondo's character than we should. That's the true crime being committed and hopefully will be fixed as the show moves forward. Moving through season 2, it seems like the show is trying to rebalance itself, so I'm happy for that.  I do love the addition of the former Marine neighbor that moved in. Some fun comedy whenever they make an appearance.

5) Octonauts

If you don't have little kids, it's doubtful you've ever seen this, or ever need to see it. But it's cute, well written and fun. Plus kids actually learn things from watching this show. Scary, but true. To hear my little one spouting out random facts about sea life because of what she's watched on the show makes my little heart soar. The voice cast is great, the animation is absolutely adorable, and it gives my little one something new to watch that was both new to her and the rest of us versus more reruns of shows we've all seen a million times already. Although come to think of it, it now seems like I've seen every Octonauts episode a million times.
;)

4) The Flash

Everything I really don't care about in the DC Movie Universe: angst, brooding, lack of fun, is nowhere to be found in Central City. Okay, I take that back, it's here, but in much smaller doses and balanced with a lot of fun, creativity and charm. The cast is great, and it is fun to watch Barry Allen get used to his powers. It works because the show even goes, "okay, the guy is fast, but now what?" and we get to learn as they show, and that provides levels of growth for both the show and the cast. By deliberately watching this an episode at a time versus binge watching, you can see and feel the growth from week to week that might seem rushed otherwise. I should finish the first season right around the time they load season 2. I'm okay with that. Although with all the Arrow crossovers, I might have to give that show a try too.

3) iZombie

I was so disappointed when Psych went off the air. Thankfully, iZombie picked up and had a psychic who solves crimes by helping the police and hanging out with a fun coroner. :) It's a fun show that created their own rules for zombies and plays by those rules. I can live with that as it is interesting to see that zombies could still go on as members of society as long as they get their dose of brains to keep them in check. I loved the actors and the pacing of the show, but yes, I still think they rushed the season finale and threw too many things at the wall in the hopes it would stick. I've popped in for a bit of Season 2, and I'm still digging the show, and that's always a good thing.

2) Daredevil

Here's one of those Marvel characters I never cared for. Never really enjoyed reading his adventures, so I was in no hurry to get to the show and binge it like everyone else did. I finally watched an episode, and still just took my time finishing. It was great, I was hooked from the first episode and I can see why some people love Daredevil. This guy was interesting and I wanted to see what happens next. I'm a little worried about how quickly some of the cast disappeared from the show, but at the end of the day, this was the first Marvel property to realize that killing the bad guy wasn't the smartest option for the long term. Bravo. Looking forward to the next Netflix offerings with Marvel.
Which means that I enjoyed something more than Marvel had to offer. How is that possible?

1) Community

If there was a show that topped Daredevil, it's Community. The quirky charm of the first season explodes in seasons 2 and 3 as the show hit it's stride and never ceased to be entertaining. Even as they lost their creative direction and several members of the cast, the show still was able to be entertaining. Even the final season, available only on Yahoo! had its fair share of amusing moments, most notably towards the end of the season as the cast began to gel together. While we're likely never to see the cast reunite in the movie, it's fun to revisit their hijinks at the worst Community college in all of Colorado, and the history of television. It was a wonderful ensemble cast that was as believable as they were quirky and strange as they were funny. They started off as strangers and wound up a Community. But more importantly, they became a family.

:)

And there you have it.
Here's to a stellar 2016!

Now that I've lost Psych and Community for new episodes, I'll need to find some new shows to pick up the slack.

Never let it be said though that these 2 shows aren't still viewed on a fairly frequent basis.

 Let's see what old shows I've never watched I will unearth and rave about this time next year!

:)

The Name Sounds Familiar... "Poltergeist"

Poltergeist (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Saxon Sharbino, Kyle Catlett, Kennedi Clements, Jared Harris, Jane Adams

Directed by Gil Kenan

The Story:

The Bowen family moves into a house. The house is haunted. The house eats the youngest child (Clements). The Bowen's bring in the one man (Harris) who might have a chance at saving their daughter.

They're back.

Okay, that's a short and to-the-point synopsis of the movie.

First, hands up everyone who saw and remembers and probably loves the 1982 original film.

Cool.

Me too.

That said, it's been about...30-ish years since I last saw the film.

I'm still haunted by the fried chicken leg scene.

:: shudder ::

And of course, everyone remembers "They're he-re"

So why remake the film?

Money.

Money talks, and like it or not, Poltergeist is a "franchise".

The funny thing, get rid of the "They're he-re" line and name this film something else entirely, more people would probably have enjoyed it and/or bashed it less for being a "horrible remake" of a beloved 80s movie.

At this point, every haunted house movie is derivative of Poltergeist, or the Amityville Horror or any of a number of films that have come before.

Much like the RoboCop remake, or Total Recall, when they keep referencing names or trying to recreate scenes instead of just taking the idea of the film and doing a "what can we do now?" approach to the film, it causes too many memory reflexes for many viewers to just sit back and enjoy the show.

Thankfully, I was able to enjoy this movie for what it was, and only had a few flashbacks to the original film.

Sam Rockwell, as always, makes a great anchor for the film as we not only suffer with his ordeal of trying to save his family after the ghosts make themselves known, we feel his pain as he tries desperately to take care of his family before that even happens.

Harris also makes a great ghost hunter and provides much needed humor and seriousness as the needs arise.

You know, when it's all said and done, this was still a rather well-made story and can stand on its own two feet next to the original.

Final Grade: B-

It's Great To Be "Hitched For The Holidays"

Hitched For The Holidays (2012)

TV-PG

Starring Joey Lawrence, Emily Hampshire, Marilu Henner, Serge Houde, Linda Darlow

Directed by Michael Scott

The Story:

Rob (Lawrence) promises his dying grandmother that he will bring the girl he's going to marry to see her before Christmas. Emily (Hampshire) is trying to get away from the boys that he mom is trying to set her up with over the holidays. They both turn to an online "Craigslist-Type-Service" and select each other to help get them through the holiday obligations with no strings attached.

And it's all going so well until they actually begin to fall for one another.

It's a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie that has been done before.

And I'm fairly certain it will be done again.

And again.

But that's okay, the premise works, and while not quite as great as previous takes on this story, including Lawrence's own My Fake Fiance or the underrated gem Holiday in Handcuffs, there is enough to the story and the characters to make for a pleasant 90 minutes this holiday season.

The most fun aspect is the Hanukkah vs. Catholic traditions between the two families, especially when they meet for dinner for the first time.

While this one won't likely become an annual tradition, it was enjoyable to see this year.

Final Grade: C+

I "Spy" With My Little Eye...A Movie That Should Have Been Better

Spy (2015)

Rated R

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Jude Law, Rose Byrne, Allison Janney

Written and Directed by Paul Feig


The Story:

CIA Operative Bradley Fine (Law) is killed in the line of duty. His analyst, Susan (McCarthy) is suddenly the best option to become a field agent, much to the dismay of their boss (Janney) and their other best spy (Statham). But Susan does her best to take all of her training into the field and watch their target (Byrne) and simply gather intel. However, when she makes contact, all bets are off and she may be the next spy to fall.

What a wonderful idea.

What a great cast.

What a horrible f*$%ing script.

I'm growing very tired of Paul Feig, or Hollywood, McCarthy or whoever thinks that funny equals f-bombs carpet bombing the movie in place of genuinely funny dialogue.

McCarthy's sarcastic put upon character is wearing thin on me, and you'll understand if I have reservations on the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot with Feig in charge.

Don't get me wrong, I think Unaccompanied Minors is one of the best Christmas movies made in the last decade and is an underappreciated masterpiece of comedy.

However, as underrated as that was, that's how overrated Bridesmaids was.

The Heat was mediocre, and this is a step down from that.

Maybe if Feig takes the f-word out of his arsenal, he'll be able to harness humor again, maybe not.

As the movie wore on, the repetition of the language was simply dragging the film down quick, and it was ejected at home.

I did finish watching the movie later, and there are humorous bits throughout, mostly thanks to Statham, but it was much too little, too late at that point.

I'm sure there's a sequel in the works already, but if it's going to be more of the same, I'm dreading it already.

Final Grade: C-

How The West Wasn't Won..."The Ridiculous 6"

The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Not Rated

Starring Adam Sandler, Terry Crews, Nick Nolte, Rob Schneider, Jorge Garcia, Taylor Lautner, Luke Wilson, Will Forte, Steve Zahn, Harvey Keitel, Danny Trejo, David Spade, Jon Lovitz, Vanilla Ice,
Directed by Frank Coraci

The Story:

Tommy (Sandler) was raised by Indians after his mom died. When his father (Nolte) finally finds him after all these years, he is quickly taken away by Cicero (Trejo) to find the money that he thinks is his. Tommy goes after his dad and discovers that he has 5 brothers from other mothers and they ride into the West to get $50,000 in order to save their dad's life!

Wow, this one goes off the rails quickly and never fully recovers.

I'm usually the first in line to proclaim that an Adam Sandler isn't that bad.

However, for whatever reason, this movie starts off very slow, and very unfunny. There are amusing bits, but when you sign on for a movie like this, with this much talent on display, there needs to be laughs, not smiles when a joke or gag hits the screen.

Perhaps it is the legacy of Blazing Saddles that will forever make any western comedy feel something less than great, but a lot of this has to fall onto Sandler's shoulders as co-writer of this piece.

He's assembled a great cast, many of whom I don't mention in the credits above simply because of how many people are in this film for a bit part or larger.

The other is the running (or dragging) time of this film.

2 hours?!

No.

Comedies should clock in at 90, maybe 100 minutes. At nearly 120 minutes, most of them laugh free, that's interminable for a comedy.

Add to that the horribly annoying Taylor Lautner's Forrest Gump inspired idiot brother, I wanted to punch something just about any time he's on screen.

Which was way more often than he should have been. Which could have cut back the running time of the film considerably.

:)

That said, there are a few pieces that actually work in this film.

Most notable, John Turturro's arrival as Abner Doubleday who decides to create a little game, and proceeds to make up the rules as he goes along.

That scene is funny, and actually feels like how the rules of baseball were likely made up!

Plus, Vanilla Ice as a strangely inspired version of Mark Twain is ridiculous, but in a good way.

I want to give these guys a break, with the whole 4 picture exclusive to Netflix deal, but with a cast and crew that should know better, I think I'm going to have to downgrade this to a Turkey of the Year candidate.

Final Grade: D+

The Miz Wants To Be An Awesome "Santa's Little Helper"

Santa's Little Helper (2015)

Rated PG

Starring Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, Paige, AnnaLynne McCord, Eric Keenleyside

Directed by Gil Junger

The Story:

Dax (Mizanin) gets fired from his cutthroat job the week before Christmas and is about to lose everything he has. Santa (Keenleyside) sees something in Dax and sends an elf named Billie (McCord) to put Dax through a series of tests. If Dax should succeed, there's a spot for him at the North Pole as Santa's next in command, a spot that another elf (Paige) thinks belongs to her.

WWE Studios is at it again, with another direct to DVD feature in time for the holidays.

Like last year's Jingle All The Way 2, there's nothing inherently wrong with the feature, it feels very much like a made for television movie, and sometimes during this time of year, that's exactly what you want or need to bring the family together while you deck the halls and all that stuff.

I'm just happy to rebound from the loser Christmas movies I'd been getting from Netflix, and was pleased that this movie didn't suck.

:)

Naturally, there will be contrary opinions out there, but I've rarely had any dislike for anything put out by WWE Studios. They are often paint by numbers films, but when you have a formula that works, unless  you're a game changing actor/director/studio, you go with what's safe, what works, and what audiences and your assemblage feels comfortable with.

That said, while The Miz doesn't get a lot of love in the ring lately with WWE, there's no denying the fact that Mike is a natural in front of  the camera and continues to be WWEs poster boy for making movies. Now in his second Christmas film, his role is much expanded than it was in the ABC Family film Christmas Bounty where he was a secondary film. No, Miz gets to carry most of the film and he proves up to the challenge.

Much like the persona he has in the ring, there's really nothing to like or care about in Dax, yet as the layers get peeled back, you hope he succeeds in his quest.

By the time the credits role, all is well on screen and you won't feel miserable for having watched this one.

Final Grade: C+

Even Affordable Health Care Cannot Fix "Accidental Love"

Accidental Love (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Jessica Biel, James Marsden, Jake Gyllenhaal, Tracy Morgan, Kurt Fuller,

Directed by David O. Russell

The Story:

Alice (Biel) is about to be proposed to by her boyfriend Scott (Marsden). That's when tragedy strikes and she winds up with a nail in her head. Naturally, Scott isn't so sure he wants to risk a wedding to someone who could suffer mood swings or die because of the nail, and healthcare is too expensive to pull the nail out. So Alice heads to Washington D.C. to get freshman Congressman Birdwell (Gyllenhaal) to propose a healthcare bill that would allow for the removal of nails to the skull.

This was an odd one.

Reading up on it, apparently it was David O. Russell's attempt at a comedy/political satire that was plagued with numerous problems so he walked away and disowned it.

Ouch.

It's not that bad, and the cast he assembles gives it their all, especially a manic Marsden and a game for just about anything Gyllenhaal who brings a lot of life to a spineless politician who wants to do good things, but can't quite figure out how to do it correctly.

Much of it will seem really dated by the time you get around to watching it because it started filming in 2008, so all the zingers about affordable healthcare have the wind taken out of their sales at this point as it was finally released in a world that has healthcare mandates.

Affordable healthcare, that's a whole different ball game however.

It takes a bit for the movie to get going, but it seems everyone involved is game, and that was like the film's saving grace.

Final Grade: C

Oh The Horror! "The Final Girls"

The Final Girls

Rated PG-13

Starring Taissa Farmiga, Malin Ackerman, Alexander Ludwig, Nina Dobrev, Alia Shawcat, Thomas Middleditch, Adam DeVine

Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson

The Story:

Max (Farmiga) is the daughter of a famous B movie scream queen (Ackerman) who was tragically killed in an auto accident years earlier. Reluctantly attending a viewing of her mom's most famous role, Max and her friends find themselves somehow sucked into the film. At first, Max is thrilled that she gets to spend time with her mom, but as the killer comes calling, none of them may make it out of the movie alive.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love entries into the horror-comedy genre, especially when they are very well done and exceed any and all expectations.

That would be this film.

Not a spoof like the Scary Movie films, but smart and fun like Cabin in the Woods or Scream, this film makes you like it just on the merits that you've enjoyed the genre before and they can take all the obvious clichés and have fun with them and still make an enjoyable film.

I won't say too much about the film to avoid giving away much of the fun that they have making it, but if you like the horror genre, or specifically the slasher films of the 80s, you're really going to like this film.

Or so I hope.

:)

And like those films, I wouldn't even mind the eventual sequel that can't live up to the promise of the original but still brings back a bit of nostalgia.

Final Grade: B+

It's "A Christmas Eve Miracle" That I Watched The Whole Thing

A Christmas Eve Miracle (2015)

Not Rated

Starring Olivia d'Abo, Anthony Starke, Josh Reid, Dina DeLaurentiis, Jon Voight, Johnathan Silverman, William Riley, C. Thomas Howell,

Directed by R. Michael Givens

The Story:

Sharron (d'Abo) is a workaholic who always wants more on her plate, often to the detriment of her marriage to Dustin (Starke) and their two kids (Reid, DeLaurentiis). On a vacation during the holidays, the innkeeper (Riley) overhears Sharron's wish that the kids had better parents and that she could have had a more successful career like she wanted.

Be careful what you wish for.

Where to begin on this one?

A spin on It's A Wonderful Life, and more in line with the thinking of The Family Man , Sharron gets to wake up the next morning and see what life would have been like if she had never had kids.

The problem, the kids she never had are next door and being raised by another family at the lodge and they aren't nearly as well behaved or apparently happy as they used to be.

Sharron desperately wants them back, but she made the wish, and now she's stuck with it.

Unless of course she gets really desperate and wishes everything to be back to the way it was.

I know you've heard me mention how 2 hour movies sometimes don't feel like it...

Well, this 80 minute movie feels like you're there a lot longer than you really are.

And, I'm still not certain why the movie begins, ends and at times in the middle, is narrated by the family dog (Voight).  And unusual narrative choice, to be sure, and that they bother to include it at all is odd and sadly sets the tone for the whole movie.

I'll be kind and not fail my 2nd Christmas movie of the year.

Nah, on second thought...

Final Grade: D+

Oh What A Night... "Jersey Boys"

Jersey Boys (2014)

Rated R

Starring Vincent Piazza, John Lloyd Young, Erich Bergen, Michael Lomenda, Christopher Walken,

Directed by Clint Eastwood

The Story:

Growing up in Jersey, pals Tommy DeVito (Piazza), and Nick Massi (Lomenda) recruit a great singer named Frankie Valli (Young) to join their group. As they get more known in the area, musician and writer Bob Gaudio (Bergen) joins the group and thus were born The Four Seasons.

This is their story.

Odds are good that if you've heard any rock/pop music in your life,  you've heard at least one of the songs by the Four Seasons, whether you knew it or not.

And while this may be a musical, only in the broadest of senses as the songs usually play out as an actual scene where they might be giving a concert or performing a gig or something along those lines.

So if musicals scare you where people randomly break out into song and dance numbers, you'll be perfectly safe here.

At least until the credits roll, then Eastwood has the entire cast do a traditional song and dance number, but it's fun and a nice capper to the end of the film, and is arguably the Four Seasons best known number.

The narrative for the story comes from each of the members as they will break the fourth wall and address the audience for a minute to get the story started. It's an effective device and used minimally so there is little distraction from the story.

All in all, a pretty good tale that makes for an entertaining viewing.

Final Grade: B

A Great Reason To Move..."San Andreas"

San Andreas (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Hugo Johnstone-Burt, Art Parkinson, Paul Giamatti

Directed by Brad Peyton

The Story:

Los Angeles Fire Rescue pilot Ray Gaines (Johnson) grabs a chopper and heads north to San Francisco when a series of earthquakes shakes the San Andreas fault line and threatens to personally kill Ray's daughter (Daddario).

And when it's Mother Nature vs. Dwayne Johnson...

My money's on The Rock.

:)

Look, if you like popcorn disaster movies, you're going to have a pretty good time here.

The special effects are pretty good, and crazy scenarios aside (bay area boat race, I'm looking at you) it's all pretty good stuff.

The strained marital relationship seems a bit contrived simply to set up the damsel in distress scenarios, but it is what it is.

Everyone does a great job with their roles, no tongues planted in cheeks, this is straight-up end of the world how do we survive chaos.  Giamatti excels in his role as one of the scientists that finally comes up with a program that can predict earthquakes...

Just in time to see his machine go absolutely crazy with the mother of all quakes!

If you want to see more disaster on screen than you've seen since the last Roland / Emmerich production, look no further.

Final Grade: C+

Yule Like It A Little Bit..."A Very Murray Christmas"

A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

TV-MA

Starring Bill Murray, Paul Shaffer, Amy Poehler, George Clooney, Julie White, Miley Cyrus, Chris Rock

Directed by Sofia Coppola

The Story:

Bill Murray is set to host a live Christmas special in New York on Christmas Eve as a giant blizzard descends on the city. Paul Shaffer is there to provide the musical support, but Murray is ready to cancel since none of the guests can make it. His producers (Poehler and White) insist that the show must go on. However when the power goes out, Murray is off the hook and spends the evening with an eclectic set of hotel guests and staff.

Remember the old Christmas variety specials from seemingly decades gone by?

This is an homage/send-up of those very same shows, done for the pleasure of Bill Murray.

He helped write it and sets the tone for an odd evening, to be sure.

While Cyrus will get the most attention likely for her actually reserved and nice performance, it's Maya Rudolph who kills with vocals in the special.

It's then a tie for who makes their musical number funnier:

George Clooney or Chris Rock ?

Clooney's bit makes the song work, Chris Rock is in the funniest part of the entire special.

Worth a viewing, especially for fans of Murray.

Doubtful I'll need to rewatch this special every year around this time.

Your mileage will likely vary.

Final Grade: C+

Do Not Move To "Christmas Town"

Christmas Town (2008)

Not Rated

Starring Nicole de Boer, Patrick Muldoon, Gig Morton, Garry Chalk

Directed by George Erschbamer

The Story:

Liz (Boer) is a successful real estate agent who doesn't have time for Christmas to interfere with her sales quota. She gets a request form her father (Chalk) to come visit at the new city he lives in, so reluctantly she takes her son (Morton) and away they go. But this idyllic town has some surprises in store for Liz, Patrick (Muldoon) being the most prominent. By the time their visit is over, perhaps Liz's whole outlook on Christmas will change.

Well you know me, among the many genres of films I love to watch, Christmas movies hold a very important place in my heart.

I love a great Christmas movie.

I enjoy a good Christmas movie.

Christmas movies that aren't that great, well they make me sad.

I'm kinda sad right now.

:)

This movie was generic, boring and downright forgettable.

The acting is stiff, wooden, feeble, you name it, it runs the gamut of non-emotional.

Then the movie decides it wants to take every usual plot point in a Christmas movie (is that really Santa?; defiant child; romance for a single parent...etc. etc. etc.) and shove it all into one movie.

Normally, you pick just one and concentrate on making a good movie on that subject.

The makers of this film would have been wise to try that concept.

Apparently it made it's debut on the ABC Family 25 Days of Christmas spectacular back in 2008 or 2009.

And then hasn't been seen much since.

Well Netflix has it streaming now, so I watched it.

Of all the Christmas movies that fight to get viewed annually at our house, this one isn't a contender.

If you want it on for background noise, so be it, but I bet you could find something much better out there.

Available to stream on Netflix if you're so willing.

Congratulations on being the first Turkey of the Year candidate for 2016.

Final Grade: D

The Struggle Is Real..."The Great Food Truck Race"

The Great Food Truck Race (2010)

TV-PG

Hosted by Tyler Florence

The Story:

From the Food Network, here comes another reality series where this time, Food Trucks race around America trying to sell their dishes in different communities. Whoever makes the least amount of money goes home.

Naturally, as it is a game show/reality show hybrid, nothing is that simple, so challenges and obstacles will be issued and needed to be overcome by each of the teams.

So yes, here I come, late to another party that started 5 years ago, but I don't care.

:)

That, is the beauty of Netflix.

And apparently, the offered up the 3rd season first (and looks like they worked backwards from there) when I watched.

What's the big deal about that you ask?

Apparently, the 3rd season took a bunch of people who wanted to own a Food Truck, and gave them a truck and let them create.

To the winners, $50,000 AND the keys to their truck! 

Pretty sweet gig, and the right team actually won.

It's a great way to take the plunge into the show though.  These teams and people are learning their trade on the fly as they are all stepping out of a real kitchen and into a food truck together, so there is a lot of growth and failure (and drama) that may not exist for owners/operators of trucks already.

Or maybe I'm wrong, I'll have to check out the other 2 seasons to find out.

Final Grade: B

Pleasant Surprise..."St. Vincent"

St. Vincent (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Bill Murray, Jaeden Lieberher, Melissa McCarthy, Naomi Watts, Chris O'Dowd, Terrence Howard,

Written and Directed by Theodore Melfi

The Story:

Oliver (Lieberher) and his mom (McCarthy) move in next to Vincent (Murray). He's obnoxious, crass, and just about anything else you can imagine not wanting in your neighbor. As Oliver tries to adjust to his new school and being bullied, fate brings these two together as Vincent ends up watching Oliver after school. A  bond begins to develop between the two as both of their lives change for the better.

Imagine a strange amalgamation of The Karate Kid or just about any other movie where a mentor takes a kid under his wing.

Then tip it over, shake it around, and you have St. Vincent.

Yet it works.

In a weird, strange sort of way.

Yet at the same time, Vincent learns just as much from Oliver and the two bond over the course of the movie.

It's both fun(ny) and dramatic. Sad and uplifting.

The things I take away from watching the film:

a) It's my favorite role that I've seen Melissa McCarthy in. Ever. She gets to use her sense of humor, but instead of dialed up to 11 like in everything else I've seen, she's got this one scaled back to about a 6, and it works. It works so well in fact, I wonder how and why she hasn't tried this before. A little of her brashness goes a long way.
b) It's Bill Murray's best role in ages as well. He's an a-hole with little redeeming qualities when we are first introduced to him. Then, like the proverbial onion, as Oliver and the audience gets a chance to get behind those layers and walls that Vincent has built over the years, the entire opinion of the man changes, even if the man himself doesn't. Totally at least.

Jaeden Lieberher also has the task of having the 2nd most amount of screen time and carrying his half of the storyline, sometimes with Murray, much of the time without, and the kid nails it. Not bad for his first movie role, and hopefully he enjoys a nice long career to come.

I would also be remiss to mention that the wonderful Chris O'Dowd kills it with his brief, but plot-needed character of the Priest who gives the assignment that culminates in the film's third act and delivers the emotional payoff the film has been building towards.

Good stuff if you missed it last year.

Final Grade: B+

It's An Entire World Against Adam Sandler. He's Used To It. "Pixels"

Pixels (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage, Michelle Monaghan

Directed by Chris Columbus

The Story:

In the 1980s during an arcade championship, the action is recorded and sent into space as part of a time capsule of life in America should any alien life wonder what's going on down there. Now, they've come, and they took the recordings as an act of war! So it's up to Brenner (Sandler), Ludlow (Gad) and Eddie (Dinklage) to try and save the day at the request of the President of the United States (James) The stakes are high, because they will be battling the aliens and the first team to lose 3 lives, it's Game Over for real.

I've grown really tired over the years about people who complain an awful lot about Adam Sandler movies.

They aren't funny.
He's not funny.
He can't act.
They're stupid.

Give. Me. A. Break.

Or better yet, do better.

It's a free country, let's see what you've got.

If you don't find Adam Sandler to be funny, that's your right as a citizen of Planet Earth.  But to say his movies aren't funny or aren't any good is an absolute lie.

Some of the best times I've had watching movies with my family have featured Adam Sandler in them.

The Wedding Singer.

Billy Madison.

Bedtime Stories.

Mr. Deeds.

That's 4 off the top of my head.

While Pixels doesn't quite hit the level of those films, it was still a fun ride.

Watching the video games that we all played and loved as kids (and still do) come to life as an actual life-threatening device was pretty darn amusing in the grand scheme of things.

So really, Adam Sandler movie reviews are rather pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Either you're going to see it, or you're not.

Nothing will ever change your opinion, and I can't help it if more than half of America is wrong.

Seems like we already prove that every 4 years when we vote already.

:)

Final Grade: C+

Ho Ho Ho...Here We Go! "Jingle All The Way 2"

Jingle All The Way 2 (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Larry the Cable Guy, Santino Marelli, Brian Stepanek, Kennedi Clements,

Director: Alex Zamm

The Story:

Larry (the Cable Guy) is in a pickle this holiday season. His daughter Noel (Clements) won't tell him what she wants, but will mail her deepest desire to Santa. Larry has been watching her new step-dad (Stepanek) give her everything he never could, and it's eating him up. So perhaps opening just one little letter will give Larry the advantage he needs to win back his daughter's love.

A sequel in name only, since Larry replacing Schwarzenegger seems highly improbable, this direct to DVD offering isn't as bad as you might fear or suspect.

Of course, I was also no great fan of the original Jingle All The Way, so adjust your review reading accordingly.

If you're a fan or can at least tolerate Larry, then you're going to be able to sit through this film with little to no pain at all.

If you find Larry to be overdone and tiresome, then you're likely in for the longest night of your life.

Me?

I have no problems with Larry, he's funny, and he seems sincerely genuine as an affable goof with a good heart.

In a way, this sequel also outdoes the original because in the original, the kid really did want the toy.

In this one, the toy is wanted by the parents out of a misunderstanding.

It's cute, it's sweet and fun.

While I'm not going to rush out and buy it, I'll commend WWE Studios for snapping up the franchise and trying to do something with it.

If pressed to watch a Jingle All The Way during the holidays, I would opt for this one over the original.

Final Grade: C

Better Late Than Never..."The Flash: Season One"

The Flash (2014)

TV-PG

Starring Grant Gustin, Candice Patton, Danielle Panabaker, Carlos Valdes, Rick Cosnett, Tom Cavanagh, Jesse L. Martin,

The Story:

Barry Allen (Gustin) has grown up after a tragic childhood accident that claimed the life of his mother and saw his father wind up in jail. Raised by police detective Joe West (Martin), Barry pines away for the lovely Iris (Patton) but she thinks of him more as a brother than a potential love interest. When a freak accident occurs at STAR Labs, Barry winds up in a coma, and when he awakens 9 months later, he discovers he has superhuman speed. Aided by Dr. Harrison Wells (Cavanagh), Caitlin Snow (Panabaker) and Cisco Ramon (Valdes), they help Barry learn what he can do, as he tracks down others who were affected that night, and have decided to use their abilities in the pursuit of evil.

I don't usually watch TV, but when I do, it's on Netflix, and it's usually awesome.

So too is The Flash.

The amusing thing, everything that I don't like about the DC movie universe, is non-existent in the television universe.

It's light. It's fun. It's interesting. There is character development and characters that you actually care about.

Sure, there's drama, but there isn't a dark, somber brooding where you really begin to disassociate with the characters and begin to not really care about them.

Halfway through Season 1, and The Flash is living up to the hope and promise that I wanted it to have but was afraid I would be disappointed by it.

Little worry there after all.

In fact, the only thing that really has gotten on the nerves of the test audience at my house, Iris West is a bit of a spoiled self-centered brat. It appears the writers are trying to correct that as the series moves along, so that's a good thing.

My knowledge of The Flash from the comics isn't that great, having read only a few bits from the Mark Waid and Geoff Johns era, so I get to be surprised when certain characters names are mentioned and then I get to match them up to their costumed persona later on.

And it's great fun watching Cisco give these codenames out to the characters.

In fact, a lot of the enjoyment from the series is that Barry has a great support team from both STAR Labs and Detective Martin from the police department. They're all helping him adjust to his powers while helping him be a source of good for Central City.

And with the team-ups with Arrow, that's helped make me decide that perhaps that's the next TV show to watch when I've finished this season of The Flash.

Season 1 currently streaming on Netflix.

Final Grade: B+

The 2015 Turkey Of The Year Is...

First, thanks to my 2nd oldest for crafting today's image. She rocks!

Now, on with the countdown.

Another year has come and gone, and I've racked up my share of bad movies.

Amusingly, the 17 movies or TV shows that I raked across the coals are almost always my most read reviews.

Apparently you all like to feel my pain.

:)

So a quick reminder on how I make my choices:

I want to be entertained.

That's it, that's all.

I normally give all movies 20 minutes to woo me, but there are some occasions where I have to hit the eject.

However, most of those are low/no budget films that are trying to appeal to some demographic that clearly isn't me.

And since they have no budget, they really aren't going to be mentioned more than once on my site.

No, instead I want to celebrate the big duds that we all heard about, and maybe were excited to go see in a theater or at least at home.

And then you watch it unfold, and it can either be a trainwreck of epic proportions that you can't believe saw the light of day and cannot turn away, or so bad it's got to come out immediately.

So walk with me down memory lane and take a look at the Worst of the Worst that I endured between Thanksgiving 2014 and Thanksgiving 2015.


Honorable Mention:

Mr. Peabody & Sherman - No, not the movie, the dreadfully unfunny and ugly animated streamer on Netflix. Luckily, I normally countdown just the big budget films, so this one is safe. But boy, was it bad...

Now, on to the films:

6) Fury - Originally given a C-, I had a "what was I thinking moment" and downgraded it further. I'm not sure what's worse, a bad war movie, or a boring war movie. I'll pick boring. Because bad, you can write that off as "well, they tried." But boring?  A war movie should never be boring. Sure, you can have quiet moments in the film, but with a cast like this, I want to feel for the characters. I want to feel bad when they get picked off, instead of rooting for them to die so the end of the movie can get here that much sooner.

5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -  What a spectacular mess. Some of my kids actually enjoyed this one for what it is, but I just couldn't wrap my head around this one. That there will be a sequel...ugh... But big, muscle bound steroid turtles just aren't my vision of what the turtles could, and should be. They weren't that funny, the voice acting left a lot to be desired, and it had Megan Fox. How many franchises can one woman ruin?

4) A Million Ways To Die In The West - I simply have to realize that Seth MacFarlane's over the top crude humor is just not my cup of tea. A little goes a very long way in my book. A 30 second gag is one thing, but 90 minutes of it is just a bit much. Were there funny parts? Sure. Again, he's got a great sense of humor, he just dials it past 11, and after a while, that one trick pony isn't as funny as it used to be. Most people I know loved this one. I'm happy for you.

3) Into The Woods - When I don't like a musical, you know you're doing it wrong. And this one hit it wrong almost from the word go. The musical numbers aren't catchy and you don't walk out of the movie humming or whistling their melody. Like the film, they are forgettable. Except Johnny Depp's number, which is just nothing short of creepy. You have to take a shower after watching that scene. If I gave out an award for worst actor, Depp would win, because this isn't his only turn on the list.

2) Chappie - I had high hopes. They were repeatedly dashed to bits as this movie wore on (and on...) Overlong. Over-stupid. They put RoboCop and Short Circuit in a blender, and sucked all the fun and heart from both of those movies and gave us this instead. Hugh Jackman tries his best to save the film from being anything short of boring, but it comes way too late in the movie to redeem this sucker.

And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for:

1) Mortdecai - The only film on this list that I simply could not endure another minute of. If it got better after the first 15 minutes, please don't tell me. Let me forget that I even tried to make it through this film. A waste of talent, and all involved should be ashamed of themselves. The set back the world of cinema at least 20 years. Unfunny from the start, and Johnny Depp is becoming one of my least favorite actors of all time by churning out dull and lifeless performances. All the hate that people direct towards Tom Cruise? You're looking the wrong way people, at least Cruise puts out decent films, regardless of how you feel about his acting chops. The best thing he's done since the cameo in 21 Jump Street, I had to search all the way back to Chocolat (2000) to find a movie he's starred in that I've enjoyed. Not a great track record.

So there you have it. The worst films of 2015.

Here's to another great year of movies, which will undoubtedly have a few clunkers.

I hope to see you all back here next year to revisit those.

The countdown begins...now!

A Little Quirky...A Little Cool... "Murder Of A Cat"

Murder of a Cat (2014)

Unrated

Starring Fran Kranz, Nikki Reed, J.K. Simmons, Blythe Danner, Greg Kinnear,

Directed by Gillian Greene

The Story:

Clinton (Kranz) investigates the murder of his beloved cat. This leads him to suspect Greta (Reed) and bring in the Sheriff (Simmons) to arrest her. However, it turns out the cat led a double life and hung out with both of them when he would wander from home to home. But someone murdered the poor feline, and these two want revenge! However, the death could be a cover-up for something even more sinister!

To be fair, this one started off a little slow, and a lot of odd.

Clinton is a kid in an adult body, so I don't know if they were trying to tackle a special needs case, or just that of a slacker.

:)

But I sat back and gave this one the full 20 minutes, and then I continued to stick around until the end.

They actually start the movie at the end of the movie, and then backtrack.

For a crime/suspense/comedy, they should have used a different camera angle and not revealed much of the suspense at first, but what can you do?

Just saw that it is streaming for Amazon Prime members as well.

Final Grade: B- / C+ range