How The West Wasn't Won..."The Ridiculous 6"

The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Not Rated

Starring Adam Sandler, Terry Crews, Nick Nolte, Rob Schneider, Jorge Garcia, Taylor Lautner, Luke Wilson, Will Forte, Steve Zahn, Harvey Keitel, Danny Trejo, David Spade, Jon Lovitz, Vanilla Ice,
Directed by Frank Coraci

The Story:

Tommy (Sandler) was raised by Indians after his mom died. When his father (Nolte) finally finds him after all these years, he is quickly taken away by Cicero (Trejo) to find the money that he thinks is his. Tommy goes after his dad and discovers that he has 5 brothers from other mothers and they ride into the West to get $50,000 in order to save their dad's life!

Wow, this one goes off the rails quickly and never fully recovers.

I'm usually the first in line to proclaim that an Adam Sandler isn't that bad.

However, for whatever reason, this movie starts off very slow, and very unfunny. There are amusing bits, but when you sign on for a movie like this, with this much talent on display, there needs to be laughs, not smiles when a joke or gag hits the screen.

Perhaps it is the legacy of Blazing Saddles that will forever make any western comedy feel something less than great, but a lot of this has to fall onto Sandler's shoulders as co-writer of this piece.

He's assembled a great cast, many of whom I don't mention in the credits above simply because of how many people are in this film for a bit part or larger.

The other is the running (or dragging) time of this film.

2 hours?!

No.

Comedies should clock in at 90, maybe 100 minutes. At nearly 120 minutes, most of them laugh free, that's interminable for a comedy.

Add to that the horribly annoying Taylor Lautner's Forrest Gump inspired idiot brother, I wanted to punch something just about any time he's on screen.

Which was way more often than he should have been. Which could have cut back the running time of the film considerably.

:)

That said, there are a few pieces that actually work in this film.

Most notable, John Turturro's arrival as Abner Doubleday who decides to create a little game, and proceeds to make up the rules as he goes along.

That scene is funny, and actually feels like how the rules of baseball were likely made up!

Plus, Vanilla Ice as a strangely inspired version of Mark Twain is ridiculous, but in a good way.

I want to give these guys a break, with the whole 4 picture exclusive to Netflix deal, but with a cast and crew that should know better, I think I'm going to have to downgrade this to a Turkey of the Year candidate.

Final Grade: D+

How Sweet To Fall In Love Again Every Morning..."50 First Dates"

50 First Dates (2004)
Rated PG-13 for language and situations

Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Sean Astin, Blake Clark

Directed by Peter Segal

The Story:

Henry Roth (Sandler) loves the ladies, but hates the commitment.  So he lives a life in Hawaii of love 'em, and send 'em back to the mainland.  But then he meets Lucy (Barrymore) and the two hit it off.  In fact, Henry thinks he could possibly be in love.  When he meets Lucy again, she blows him off like she doesn't even know him.  That's when we discover that Lucy was in an accident that robs her of any memories since the day of the accident.  How far is Roth willing to go to prove his love to Lucy?

In 1994, Sandler and Barrymore teamed up for the instant classic, The Wedding Singer.  It was a very funny romantic comedy that just sparkled all the way through, thanks to the great chemistry between Sandler and Barrymore.

Ten years later, the duo reunited, and while it didn't achieve the results of their first collaboration, it wasn't too bad.

The jokes are more crude and less sweet this go-round, so that has squashed the replay value in the house.

Which is a real shame, because the love story is one of the sweetest to watch unfold.

While Lucy's family goes through elaborate measures to ensure Lucy adjusts as easily as possible to her memory loss, it's Henry who chooses to stick around and endure the daily heartbreak of losing the love of his life.

In the end, Lucy lets Henry go, because she knows it's unfair to keep him tied down to her and her accident.

But no love story can end that badly, and what follows may actually bring a tear to your eyes.

I know it gets me every time.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own it, but again, it doesn't get nearly the airplay as the first team up.

In The Navy..."Down Periscope"

Down Periscope (1996)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Kelsey Grammar, Lauren Holly, Rob Schneider, Harry Dean Stanton, Bruce Dern, William H. Macy, Rip Torn

Directed by David S. Ward

The Story:

Lieutenant Commander Dodge (Grammar) has rubbed some of his superiors the wrong way.  Finally given his chance to Captain a submarine, he is given a relic of a diesel class submarine that is so old, they have to bring on a civilian veteran (Stanton) just to help them know how to work the thing.  Dodge is given a test to elude and defeat a nuclear sub piloted by Commander Knox (Macy) but Rear Admiral Graham (Dern) wants to ensure Dodge fails, and he is saddled with a misfit crew of sailors nobody else wanted, including Executive Officer Pascal (Schneider) and the Diving Officer (Holly), the first female submarine candidate for the Navy.  If Dodge fails... he's out.  Heaven help him.

I don't think I've seen this one since it was released.

Caught it again recently, and it's not bad.

A really good cast with an adequate script, there's nothing ground breaking to be had, but it's an acceptable diversion of 90 minutes.


Grammar flexes his muscle as a leading man on the silver screen, and his comedic instincts are as sound as the years he honed his timing on Cheers and Frasier.

Plus, while it is a comedy, they at least treat most of the war games between the submarines straight- humourous, but not slapstick.  Dodge and his crew actually use strategy and cunning to outmaneuver superior technology.

It's a classic underdog story, and those are almost always entertaining.

Not a bad one to revisit if you see it on cable as you flip channels.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I haven't bought it by now, so I probably won't rush out now, but I have no problem if I were to see it on again in the future

A Romantic Comedy WIth No Romance? "You May Not Kiss The Bride"

You May Not Kiss The Bride (2011)
Rated PG 13 for language and violence

Starring Dave Annable, Katharine McPhee

The Story:

Bryan (Annable) is a pet photographer who accidentally injures a cat that belongs to the wife of a Croatian crime boss (Ken Davitian).  Well, perfect timing because he is having troubles getting his daughter Masha (McPhee) citizenship.  So he tells Bryan he must marry her and then divorce her in a year so she can marry Brick (Vinnie Jones), his right hand man.  Oh, he also better keep his hands off his daughter as well.

Another gem dug up through Netflix!

I try and sort through the romantic comedies periodically to find something that is suitable for a date night or fun for the whole family.

I offer to let them watch horror films with me, but no takers thus far.

So this was the next one that Netflix said was the most enjoyed by the fans, so I gave it a whirl.

I was not disappointed.

Even better: Neither was anyone else in the house! 

Win-win!

Not watching a whole lot of television, I was not too familiar with either of the leads.

So...We're Married Now...

No, all of the names (or faces) took all of the smaller roles.

Mena Suvari is Bryan's assistant who becomes obsessed with him once he announces he's not interested in her.
Kathy Bates kills it, too briefly, as Bryan's mother.
Then there's Tia Carrere who doesn't look a day older than when I last saw her in True Lies (1994!).  Playing her cousin, Rob Schneider in probably his most subdued comic role ever.

Jungle Fun For The Whole Family

Lots of other familiar faces sprinkled throughout.

It's a cute little movie, and I'm glad we saw it.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I see this one being added to the library before too long...