I Waited 40 Years For This? "Halloween (2018)"

Halloween (2018)

Rated R

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, and of course, Michael Myers

Directed by James Gordon Green

The Story:

For the past 40 years, Michael Myers has been institutionalized for the violent murders in Haddonfield Illinois on Halloween night, 1979. However, thanks to some Podcasters and a poorly timed prison transfer, it appears Michael might be getting out of jail free and returning home for some unfinished business.

I'm not even sure I know where to begin with this one.

Soooo... Michael has been in prison for 40 years, wiping away every sequel we've plunked down money (and time) to enjoy (or ridicule) since the original came out.

That's too bad, because I still dig Halloween 2.

Thankfully, that does include the Rob Zombie reboots.

:)

The movie opens with podcasters arriving at Michael's doorstep and they pull out his mask that the D.A. let them borrow.

At this point, I'm thinking, what are the odds the D.A. still had this evidence from 40 years earlier? And if they did, why on earth would they give it to a pair of podcasters?

I know, that thinking seems silly, but at this point, I became disconnected to the film, and never really got back into it.

The plot points lined up exactly, beat for beat at that moment, and you can tell exactly how, where, and why everything is about to happen.

Meanwhile on the other side of Illinois, little Laurie Strode (Curtis) is all grown up and spends her day in Sarah Conner cosplay.

The horror film is out the window at this point as it jumps back and forth between thriller, action movie and oh yeah, let's be a horror film every 10 minutes.

People do die at Michael's hands, literally, but many were given so little screen time, I just didn't care.

I'm not referring to the "odes to the original" deaths.  Those I got the symmetry for why they were done.

However, the best friends, the kids being babysat... there was no emotional connection with them to the point that we fear for their lives and hope/wish they might survive.

If anything, Halloween (2018) simply reminds me of how well Halloween (1979) really was.

Summer Camp + Lake + Masked Killer...Seems Familiar... "Spirit Camp"

Spirit Camp (2009)

Rated R

Starring Roxy Vandiver, Julin, Katy Rowe, Kerry Beyer

Written and Directed by Kerry Beyer

The Story:

Nikki (Vandiver) is forced by her parole officer to go to a Spirit Camp with other cheerleaders who want to excel at cheerleading. Nikki has no desire to be there, and the other girls don't want her there either.  Then, one by one, cheerleaders start meeting their grisly ends as a killer runs loose in the woods, just like he had done years earlier.

Kerry Beyer's love letter to 80s horror films would fit alongside any 80s horror franchise nearly seamlessly.

There are red herrings, misdirection, and buxom cheerleaders getting picked off one by one.

I've said it before, but my only real complaint with horror movies is when the killer doesn't have any real motive or backstory.

Sadly, I feel that is once again the case with this film.

I knew who the killer was pretty early on, though the first kill made it seem completely impossible, so that throws logic out the window at the end of the film.

That complaint aside, the movie was pretty fun and totally watchable.

Which is always a good thing, as far as slasher flicks go.

And yes, thankfully, as it is an ode to 80s films, the killings are not graphic gross-outs that took over the horror genre with the likes of Saw and similar films.

I want a kill, not an in-depth autopsy.

> :  p

Currently streaming on Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+ 

So Similar...Still Different... "Silent Night"

Silent Night (2012)

Rated R

Starring Malcolm McDowell, Jaime King, Donal Logue

Directed by Steven C. Miller

The Story:

A deranged Santa is stalking a Midwestern town, killing people who have been naughty this holiday season. A deputy (King) and the sheriff (McDowell) are trying to catch him before he can kill again.

Let's go back a few decades.

The year is 1984 and a movie was released called Silent Night, Deadly Night. It was about a boy who saw something horrible happen to his parents, and he grew up and snapped one Christmas Eve. Dressed as Santa, he goes on a killing spree.

Needless to say, in the 80s, when this movie was announced, all of the usual suspects protested and claimed it was the end of Western Civilization as we knew it to have a movie about a murderer dressed as Santa.

Apparently murderers were fine, but this crossed some ethical line.

The protests of course did nothing but provide free publicity to the movie, and it became a minor cult hit.

I saw it.

I still remember it, it was pretty good, for an 80s horror /slasher flick.

I knew it spawned a sequel, which I didn't find quite as good, but yeah, I watched it.

I didn't know that it spawned an additional 3 sequels after that.

Not sure how excited I am to catch up on the franchise.

: )

So fast forward to 2012, and this film comes along which is a reboot...reimagining... whatever you will of the film.

Doesn't follow the original note for note, but there are some subtle, and less subtle homages during the film.

This film focuses on Aubrey (King) who is tied to the killer in ways she won't realize until the bitter end. The movie offers up several red herrings on who the killer might be...until that person winds up dead, so it will keep you guessing until the end.

McDowell has a great bit of fun as the macho sheriff who vows to keep his town safe.

Again, like the franchise that inspired it, nothing that reinvents horror cinema, but deserving of at least a viewing, if for McDowell's performance alone.

Final Grade: C

Nothing Says Spring, Quite Like "A Christmas Horror Story"!!!

A Christmas Horror Story - (2015)

Rated R

Starring William Shatner, George Buza,

Directed by Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett Sullivan

The Story:

4 holiday horror stories intertwine on Christmas Eve as Dangerous Dan (Shatner), a local radio DJ plays some tunes and gets some holiday feelings off his chest.

The first story has some teens break into their school to shoot a documentary about some students that died in that place previously.

Next, there is a family that goes to visit their grandma, but by behaving poorly, unleash Krampus to wreak vengeance upon them.

Third, a couple take their little boy into the woods to chop down the perfect tree. The boy gets separated from his parents, and they find him much later in a hollow tree. He comes home but is acting much, much differently than before.

Finally, Santa is dealing with the zombie apocalypse as the elves have begun to turn and they are hunting him down. It's kill or be killed with Christmas on the line!

First, they were wise in going the anthology route with this film, because none of the stories, at least as written or presented was strong enough to carry a 90 minute horror film.

It is quite possible they could have been fleshed out and expanded, but for an anthology film, this works.

The problem or the best part is, depending on the viewer, is the cutting back and forth between the stories. Some stories are stronger than others and getting pulled out of that story and having to wait 3 turns for the next bit to see what happens next can be annoying.

Or, if you don't mind the switches, it can be the perfect remedy to create suspense where there might not be any.

Nothing too remarkable here to make this a must-see or repeat viewing during the holiday season (Halloween or Christmas) but good enough for at least one go round.

Final Grade: C

Oh The Horror! "The Final Girls"

The Final Girls

Rated PG-13

Starring Taissa Farmiga, Malin Ackerman, Alexander Ludwig, Nina Dobrev, Alia Shawcat, Thomas Middleditch, Adam DeVine

Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson

The Story:

Max (Farmiga) is the daughter of a famous B movie scream queen (Ackerman) who was tragically killed in an auto accident years earlier. Reluctantly attending a viewing of her mom's most famous role, Max and her friends find themselves somehow sucked into the film. At first, Max is thrilled that she gets to spend time with her mom, but as the killer comes calling, none of them may make it out of the movie alive.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love entries into the horror-comedy genre, especially when they are very well done and exceed any and all expectations.

That would be this film.

Not a spoof like the Scary Movie films, but smart and fun like Cabin in the Woods or Scream, this film makes you like it just on the merits that you've enjoyed the genre before and they can take all the obvious clichés and have fun with them and still make an enjoyable film.

I won't say too much about the film to avoid giving away much of the fun that they have making it, but if you like the horror genre, or specifically the slasher films of the 80s, you're really going to like this film.

Or so I hope.

:)

And like those films, I wouldn't even mind the eventual sequel that can't live up to the promise of the original but still brings back a bit of nostalgia.

Final Grade: B+

Avoid Being Drafted Into "Frankenstein's Army"

Frankenstein's Army (2013)
Rated R for language and violence

Starring Karel Roden, Joshua Sasse, Robert Gwilym, Alexander Mercury, Luke Newberry

Directed by Richard Raaphorst

The Story:

World War II is coming to a close, and a Russian unit pushing through into Germany discovers a secret lab.  Inside, Nazi scientists were experimenting Victor Frankenstein style and combining the bodies of the dead with pieces of machinery to create unstoppable weapons in a last-ditch effort to win the war.  Will the Russians save the day, or is humanity doomed?

Based on the grotesque true story...

No, not really.

Based on someone's pretty crazy imagination though, this film does pretty good for a B movie trying to make a horror/World War II film.

For the most part, they completely succeed.

Shot almost entirely as a handheld documentary/found footage affair, you know you're going to be subjected to shaky camera syndrome and the usual jumps and starts that go with that genre.

It also plays like a hybrid cross between Medal of Honor or Call of Duty in the first person shooter.

Opening doors, diving behind things for cover.

Great work on the monsters.  They seem to be a perfect balance of nightmare yet completely plausible, and that adds to the drama and tension, especially as they close in on the Russians.

This film is currently available to stream on Netflix for those interested.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough for me.

Everything Is Bigger In Texas...Even The Body Counts. "Texas Chainsaw"

Texas Chainsaw (3D) (2013)
Rated R for language, gore, violence, gore, chainsaws and gore

Starring: Heather Daddario, Dan Yeager

Directed by John Luessenhop

The Story:

In 1974, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released and shocked audiences with Leatherface and his cannibalistic clan.  This is the sequel.  Forget all other iterations labeled Texas Chainsaw that came between then and now.  So after the events of that film, the townsfolk have arrived and burn down the house and kill everyone inside.

Except a little baby girl who was raised by a less than loving couple.

Years have passed, and the girl, Heather (Daddario) receives word that her great grandmother has passed and has left her estate to Heather, the last of the Sawyer bloodline.

So Heather and a few friends head to Texas to claim their prize, but it turns out, had Heather read the letter, she'd realize that there was one more cousin still alive...

Okay, I admit, I had to look up the movie history of this franchise, as I have seen apparently every other-ish release in this series.

From what I gathered, this picks up after the original movie, but would take place around the time of the 2003 remake, so hey, you've got me.  I get the Jason or Freddy timeline, but Leatherface has me stumped.

The original film, well by the time I saw it, it was the late 80s and I was already spoiled on Friday the 13th, Halloween and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.  By the time I got around to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre?

Yawn.

So boring...so not scary.

Thankfully, when this movie starts, they attempt to relive the precious few scary moments of that film and then hit the ground running. 

I thought it seemed awfully familiar! :)

Knock Knock...I Mean... Bzzzz Bzzzzz

Not seeing it in 3D, I don't think I missed out on much.  A few blood splatters and things coming directly at the screen aside, I don't think it enhanced the overall viewing experience.

Now, I will admit it's been a few years since I took Biology, but I also don't think you can have a thick blood trail that drags for literally miles.

Also, not a whole lot of tension or build, just a lot of BOO jumping out of the shadows and a kill.

Been there... done that.

A lot.

There was a nice twist on the family relationship at the end of the film, as well as a sense of who was really more evil, the townsfolk or Leatherface's family?

If you do watch, fast forward to the end of the credits for a pretty amusing postscript scene that brings Heather's story full-circle.

:)

Final Grade: C+

Would I Watch It Again or Buy It? No to both questions.  I'm sure I'll see the next sequel, or at my rate, the one after that, but this one didn't strike any chords with me that said "gotta have it!".

Friday the 13th? Bring on the Horror Movie! "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane"

All the boys may love Mandy Lane, however, Mandy Lane does not feel the same way!

The Story:

Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is the only kid in high school with a last name.  Her best friend Emmet (Michael Welch) is a dork.  She drags him along to a pool party with the class hunk, who promptly dies.  This causes a rift between Mandy Lane and Emmet as they drift apart and Mandy Lane makes new friends.  Now, her new friends want to have her over to a secluded ranch for a sleepover.  The three boys are all hoping to get with Mandy Lane, but there is something much more sinister waiting for them at the ranch.

Will Mandy Lane and her friends survive?

Oh Mandy Lane, it almost becomes comical having to type the first and last name of this character throughout the review, but I am trying to stay true to the vision of the movie.

I don't think she was ever just called Mandy.  Apparently that would cue up visions of Barry Mannilow.

This is the first film from director Johnathan Levine.  No real complaints, though some of his choices (blurred focus... the fight shooting directly into the sun...that's just wrong on so many levels) weren't my cup of tea.

However, he more than redeemed himself with Warm Bodies, so whatever I didn't like has been rectified. ;)

So just reading the brief story synopsis, you have probably already surmised who the killer is, and you'd definitely be right.

But... why?

The why might (or might not) actually surprise you.

Amber Heard does a fine job in the lead role of Mandy Lane.  She seems familiar enough, and checking her other movie credits, I've seen many movies that she's been in, but I don't think she's ever been "the star" so I guess that's why she seemed familiar, but not overly so.

The movie itself is closer to a thriller than a horror movie.  But that's just being nit-picky on my part.

Probably not enough kills to warrant the horror label, and the way most of the cast is dispatched, aside from the first victim, which is executed poorly (pun!) aren't typical of the genre.

Save your 90 minutes for something else.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sorry, a C horror movie doesn't stand a chance in this category.  This guy barely liked Mandy Lane.