The Name Sounds Familiar... "Poltergeist"

Poltergeist (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Saxon Sharbino, Kyle Catlett, Kennedi Clements, Jared Harris, Jane Adams

Directed by Gil Kenan

The Story:

The Bowen family moves into a house. The house is haunted. The house eats the youngest child (Clements). The Bowen's bring in the one man (Harris) who might have a chance at saving their daughter.

They're back.

Okay, that's a short and to-the-point synopsis of the movie.

First, hands up everyone who saw and remembers and probably loves the 1982 original film.

Cool.

Me too.

That said, it's been about...30-ish years since I last saw the film.

I'm still haunted by the fried chicken leg scene.

:: shudder ::

And of course, everyone remembers "They're he-re"

So why remake the film?

Money.

Money talks, and like it or not, Poltergeist is a "franchise".

The funny thing, get rid of the "They're he-re" line and name this film something else entirely, more people would probably have enjoyed it and/or bashed it less for being a "horrible remake" of a beloved 80s movie.

At this point, every haunted house movie is derivative of Poltergeist, or the Amityville Horror or any of a number of films that have come before.

Much like the RoboCop remake, or Total Recall, when they keep referencing names or trying to recreate scenes instead of just taking the idea of the film and doing a "what can we do now?" approach to the film, it causes too many memory reflexes for many viewers to just sit back and enjoy the show.

Thankfully, I was able to enjoy this movie for what it was, and only had a few flashbacks to the original film.

Sam Rockwell, as always, makes a great anchor for the film as we not only suffer with his ordeal of trying to save his family after the ghosts make themselves known, we feel his pain as he tries desperately to take care of his family before that even happens.

Harris also makes a great ghost hunter and provides much needed humor and seriousness as the needs arise.

You know, when it's all said and done, this was still a rather well-made story and can stand on its own two feet next to the original.

Final Grade: B-

What If Robocop and Short Circuit Had A Baby? "Chappie"

Chappie (2015)

Rated R

Starring Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver

Written and Directed by Neil Blomkamp

The Story:

Deon Wilson (Patel) takes a destroyed peace-keeping robot and imbues it with personality. Enter Chappie (Copley) who is like a child and has to be taught everything. The problem, he's taught some bad things by some questionable people. But in that machine somewhere is some heart, which is more than can be said for contractor Vincent Moore (Jackman) who wants to take his version of the the robot peacekeeper to the streets, no matter the cost.

Seriously.

I swear, the title of my review had to be Blomkamp's pitch to the studios.

Or at least some hybrid Robocop/Short Circuit mashup.

If you don't see similarities, it's because you haven't seen either of the other movies.

Both of which were made in the 80s, and made way better, both in terms of acting, directing, writing, and very likely, special effects.

This is another 2 hour (2 HOUR!) Blomkamp snoozer that is long on boredom and short on everything else.

When I stack this with Elysium which I was generous with my C- review, and the never-reviewed because I fell asleep trying to watch District 9...

Well, I have no faith in him as a writer or director anymore.

So the next time I see his name on a project, I will likely leave it out of, or put at the bottom of my queue to be watched when I've seen everything else ever made.

By the time the movie even got remotely exciting, it was the last part of the movie as Jackman was firing up his E.D. 209

I kid you not.

Way too little, much too late. And embarrassingly derivative.

If he was hoping to match the charming success of Real Steel, he misjudged badly.

Final Grade: D+

You Look Very Familiar... "RoboCop"

RoboCop (2014)

Rated PG-13 for violence and language

Starring Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson,

Directed by Jose Padilha

The Story:

In the future, OmniCorp has been sending their cyborg troops overseas as peacekeeping soldiers ensuring real people aren't dying anymore.  Only America is refusing to allow these tin men to patrol the streets, and with pressure on politicians by OmniCorp president Sellars (Keaton) and crusading journalist Pat Novak (Jackson) are lobbying to get a RoboCop trial program off the ground.  The missing ingredient: the human factor.  When they receive the gift of a cop that was targeted for assassination (Kinnaman), they hardwire him into the RoboCop program.

This is not your father's RoboCop.

Or mine, for that matter.

The original, satirical take on America in the 80s is still a science fiction classic, however, my fears, as I voiced in my review last year of the original RoboCop (1987), were thankfully unfounded.

While many of names remain the same, there are subtle, and less subtle shifts in tone and behavior to the original.

Whereas Total Recall tried to change the story completely, the over-reliance of the original ended up casting a shadow that the remake could not crawl out from under.

RoboCop takes the least amount of the original and transplants it, without the satiric tone, into a possible future America that could likely exist.

Why wouldn't we want to send robotic soldiers to fight wars and save hundreds/thousands of human lives?

You would think it would be a no-brainer, but politicians want human capability for discernment to be included.

Kinnaman brings life to the suit, literally if not figuratively.  Not familiar with his work, the big names all float around as secondary figures.

At the end of the day though, if I am only going to watch another RoboCop with my kids (assuming they want to watch it again...), it would end up being this version.

Simply because the tone and violence is dialed waaaaay back this go round.

The revamped RoboCop is a perfectly serviceable science fiction/action flick for a new generation.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It actually wasn't too bad.  I don't think I'll rush out to own it, but I could watch it on cable in the future.

Corruption In Detroit? Time For An "Assault On Precinct 13"

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
Rated R - Violence & Language

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne

Directed by: Jean-Francois Richet


The Story:

It's New Year's Eve and a Detroit police station is going to close its doors one final time.  Sgt Roenick (Hawke) and a skeleton crew of police are holding down the fort when a prison transport carrying notorious mob boss Marion Bishop (Fishburne) arrives seeking shelter from a snowstorm.  Things go from bad to worse when the station is besieged by vigilantes looking to take out Bishop.  Imagine Roenick's surprise when he learns that those killers outside are actually cops, looking to take out Bishop before he can testify that there are dirty cops in Detroit!

Where's RoboCop when we need him??!!

"At Least They Aren't Remaking This Classic!"

I apologize, I've never seen the original version written & directed by John Carpenter from the 70s, so I am unable to compare and contrast the two films.

How Dare You Not Watch Our Version!

That said, I've watched this film on two different occasions.

I've enjoyed the film both times.

It's tightly scripted, well-acted by an impressive cast that also includes Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo and Maria Bello.

Someday I Will Voice An Animated Sloth And Become More Famous Than All Of You!!

It's a thriller that ratchets up the suspense with each passing moment.  The only hope the precinct has of survival is to arm the prisoners and work together to stay alive.

Of course, cops and robbers don't exactly trust each other, so it's an uneasy alliance at best.

Add to that the layer of intrigue by having the cops as the ones on the outside attempting to kill everyone inside, and you've got a pretty gripping tale.

It's a B movie that doesn't attempt to do anything but entertain the audience and tell a decent story.

On that note, it succeeds brilliantly.


Final Grade:  B

Would I Watch It Again?  Yes, it's entertaining and clips by at a decent pace.

Would I Purchase It?  I've had it on my wish list for almost a decade now.  Perhaps someday I will pull the trigger?

Dead or Alive, You're Coming With "RoboCop"

I'd buy that for a dollar!

The Story:

In the future, Detroit is pretty much on its last legs as a drug filled haven for criminals.  The cops are gunned down frequently, and corporations are looking to be the future of law enforcement.  It is here that Officer Murphy (Peter Weller) gets gunned down, and is transformed into RoboCop.  From there, it's a question of a bit of Murphy's humanity remaining in the machine as he tracks down the bad guys that killed him, and leads him to the big reveal of who really is behind the crime...

Big Corporations!

Wait, this is the future?  I'm pretty sure that could sum up America, especially Detroit, right now.

: )

My back to back love reviews for the great city of Detroit looks back at the 80s masterpiece: RoboCop!

Paul Verhoeven's first American film remains his greatest work.  Ultra-violent, ultra-funny, it takes swipes at Americas capitalism and other issues that were prevalent in the 80s and still carry some weight today.

The satirical news and commercial spots that interrupt the film are as good today as they were over 25 years ago.

Weller does great as the stoic cop.  His performance is nearly robotic, even before he undergoes the operation. :)

 His lack of presence is made up for with scenery chewing bad guys, among them, Ronny Cox and Kurtwood Smith.

Yep, I have to say it, Robocop is a science fiction/action classic in the genre.

I fear that the retread/reboot of the franchise is going to stall out as badly as the Total Recall did.  Nobody is clamoring for a remake, and when you take a cult classic and try and update it, you have to throw out all the stops and make the remake stand on its own two feet.

We will see.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't own this one, just never have gotten around to getting it, and I think this is only the 3rd time I've seen it since the first time I rented it back in the day... but it's still pretty darn awesome.