He's No Ant-Man! "Downsizing"

Downsizing (2017)

Rated R

Starring Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz, Hong Chau, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis,

Directed by Alexander Payne

The Story:

Paul (Damon) is an occupational therapist who decides that they could have a better life if he and his wife (Wiig) were to undergo the new shrinking process that makes them roughly 5 inches tall so that humanity can lessen their detrimental impact on the earth. However, once you undergo the process, there is no going back...

Speaking of going back, if I could, I would go back and skip watching this.

Overlong... overly tedious... it was an interesting concept for a trailer, but loses its way in a long rambling 2+ hour narrative that literally does a whole lot of nothing.

A horribly wasted in casting Jason Sudeikis is in the movie for about 3 minutes and offers nothing more than a familiar face onscreen. Wiig as well is barely in the film, so any thoughts you had about this being an amusing dramedy, those dreams are shattered and gone early in the film.

Hong Chau is the feisty fireball that gives Paul a new purpose in his life to help the poor and sick with what medical training he has.

Waltz thankfully injects some much needed energy in the proceedings when he is around, but it's often a case of too little, too late.

So far for 2019, it looks like Damon is going to pull off a rare double-entry onto the Worst Films of the Year listing on Thanksgiving.

I'm sure he's too busy swimming in his mountains of cash to care.

:)

Edgar Rice Boredom ... "The Legend of Tarzan"

The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Alexander Skarsgard, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Margot Robbie

Directed by David Yates

The Story:

John Clayton (Skarsgard) is implored to return to Africa where he grew up as Tarzan because there is great unrest as a man named Rom (Waltz) is up to nefarious treachery. Reluctantly, he returns alongside his wife (Robbie) and the expedition leader (Jackson).

I'm not really sure what happened next, because everyone that was sitting there trying to watch this film was bored to tears.

I turned it off when Tarzan was reunited with the apes who raised him.

:: yawn ::

Much like the flop John Carter, apparently Edgar Rice Burroughs just doesn't translate well to the big screen.

It looked really beautiful, has a wonderful cast that did their best...

But man, totally didn't connect with us at all.

Maybe if they had jazzed things up with some Phil Collins in the background?

:)

Final Grade: D+

Kicking The Tires On The Old 007 Franchise... "Spectre"

Spectre (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Dave Bautista, Lea Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes, Monica Belluci, Naomie Harris,

Directed by Sam Mendes

The Story:

Bond (Craig) discovers that there is a secret organization named SPECTRE that has been behind much of the assignments that he's had over the years. He works to infiltrate their headquarters and meets the mastermind, Blofeld (Waltz). However, if he can't prove anything, it is quite possible that this will not only be his last mission as 007, that all of MI6 will be taken offline thanks to technology that shows spies to be horribly outdated.

The sweeping epic reboot of the Bond franchise comes full circle as Blofeld and SPECTRE finally arrive.

Thankfully, not a moment too soon.

For me, this is the best of the Craig Bond films since the stellar Casino Royale. I was underwhelmed with both Quantum of Solace and Skyfall was an improvement, but this felt more like it.

Apparently Craig is getting bored or tired of the role of James Bond, and it's been showing onscreen for some time as his Bond is beginning to not have the ruthless edge of a killer spy, but that of a bored actor who seemingly can't believe he's making another one of these films.

I don't know, the Bond Actors club is a pretty exclusive set, and I would think most actors would love to be known for playing the role.

We'll see what happens going forward with the franchise.

Waltz said he'll come back if Craig does.

Craig seems to no longer prefer suicide to another outing as James Bond, so I guess we'll find out in about 2 more years.

Otherwise, they've cobbled together a great support team for Bond, whoever is sporting the tux, going forward.

Final Grade: B

We've All Had Some "Horrible Bosses 2"

Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)

Rated R

Starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Chris Pine, Christoph Waltz

Directed by Sean Anders

The Story:

Nick (Bateman), Kurt (Sudeikis) and Dale (Day) return, but this time they have invented a product and they are going to be their own bosses! They pitch it to billionaire Bert Hanson (Waltz) and he loves the idea and orders a boatload of them. The boys get down to business creating the product, all on their own dime, but when they take the product to Mr. Hanson, he declines, having already created a similar product. The guys plot their revenge, and that involves taking Hanson's son (Pine) hostage and ransoming him so they can save their company. Of course where these guys are concerned, nothing ever goes according to plan.

Having been pleasantly surprised at how funny the original Horrible Bosses turned out to be, I was eagerly anticipating the sequel, and hoped it wouldn't be a disappointment.

Long story short, if you liked the first one, there is little doubt that you will enjoy this follow up.

It's rude. It's crude.

But hey, that's where half the charm lies.

Sudeikis is manic, and his delivery is just killer. Listening to him deliver his lines simply kills throughout the film.

Day was a revelation for me from the first film, as I don't believe I had seen him in anything prior to that. As the exasperated one of the trio, he and Sudeikis provide a whirlwind of emotions and delivery that allow Bateman to be "the sane one" in a series of insane moments.

This works, and doesn't make Bateman have to do all the heavy lifting like he does in some other movies.

It provides a nice balance between the 3 stars.

Aniston and Spacey return in brief, but memorable parts that help drive the narrative.

I could think of worse things to endure than the prospect of a third go-round with this group.

Final Grade: B

Good Movie. Disgusting Candy Bar..."The Three Musketeers"

Welcome to the 423rd retelling of the Dumas classic...

Give or take.

The Story:

The classic tale of Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans) meeting d'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) and rallying together to fight the evil forces of Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Walz) has been filmed a few times and is well known by now.  

 

What could possibly be added that wasn't there before?

Flying airships?

Sold!!

So really, Dumas' classic gets skewered and changed around haphazardly with every iteration so that each of the characters often ends up doing something that their counterpart actually did... blah blah blah... you get the idea.  Regardless of the telling, the 4 end up fighting together and saving the day, that part normally remains intact.

Filling out the star-studded cast is Milady (Milla Jovovich) and the Duke (Orlando Bloom) among others.

The costumes, set designs and action sequences make it a period piece with a sense of action and adventure instead of a rigid history lesson designed to lull you to sleep.

How well does it stack up against the rest of the filmed versions?  Again, this will be entirely dependent on your love of flying airships.  :)  Or, your enjoyment of the story, or the other versions that have been filmed.  Until this point, the only other version I've endured more than once has been the Disney version with Sheen, Sutherland, O'Donnell and Platt.

A key part of the film centers around DaVinci's blueprint for a flying ship, equipped with cannons galore.  While highly improbable, it does make for a fun final act of the film.

I watched this one, it kept me entertained, that's good enough for me.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: If it played again, I could certainly watch it.  Don't know that I'll rush out to buy it though.

What In The Wide Wide World of Sports Is "Django Unchained" Doing Here?

How the South Was Won...

The Story:

Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave who is rescued by Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), a bounty hunter.  He needs Django's help identifying three bounties, and offers to give him some of the reward.  The two get along quite well, and Schultz takes him under his wing.  Django proves to be rather adept at being a bounty hunter, and asks for Schultz's help to find his wife ( Kerry Washington) who has been sold to a southern plantation owner (Leonardo DiCaprio).  The two pull off an elaborate scheme to get to attempt to buy her freedom, but there's a good chance not everyone will walk away from this plan unscathed.

Dear Quentin Tarantino-

I apologize to you on behalf of all of the things I've ever said about your movies.

I didn't enjoy Pulp Fiction, I'm not even sure I finished it, and was unimpressed with Kill Bill.

So I believe I added him to the short list of directors whose work I do not like, and therefore will avoid.

Then I watched Inglourious Basterds, and rather enjoyed it.

So I'm now in a conundrum, has Tarantino's work shifted over time, perhaps showing me a growth in his work?
Was I simply missing out on the greatness that people profess of his work, or was I just not feeling that great when I watched Pulp Fiction?  I do remember being sick that day...

Or do I only respond well to genre films from him, From Dusk till Dawn (horror), Inglorious Basterds (WWII) and now Django (Western) ?

I'm not sure.

But I really enjoyed this film.

Jamie Foxx did a great job as the slave turned gunslinger, and owned the role.  I read that it was designed for Will Smith, but he turned it down because he thought Django wasn't the main character, or because he doesn't kill the bad guy (DiCaprio) at the end.

First, I'm glad that Will Smith didn't take this role.  It would have been too hard to see the guy who grinned his way through Wild Wild West try and become a hardline bounty hunter.  While he can go dramatic, I think he's seen too much as the fun actor to bring the edge that's needed to this part.

Plus, he's wrong.

The REAL bad guy of this film is not DiCaprio.  It's Samuel L. Jackson's character.  Take him out of the equation, and everyone walks out of this film alive.

Never have I rooted for a character to get killed more in a western, and his death was spectacular, and well deserved.

Jamie Foxx works well as the star of the film by allowing everyone else to overshadow him, something that I don't think Will Smith's ego would allow.

One of those, Christoph Waltz is simply amazing in his role as Dr. Schultz.  This is his second Oscar under Tarantino's hand, and he deserved both, as he was the most mesmerizing character in both of those films.

DiCaprio goes full on Johnny Depp mode as the bad guy, and I think he really plays well as the bad guy.  It's a role very unlike him, and I think Tarantino brought out the best in his actors.  Reading the background of the film, they say he used a real glass and actually cut his hand in one scene so that real blood and anger were on his face.

Method actors, gotta love 'em!

: )

Finally, I would be remiss to say that I would like to thank Mr. Tarantino for balancing out two of the most gruesome scenes ever filmed (The Dog and the Mandingo Fight) by trimming their grossness, but also by putting in two of the funniest scenes not in a Western by Mel Brooks.

1) The first big shootout in Candie Land.  The guy screaming in pain as he was shot repeatedly by accident... sorry, that was just hilarious.  That whole gunfight was epic and well done.
2) The Regulators getting to ride, but first discussing their masks.  Hahahahahaha... that was so politically incorrect, it was awesome.


My hat is off to you sir, thank you for an excellent movie.

I may have to revisit your catalog and see if my initial opinion was wrong, or if we've just both changed over the years.


Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could be persuaded to do either.  Be advised, the film is rather lengthly (nearly 3 hours) but sure doesn't drag like it's 3 hours.