Running On Empty..."The Transporter: Refueled"

The Transporter: Refueled (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson, Loan Chabanol, Gabriella Wright, Tatiana Pajkovic, Wenxia Yu, Radivoje Bukvic

Directed by Camille Delamarre

The Story:

Frank Martin (Skrein) is getting set to spend some time with his dad (Stevenson) when he is hired by a quartet of lovely ladies and winds up the driver for a bank heist. Now he must help them all to survive a vengeful Russian kingpin (Bukvic) who wants his money back, and the girls...dead!

Pfft.

This isn't Frank Martin. Frank Martin was Jason Statham. This is Martin-lite, because Skrein is decidedly less charismatic than Statham in the role.

I would have preferred that Martin be retired, and introduce a whole new Transporter. That would have been something, because at least you could shrug your shoulders and say, well, at least it's a new character.

But no, apparently Frank Martin is going to be the new James Bond and just get recast every time they want to move forward with a new actor.

Assuming they go forward with more sequels with Skrein behind the wheel, the guy has got to loosen up a bit. He brings no joy or soul to the role at all.

Wooden seems about right.

If not for Stevenson, who seems to relish any and all film roles he ever has regardless of how large or small, there would be no soul or joy to this film at all. He saves it from being a waste of time to put on the scrap heap.

Choose wisely on how to proceed with the franchise, because you're off to a very shaky start.

Final Grade: C

The Future Is Decided By Facebook Personality Quizzes... "Divergent"

Divergent (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Ashley Judd, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Miles Teller, Kate Winslett, Tony Goldwyn

Directed by: Neil Burger

The Story:

In a dystopian future (is there any other type?) the survivors of a war that ravaged the world (or at least America) have been divided between 5 factions to keep the peace.  You have Amity (Peaceful), Erudite (intelligent), Abnegation (Selfless), Candor (Honest) and Dauntless (Brave).  Each has its role in society and keeping the peace, and when children come of age, they take a test to see what their aptitude is, but they still have one last choice that they can make at a ceremony.

However there are those that the test does not work on.  They are called Divergents, and they are being dealt with, permanently.

Welcome to the latest Young Adult fiction to be turned into a trilogy (or larger) movie franchise.

The story centers around Tris (Woodley) who is a Divergent growing up in Abnegation but just doesn't feel it like her parents (Judd & Goldwyn).  At the ceremony, her brother chooses Erudite and Tris goes for the Dauntless.

Needless to say, their parents are a bit crushed.

The Dauntless then initiate the newbies into their ranks under the lead of Eric (Courtney) and Four (James).  Only they are upping the ante and kicking out the worst recruits as the tests get harder.

If you are kicked out of a faction, you become one of the faction-less, which is the future buzz-word for the homeless.

Not only does Tris have to survive her training and remain with Dauntless, once she learns that she'll be targeted if anyone finds out she's a Divergent, well, that takes the last half of the movie to unspool.

Believe me, it's a long movie also.

While she doesn't have the charisma or chops of Jennifer Lawrence, the rest of the cast, especially Four, try and keep the audience engaged.

However, some poor casting choices on several of the characters end up making several people irrelevant in the overall scheme of things because they are very difficult to tell apart from one another.

Final Grade: C/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I didn't love it, but I hardly hated it.  I'll be back to check out the sequels.

Good Movie. Disgusting Candy Bar..."The Three Musketeers"

Welcome to the 423rd retelling of the Dumas classic...

Give or take.

The Story:

The classic tale of Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans) meeting d'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) and rallying together to fight the evil forces of Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Walz) has been filmed a few times and is well known by now.  

 

What could possibly be added that wasn't there before?

Flying airships?

Sold!!

So really, Dumas' classic gets skewered and changed around haphazardly with every iteration so that each of the characters often ends up doing something that their counterpart actually did... blah blah blah... you get the idea.  Regardless of the telling, the 4 end up fighting together and saving the day, that part normally remains intact.

Filling out the star-studded cast is Milady (Milla Jovovich) and the Duke (Orlando Bloom) among others.

The costumes, set designs and action sequences make it a period piece with a sense of action and adventure instead of a rigid history lesson designed to lull you to sleep.

How well does it stack up against the rest of the filmed versions?  Again, this will be entirely dependent on your love of flying airships.  :)  Or, your enjoyment of the story, or the other versions that have been filmed.  Until this point, the only other version I've endured more than once has been the Disney version with Sheen, Sutherland, O'Donnell and Platt.

A key part of the film centers around DaVinci's blueprint for a flying ship, equipped with cannons galore.  While highly improbable, it does make for a fun final act of the film.

I watched this one, it kept me entertained, that's good enough for me.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: If it played again, I could certainly watch it.  Don't know that I'll rush out to buy it though.