And The Award For Most Overrated Superhero Film Of 2017...."Logan"

Logan (2017)

Rated R

Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Stephen Merchant, Boyd Holbrook

Written and Directed by James Mangold

The Story:

In the future, all of the X-Men are dead, except Logan (Jackman) who now cares for an ailing Professor X (Stewart). With no new mutants to train, and Xavier's mind slowly slipping away making him a danger to himself and the world, Logan is trying to get them away from humanity once and for all. Complicating matters, a little girl named Laura (Keen) who was mutated in a lab to be just like Logan, only smaller and much cuter.

Oh, and pretty much everyone dies by the end.

How's that for a big #@$#$ing spoiler?

Well there's your second hint, the first was the title of this @#$@#!$@ing review in the first place.

Thanks to the success of Deadpool, everyone decided that the finale to Hugh Jackman's take as Wolverine would also be rated R.

Why?

So they could show him sticking his claws in people's faces, cutting them to ribbons.

And saying %$&^

A lot.

Apparently $#@#$ you Mother#$#@#@$ is script shorthand for lazy R rated movies.

I get it.

I've climbed up on this soapbox so many times, usually for the R rated comedy raunchfests.

I chastise those for lazy writing, because anyone can F*&$#@#ing cuss, ooooh, how edgy, but if you're going to do it with jokes, the jokes themselves need to be funny, sans language.

So too, in this edgy mutant action-thriller-drama, so too must everything be interesting and not just a way to keep a generation of fans away from the final installment because, well, @#$# you!

Unlike Deadpool, who had only once been seen in a movie form before, and frankly, it sucked, Wolverine has been with us for what, 27 or so movies at this point. Every X-Men movie, and several of his own films. All rated PG-13.

17 years Jackman has been doing this, and he is still the best there is at what he does.

No, I'm putting the blame squarely on the feet of the #@$@#ing lazy screenwriters who frankly bored me with their overuse of language in an otherwise pedestrian script.

You want a good X-Men/Wolverine movie, go see First Class or Days of Future Past. Some might even say X2, but I haven't seen that in so long, I couldn't tell you for certain anymore.

Nope, at the end of the day, I have to grade this final version of Logan against the likes of Batman vs. Superman, and say that when I go to watch a superhero movie, I go to be excited and entertained.

This didn't do it for me, and frankly, if I were to want to watch a Logan solo adventure, I'd rather rewatch X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Yeah, it's got it's issues (oh boy, does it have issues) but it was depressing because of how it was executed.

This version of Logan set out to be depressing from the word go, and succeeded all around.

Therefore, I can't give a seal of approval to a movie that knowingly turns its back on the millions of kids who grew up on Jackman as Wolverine just to make an edgy, adult thriller that kills him off at the end.

#@$@# that.

Final Grade: C..maybe C-...no, I'll have to go D+

William...Shatner Presents..."Chaos.....On The Bridge"

Chaos On the Bridge (2014)

Unrated

Written and Directed by William Shatner

The Story:

In 1987, the fledgling UPN wanted to revive the Star Trek franchise and have it boldly go where no previous Star Trek had gone before: First Run Syndication! Go with William Shatner as he talks to the actors, directors and producers who struggled to get the franchise off the ground.

I liked Star Trek growing up. Watched the original series in syndication after school when the cartoons, Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island were over.

I've even seen a few of the movies.

In 1987, I think I saw an episode or two of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I've probably seen 5-7 total episodes from their 7 year run. And that's most likely bits and pieces, but rarely an entire episode. I know I saw Generations as well.

You would think that a revival of a franchise that a generation loved would be smooth sailing, especially when you have Gene Roddenberry at the helm to oversee the production.

Well, it turns out that one of the biggest obstacles to the show even seeing the air was Roddenberry himself.

It's an eventful, fun and surprising hour of your time at the backstage politics of bringing a show to life, especially back then for a network trying to establish itself as a real channel.

This was before the days of Netflix, Amazon and dozens of other channels trying to launch their own shows to grab your attention.

So it's a time capsule of another time trying to launch a show that would itself become beloved for another generation.

Shatner makes for a genial host, only inserting himself into the proceedings when he really feels it necessary, otherwise he simply walks us from point to point on how the show went from an idea, to a show, to a franchise.

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B- (your love of Trek could push this one much higher)

It's About Time...Travel... "X-Men: Days of Future Past"

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

The X-Men are being wiped out by the Sentinel program. To save themselves, Professor Xavier (Stewart) and Magneto (McKellan) join forces with the remaining X-Men, they run a risky gambit of sending Wolverine (Jackman) back in time to find Professor X (McAvoy) and Magneto (Fassbender) to try and stop Mystique (Lawrence) from making a huge mistake that will cause the creation of the Sentinels.

Confused?

Don't be.

It will all make sense before the whole thing is over.

And in the process, they build on the great work from X-Men: First Class and bring the entire X-Men franchise back to relevance and in direct competition with Marvel Studios.

Nothing like a bit of friendly competition.

If Marvel can't get their franchises all back under one roof (boooo), then I'd like to at least see them be successful and well made.

I was never really thrilled with any of the Wolverine or X-Men movies until First Class came along.

Now, with Days of Future Past, Fox resets the entire franchise and is able to go forward (or backward) and do anything they want.

Bravo, well played.


Fox better enjoy this while they can, because it is just about time for them to begin recasting all of the roles once again.

I'm not sure how many more turns in the claws Jackman has, but he's leaving some really big shoes to fill.

Good luck.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Enjoyed it, bought it. One of the 10 Best of 2014. Looking forward to the next installment.

Now Playing..."X-Men: Days Of Future Past"

X-Men- Days of Future Past (2014)

Rated PG-13 for language, violence, and Hugh Jackman's bum

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Peter Dinklage, Ellen Page,

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

In the future, the war between humans and mutants is nearing its end.  What is left of the X-Men make one last stand.  If they can use Kitty Pryde's (Page) talents to send Wolverine (Jackman) back to 1973, he can avert the assassination of Dr. Bolivar Trask (Dinklage) by Mystique (Lawrence).  The government will capture Mystique and use her unique DNA to create the Sentinel program and use those weapons to wipe out mutant-kind.  Wolverine will need to reunite Xavier (McAvoy) and Magneto (Fassbender) to help him stop Mystique, and hopefully change the future.

Well, how about 20th Century Fox.

In one fell swoop, they fixed everything that was wrong with the X-Men/Wolverine franchise with a bit of a soft reset button.

All it took was a bit of time travel, and a willingness by the franchise to embrace the awesomeness of X-Men: First Class and move forward.

Initial reaction?

This is probably the best X-Men movie yet. 

I may have to watch First Class again just to make sure, but it was pretty darn good.

I was never that enamored with either of the first X-Men movies, and I didn't hate the 3rd nearly as much as every other human.

Totally disappointed with the first Wolverine solo movie, mostly for the total butchery of Deadpool.

:: sniff ::

But again,  one fell swoop, and everything can now be different.

The best parts of the movie:


1) Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver - Awesome. Hilarious.  Now that we've seen what the X-Men can do with him, let's see what Joss Whedon can do in The Avengers.

2) Blink - She was awesome, and short-lived (once upon a time) in the comics.  She was awesome in the film.

If you've abandoned the franchise at any point, come on back.  If you've never set foot in the franchise... you might get a little confused, but I think the plot is solid enough not to lose you too much, give it a try.

And yes, sit through the entire credits.  You'll be treated to a scene that does two things:

1) It sets up the next X-Men movie.
2) It answers an age old question about how something was made.

:)

And yeah, I still don't get people that get up and leave at the end of comic book films!

I felt bad for this one lady and her kids.  The husband/dad was growing impatient at having to sit and watch the credits roll.

As the credits just about finished, he told her "there's not anymore credits to put a scene into, let's go".

Jerk.

So they left, and were out of the theater just as the teaser played.

Ah well...

I think I'll have to give the X-Men the ranking of 2nd best comic-book movie of the year so far.

Moving ahead of Spider-Man 2, but trailing Captain America.

Let's see how the Guardians do in August.

Final Grade: A-/B+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'll be adding it to the X-Library this Christmas.