And The Award For Most Overrated Superhero Film Of 2017...."Logan"

Logan (2017)

Rated R

Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Stephen Merchant, Boyd Holbrook

Written and Directed by James Mangold

The Story:

In the future, all of the X-Men are dead, except Logan (Jackman) who now cares for an ailing Professor X (Stewart). With no new mutants to train, and Xavier's mind slowly slipping away making him a danger to himself and the world, Logan is trying to get them away from humanity once and for all. Complicating matters, a little girl named Laura (Keen) who was mutated in a lab to be just like Logan, only smaller and much cuter.

Oh, and pretty much everyone dies by the end.

How's that for a big #@$#$ing spoiler?

Well there's your second hint, the first was the title of this @#$@#!$@ing review in the first place.

Thanks to the success of Deadpool, everyone decided that the finale to Hugh Jackman's take as Wolverine would also be rated R.

Why?

So they could show him sticking his claws in people's faces, cutting them to ribbons.

And saying %$&^

A lot.

Apparently $#@#$ you Mother#$#@#@$ is script shorthand for lazy R rated movies.

I get it.

I've climbed up on this soapbox so many times, usually for the R rated comedy raunchfests.

I chastise those for lazy writing, because anyone can F*&$#@#ing cuss, ooooh, how edgy, but if you're going to do it with jokes, the jokes themselves need to be funny, sans language.

So too, in this edgy mutant action-thriller-drama, so too must everything be interesting and not just a way to keep a generation of fans away from the final installment because, well, @#$# you!

Unlike Deadpool, who had only once been seen in a movie form before, and frankly, it sucked, Wolverine has been with us for what, 27 or so movies at this point. Every X-Men movie, and several of his own films. All rated PG-13.

17 years Jackman has been doing this, and he is still the best there is at what he does.

No, I'm putting the blame squarely on the feet of the #@$@#ing lazy screenwriters who frankly bored me with their overuse of language in an otherwise pedestrian script.

You want a good X-Men/Wolverine movie, go see First Class or Days of Future Past. Some might even say X2, but I haven't seen that in so long, I couldn't tell you for certain anymore.

Nope, at the end of the day, I have to grade this final version of Logan against the likes of Batman vs. Superman, and say that when I go to watch a superhero movie, I go to be excited and entertained.

This didn't do it for me, and frankly, if I were to want to watch a Logan solo adventure, I'd rather rewatch X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Yeah, it's got it's issues (oh boy, does it have issues) but it was depressing because of how it was executed.

This version of Logan set out to be depressing from the word go, and succeeded all around.

Therefore, I can't give a seal of approval to a movie that knowingly turns its back on the millions of kids who grew up on Jackman as Wolverine just to make an edgy, adult thriller that kills him off at the end.

#@$@# that.

Final Grade: C..maybe C-...no, I'll have to go D+

The Wait Is Over..."The Best Movies of 2016"

This is it.

The moment you've been waiting all year for!

Or at least, the moment I've been waiting all year for.

A look back at the best of the best of the best...sir!(Men in Black)

With just over 200 reviews this year, there were 21 movies that made my cutoff score of B+ or higher to be considered on this final countdown.

Much like the Turkeys of the Year:   2016 Turkeys  roughly 10% of the movies I watched were terrible, another 10% were great.

21 Excellent. 21 Lousy.

That leaves 80% of the movies as some sort of average, yet enjoyable, entertainment.

Which by Hollywood standards, sounds about right.

: )

Again, I can live with those odds.

So again, here's the movies that entertained me the most this year.

I watched them once, at least, and would be willing to spend my hard earned money to buy them and watch them again whenever the mood strikes me.

Without further adieu....

10) Keanu

A movie about 2 men who pretend to be gangsters in order to retrieve a kidnapped kitten.

A movie that extols the greatness of George Michael's musical career.

A movie that introduced me to Key & Peele for the first time.

A movie that begins the countdown for the best films of 2016.

I can't help it, an entertaining movie is an entertaining movie, and if you told me that those first 2 sentences would be on my Best of the Year list, I would have laughed and said, seriously?

I never even saw the trailer until a month before I finally saw the movie.

The trailer looked good.

The movie was even better.

There were a few moments of fatigue like they weren't quite sure what to do next with the story, but overall, for a first feature, it was very well done.

I'm eagerly awaiting a follow-up, whether or not it's Keanu 2.

9) Hunt For The Wilderpeople 

This little New Zealand charmer is simply great.

A coming of age dramedy about a boy that the system doesn't want who finds a foster family that finally wants him, and he begins to feel like it's home.

Then it all comes crashing down, and he decides to run away, faking his own death to convince the authorities not to look for him...

:)

Things then continue to go askew from there.

It's funny, it's poignant.

It's genius.

It's one of those perfect everything happens, yet nothing happens types of movies, but you're so engrossed with the characters you hate to see the film end.

Director Taika Waititi's 2nd straight year in the Best of the Year countdown, and if he brings this energy and fun to Thor: Ragnarok, it's quite possible he'll be back again!

8) Kung Fu Panda 3

Kung Fu what now?

How in the name of Walt Disney, did Dreamworks beat the far superior Inside Out and Zootopia?!?

Easy, I didn't exactly find those 2 to be that superior to this one.

I was but moments away from ejecting Inside Out because Sadness was soooooo annoying.

And Zootopia was cute and all, great message, blah blah blah... but it's not something I feel I can just pop in and watch any time.

Rewatchability is key for an animated film.

And that leads us to Jack Black's triumphant farewell (??!!) to us as Po, the panda with a heart of gold and never-ending tummy.

I saw the last 1/3 of the movie, about 3 times before I ever saw the beginning.

For the record, I'm also the guy that started it that last time, in a room without kids.

That's how enjoyable this franchise has been.

The jokes are fun, the action sequences are great, the voice cast is outstanding, and the series has snuck in a healthy dose of heartwarming feelings over the years.

So enjoy your Disney and Pixar, I'll be watching Kung Fu Panda multiple times before those make a 2nd play at our house.

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

7) The Shallows 

To say it's the best shark movie since Jaws is a bit of a backhanded compliment.

There really haven't even been that many good shark movies since then.

So it's not like there are dozens of great ones, and this one just blows them all away.

This is the first time anyone has really channeled the fear and tension that Spielberg threw at us back in the day.

She's alone in that water, hurting, and that shark just will not go away!

It was an edge of your seat thriller that kept us glued from beginning to end.

Hopefully it's not another 40 years until a decent shark movie comes along.

And, we'll see if this becomes a franchise...

::sigh::

6) Star Wars: The Force Awakens

What do you get when you remove George Lucas from further meddling in his own franchise?

A return to greatness!

:)

So what if it was a very familiar story, one that seemingly cribbed or downright stole much of the original Star Wars storyline?

That was a good movie, therefore if you're going to pick a Star Wars movie to duplicate, you choose from the first 3, not the "first 3".

An influx of interesting new characters and a sprinkling of characters past, it was a great way to kick off the new year, and was the first official movie to garner Best of the Year accolades.

Looking forward to seeing what is in store for the next chapter...and beyond!

5) Trumbo 

I thought seriously about discussing an actor of the year as 2016 drew to a close.

Had I done so, it would have been Bryan Cranston, hands down.  Every movie that I saw him in this year was better simply by his involvement.

But his turn as Dalton Trumbo, the blacklisted Hollywood writer in the 50s/60s who continued his efforts to care for his family while doing what he loved was phenomenal.

That he lost the Academy Award to Leonardo DiCaprio will go down in entertainment history as one of the many injustices the Academy has dealt to the entertainment industry over the years.

Which leads us back to this film, where a reputed Communist goes on to create some of the most beloved films in American history, and is unable to receive recognition all because of his political beliefs, which by the way, have nothing to do with his job.

It seems like something like that is so ancient and foreign in the 21st century, but if you think people aren't still eviscerated for their political beliefs, you've been living under some heavy rocks with no wi-fi for too long.

4) Spotlight 

Normally I let the dramas slide off my end of year lists, as I tend to go towards the more entertaining films, than the ones that pack an emotional punch.

However with Spotlight, I felt that would be a grave injustice to a great movie, an inspired cast and a horrific subject that deserves one last hurrah for a much deserved Academy Award winning Best Picture.

To the Spotlight team that helped uncover the Catholic church cover-up of priests that were preying on innocent kids for years, bravo.

Spotlight is currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

3) Deadpool 

Deadpool was amazing.

It was the role that Ryan Reynolds was born to play, and the best X-Men movie that Fox has ever made.

Made on a shoestring budget, it packed more action and laughs than most of the 80% of movies that didn't make this list.

It was rude, crude, hilariously funny and filled with more gags, jokes, killings and insanity per minute than any other film in likely the history of ever.

It also had a film, that much like Guardians of the Galaxy (and not Suicide Squad) helped tell the story and get the audience in the moment.

So why the $%#$%$# didn't Deadpool rank higher?

2) Doctor Strange 

Deadpool, I have come to bargain!

There is probably nobody more shocked than I am right now that not 1, but 2 movies moved in front of Deadpool for the best of the year honors.

Why, and how could I do such a thing?

As I lamented in my original review, Deadpool is not a family-friendly movie, by any stretch of the imagination. So when it comes down to what movie can I pop in and watch any time, with any audience, Wade Wilson has to always move to the back of the line if there are any kids around.

Now, all that said, Doctor Strange was a truly amazing film on its own merits.

Much like Guardians of the Galaxy a few years back, I just rolled my eyes and said "hope it doesn't suck" when the movie was announced.  None were characters I cared for, nor really wanted to see on the big screen.

Then Guardians showed their first trailer, and I was hooked on a feeling, and my worries were over, mostly.

Could it be as good as the trailer?

It was.

In fact, it was my favorite movie of 2014! In case you don't believe me...

Yep, even better than Captain America: Winter Soldier, itself an amazing movie!

However, when I saw the Doctor Strange trailers, I was still non-committal, and frankly thought they were a little boring.

I had planned on skipping it in theaters (much like I did with Avengers: Age of Ultron) and just waiting for Netflix. Then at the last moment, decided to go...

and I was honestly blown away.

It was good. It was funny. It was emotional.

It was another hit for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

It quite possibly could have been my favorite film of the year, but there was just one roadblock in the way....

1) Captain America: Civil War 

Show of hands on who's surprised to see this at the top of my list?

Yeah, I didn't think there'd be any.

: )

It's everything we've come to love from Marvel, with the old Marvel comics twist of the good guys sometimes don't always see eye to eye and need to settle those differences with their fists.

It gave us... The Airport Battle scene.

Quite possibly the best 15+ minutes of action in any Marvel film, combined.

There was witty banter, camaraderie, and emotional character moments.

Characters were further defined, and in the end, both sides were right...both sides were wrong...

It happens in the best of families, and for now, the Marvel Universe's family is torn asunder.

I'm thinking Tony will use the phone in the next movie.

If you haven't seen this one yet, it's been streaming on Netflix since Christmas morning.

Get to it!

: )

I'll see you next year to see what 2017 has in store for us!

The Merc With The Movie..."Deadpool"

Deadpool (2016)

Rated R

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, Leslie Uggams, Ed Skrein, Brianna Hildebrand, Stefan Kapicic

Directed by Tim Miller

The Story:

Wade Wilson (Reynolds) is a mercenary who winds up finding the girl of his dreams, Vanessa (Baccarin). When Wade is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he turns to a place that promises to cure his cancer, and give him amazing powers and abilities to go with his already formidable skills. It is here that Wade becomes the guinea pig for Ajax (Skrein) who manipulates him until Wade's latent mutant abilities are revealed. What kicks in is a healing power that pretty much makes immortal, he will heal from any injury, but the side effect is that his skin is not very easy on the eyes. With vengeance on his mind and Vanessa on his heart, Wade becomes the merc with a mouth that comic fans have loved for the past 25 years, and now the rest of the world is sharing in our joyous rapture...

Deadpool!

Yep, I finally got around to seeing the film.

I figured I would give the rest of a world a couple week head start, and that would also remove the amount of obnoxious fans chattering in the theater.

Worked like a charm.

So, obviously those that know me well enough know that Deadpool is easily my favorite character from the last 25 years, and rivals the likes of Cap, Spidey and Hawkeye as one of my favorites of all time.

Why? He's fun. He's funny. And oh so much more.

He is what you will see on the movie screen, brought to life straight from the comic page.

Reynolds was born to play the role, and it wasn't just by luck that he was cast. The writers of the comic even alluded to Reynolds being the face of Deadpool way back when, long before anyone ever dreamed of Mr. Wilson becoming a movie, let alone the most successful R rated movie, superhero or not, in the history of forever.

All while being done with the smallest superhero budget since Superman or Batman, 2 films that were both made in the 70s/80s.

Yes, an entire century ago!

They made it work with a great script, perfectly cast actors that believed in what they were doing, and believed in the concept of creating the perfect Deadpool movie.

This is easily Fox's best release of any superhero franchise they have the rights to.

Plus, if you saw my Facebook feed, or went on the internet at any point from December until the movie was released, you also bore witness to the genius of the Deadpool marketing team who made the best viral promotion of any movie, ever made.

Genius.

I salute you all!

However, is it the best superhero movie I've ever seen?

Yes...

And no.

IF you're going to make an R rated Deadpool movie, then this is what you're going to get.

COULD they have made this film into a PG-13 movie without watering it down too much?

Absolutely.

Tweak a few scenes slightly, then dial the language back a bit. Have Deadpool utter some nonsensical "Fluffy pink unicorns!" type profanity and that would allow the kids that have grown up seeing Deadpool in the comics and on all the animated Marvel cartoons (as well as all of the superhero toys) a chance to see Wade in action.

But they didn't, and that was their choice.

Will most kids see it anyway?

Absolutely.

My Facebook news feed was filled with stories from everyone who saw it during the opening week seeing lots of 8-10 year olds in the theaters with their parents.

Which tells me they didn't get the memo from Deadpool and Fox that sit this one out and wait until Civil War to take the kids to the movies.

Or, they really don't understand that an R rating should probably be viewed without kids at first, and then decide if you think your child can handle it.

So the knock on Deadpool is it will be a movie that I can't sit back and enjoy with my whole family, like Winter Soldier, Ant-Man, or Guardians of the Galaxy.

Fair enough.

They didn't set out to make a family friendly film, so I can't honestly knock them too hard for it.

I'll just take their + away.
;)

However, anyone that was able to convince their date that it would be a fun romantic comedy, I hope they succeeded because the love story shines through as the entire reason for the movie.

I hope the majority of the cast returns for the sequel(s).

Here's hoping that Deadpool is # 1 again this weekend after 3 straight weeks at the top of the Box Office.

Looks like that ban from China isn't as worrisome as originally feared.

:)

Final Grade: A

Now Playing..."X-Men: Days Of Future Past"

X-Men- Days of Future Past (2014)

Rated PG-13 for language, violence, and Hugh Jackman's bum

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Peter Dinklage, Ellen Page,

Directed by Bryan Singer

The Story:

In the future, the war between humans and mutants is nearing its end.  What is left of the X-Men make one last stand.  If they can use Kitty Pryde's (Page) talents to send Wolverine (Jackman) back to 1973, he can avert the assassination of Dr. Bolivar Trask (Dinklage) by Mystique (Lawrence).  The government will capture Mystique and use her unique DNA to create the Sentinel program and use those weapons to wipe out mutant-kind.  Wolverine will need to reunite Xavier (McAvoy) and Magneto (Fassbender) to help him stop Mystique, and hopefully change the future.

Well, how about 20th Century Fox.

In one fell swoop, they fixed everything that was wrong with the X-Men/Wolverine franchise with a bit of a soft reset button.

All it took was a bit of time travel, and a willingness by the franchise to embrace the awesomeness of X-Men: First Class and move forward.

Initial reaction?

This is probably the best X-Men movie yet. 

I may have to watch First Class again just to make sure, but it was pretty darn good.

I was never that enamored with either of the first X-Men movies, and I didn't hate the 3rd nearly as much as every other human.

Totally disappointed with the first Wolverine solo movie, mostly for the total butchery of Deadpool.

:: sniff ::

But again,  one fell swoop, and everything can now be different.

The best parts of the movie:


1) Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver - Awesome. Hilarious.  Now that we've seen what the X-Men can do with him, let's see what Joss Whedon can do in The Avengers.

2) Blink - She was awesome, and short-lived (once upon a time) in the comics.  She was awesome in the film.

If you've abandoned the franchise at any point, come on back.  If you've never set foot in the franchise... you might get a little confused, but I think the plot is solid enough not to lose you too much, give it a try.

And yes, sit through the entire credits.  You'll be treated to a scene that does two things:

1) It sets up the next X-Men movie.
2) It answers an age old question about how something was made.

:)

And yeah, I still don't get people that get up and leave at the end of comic book films!

I felt bad for this one lady and her kids.  The husband/dad was growing impatient at having to sit and watch the credits roll.

As the credits just about finished, he told her "there's not anymore credits to put a scene into, let's go".

Jerk.

So they left, and were out of the theater just as the teaser played.

Ah well...

I think I'll have to give the X-Men the ranking of 2nd best comic-book movie of the year so far.

Moving ahead of Spider-Man 2, but trailing Captain America.

Let's see how the Guardians do in August.

Final Grade: A-/B+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'll be adding it to the X-Library this Christmas.

It's A Super Weekend...Part Two..."The Wolverine"

The Wolverine (2013)
Rated PG-13 for Violence and Language

Starring Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen

Directed by James Mangold


The best there is at what he does...mostly.

The Story:

Wolverine/Logan (Jackman) has been in seclusion since last we saw him.  He is haunted by dreams of Jean Grey (Janssen) and longs to join her in death.  Lucky for him, Yashida (Hal Yamanouchi) has the resources to give Wolverine that peace, and repay a debt of gratitude from long ago.  Accompanied by Yukio (Rila Fukushima), they return to Japan where he meets Yashida's granddaughter Mariko (Tao Okamoto).  However, when Yashida dies and the Yakuza come gunning for Mariko, it's up to Wolverine to keep her safe.  However, there's one problem... his healing factor appears to be gone, so he's going to get hurt...badly... and may not survive what's coming next.

Ah, much better.

To be honest, I have seen the first 3 X-Men movies, and they get a collective "meh" from me.  Amazingly, I think Last Stand, the most reviled of the three, is my favorite.  It's the one that most approached the appeal of the comics.

Then there was X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

So much potential...  so poorly executed.

"Seriously?"

My biggest beef, you don't cast Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, then sew his mouth shut. 

Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.

Of course, Fox knows they have a cash cow, they just have to keep cranking out these films to avoid having the rights going back to Disney where a proper X-Men film can be made.

"Do I Want To Be In Your Movie?  Let Me Think About That..."

Thankfully, they hit the reset button with X-Men: First Class, easily the best of the entire X-Franchise, and it seems like Fox was at least willing to try and treat the franchise with the respect and care that it deserves to at least try and compete with Marvel Studios for quality superhero movies.

Then the focus turns back to the star of the franchise, Wolverine.

How do they fare this time?

Better.

"That Plane Can't Be A Good Thing..."

Much, much better.

I absolutely loved the flashback to Logan's tenure in a prison camp during WWII, and how he creates his bond with Yashida.  It's very well done, and makes the comic and movie fan wish that the entire Marvel Universe was under one umbrella, because how cool would a WWII movie with Cap and Wolverine be?

Yeah... Pretty cool!













Then we have Wolverine's Japanese adventures, and aside from a few scenes that just seem slightly jarring in the manner in which they were filmed, overall, everything works.

What I wasn't a fan of...

Silver Samurai as a giant robotic suit.  I understand the why, it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Wolverine's claws.  Never a fan of the bone claws, and hopefully he'll have those things fixed by the next movie.  However, I understand that due to his age, he's had the adamantium claws for much less time than he's had them as bones.  Fair enough.

Which leads me to the closing credits...

Come on people, why do you keep getting out of your seats when a Marvel film from any studio is over?

"Even the God of Thunder and a World War II Super-Soldier Have Figured This Out"

 Would it kill you to sit still for an extra 3-5 minutes?

At worst, you acknowledge the hundreds of people that devoted hours to bringing you entertainment for 2 hours.

At best, you might see something pretty cool.

Looking forward to the next film.


Final Grade: Complaints aside, I'll give Wolverine a solid B.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd happily give this one another viewing, and I'm sure it will find a spot in my library sooner, rather than later.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time...That I Own. # 48 ~ Van Wilder

Yes, I picked Van Wilder.

No, I don't have to justify this pick to you, or anyone for that matter.

>: P

But I'll get to the reason why, in a minute.

First, let's take a look at the movie:

A successful slacker has been in college for going on 7 years.  Luckily, his very rich and successful dad has been footing the bill...until now.  Now, cut off from the golden goose, Van has to figure out how to pay for school, whether he wants to continue to stay in school, or to finally graduate.

College life is what Van knows, and he knows it better than anyone.  In fact, he is able to create a party planning service to pay the bills and stick around long enough to attempt graduation.

This is the first National Lampoon film to hit the countdown, and probably the least likely to be considered by most fans.

Nope, Animal House, while great, will not be hitting the countdown.

Trust me, there were a lot of great movies that didn't make the final cut.

However, Van Wilder made it for two reasons:

1) It's funny.
2) More importantly, it's where I met Ryan Reynolds for the first time on the big screen.

I've been a big fan ever since.  While not every film of his has been seen, the odds of wanting to watch a movie for me have been increased ten-fold if Reynolds is in the cast.

Sidebar:  The greatest miscarriage of justice in cinematic history was done when Ryan Reynolds was cast as Deadpool...and then they sewed his mouth shut.

Perfect casting...ruined!

Let's hope if that Deadpool film ever comes along, they'll pretend it never happened.

So yep, Ryan Reynolds brings a movie that most have never seen all the way up to # 48 of the greatest films of all time.

A star was indeed born!