Peter Parkour... "Tracers"

Tracers (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Taylor Lautner, Marie Avgeropoulos, Adam Rayner, Rafi Gavron, Luciano Acuna Jr., Josh Yadon,

Directed by Daniel Benmayor

The Story:

Cam (Lautner) is a New York bike messenger who owes his shirt to the Chinese Mafia. When he runs into Nikki (Avgeroupoulos), he winds up joining her and her friends as they parkour around the city. Ah, but it turns out they use their parkour skills to supplement their incomes by doing nefarious deeds. Perhaps this will be Cam's ticket out of a jam.

Well it appears the attempt by Hollywood to turn Taylor Lautner into the next big thing leading man have dried up and blown away.

That's not necessarily a bad thing.

This movie is a definite step up over the laughable film, Abduction.

It is completely watchable, and the stunt work and storyline keeps the movie heading forward.

That said, if you missed it, there's no real reason to go hunting this one down to catch up on your Taylor Lautner fix.

You can always go watch Twilight.

Nah, I take that back, this was still a better love story than Twilight.

:)

Final Grade: C+

These High School Kids Totally Suck... "Vampire Academy"

Vampire Academy (2014)

Rated PG-13 for language and blood-suckery

Starring Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry,

Directed by Mark Waters

The Story:

At St. Vladimir's Academy, the Moroi attempt a peaceful co-existence with humanity, feeding off the blood of willing vampire fans.  They are protected by the Dhampir, a half-human/half-vampire who learn how to save their Moroi in question from the Strigoi, the evil vampires of legend that just want to kill anything.

This story centers on Rose (Deutch) a Dhampir who shares a deep bond with her Moroi, Princess Lissa, the last of the Dragomir line.  They are on the run from the Academy, because there are some not-so-nice characters there as well, but alas, to make the story work, they are returned to the Academy to ramp up the conflict and tension.

Does it work?

Yeah, pretty much.

This can help get the taste of Twilight out of your mouth.

The latest teen vampire novel brought to the Silver Screen shows some serious promise.  Or tongue in cheek promise at the very least.

It's by no means perfect, but the cast of characters is pretty fleshed out, and they bring a nuanced layer to their Vampires, Dhampirs and the relationship between the two.

And yes, they set up a sequel perfectly that I'm ready to see.  The question is, will they make it?

The writing has flashes of brilliance and humor throughout, and Rose is easily the star of the movie.

Add in your typical romantic entanglements, high school issues that even vampires are not immune to, and it's easily watchable.

Not quite the instant cult classic that Waters gave us with Mean Girls a decade ago, but I can see this one gaining some traction as time passes.


Again, not perfect.

But not Twilight either.

And that's a huge step up for this guy.

Final Grade: C+.. maybe even B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Wouldn't rush out to buy it, but I could watch it again down the road a bit.

Twilight's Humble Beginnings.... "Catch That Kid"

Catch That Kid (2004)
Rated PG For Language

Starring Kristen Stewart, Corbin Bleu, Max Thieriot, Jennifer Beals

Directed by Bart Freundlich

Maddy (Stewart) loves to climb, just like her dad.  She's out climbing buildings, towers, whatever she can find.  However, her dad suffered an injury climbing Everest, and only a very expensive experimental surgery could save him.  Maddy figures she will enlist her two best buds (Bleu & Thieriot) and they will rob the bank where Maddy's mom (Beals) works installing a new security system.  They're only going to take enough to cover the operation, and Maddy swears she'll pay it back.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Sorry, you knew it was coming.

So, looking over Stewart's credits, and this was one of her first roles for the girl that would grow up to drive all the vampires and werewolves batty.

Meh, I still don't see it.

But here, she's still just a kid, and the boys are enamored by her.

The boys, well Bleu grew up to move to High School Musical, and this was Thieriot's first movie, and he's gone on to many other films as well.

So not bad for the cast, all three have grown up to stay in the spotlight and they haven't lost their minds.

Yet.

Someday I Will Be Followed By The Supernatural!

The movie itself is cute enough, and employs a fun way to rob the bank that works to make an exciting final act to the film.

We had seen it once back in 2004, and I remembered that everyone had enjoyed it.

Picked it up from Blockbuster's going out of business sale and we gave it a spin.

Eh.

A decade later... while it was okay, it wasn't nearly as good as any of us had remembered.

No harm no foul though.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Well, I own it.  Time to put it in the vault, and we'll crack it open for the 20th anniversary. :)

The First Review of 2014..."Beautiful Creatures"

Beautiful Creatures  (2013)
Rated PG-13

Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Emma Thompson

Directed by Richard LaGravenese



The Story:

Ethan (Ehrenreich) wants to graduate and leave South Carolina as soon as possible. (Dude, I can totally relate...)  But then one day, Lena (Englert) arrives at school, and she is the woman that has been haunting his dreams.  It turns out that she is the granddaughter of Macon Ravenwood (Irons) and all the townsfolk are abuzz because legend has it that he Ravenwoods are devil worshippers.  In actuality, it turns out that Lena is a witch.  But is she going to be a good witch, or a bad witch?

I don't know.

I didn't make it past the 20 minute mark.

:)

I gave it a chance, but the movie was just dragging along like an anchor.

I had seen the trailer, and had a rough idea what I was getting into when I moved this one to the top of the queue.

But the fascinating struggle of darkness and light was never revealed before I got bored with the film.

Nope, not even the almost always watchable Jeremy Irons could save this one as Mr. Ravenwood.

"How Dare You Not Like My Movie!!"

Heck, I'm not even sure when Emma Thompson showed up, I was long gone by then.

So does Lena turn good or evil?

I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care.

Based off of the book by the same name, if it is a series of books, I will not be returning for any subsequent sequels.

Final Grade: D-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: And we have our first contender for 2014 Turkey of the Year right here!

Love at First Bite? "Vamps"

That bites!

The Story:

Two vampires in New York, Goody (Alicia Silverstone) and Stacy (Krysten Ritter) mostly enjoy their night life.  Taking college courses at night and working as exterminators to catch rats and drink their blood.  Yep, they and many other vampires have shunned human blood and concentrate on the vermin of New York as their sustenance.  Ah, but when the Van Helsing family moves to New York, the girls' existence is about to get really complicated...

Following up the latest viewing of Clueless, I wondered whatever happened to Amy Heckerling?

Turns out she wrote and directed this one last year, and brought back Alicia Silverstone (and Wallace Shawn!) in the process.

I'm not sure if she gave up on Hollywood, or vice versa, but there just hasn't been very much Amy Heckerling product in quite some time.

She comes out of the gate in 1982 with Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and then enjoys success again in High School in 1995 with Clueless.

Other than that, her career is filled with long gaps from the Director's chair, and even longer since she's had a box office hit.

Vamps apparently didn't help her much, which is a shame, because it is a cute little movie.

Perhaps that was the problem?    It's nothing special that screamed "I must be a movie" instead of something that could have been made for tv.

Her cast is impressive, with Sigourney Weaver playing the stem vampire that turned both Goody and Stacy.  As it turns out, only stems can turn people into vampires, and if a stem is injured or killed, it will have repercussions on the entire line of vampires that the stem had created.

So you can see where the plot device is coming from.

Either way, it's still a better film than Twilight.

: )

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Mostly harmless fun.  Not Heckerling's best, but it's a  movie that I could watch again with no problem.

Get Ready to Twi Hard! "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2"

The thrilling conclusion to the eleventeen part movie trilogy...


The Story:

Bella (Kristen Stewart) is now a vampire, married to her man Edward (Robert Pattinson).  Their baby is growing up...fast!  And this threat is going to bring a war to end all wars between every vampire ever seen on the screen, and a whole bunch of newbies created just for this film.  Oh, and there's werewolves too (Taylor Lautner)!

Yes, I've seen them all.

No, I'm not a delusional teenage girl.

Nor did my delusional teenage girls even remotely make me get this series.

What had happened was....

The first Twilight movie came out, what seems like a lifetime ago...  It was nifty enough, not a total waste of time...

So I've watched the whole thing, and now that it's over...

It is over, right?

I shrug my shoulders and think "it could have been worse".

So it's not bad... it's not a train wreck.  The three leads have the charisma of a wet paper bag, so I've gone with the fact that they are actually surrounded by interesting side characters.  The Cullen family and Bella's dad are great throughout the film series.

The introduction of a whole lot of vampires in this film was actually interesting, and I wouldn't mind seeing more of them.  Retroactive history, I would have preferred to watch several movies starring those characters instead. :) 

Otherwise, this one brought the series to a close relatively nicely.

It was marred by some creepy CGI-ing a face onto a baby and kid though.  Ick...

And I have to admit, the 'final battle' got me.  That's how little I pay attention to the film, I fell for that trick!

I'll give the saga as a whole, a C+ for execution.

This installment, a solid C, a big improvement over Part 1 which was a 2 hour placeholder.

Would I Own/Rewatch:  No, I received enough grief for subjecting everyone to it once already. : )
throughout the film.  Disturbing to say the least.