There Must Be Something Better On The Food Network..."Burnt"

Burnt (2015)

Rated R

Starring Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Daniel Bruhl, Omar Sy, Emma Thompson, Uma Thurman,

Directed by John Wells

The Story:

Adam Jones (Cooper) was an amazing American chef who was the toast of Paris and had it all, then lost it by his behavior and addictions. Now clean and sober, he's been saving up money to get back into the game and earn the third Michelin star. He gathers an assortment of top-notch London chefs to back him in his quest, including Helene (Miller) who can't stand the idea of working for him. Can he pull off the impossible?

For starters, this movie isn't 2 hours long.

Felt like it in some stretches, but it isn't that long.

But take that plot synopsis and I bet you've figured out exactly where this road is heading.

For some reason, Hollywood thinks that movies about chefs are great and they feel the need to keep making them.

This is not Ratatouille.

I think it's time for Hollywood to find another glamorous job to portray on the silver screen.

The 15 minutes for the restaurant chef are really over.

Otherwise, no real complaints for the movie.

Everyone does what they are supposed to do, and every plot device you can check off in your head is going to unfold onscreen.

No surprises.

No real substance though, either.

Final Grade: C

The End Is Nigh... "Batman & Robin"

Batman & Robin (1997)

Rated PG-13 for language, violence and ice skating

Starring George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O' Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone

Directed by Joel Schumacher

The Story:

Batman (Clooney) and Robin (O'Donnell) are facing the maniacal Mr. Freeze (Schwarzenegger) who is trying to get his hands on diamonds, to create a freeze ray that will turn the world to ice!  He has a hand in the creation of Poison Ivy (Thurman) who uses her feminine ways to drive a wedge between the dynamic duo!  Thankfully, the arrival of Alfred's niece, Barbara (Silverstone) will tip the scales to the side of justice when she becomes...Batgirl!

Oh my...

This was even worse than I remembered.

When the Dynamic Duo become ice skaters in the opening battle of the film, I literally rolled my eyes and checked out of the film.

Which is a shame, because George Clooney gets the lion's share of unfair blame on the failure of this movie.

It wasn't his fault. 

In fact, I have gone on record, many times, that Clooney actually made the best Batman of the 3 that wore the cape and cowl up to that point.

No, it was the terrible script and Schumacher instilling too much camp in a series that had been only wink and nod in that area up to that point.

Final Grade: D+ realm

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, I'm good.

He Shoots...He Misses! "Playing for Keeps"

Gooooo...away.

The Story:

George(Gerard Butler), a former soccer star becomes the little league coach for his son's team.  This gives him more time seeing his son since his marriage to Stacie (Jessica Biel) fell apart. Things get complicated as George wants to become a sports anchor for ESPN, and all the Soccer mom's want to get in George's pants.

Another contender for Turkey of the Year.

Which is a shame, because I love Gerard Butler.  Or at least his accent. : )

Even his romantic comedies which are blasted by critics, I've actually enjoyed because he seems to be having a good time, and generates at least some chemistry with his leading ladies.

And here, Gerard Butler is really the only star who attempts to rise above the atrocities being committed in the movie.

He's a good guy, sucked into bad situations, each one more absurd and foolish than the last one.


As for the rest of the cast... well if they decide to make a Desperate Housewives spinoff, here's the cast to start with:

Jessica Biel plays the annoying ex-wife.
Catherine Zeta-Jones comes off slightly less annoying than the last movie I saw her in (Lay the Favorites) but cannot rise above the script.
Uma Thurman is downright pathetic in her role.
Judy Greer always annoys me in any role she ever plays. : )

Dennis Quaid chomps the scenery overacting to his heart's content as a soccer dad with a wandering eye...

The movie made it past the 20 minute mark, I think, only because nobody was paying attention to it.

It just continues to go downhill from there, I looked around and nobody was paying attention to the film, and those that were, were not too happy with it, so out it comes.

Pretty sure Butler will rebound with Olympus Has Fallen. Or at least, How to Train Your Dragon 2.


Final Grade: D-

Would I Own It: Hahahahaha...