Back To The Future..."Insurgent"

Insurgent (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet, Jai Courtney, Miles Teller

Directed by Robert Schwentke

The Story:

Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) continue their fight for survival and to overthrow the current leadership that won't stop until the Divergents are wiped off the face of the earth. 

Did you see Divergent?

Then Insurgent picks up almost exactly where the other one left off as the further adventures of a dystopian future unspool before you.

Treachery.
Lies.
Betrayal.

And that's just Miles Teller's character throughout the series thus far!

The funny thing, the more of these I watch, the more they all begin to blend together.

Wait, there's a mysterious wall? Wasn't that the Maze Runner?

The secret to this society is revealed? That was done in one movie, The Giver. It's taken this franchise 2 films to do it.

I'm sure there's some similarity in The Hunger Games as well, but I've yet to dip my toes into that franchise.

I'm sure there's another part coming, but everything is really wrapped up rather nicely, so I'm not sure how much incentive I have to come back for a part 3.

Final Grade: C

High School Is Brutal... "Barely Lethal"

Barely Lethal (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Hailee Steinfeld, Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Alba, Rachael Harris,

Directed by Kyle Newman

The Story:

Megan (Steinfeld) was raised at an Academy for wayward girls where their instructor Hardman (Jackson) teaches them everything they need to know about becoming assassins.  However, it's not an easy life, and Megan wonders about the childhood she missed out on. On a mission to take down evil-doer Victoria Knox (Alba), Megan finds herself with a way out. She applies to be a foreign exchange student in America, but with all of her training, nothing prepared her for the pitfalls of high school!

A movie that spans all genres to give you an action-adventure-coming-of-age-high-school-spy-romantic-comedy-family-friendly viewing experience.

Whew!

That's a lot of hyphens!

The problem, that's almost too much, and too many different subplots to juggle and cram into one 90 minute adventure.

But they try, and for the most part, it's a cute little movie that indeed can be enjoyed by the whole family.

Nothing that will reinvent any of the genres mentioned above, but nothing that makes you think you wasted an hour and a half of your life.

It's a great cast giving their best effort and having fun while doing so.

Hard to beat that.

I watched on disc from Netflix, but this film is also available to stream instantly on Amazon Prime.

Final Grade: C+

Going To Prison? Better "Get Hard" First!

Get Hard (2015)

Rated R

Starring Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, Craig T. Nelson, Alison Brie

Directed by Etan Cohen

The Story:

James (Ferrell) is a well-to-do stock broker who has it all: the girl (Brie) he's going to marry who's dad (Nelson) is the boss where James works. However, when James is accused of fraud and sentenced to the harshest sentence possible, he decides he needs to spend the month prior to going to jail getting ready for life in the big house.  So he hires Darnell (Hart) who will train him to 'Get Hard' for life in prison. This is merely the assumption by James because Darnell is black, therefore, statistically speaking, he must have done time.

So there you go.

Statistically speaking, this movie should be uproariously funny, however, it doesn't quite click on all cylinders from start to finish.

I still enjoyed it, and Ferrell and Hart make a pretty good duo and they both elicit their fair share of funny moments.

Sometimes movies like this are difficult to pull off with two great funny actors as the duo. One often has to play the straight man to allow the other to pull off the comedy bit.

The movie allows for both to trade off to get the laugh in one scene and play it straight in the next.

For the most part, it works and was fun, but with a bit more time and effort the results could have been epic.

Final Grade: C+/B- range.

A Sentiment Shared By Many... "I Hate Christian Laettner"

I Hate Christian Laettner (2015)

Starring Christian Laettner, And Everyone Who Hate(s)/(ed) Him

The Story:

There are 2 types of College Basketball fans: those that go to Duke University, and those that hate everything about Duke University. Just as they were becoming a decent basketball team and Mike Krzyzewski was about to become THE coach of legend, there came a good looking, talented white player with a bit of an attitude named Christian Laettner.

He became the poster child of Duke, and he became the reason the entire basketball universe hated Duke especially, and Laettner specifically.

While I don't follow NCAA Basketball much anymore, back then, I tuned in with great enthusiasm to watch March Madness as the teams played their hearts out, and 63 teams left with shattered dreams, broken egos and puddles of tears flowing on the hardwood.

I, much like everyone else outside of Duke, didn't really care for Christian Laettner.  There was just something about him that rubs you the wrong way.

You can't quite put your finger on it, but it's just there.

When that spoiled brat joined the original Olympic Dream Team?  Hoooo Boy... I still remember how angry that made me.  Clyde Drexler had just barely made the team, and they hand a spot to this Golden Boy from college?  Grrr....

So when I saw this title on Netflix, it made me chuckle and think back 2 decades earlier and I thought, yeah, I sure did.

So did ESPN deliver on their latest installment in the exceptional 30 for 30 franchise?  Absolutely.

The best part, Laettner is at the center of this documentary, and he takes it all in stride.  He knows he was hated.  He knows he's STILL hated, and I think secretly, he loves it.

He may not have racked up a Hall of Fame career in the NBA, thanks mostly to being stuck on lousy teams moreso than anything he did or did not do personally, his college stats reveal a shocking truth:

Christian Laettner is, was, and will likely always be, the greatest college basketball player.

Ever.

Period.

Beginning and end of argument.

There's really nobody else even close to the caliber of what he did with his team in the annals of college basketball before, during or since his time on the court.

Yes people, we witnessed history, and loved booing every minute of it.

Laettner?  He soaked it up like any good villain does, and simply did his job.

By the end of the documentary, you make still hate Christian Laettner, but that hatred may be toned down just a tad.

Maybe.

: )

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B+

What If Robocop and Short Circuit Had A Baby? "Chappie"

Chappie (2015)

Rated R

Starring Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver

Written and Directed by Neil Blomkamp

The Story:

Deon Wilson (Patel) takes a destroyed peace-keeping robot and imbues it with personality. Enter Chappie (Copley) who is like a child and has to be taught everything. The problem, he's taught some bad things by some questionable people. But in that machine somewhere is some heart, which is more than can be said for contractor Vincent Moore (Jackman) who wants to take his version of the the robot peacekeeper to the streets, no matter the cost.

Seriously.

I swear, the title of my review had to be Blomkamp's pitch to the studios.

Or at least some hybrid Robocop/Short Circuit mashup.

If you don't see similarities, it's because you haven't seen either of the other movies.

Both of which were made in the 80s, and made way better, both in terms of acting, directing, writing, and very likely, special effects.

This is another 2 hour (2 HOUR!) Blomkamp snoozer that is long on boredom and short on everything else.

When I stack this with Elysium which I was generous with my C- review, and the never-reviewed because I fell asleep trying to watch District 9...

Well, I have no faith in him as a writer or director anymore.

So the next time I see his name on a project, I will likely leave it out of, or put at the bottom of my queue to be watched when I've seen everything else ever made.

By the time the movie even got remotely exciting, it was the last part of the movie as Jackman was firing up his E.D. 209

I kid you not.

Way too little, much too late. And embarrassingly derivative.

If he was hoping to match the charming success of Real Steel, he misjudged badly.

Final Grade: D+

I'm A Sucker For Movies Like "Touchback"

Touchback (2011)

Rated PG-13

Starring Brian Presley, Kurt Russell, Melanie Lynskey, Christine Lahti, Marc Blucas, Sarah Wright

Written and Directed by Don Handfield

The Story:

Scott (Presley) was a lock for college football greatness and possibly beyond. It all came crashing down 15 years earlier on the last play of a the championship game when his leg was shattered. Now, struggling to make ends meet as a farmer, he's refusing to acknowledge what used to be because of how painful it is. He then makes the realization that he's worth more to his wife (Lynsky) and children dead than alive, and decides to take fate into his own hands. However, he awakens to find himself with another shot at making his life different, 15 years earlier. All he has to do is not get hurt in the game and his future is set.

Of course he then begins to realize that his new future may not include his wife and he sets out on a course to win her over before the big game.

Add equal parts It's A Wonderful Life, The Family Man and Mr. Destiny with a touch of football, and you've got Touchback.

As I mention in the title, I'm a sucker for these kinds of movies.

No matter how bad your life may seem, for the friends and family around you, you're pretty darn awesome and they wouldn't want their lives to not have you in it.

That's a pretty good message, and I'm glad that filmmakers pick up this theme and run with it every so often.

I'm rarely disappointed in their efforts, and this movie proves to be no exception.

While fame and prosperity sound great on paper, to do so at the cost of love makes the trade-off seem pretty steep.

Needless to say, I had a pretty good time with the film, and it's officially in the running for best of the year honors.

Not bad at all.

Final Grade: B+

Vampires Finally Reveal "What We Do In The Shadows"

What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

Rated R

Starring Jermaine Clement, Taika Waititi, Johnny Brugh, Cori Gonzalez-Macuer, Stu Rutherford

Written and Directed by Clement & Waititi

The Story:

Vladislav (Clement), Viago (Waititi) and Deacon (Brugh) are flatmates in New Zealand. They also happen to be vampires. After promising not to harm the camera crew that films them, they agree to let humankind take a peek behind the curtain and see what it's like to be a vampire. Sure, they're immortal, but not having mirrors really wreaks havoc on one's fashion sense. Then there are the endless arguments about chores. Plus, don't get them started on their dislike of werewolves. The dynamic of the group changes when they turn a local (Macuer) and he begins to disrupt the status quo of the group entirely.

This Is Veinal Tap.

A mockumentary that treats the subject both respectfully and with a sense of fun, after all, these are vampires in New Zealand!

The special effects are not bad at all, and it's easy to forget that this film was probably shot on a shoestring budget, compared to just about anything shot in North America.

Where I normally pick on a director and writer who are one and the same because they often don't know when to change something, these two obviously put a lot of effort and time into their film to make sure that there was very little waste or boredom in the film.

I won't go too much more into the plot other than this:

In a nutshell, if you like horror, horror comedy, mockumentaries or movies filmed in New Zealand, this one will be right up your alley.

Plus, the inevitable conflict between vampires and werewolves is ultimately more satisfying than anything you may have seen in Twilight.

Final Grade: B

IHeart "IZombie"

IZombie (2015)

TV-14

Starring Rose McIver, Malcolm Goodwin, Rahul Kholi, Robert Buckley, David Anders

Created by Diane Ruggiero and Rob Thomas

The Story:

Dr. Olivia Moore (McIver) goes to a party at the insistence of her boyfriend, Major (Buckley) who wants her to have a good time. Bad idea, Major. The boat party turns into a massacre, and Liv is scratched by some crazy dude (Anders) and when she wakes up, she's craving brains!  That's right, Liv is now a zombie. She leaves her chosen profession behind and goes to work at the morgue working for Ravi (Kholi) and where she has ample supplies of fresh brains to work with. One apparent zombie side effect is that the brains give Liv bits and pieces of memories from the consumed. She uses this nifty trick to help Detective Babineaux (Goodwin) solve their murders.

The heir apparent to Psych, we have a "psychic" helping the police force solve murders with the help of a funny guy in the morgue. Sure, that's stretching both premises slightly to make my point, but I saw it, and therefore on some subliminal level, it must surely exist. :)

This entry on the CW is, surprise surprise, based on a comic book. Again, that's news to me since I've long ago left reading them on a regular basis.

That it's a good show that I really enjoyed, these thoughts come as no surprise to me as most comics have great stories, ideas and a solid premise behind them.

IZombie is no different, and I'll have to give a shout out to my oldest daughter who discovered this show and converted the whole family into fans.

A tremendously talented cast who can run the gamut of hilarious, terrified, forlorn and just about everything in between, with ease and grace.

Kudos to everyone involved, especially the creators for coming up with another creative take on the zombie mythos and giving us a new (and frankly, terrifying) way that zombies behave.

Frankly, I really enjoyed almost the entire first season.

However...

The Final Episode threw one too many "hey, wouldn't this be a great way to end the season and keep them looking forward to next year?" coincidences and cliffhangers at the audience.

After a season of slow building, the kitchen sink approach fell a little flat for me at the end.

But the 12 episodes in front of that were pretty tremendous.

 Final Grade: B+

"What If" This Movie Had Been Better?

What If (2013)

Rated PG-13

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan, Adam Driver, Megan Park, Rafe Spall

Directed by Michael Dowse

The Story:

Wallace (Radcliffe) meets Chantry (Kazan) and the two immediately connect. However, Wallace has been burned by love too often, so he's only too happy to remain friends with her, and that works for Chantry also because she already has a boyfriend (Spall). Of course, this wouldn't be a romantic comedy if the two didn't naturally want to take their friendship to the next level. As always though, crossing that line may not be easy, or desirable.

This movie was much funnier when it was called When Harry Met Sally.

:)

Otherwise, it's a harmless, mostly by the numbers romantic comedy that follows the typical stereotype that yes, men and women can just be friends, but invariably, someone might change their mind and want to take things further.

You'd think they could make one where the two don't fall in love, but then, that would be just like real life, and could be boring.

My first recollection of seeing either of the two leads in a film, alone or together. Their chemistry almost works as friends, but it's hard to believe either want to make a go of it with the other.

Would you believe me if I said this was the first film I've watched with Daniel Radcliffe in it?

True story.

Never was interested in Harry Potter, so never bothered.

He seems like a pretty good actor, if a bit bland.

I don't see him as much of a leading man candidate. He doesn't have the charm of a Hugh Grant or the personification of an action/thriller star.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm thinking this is Macauley Culkin 2.0.

Time will tell.

Final Grade: C

"Unfinished Business" Is An 'Uneven Movie'

Unfinished Business (2015)

Rated R

Starring Vince Vaughn, Tom Wilkinson, Dave Franco, Sienna Miller, Nick Frost, James Marsden

Directed by Ken Scott

The Story:

Dan (Vaughn) has had it with his current company. He quits and tries a Jerry Maguire speech to bring his co-workers with him. Tim (Wilkinson) and Mike (Franco) are the only two that jump in with him. Time passes, and they have one final "Hail Mary" to save their business from going under, but involves a business trip to Europe to land a deal with Mr. Spinch (Marsden). They assume it's a lock, until they realize their old employer is there to close the same deal.

Tucked in this movie was a good story with some funny characters.

They emerge every so often as the film moves along.

They also get buried in a lot of "throw it at the wall and see if it sticks" moments that really do nothing except padding the runtime of the film.

It loses focus often for the sake of the gag, and the gags rarely help the overall momentum of the film. Instead it seems like a lot of pieces that are cobbled together to frame a story from beginning to end, but it's a bumpy, jarring ride to get there.

Are there funny moments? Absolutely, but they often are isolated and alone and rarely strung together.

Vaughn's attempt to help his daughter's homework project seems like a weird narrative device to shoehorn his home life into the work story.

That said, the final product that she turns in is very heartwarming and something most dads should relate to.

It's got some genuine amusement, and a fantastic cast, but just too scattershot to be worth ever revisiting.

Final Grade: C

"Run All Night" Feels Awfully Familiar

Run All Night (2015)

Rated R

Starring Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, Joel Kinnaman, Boyd Holbrook, Vincent D'Onofrio

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

The Story:

Jimmy Conlon (Neeson) has a choice to make tonight. His son, Mike (Kinnaman) was about to be killed by Danny Maguire (Holbrook) so Conlon shot him and killed him. The problem? Maguire's dad, Shawn (Harris) is the mob boss that Jimmy works for. Shawn is now going to kill Mike first, and then Jimmy unless Jimmy can save them both and kill all of Maguire's men, and possibly Maguire himself, first.

It's going to be a long night!

And at almost 2 hours, it really is quite a long night.

The latest in the string of get Liam Neeson to play his Taken role and shoot the bad guys while escaping.

This one falls squarely between Non-Stop and A Walk Among the Tombstone, and behind Taken.

The movie crackles with Neeson or Harris, sadly the two barely share any screen time together, and again, after 90 minutes of watching Neeson dispatch anyone and everyone, the movie plays like a deja vu film reel versus something new and exciting.

Even D'Onofrio is mostly wasted as the cop who wants to arrest Jimmy, and has been trying for years but can never pin anything on him. He spends what little screen time he has 5 steps behind the action.

Pity.

 Final Grade: C- range.

Now That's A Spy Movie! "Kingsman: The Secret Service"

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Rated R

Starring Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Michael Caine, Samuel L. Jackson,

Written and Directed by Matthew Vaughn

The Story:

An underground spy network needs to recruit their newest member when one of their own perishes. Harry Hart (Firth) chooses Eggsy (Egerton), the son of the man who saved Hart's life years earlier. Eggsy is very rough around the edges, and not the gentleman spy that typically serves as a Kingsman, but Hart has high hopes. As the process of choosing the newest member moves forward, so does a credible threat from a multi-billionaire (Jackson) with nefarious plan to extinguish much of society.

I thought the film looked pretty good from the trailer.

It exceeded any and all expectations that I had, and will wind up on my Best of the Year list when all is said and done.

This one even gets a nod from the Mrs. as she not only watched it the first night, she sat through it again the next night when the kids moaned about having missed it.

That tells you the film must be pretty good.

And I have an extremely odd taste in what can be considered a family movie!

:)

Thoroughly British, utterly enjoyable, it's an updated take on the spy game that takes a lot of Bond and adds a dash of Bourne and spits out a wonderfully fresh and fun look at the world's 3rd oldest profession.

Give or take.

An amazing cast that has a blast with the material they are given is on display from the very opening of the film. If you think Colin Firth is only a dramatic or comedic actor, get ready for a revelation of Colin Firth: Action Star!

Seriously, he pulls if off in a way that defies any expectations you have of him.

Samuel L. Jackson appears to be having a blast as the villain of the film, and is both frighteningly evil and hilariously funny at the same time.

That said, hats off to Taron Egerton who gets to carry much of the film when Firth and Jackson aren't doing their things.

The franchise, should they choose to turn this into one, is his to enjoy for the next decade or more.

Vaughn, who notoriously stays away from writing or directing sequels to his work, is actually onboard for at least a second chapter of Kingsman.

Works for me!

Final Grade: A-

If They Would Have Just Used A Bit More "Focus" On The Script

Focus (2015)

Rated R

Starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Adrian Martinez, Gerald McRaney, Rodrigo Santoro,

Written and Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa

The Story:

Nicky (Smith) is a really smooth con man with a great network of hustlers that help him work really big jobs. He takes a green rookie named Jess (Robbie) under his wing because she's a natural talent that just needs some...

focus.

Ooo.

See what I did there?

: )

Anyway, they work on the gig, and then go their separate ways.

They run into each other a few years later, each working on different cons that are both targeting the same guy.

Will their feelings for each other ruin an otherwise extremely elaborate ruse and wind up getting someone killed?

I try and avoid talking too much about the plots of heist/con man movies because that often takes out any or all the fun of watching them.

Ficarra and Requa have teamed again to bring another dramatic comedy to the screen.

My problem, here comes the soapbox, is this film would have played perfectly, and perhaps better, with a PG-13 tag. I don't think there's a line of dialogue that a writer has to write using Carlin's list of words you can't say on television, and not still convey the message you're trying to get across.

Take out the language, the film softens to a PG-13, more people go, even families, and more people turns this into a box office hit instead of a financial flop.

The heists and scams are always enjoyable to see orchestrated on the big screen, and this film tries to up the ante on what Nicky can, and will, be able to pull off.

Could've been better, still wasn't that bad.

Final Grade: B-

It's "Jupiter Ascending" Quickly To The List Of Worst Movies Of 2015.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean

Written and Directed by Andy & Lana Wachowski

The Story:

Jupiter Jones (Kunis) is an illegal alien who cleans bathrooms for a living. No, not that kind of alien, the kind from outer space. However she doesn't realize this until aliens come to get her and she is saved by intergalactic space hero, Caine Wise (Tatum).

That sums up about the 20 minutes, that felt just shy of an hour, that I endured this film.

I looked around the room at all of the faces not watching, or caring what was happening in this film.

I then looked at the clock on the wall and realized I still had just a hair under 2 hours still to go, and I didn't really care for the characters or the plot (if there truly was one yet) of this film.

Eject.

Return.

Note to self, add the Wachowskis as directors (and writers) whose work, overall, is stuff that I don't care for. Never cared for The Matrix, never bothered with the sequels. Cloud Atlas had some interesting ideas, but the overlong run time saps your energy.

Again, I have to wonder if you keep allowing some directors to write/direct/produce their own movies, who is the filter to tell them, hey, this kind of sucks?

Seems that there isn't one.

I can only tell them after the fact.

Hey, this movie kind of sucked.

The visuals were nice though.

: /

Final Grade: D