Not Quite The A-Team..."Soldiers Of Fortune"

Soldiers of Fortune (2012)

Rated R

Starring Christian Slater, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Dominic Monaghan, Colm Meaney, James Cromwell,

Directed by Maxim Korostyshevsky

The Story:

Craig McCenzie (Slater), fresh from his stint in the military is asked to train a bunch of wealthy men on how to be soldiers. At the end of their training, they will be inserted in an area near a war zone, but will totally be safe. The thrill of the hunt and all that...

What could possibly go wrong.

Spoiler Alert: Sean Bean finally lives through a movie.  :)

In all seriousness, this is a pure B movie that takes a bunch of familiar faces and lets them go out and play war.

Slater leads the cast as the military mind who whips these rich dudes into an actually effective military team.

Naturally, even before they arrive at their location, things hit the fan pretty quickly and not only do they have to save themselves, they end up needing to save a local village from being decimated further by the evil-doers that have taken control of the island.

It's the Expendables meets Hard Target with a touch of The Magnificent Seven thrown in for good measure.

At least they had lofty goals, and seemed to enjoy themselves while making it.

Nothing to rush out and see, but not a complete waste of time either.

Final Grade: C

Houston, We Have Another Problem... "The Martian"

The Martian (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Sean Bean, Michael Pena, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Donald Glover,

Directed by Ridley Scott

The Story:

During the latest manned mission to Mars, a violent storm forces an early evacuation by the crew. During the storm, Astronaut Mark Watney (Damon) is struck by debris and assumed dead when the captain (Chastain) is unable to locate him. They leave the planet and head home to Earth. However, Mark's death is slightly exaggerated and he recovers and finds himself alone on Mars. He must find a way to survive, make contact with NASA, and wait and hope for his eventual rescue with the next planned return to Mars in a few years!

The fun part about coming to review these movies so late in the game is that much of the furor has died down. "Greatest movie ever!" "It sucked!" All those varying opinions are out there, and I just brush them aside and figure out if I liked the movie or not. 

And I quite enjoyed it!

I will mention that this one is nearly 2 1/2 hours long, but it's one where it doesn't feel like it, so that's always a plus.

If you're going for distance, make that time spent on the movie an enjoyable one.

Ridley Scott directs a stellar (no pun intended) cast who all provide outstanding support to Damon.

Damon, however, does the bulk of the heavy lifting as he has to be the center of the movie, acting and reacting to dire situations as they arise during his stay on Mars.

That said, though this is essentially a drama, there is enough humor and levity both on Earth and Mars, that you keep smiling and laughing even as you're on the edge of your seat wondering what will happen next and will they get to him in time.

Because quite frankly, if they don't rescue Watley, you're going to feel angry and upset when the film is over.

But, at least you know they tried.

It's quite the enjoyable ride, and if you haven't seen it yet, you're likely in for a great experience when you get around to watching it.

Or, you'll hate it.

:)

Final Grade:  B+

It's "Jupiter Ascending" Quickly To The List Of Worst Movies Of 2015.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean

Written and Directed by Andy & Lana Wachowski

The Story:

Jupiter Jones (Kunis) is an illegal alien who cleans bathrooms for a living. No, not that kind of alien, the kind from outer space. However she doesn't realize this until aliens come to get her and she is saved by intergalactic space hero, Caine Wise (Tatum).

That sums up about the 20 minutes, that felt just shy of an hour, that I endured this film.

I looked around the room at all of the faces not watching, or caring what was happening in this film.

I then looked at the clock on the wall and realized I still had just a hair under 2 hours still to go, and I didn't really care for the characters or the plot (if there truly was one yet) of this film.

Eject.

Return.

Note to self, add the Wachowskis as directors (and writers) whose work, overall, is stuff that I don't care for. Never cared for The Matrix, never bothered with the sequels. Cloud Atlas had some interesting ideas, but the overlong run time saps your energy.

Again, I have to wonder if you keep allowing some directors to write/direct/produce their own movies, who is the filter to tell them, hey, this kind of sucks?

Seems that there isn't one.

I can only tell them after the fact.

Hey, this movie kind of sucked.

The visuals were nice though.

: /

Final Grade: D

Nicholas Cage Is A "National Treasure"... More Or Less

National Treasure (2004)

Rated PG for language and peril

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Sean Bean, Jon Voight, Havey Keitel,

Directed by Jon Turteltaub

The Story:

Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) is the latest historian in the lineage of the Gates family to seek the rumored Templar Treasure hidden by the Founding Fathers since the Revolutionary War.  However, his reasons are noble, and wants to ensure the treasure doesn't fall into the hands of mercenaries led by Ian Howe (Bean), so Gates and his pal Riley (Bartha) do whatever it takes, including stealing the Declaration of Independence to discover the clues to find the treasure.  But will they succeed?

Of course they will!

It's been 10 years since this movie came out, and was critically bashed.

Boo.

This movie is fun.

Check your brain at the door, and let Nicholas Cage have some fun on the screen and just enjoy it.

It's the most enjoyable trip in history, this side of Indiana Jones.

The sequel was decidedly less enjoyable, but nope, I still have a soft spot in my heart for this one.

It's a family-friendly popcorn film, courtesy of Disney.  Good action sequences, competent acting, some funny bits...


There's something for everyone, except the haters.

;)

Cage rules!

:)

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I already own it and it gets a spin every few years.