What If Robocop and Short Circuit Had A Baby? "Chappie"

Chappie (2015)

Rated R

Starring Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver

Written and Directed by Neil Blomkamp

The Story:

Deon Wilson (Patel) takes a destroyed peace-keeping robot and imbues it with personality. Enter Chappie (Copley) who is like a child and has to be taught everything. The problem, he's taught some bad things by some questionable people. But in that machine somewhere is some heart, which is more than can be said for contractor Vincent Moore (Jackman) who wants to take his version of the the robot peacekeeper to the streets, no matter the cost.

Seriously.

I swear, the title of my review had to be Blomkamp's pitch to the studios.

Or at least some hybrid Robocop/Short Circuit mashup.

If you don't see similarities, it's because you haven't seen either of the other movies.

Both of which were made in the 80s, and made way better, both in terms of acting, directing, writing, and very likely, special effects.

This is another 2 hour (2 HOUR!) Blomkamp snoozer that is long on boredom and short on everything else.

When I stack this with Elysium which I was generous with my C- review, and the never-reviewed because I fell asleep trying to watch District 9...

Well, I have no faith in him as a writer or director anymore.

So the next time I see his name on a project, I will likely leave it out of, or put at the bottom of my queue to be watched when I've seen everything else ever made.

By the time the movie even got remotely exciting, it was the last part of the movie as Jackman was firing up his E.D. 209

I kid you not.

Way too little, much too late. And embarrassingly derivative.

If he was hoping to match the charming success of Real Steel, he misjudged badly.

Final Grade: D+

Today's Review Is Designed To Fly Under The Radar... "Stealth"

Stealth (2005)
Rated PG 13 for Language

Starring Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard

Directed by Rob L. Cohen

The Story:

The Navy has developed a fighter jet with an artificial intelligence running the show.  Teaching it the ropes are three of the Navy's best, Lt's Gannon (Lucas), Wade (Biel) and Purcell (Foxx).  But when lightning strikes the jet, the A.I. malfunctions and decides it must take out all hostiles.  Can the 3 humans talk some sense into their computerized counterpart before World War III starts?


Remember War Games and Short Circuit?  Mash the two together, and there you go.

:)

Okay, not quite, but that might have been more interesting than what we got.

And really, this film isn't really that bad...

It just wasn't as good as it should have been.

Josh Lucas does fine as the leading man, and perhaps of the 3, is the most believable as a great Navy pilot.

Does This Flight Suit Make Me Look Fat?

Biel suffers a similar fate to Denise Richards in a Bond movie, and she just doesn't seem that believable as a fighter pilot.

Then there's Jamie Foxx who rebounded from this one to snag an Oscar for Ray.

Does This Flight Suit Make Me Look Like An Oscar Winner ?

Shepard plays the human villain role, but his is more from a misguided duty than pure evil.

Most disappointing were the cheesy special effects.

No offense, but when a jet smacks into a mountain, don't go slow motion, it just really destroys the credibility of your movie.  Better to just hit it with an explosion than show a really poor model crumbling into a ball.

This is the 2nd time I've seen it since it was released.

I think I liked it better the first time I saw it and thought I would purchase it in the future.

Now?

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nah, future me has talked myself out of it. ;)