You're No Groot! "A Monster Calls"

A Monster Calls (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Liam Neeson,

Directed by J.A. Bayona

The Story:

Conor (MacDougall) is caring for his terminally ill mum (Jones) when a giant tree monster (Neeson) comes calling on him. He demands that Conor do the one thing he cannot do...tell the truth. The monster will then share some stories with Conor that will teach him valuable life lessons.

Of course by the 30 minute mark, I being the heartless monster that I am was so bored to tears by this movie I took it out and mailed it back to Netflix.

Blasphemy, I know.

This is yet the latest festival darling, well-regarded film that I absolutely didn't care for.

Conor's mom is going to die. He despises that his grandmother (Weaver) is there, because that's sealing the deal.

And the monster will help Conor face the pain and reality of what is about to happen.

Yeah, I get it.

I made it through the first animated story that the monster tells, and I found myself just really not caring.

Saved an hour of my life, and undoubtedly needing Kleenex to wipe away the tears they were going to bring about in the final act if I finally started caring about the characters.

I'll go see about watching Rogue One instead, that way I can make sure I see Felicity Jones die in that one instead.

:)

Final Grade: D

"Run All Night" Feels Awfully Familiar

Run All Night (2015)

Rated R

Starring Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, Joel Kinnaman, Boyd Holbrook, Vincent D'Onofrio

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

The Story:

Jimmy Conlon (Neeson) has a choice to make tonight. His son, Mike (Kinnaman) was about to be killed by Danny Maguire (Holbrook) so Conlon shot him and killed him. The problem? Maguire's dad, Shawn (Harris) is the mob boss that Jimmy works for. Shawn is now going to kill Mike first, and then Jimmy unless Jimmy can save them both and kill all of Maguire's men, and possibly Maguire himself, first.

It's going to be a long night!

And at almost 2 hours, it really is quite a long night.

The latest in the string of get Liam Neeson to play his Taken role and shoot the bad guys while escaping.

This one falls squarely between Non-Stop and A Walk Among the Tombstone, and behind Taken.

The movie crackles with Neeson or Harris, sadly the two barely share any screen time together, and again, after 90 minutes of watching Neeson dispatch anyone and everyone, the movie plays like a deja vu film reel versus something new and exciting.

Even D'Onofrio is mostly wasted as the cop who wants to arrest Jimmy, and has been trying for years but can never pin anything on him. He spends what little screen time he has 5 steps behind the action.

Pity.

 Final Grade: C- range.

We've Been "Taken 3" Times To See The Same Movie!

Taken 3 (2015)

Rated PG-13

Starring Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Famke Jannsen, Maggie Grace, Dougray Scott

Directed by Olivier Megaton

The Story:

Bryan Mills (Neeson) is back, and he's brought his special skill set with him. It's a good thing too, because this time his ex-wife (Jannsen) is murdered and Bryan has been framed. He's out to prove that he's innocent, regardless of what the head detective (Whitaker) believes.

Okay, first, nobody was actually taken in this film, which leads to a bit of a misleading title!
;)

Seriously though, if you've enjoyed the first 2 installments, you'll find closure on the trilogy here.

At least, I hope it was a trilogy, and Taken 4 is not being discussed.

My guess is, like the Transporter, there is no reason why the series won't receive a reboot brand makeover in the future.

I'm sure there are many former operatives that have their relatives stolen all the time, where are there stories?

That said, this film offers little in the way of anything you haven't seen already, and if you can't guess who is framing Bryan by, oh, about the 10 minute mark of the film, then congratulations, you've apparently never seen a movie before in your life.

:)

The new wrinkle is the addition of Whitaker as the cop who is tracking down a fugitive.

Except, his demeanor refuses to channel Tommy Lee Jones and seems mostly indifferent throughout the film.

It's paint by numbers execution, but I've mostly enjoyed my stay with Neeson in this franchise.

I do believe it's time that he break the mold though and do a comedy or a romance, or anything other than handle a weapon or kill something in his next movie.

Final Grade: B-

Never Take "A Walk Among The Tombstones" With Liam Neeson.

A Walk Among The Tombstones (2014)

Rated R

Starring Liam Neeson, Maurice Compte, David Harbour

Directed by Scott Frank

The Story:

Matt Scudder (Neeson) is a former cop turned private investigator after a tragic accident in his career. He is approached to take a case to find the men who murdered the wife of a drug dealer after taking her ransom. He passes, but when he learns that the man paid the ransom, and that they had already killed his wife, he begins to piece together that this is the M.O. in some other cases, and he realizes that if he wants to save the life of the next victim, he better spring into action.

If you want a man with a certain skill set to find and kill people, you hire Liam Neeson and let him do his job.

That is, after all, what he does pretty much since his role in Taken.

However, if it's not broken, and the audiences want to buy tickets for it, ride that horse until it won't go anymore!

At this point, you know how the story will play out, and again, that's fine for what it is.

Nothing awful.

Nothing spectacular.

You've seen it all before but Neeson hasn't worn out his welcome...

Yet.

I give this a C+

Watching This Is One Of "A Million Ways To Die In The West"

A Million Ways To Die In The West (2014)

Rated R

Starring  Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman

Written and Directed by Seth MacFarlane

The Story:

Albert (MacFarlane) is living the dream in the Old West until his girl (Seyfried) dumps him. Alone and sad, he bounces back when he runs into Anna (Theron) and becomes smitten. Ah, but Anna has a secret, and he's about to ride into town and show Albert that death by gunfight is at least one of a million ways to die in the west.

MacFarlane loves unleashing himself in R rated movies where he doesn't have to abide by any rating restrictions.

Which is a shame really.

I've seen a few episodes of Family Guy and I've laughed at parts, but otherwise, not a show I can bear watching repeatedly.

Much the same for his movies.

There are a few parts that are genuinely funny, but they get bogged down in the incessant "hey, let's push the boundaries, we have an R rating!"

Not to get on a soapbox, but I'm already up here...

If the joke has to work within the confines of an R rating, then it's likely not funny.

If you can remove the offending language/prop or whatever, and it's still funny, then the joke is a good one.

Case in point, the giant ice block that kills the guy in the street.

We all saw that scene in the trailer.

It's funny.  Morbid, but funny.

Amping the joke up with a ton of blood almost distracts from the humor of the situation.

A big SQUISH sound, and the horrified reactions are the joke.

And therein lies my main problem with the majority of this movie.

The setup is there, but it gets mangled in the delivery.

Which is a shame, because he's assembled a great cast that pretty much has very little to do.

Unlike Fury, where I gave the film a C and realized I should have put it in the D range, I will not make the same mistake again.

Final Grade: C-   D+

Congratulations, you're in the running for Turkey of the Year.

:)

Never Fly "Non-Stop" With Liam Neeson

Non-Stop (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore,

Directed by Jaume Collett-Serra

The Story:

Bill Marks (Neeson) is an Air Marshal. Boarding a flight to London, he begins to receive texts on his secure phone. If he doesn't pay a huge ransom, passengers will start being murdered every 20 minutes. As if on cue, the body count starts piling up, but on a flight full of red herrings and authorities on the ground thinking Marks has gone rogue, the odds are stacked against him.

First bad guys stole his family.

Now they've stolen his plane!

Wait, wrong movie franchise.

:)

Neeson has reinvigorated his career as the quiet, angry man who gets things done.

I've enjoyed both Taken films and found The Grey, well, to be less than spectacular.

This one is much more in line with the Taken franchise, along with every other action hero against the odds film ever made.

As the movie rolls along at a fairly quick pace, passengers are revealed as suspects, get cleared or wind up as victims at a rapid pace.  Soon, much like Neeson, you're wondering who really is the hijacker?

Then you begin to wonder...

Is Neeson suffering from split personality disorder?

Now the trick will be to see if they bring this back with a sequel?


Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Pretty good flick, but not a whole lot of replay factor in it once the mystery is solved.

Everything Really Is Awesome... "The Lego Movie"

The Lego Movie (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Chris Pratt, Will Arnett, Elizabeth Banks, Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson

Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

The Story:

Emmet Brickowski (Pratt) is an everyday, ordinary Lego builder.  He goes about his business, never realizing that he is... "The Special".  Yes, prophesied to stop the superweapon, the Kragle from being used by Lord Business (Ferrell) destroying the many Lego realms.  Teaming to help Emmet on his quest are Wyldestyle (Banks) and Batman (Arnett).

Want a fun movie that is great for all ages?

Look no further.

Naturally, for those of us that were kids at one point, Legos are no stranger to our lives.  The bricks can create almost anything you can imagine.

As the years have passed, the sets have gotten cooler, and now there are Legos to reflect pretty much any pop culture obsession.

Way cool for kids.

Possibly even cooler for parents.

Which becomes the crux of the conflict of The Lego Movie.

It seems that Lord Business is more familiar of an enemy than you realize as the movie unfolds, but I don't want to spoil it for those who have not seen the film yet.

The voice cast in the film is amazing.  Pratt is overshadowed by the more famous Legos and/or voices, but that's to be expected for his character. However he brings the heart and soul to the movie along with some pretty good comedy gags.

Batman could easily be seen as the star of this film, and it's easily the best Batman film from DC...

Ever.

:)

This beautiful 3D film is above and beyond all of the previous Lego movies that they've released.

That said, those movies were all pretty darn fun on their own merits.

Combine these films with the stellar Lego videogames, and you begin to realize that a simple building block has reimagined itself for the 21st Century.

They aren't going anywhere, and the future looks very bright for this franchise.

The movie is so good, you can almost forgive all those times you step on a Lego barefoot at 2 AM in the house.

Almost.

:)

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Add this to the other great Lego offerings.  I imagine this will find its way into our house by Christmas.

The Wave Of Underwhelming Animation Continues..."The Nut Job"

The Nut Job (2014)
Rated PG

Starring Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl

Directed by Peter Lepeniotis

The Story:

Things are looking bleak in the City Park as the animals were unable to store enough food for winter.  Raccoon (Neeson) the leader, sends Grayson (Fraser) and Andie (Heigl), two of the smartest squirrels out to get the nuts from a local peanut vendor.  However Surly (Arnett) and his mouse pal Remy...no wait...Buddy... are already casing the joint.  Things get complicated when the nut vendors turn out to be bank robbers planning a heist.

Ooo!

An animated heist film.

And you all know what a fan of heist films I am.

I will also give credit, the heist that the humans are planning is pretty ingenious.

It's just a lot of tediousness of getting to the heist that bogs this one down for me.

There's not a whole lot to the main story, so there's a romantic entanglement between Andie and Surly and the treachery of one of their own from the park.

I know... the horror!

The animation is okay.  This is a throwback to the 50s, and that works really well.

The animals themselves though... eh ... I've seen better designs.

Like I said at the beginning, take a look at the mouse best pal.  He's a cross between Pinky and Remy from Ratatouille.

Again, I hate to be overly harsh as I think this is the first feature from this studio.

It's an okay first effort, and hopefully they can build on it.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would pass on both of these options.

I Will Find You, And I Will Kill You. Again. "Taken 2"

It's like Die Hard...set in Turkey!

The Story:

Dad of the Year, Bryan (Liam Neeson) has held up his end of the bargain of being a good father to Kim (Maggie Grace) and keeps in touch with his ex (Famke Janssen) since the events of the first movie when his daughter was kidnapped and he had to kill a bunch of bad guys to get her back.  Well... it seems the father of one of those dead kidnappers wants to make an example out of Bryan and kill him and his whole family.

Bad move, dude.


So really, it's more like Taken... with the whole family!  But yes, following the Die Hard idea of 'the same thing happening to the same guy' formula, Bryan is once again forced to save his family, even when he is the one that is taken this time.

He does that by luck, skill, and having his daughter help save him.

I don't remember how much I enjoyed the first film, but I found this sequel to be just fine with me, and maybe even more enjoyable. 

Fast paced, action pieces moved along at a nice clip, and Liam Neeson is commanding of a presence as always.  Really glad to say that again after how much I really disliked the  movie The Grey.

I also am adding this franchise to the list of movies that I will give to my daughter's boyfriends when I meet them, and let them know that if you think THESE dads are overprotective, wait till they see me.

>: )

I must also give some credit to Luc Besson.  I find that I really enjoy most of the films where he is the writer, or co-writer, or has some dabbling writing of the film.  In addition to this franchise he's given us: Leon: The Professional, The Fifth Element; The Transporter franchise; and Lockout, those are my favorites from among his many credits.

We'll see if the franchise rolls out a 3rd film...

At this point maybe as an idea, and not the same characters?

I mean, how many times can one family keep getting kidnapped?!?

Final Grade: B

Would I Own It: I'm not sure.  I'd definitely watch it again.  I may have to watch the first one again, and possibly add both to the library. : )

Man vs. Wild ~ "The Grey"

Finally, a Liam Neeson franchise that can't have a sequel...


: )

The story:

A planeload of oil riggers in Alaska crashes in the wilderness.  The ones that die on the plane are the lucky ones.  The rest have to survive the cold Alaskan winter...and a pack of werewolves that want to kill them all.

Okay, werewolves would have actually made this movie better.

If you love Liam Neeson, that's about the only reason I could recommend this tedious thriller that simply picks off one character that you really could care less about, after another...

for two hours.

: /

Yeah, it's streaming from Netflix, and even I hit fast forward as I guessed which character would be the next to die.

This movie didn't survive the 20 minute rule.  That is:

If I'm not grabbed and want to continue the movie within the first 20 minutes, it's coming out.

Could I be missing some complex narration and underlying tones of man's utter futility in the fury of mother nature?

Somehow, I don't think so.

Yeah, I'll take Battleship over this stinker, any day.