Edgar Rice Boredom ... "The Legend of Tarzan"

The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Alexander Skarsgard, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Margot Robbie

Directed by David Yates

The Story:

John Clayton (Skarsgard) is implored to return to Africa where he grew up as Tarzan because there is great unrest as a man named Rom (Waltz) is up to nefarious treachery. Reluctantly, he returns alongside his wife (Robbie) and the expedition leader (Jackson).

I'm not really sure what happened next, because everyone that was sitting there trying to watch this film was bored to tears.

I turned it off when Tarzan was reunited with the apes who raised him.

:: yawn ::

Much like the flop John Carter, apparently Edgar Rice Burroughs just doesn't translate well to the big screen.

It looked really beautiful, has a wonderful cast that did their best...

But man, totally didn't connect with us at all.

Maybe if they had jazzed things up with some Phil Collins in the background?

:)

Final Grade: D+

Our First DC Premiere..."Suicide Squad"

Suicide Squad (2016)

Rated PG-13

Starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jai Courtney, Viola Davis, Jared Leto, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Cara Delevingne, Joel Kinnaman, Karen Fukuhara, Adam Beach, David Harbour

Written and Directed by David Ayer

The Story:

Amanda Waller (Davis) has decided that in a world with more and more metahuman activity, she needs to assemble a team that is able and willing to do whatever it takes to protect National Security. After all, the next Superman might just be a hostile. So she rounds up the worst of the worst, implants them with a transmitter that doubles as a bomb, and under the leadership of Rick Flag (Kinnaman), the Suicide Squad is born.

Or...

The Story:

A group of scoundrels we've never met before team up to save the world while tossing off one-liners during action sequences set to a cool soundtrack.

Sound familiar?

Yes, Marvel Studios did that 2 years ago with Guardians of the Galaxy, and earlier this year with Deadpool from Fox.

Sorry folks, in the world of superhero movies, comparisons are inevitable.

But let's make this perfectly clear up front, don't compare Suicide Squad to the Avengers, at that point we move from comparing apples to oranges to apples and bananas. Save that comparison for when they finally roll Justice League into theaters.

So, is this movie as bad as Rotten Tomatoes claims, and rabid fanboys have decried that since this is the second DC movie in a row with low scores, that site should be shut down?

No.

It's totally watchable.

Is it rewatchable, either in theaters or at home?

That's debatable.

The Good:

I got to hang out with some of my kids at the movies. Can't ever go wrong with bonding over popcorn and a movie, am I right?!? :)

Viola Davis owns her role as Amanda Waller. She might actually be more frightening than Batman. :)

Will Smith returns to form in his first action flick since 2012's MiB3, and it's a welcome return. It's like an old suit that he slips right into, and watching this film makes me ready for his return as Mike Lowry in Bad Boys 3 (and apparently 4!)

Margot Robbie owns Harley Quinn. While I would have preferred her actual outfit, well, this is the revamped Harley costume they want to go with. Still, when these two are onscreen, the movie picks up tremendously.

The rest of the crew?

When they are given anything to do, it's quite enjoyable. Bonus points to Jai Courtney for actually putting some charisma into a role for a change, his Captain Boomerang is one of the high points as well.

The Bad:

Everyone else is woefully underused and underdeveloped. It seems like most are there simply to give Deadshot and Harley a breather in the action.

The villain? Also falls into the meh, who cares department. But, it was pretty much that way too when they used her in Ghostbusters. :)

The Joker. Totally could have done without him. Aside from the backstory with Harley, which is necessary, he actually becomes a distraction as the film wears on. As for him channeling both Nicholson and Ledger as his inspiration, I found it seemed to channel more of Jim Carrey's Riddler.

Setting scenes to music can be effective.

Setting nearly every scene to music can be overdone.

They decided to dial it up to 11 and introduce everyone to their own killer beat, when it might have been more effective to stagger all of the team introductions out through the film versus one after the other after the other.

Ah well, not my film, not my universe.

: )

That said, of the 2 (or is it 3?) films from the DC "Shared Universe", this is easily my favorite.

I've yet to see Batman vs. Superman (and the kids still don't want to see it!) but it's coming next week on Netflix.

And Man of Steel sucked.

Though I don't think it's considered part of the shared universe, or at least probably wasn't before it tanked.

Finally, you can tell the film was meddled with, even without reading all of the reports about the reshoots after Batman vs. Superman was given a resounding thumbs down upon reception.

We'll see where DC goes from here, but you have to hope, at least for their sake as well as the audience, that they are correcting the ship and if not trying to outright copy the Marvel movie formula, at least copy the part where we like seeing their movies.

:)

Final Grade: C+

The War In Afghanistan..."Whiskey Tango Foxtrot "

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016)

Rated R

Starring Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Alfred Molina, Christopher Abbott, Billy Bob Thornton, Nicholas Braun, Evan Jonigkeit

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa

The Story:

In 2003, the war in Iraq has pulled all of the world's major journalists there to cover the story. Turning to whatever resources they have left, new reporters are sent to Afghanistan to cover that story. Kim Baker (Fey) is selected and heads to Afghanistan even though she's never worked in front of the camera before. However, her inquisitive nature and determination help her immensely as she befriends her colleagues, the military and the Afghan locals.

Yes, this is a true story.

And while there are many amusing things that happen, this falls more along the dramedy realm than a straight up zany Tina Fey movie.

So make sure you know that going in, or you too may think..."Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!"
Or some equivalent.
:)

Had Tina Fey written it, it's likely it would have been even funnier, but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, and there is plenty of that to go around in the film.

She's surrounded with some wonderful supporting characters, especially Christopher Abbott as her interpreter and Billy Bob Thornton as General Hollanek.

Along the way, Kim uncovers the cold truth about the war: while Americans love and support the military, they just don't want to see it, or the harsh realities of war played out on the television nightly.

That was true then in 2006, when everyone was tired of it.

A decade later, it's sadly even more true.

Final Grade: B

Financial Crisis Fodder... "The Big Short"

The Big Short (2015)

Rated R

Starring Ryan Gosling, Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Brad Pitt, John Magaro, Finn Wittrock,

Directed by Adam McKay

The Story:

3 separate but equal stories propel the story of the collapse of the housing market. Michael Burry (Bale) begins the proceedings with the realization that the housing bubble is about to explode, not just pop. He invests the millions he has under his control on the fact that this will happen. Banks line up to take his money, and the waiting and the "are you crazy?" begins. Meanwhile Jared Vennett (Gosling) learns of the venture and proposes it to just about everyone until Mark Baum (Carell) decides to invest as well. Finally, two young entrepreneurs (Magaro and Wittrock) enlist the reclusive Ben Rickert (Pitt) to get their feet in the door so they too can all bet against the housing market to crash.

Something it had never, ever done before.

Bet you know how this one ends, right?

Correct, because most of us lived through it, and still haven't fully recovered.

That's what makes this movie so irritating.

It's good, don't get me wrong.

However, McKay has to enlist some weird shtick throughout the movie to inject humor in an otherwise humorless situation.

Why is Margot Robbie in a bathtub? For no other reason than to put her in a tub of bubbles and explain part of the financial crisis.

So the movie can be jarring in delivery from time to time, but otherwise, it's a pretty compelling movie.

However, it's also extremely depressing because you realize that you're rooting for these people to "win", which means the average homeowner loses.

The banks got bailed out, these guys got rich, and it was everyone with a mortgage who ended up getting screwed.

So that sort of tempers the overall enjoyment of the film.

That said, all of the actors do a great job, and you have to give credit to Steve Carell for giving probably the best, and most passionate and pained performance of the entire cast.

Final Grade:  B

If They Would Have Just Used A Bit More "Focus" On The Script

Focus (2015)

Rated R

Starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Adrian Martinez, Gerald McRaney, Rodrigo Santoro,

Written and Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa

The Story:

Nicky (Smith) is a really smooth con man with a great network of hustlers that help him work really big jobs. He takes a green rookie named Jess (Robbie) under his wing because she's a natural talent that just needs some...

focus.

Ooo.

See what I did there?

: )

Anyway, they work on the gig, and then go their separate ways.

They run into each other a few years later, each working on different cons that are both targeting the same guy.

Will their feelings for each other ruin an otherwise extremely elaborate ruse and wind up getting someone killed?

I try and avoid talking too much about the plots of heist/con man movies because that often takes out any or all the fun of watching them.

Ficarra and Requa have teamed again to bring another dramatic comedy to the screen.

My problem, here comes the soapbox, is this film would have played perfectly, and perhaps better, with a PG-13 tag. I don't think there's a line of dialogue that a writer has to write using Carlin's list of words you can't say on television, and not still convey the message you're trying to get across.

Take out the language, the film softens to a PG-13, more people go, even families, and more people turns this into a box office hit instead of a financial flop.

The heists and scams are always enjoyable to see orchestrated on the big screen, and this film tries to up the ante on what Nicky can, and will, be able to pull off.

Could've been better, still wasn't that bad.

Final Grade: B-