Not All Christian Films Are Created Equal... "Hardflip"

Hardflip (2012)

Rated PG-13

Starring Randy Wayne, Rosanna Arquette, John Schneider

Directed by Johnny Remo

The Story:

Caleb (Wayne) is an angry young man.  He channels that anger on his skateboard, and he's really, really good.  However his mom (Arquette) is ill and he needs to help raise money to pay for her treatments.  He discovers who his father (Schneider) is during this period, and the two meet an he wants to help Caleb an his mom, but Caleb wants nothing to do with it.  He'll do it on his own, and become a sponsored skater.  Good luck dude!

I've talked before about not all Christian films being equal.  Once upon a time they were very low budget, not a great story and the acting was usually sub-par.  Then one day, while the budgets didn't rise astronomically, they improved and so to did the story and acting.

Hardflip is a throwback to the old days, sadly.

While the acting is fine, the story and characters, especially Caleb, are just so unlikeable, I never formed a bond with the film and really cared about what was going to happen.

The skateboarding visuals are fine, so I don't know, perhaps this film will appeal to the younger, angry teenage crowd more than it did to me.

:)

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough for me with this film.

The Right Manny For The Job... "The Pacifier"

The Pacifier (2005)

Rated PG

Starring Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Brittany Snow, Max Thieriot, Carol Kane, Morgan York, Kegan & Logan Hoover

Directed by Adam Shankman

The Story:

Navy SEAL Shane Wolf (Diesel) is reassigned to protect the family of a scientist who died.  While the mom (Ford) goes with the Navy to attempt to find out what her husband left behind, Shane must babysit the kids (Snow, Thieriot, York and Hoover).  Naturally, his way of doing things, and the way the kids think things should be done are at odds.  However, bad guys are lurking and if the kids and Shane don't kill each other first, the bad guys might take them all out.

It's Uncle Buck meets Under Siege.

Actually, that's a pretty good description.

Vin Diesel struck out into family friendly territory with The Pacifier.
Much like The Rock, Disney took an action star and tried to turn him into a family friendly movie star.

In both cases, it pretty much worked.

Now, you can dislike this film (or any of the Rock's) all you want, but Disney succeeded with what they set out to do.

That the Tooth Fairy and The Pacifier teamed up in Fast Five for one of the most successful movies in the Fast & Furious franchise?

Full circle.

:)

I like films like this that allow action stars to broaden their career into comedy.  It's one of the muscles they usually only get to flex with a quick one-liner or a sarcastic dispatching of a villain.

If you can pull off broad, family friendly slapstick and walk away with your career intact, you're going to be somebody.

It doesn't hurt if you've got the charisma of Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johnson though.

:)

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Harmless fun for the whole family.  The kids love it, and it's an enjoyable film to revisit every so often.

The Touching Tale Of A Girl And Her Dog... "Lilo & Stitch"

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Rated PG for violence

Starring the voices of Daveigh Chase, Chris Sanders, Tia Carrere, David Ogden Stiers, Ving Rhames

Directed by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois

The Story:

Experiment 626 (Sanders) is destined for banishmen due to his destructive behavior, but escapes to Earth instead.  Meanwhile on Earth, Lilo (Chase) is having a hard time fitting in, being raised by her sister, Nani (Carrere) who faces the prospect of losing custody of Lilo by the new social worker, Mr. Bubbles (Rhames).  Landing in Hawaii, he is adopted as a dog by Lilo and renamed Stitch.  However, the galactic empire is coming to get Stitch back, dead or alive.

You know those critics that proclaim Frozen as the greatest film in a generation?

Let me offer up 2002's Lilo and Stitch as rebuttal.

Hogwash!

While this came after the Disney renaissance of The Little Mermaid-Lion King era, it more than stands on its own as one of Disney's best efforts at a time when every Pixar movie was a mega-hit and Disney was quickly becoming an afterthought.

Mixing several story modes at first might seem like a jumble, Sanders an DeBlois adeptly weave the tales of:

Galactic Prisoner Escape!
A Girl's First Pet
Custodial Issues
Despair Over Job Issues
Discovering Family

Into a charming, funny, and yes, sometimes even sad, tale that whisks the viewer into Lilo's world and holds you until the end.

Wisely, the movie was not a cutesy musical, but instead relied on Lilo's love of Elvis to provide musical narration for some classic comedy or cinematic narrative moments.

Also, the Hawaiian Roller Coaster original song during the surfing scene is a nice touch, again, a musical number without making the characters burst into song, nicely done.

The voice work is very well done, no distracting celebrity voice to possibly distract from the characters.

The great part about having kids of multiple ages, when you rediscover the good animated fare that you may not have seen for awhile as some of the kids have grown up and moved on.

Nice to see these two again after a few years!

Available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I already own it, but I'm glad it's streaming, that's what got it back on the radar!

Maybe 'Above Average'?... "The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen"

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

Rated PG-13 for violence

Starring Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Tony Curran, Stuart Townsend, Shane West, Jason Flemyng

Directed by Stephen Norrington

The Story:

In an alternate Victorian era where characters from literature are actually real-life, a group of adventurers is gathered to stop a madman's quest for world domination.  Led by Allan Quatermain (Connery), he is joined by Captain Nemo (Shah), vampire Mina Harker (Wilson), an Invisible Man (Curran), the immortal Dorian Gray (Townsend), Dr. Jekyll (Flemyng) and US Secret Service Agent Tom Sawyer (West).  Their quest begins, but can even this formidable assemblage of adventurers save the world?

Probably.

Based on a comic book series by Alan Moore that I never bothered to read, the idea is actually very smart and clever.

Thinking back to old Looney Tunes cartoons where the books could come to life and characters could jump in and out of each other's stories, why not have a world where literature's finest fictional characters are actual flesh and blood?

In the annals of comic book movies, this one is easily overlooked by the heroes in spandex.

It also didn't have the oomph of a lesser known property, like Men in Black, to just take the world by storm and create its own franchise.

You can point a dozen fingers with what may be wrong with the film.

Too many characters?
Too many characters that moviegoers might not be that familiar with?
So much infighting among the heroes, nobody cares about them catching the bad guy?

That said, this is a much better film for Connery to work in than the remake of The Avengers.

However, for the final film in his distinguished career, this film is a bittersweet farewell to one of the cinematic legends of the screen.

I would not have been opposed to a sequel if they could tighten up the storyline, and perhaps lured Connery out of retirement, but now too many years have passed, and it just wouldn't work now.

Speaking of alternate universes, in mine, Shane West would have been hired to play Spider-Man in the Sam Raimi franchise.

Younger than Tobey, this is the guy I was hoping would have become the web-slinger.

Much like this movie, I am left to lament "what could have been"...

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's okay, but nothing I would go out of my to own.  If it was on, and I couldn't find the remote, there are worse things to sit through again.

That Was A Close One! "Hitler's Secret Attack On America"

Hitler's Secret Attack on America (2012)

N/R

Directed by Devon Chivvis

The Story:

The National Geographic Channel offers up a documentary about Operation Drumbeat, one of the most successful, yet unknown battles of World War II.

Why?

Because it was waged right off of the Atlantic seaboard of America and the government did not want Americans to panic!

Now, settle in and learn a few things.

This is the story of how Germany sailed U-boats right off the East coast just days after Pearl Harbor, and then began sinking American (and other) boats.

Using recreated footage, file footage and speculation, the tale unfolds fairly fast in this 45 minute documentary.

Much of the documentary also unfolds in the present, as divers attempt to locate and actually dive shipwrecks of some of the ships lost by the U-boat attacks, and perhaps a German sub as well.

Some pretty interesting things to learn in the documentary, one of which is how close the Germans came to coming ashore for some diabolical plots to unfold.

If you've got an hour to spare, you can stream this on Netflix as of this writing.

Be advised, a little over halfway through, the audio went out on this program.  I attempted to watch it again for 3 or 4 days until the problem finally corrected itself for me.

Hopefully your audio experience is better.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nah, this is a one-time visit.  Interesting subject to be sure, but not interesting enough to come back to on multiple visits.

Promises Promises... "The Wedding Pact"

The Wedding Pact (2014)

Not Rated

Starring Haylie Duff, Chris Soldevilla

Written & Directed by Matt Berman

The Story:

Mitch (Soldevilla) and Emily (Duff) were best friends in college.  On graduation day, Emily makes an off-the-cuff remark that if the two aren't married in the next decade, they should totally get together.  Fast forward 10 years, and Mitch isn't married, and neither is Emily.  So Mitch embarks on a journey to get "the one that got away".  Of course when he arrives and learns that Emily is getting married in 10 days and insists that Mitch stays for the wedding...

Well, he's got 10 days to learn to live with it, or to win Emily back... for the first time.

I'm assuming this was either a direct to DVD or television movie, because writing up that plot synopsis for the film totally screams either of those two items.

Nothing new that you haven't seen before in any romantic comedy like this.

The cast is fine and there are some genuinely amusing antics that take place in the movie.

Overall though, not a horrible way to spend 90 minutes with your date night or family night at the movies.

Just not one that is screaming THE MUST SEE ROMANTIC COMEDY OF THE YEAR!!

Available to stream on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No purchase, but totally harmless to play as a background movie in the future.

Bait And Switch... "Gambit"

Gambit (2012)

Rated PG-13 for language and partial nudity

Starring Colin Firth, Cameron Diaz, Tom Courtenay, Alan Rickman

Directed by Michael Hoffman

The Story:

Harry Deane (Firth) is an art curator who is sick of his boss (Rickman).  So he decides to conspire with The Major (Courtenay) to dupe him into buying a fake Monet painting.  Their plan hinges on the cooperation of a Texas rodeo queen (Diaz).  But with all good heists... things never quite go as planned.

This is a fun little heist caper, written by the Coen brothers.

It starts off with a perfect retelling of what is supposed to happen with the heist as imagined by Harry.

Naturally, as soon as the wheels are set in motion...

Everything falls apart!

As with most heist films, I don't want to divulge too much.

The cast did a great job, and there's a couple of inspired scenes in the movie.

I would have liked a little more like those scenes with word-play or character actions/reactions/interactions.

That said, it wasn't too bad, and Firth and Rickman are both great in their roles, as usual.

Final Grade: B-...maybe a B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't think I'd buy it, but I wouldn't mind seeing it again in the future.

We Need To Talk "About Last Night"

About Last Night (2014)

Rated R for language and situations

Starring Kevin Hart, Regina Hall, Michael Ealy, Joy Bryant

Directed by Steve Pink

The Story:

Bernie (Hart) and Joan (Hall) hit it off on a date, so naturally they hoped to hook up their best friends Danny (Ealy) and Debbie (Bryant) and maybe those two would hit it off and be happy.  And they do, and they are for some time.  However into every life some reality will come, and when the going gets tough, will these couples fight to keep a relationship, or simply go their separate ways?

A romantic comedy/dramedy remake of a 1986 film starring Rob Lowe and Demi Moore that I never bothered to get around to watching.

Given what I've seen of this film, there's no big loss, though they do offer a nice meta-moment by having the characters in this film watch that film during the movie.

Clever.

This movie is watchable, but not very memorable.

The best part of the movie is probably the unleashing of Hart and Hall to literally go at it (figuratively and literally) in the movie.  So over-the-top, you can't help but laugh at their conversations.

However, they are supposed to be second-fiddle to the main love story, so when the main story is kind of boring...

That doesn't exactly set this up for a memorable picture.

So yes, it's watchable, but on the list of recent Kevin Hart pictures or romantic comedy/dramedy, this one comes in a dead last place.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough.  Hopefully this doesn't get remade again in 30 years.

Definitely For The Birds... "A Birder's Guide To Everything"

A Birder's Guide To Everything (2013)

Rated PG-13 for language and brief nudity

Starring Kodi Smit-McPhee, Ben Kingsley, Alex Wolff, James Le Gros, Michael Chen, Katie Chang

Directed by Rob Meyer

The Story:

David (McPhee) is a 15 year old member of the high school birding club.  He catches a picture of what may be a Labrador Duck.  The problem with that?  That animal is extinct!  Working with his two best friends and fellow birders (Wolff and Chen) and the audiovisual girl (Chang), the boys are about to go on a road trip to prove the duck is alive!  The real problem: it's the same weekend David's dad (Le Gros) is getting remarried.  Will the duck cost David his relationship with his dad?

I've reviewed movies like this before.

Not bird-watching movies, per se...

But movies that want to tell multiple stories in the course of the running time, and ultimately are unable to get any real momentum into any main story and at the end of the film you simply shrug your shoulders and say...

Meh.

What's on tap here?

A coming of age story.
First romance.
Rebellious teen.
Underdog "sports" team (if you consider birding a sport)

So again, you start swirling these little stories together, and get no real traction with the big story.

Stuff. Simply. Happens.

Add to the chaos, a birding expert (Kingsley) who is basically a throw-away part for the most recognizable name in the movie.

Again, it's okay, but nothing great.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd have to pass on replay value.

It's The End Of The World As They Know It... "Pompeii"

Pompeii (2014)

Rated PG-13 for gladiatorial fighting and volcanic eruption

Starring Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Directed by Paul W. S. Anderson

The Story:

Milo (Harington) is the last of his people.  Enslaved and forced to fight as a gladiator, he finds himself in Pompeii days before the most exciting thing to happen to that place... ever!  Of course, to get to the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius itself he has to survive his impending combat with Atticus (Agbaje) an undefeated gladiator.  Add in the love story with the princess (Browning) and a chance for revenge against the man who killed his family (Sutherland).  The odds are so stacked against Milo, you almost think he's going to make it out of the movie alive!

Oops.

Spoilers.

So naturally this is based on the shocking events of Pompeii, the absolute worst volcanic eruption in the history of forever.

Not content to go straight up epic drama, Pompeii instead decides to crib from any multitude of previous stories to make one epic motion picture event.

There's a little bit of Titanic, Gladiator, Jaws and even Major League sprinkled in this feature, to name but a few.

But that's okay.

We all know going into this one how everything is going to end.

The movie itself is engaging enough that it remains watchable and mostly enjoyable throughout.

I'm giving them a thumbs up for effort.

Final Grade: B- though most would give this the C range... I'm feeling generous!

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not in any hurry to own it, I'll be more than happy to watch it again in the future on cable or streaming.

"That Awkward Moment" When You Realize The Film Is Actually Pretty Funny

That Awkward Moment (2014)
Rated for language, crudity and general naughtiness

Starring Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan

Written & Directed by Tom Gormican

The Story:

Mikey (Jordan) has been dumped by his wife.  His best friends, and perpetually single bachelors Jason (Efron) and Daniel (Teller)  tell Mikey he won't go through single-life alone.  They are in it together!  Then naturally, they both find the girls of their dreams and things get awkward.

Look out Hollywood, there's a new Judd Apatow in town.

A talented writer/director with a penchant for naughty, but with a slice of heart to go along with it, thus making that elusive R rated date movie Romantic Comedy that the guys love, and the ladies can tolerate.  Tom Gormican is that new talent, and for his first film, he's pretty much knocked one out of the park.

The story is a lot of fun, and the dialogue is funny, with several laugh out loud bits scattered through the movie.

The ladies aren't treated as just objects, they are multi-dimensional characters who are given quality time in the film.

However, it is the film for the guys to run with, and Efron continues to leave his Disney roots far behind him.  His sense of comic timing serves him well, and I've been suitably impressed with his dramatic and comedic offerings that he's worked on since graduating from High School Musical.

Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller play perfect best friends.  While not as much screen time as Efron, their stories are well fleshed out and they get to grow as characters throughout the movie.

If you haven't seen it yet, give it a spin, I'm pretty sure you'll laugh quite a bit.

Final Grade: B/B- range.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably not a purchase, R rated comedies have limited audience in my house, but if it's on cable in the future and I'm up late with the baby...I'm ready to laugh again!

Avoid Being Drafted Into "Frankenstein's Army"

Frankenstein's Army (2013)
Rated R for language and violence

Starring Karel Roden, Joshua Sasse, Robert Gwilym, Alexander Mercury, Luke Newberry

Directed by Richard Raaphorst

The Story:

World War II is coming to a close, and a Russian unit pushing through into Germany discovers a secret lab.  Inside, Nazi scientists were experimenting Victor Frankenstein style and combining the bodies of the dead with pieces of machinery to create unstoppable weapons in a last-ditch effort to win the war.  Will the Russians save the day, or is humanity doomed?

Based on the grotesque true story...

No, not really.

Based on someone's pretty crazy imagination though, this film does pretty good for a B movie trying to make a horror/World War II film.

For the most part, they completely succeed.

Shot almost entirely as a handheld documentary/found footage affair, you know you're going to be subjected to shaky camera syndrome and the usual jumps and starts that go with that genre.

It also plays like a hybrid cross between Medal of Honor or Call of Duty in the first person shooter.

Opening doors, diving behind things for cover.

Great work on the monsters.  They seem to be a perfect balance of nightmare yet completely plausible, and that adds to the drama and tension, especially as they close in on the Russians.

This film is currently available to stream on Netflix for those interested.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough for me.

Not The Worst Television Remake Of All Time..."Bewitched"

Bewitched (2005)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine,

Directed by Nora Ephron

The Story:

Jack Wyatt (Ferrell) is on the ropes with his movie career.  He's had a few bombs, so he is hoping that a trip to the small screen in a remake of the beloved 60s sitcom Bewitched will be just the ticket.  But Jack wants to make sure he's the star, so the plan is to find an unknown to play Samantha and that way Darrin can be the focus of the show.  When he meets Isabel (Kidman), Jack realizes that she is perfect.  He's smitten, and she's cast.  However, what Jack doesn't know is that Isabel really is a witch, and she's got some ideas of her own.

So where did this one go off the rails?

Nearing the 10th anniversary of this film, and I gave it a spin again recently.

It was still cute.

No, it's nothing to set the world on fire or change cinema forever...

But come on, it wasn't that bad.

Perhaps it had a built-in hatred from audiences even before it was released?

After all, people complain about the bankruptcy of Hollywood ideas and the constant recycling and remaking of old properties.

Then you advertise that you are remaking Bewitched, and audiences hated it on principle alone.

Of course, it arrives with a twist, it's a remake within a movie, so it's very clever in NOT being a remake.

Add to that the clever notion that Isabel and her family are witches, and it should have been enough to appease the haters, but it failed.

Why?  Hard to say.

Ephron gave it her best as writer and director, and the cast is first-rate.

Kidman gives a spunky, humorous performance as Isabel/Samantha.  Even down to the nose twitch, she plays the part well.

Ferrell plays the ego-centric but mostly harmless Jack with his usual goofy, everyman charm.

MacLaine vamps it up as an aging Hollywood diva and Michael Caine plays pretty much himself.

Don't forget the delightful cameo by Steve Carell channeling his best Paul Lynde as Uncle Arthur, and this was a movie that should've been better than it was.

It should've been better received and remembered.

Final Grade: C+/B- Range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's cute..it's sweet..it's harmless.  Perfect movie to watch on a slow night.

If Everyone Has Seen It, Is It Still "The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty" ?

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Adam Scott, Sean Penn

Directed by Ben Stiller

The Story:

Walter Mitty (Stiller) works for Life Magazine. Life has been bought out and Ted Hendricks (Scott) comes to Life to oversee the transfer from print to digital. When famed photographer Sean O'Connell sends Mitty the negative that is to be the cover of the final issue of Life, he can't find it!  Mitty's previous daydreams of adventure turn real as he goes on a global quest to track down O'Connell to find out why he didn't send the actual negative.

The hook for "Walter Mitty" comes in his daydreams to escape reality.

Perhaps surprisingly, I actually didn't care too much for the movie when Mitty kept having his daydreams.

It is when he actually undertook the task of tracking down O'Connell that the movie began to fully win me over.  Granted, he still had a few daydreams, but they were much shorter, and much less far-fetched than those that had come earlier.

At that point, Mitty became the Everyman that audiences root for to succeed.  We become invested in his quest to track down the missing negative.

Of course, like the rest of the audience, odds are you will figure out where the picture really is, but that isn't the mystery so much as what is on the picture.

What could convey to the audience what could be one of the most important images in Life's storied history?

Needless to say, they nailed it.

It's a beautiful image that might even bring a tear to your eye as you realize that no matter how great technology has become, we are quickly losing so much of our historic past at an alarming rate.

Pretty profound for a comedy.

I have no comparison with the original as to how much or how little is made from the previous movie or story upon which it is based.

All I do know, is I'm glad I got to share in Walter Mitty's Life, no matter how briefly it was.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'm not rushing out to buy it, but I wouldn't mind watching it again.

Casey Kasem R.I.P. 1932-2014

Father's Day brought an end to the life and times of Casey Kasem.  A weird story with some bizarre occurrences in the last days of his life.

Basically, he had a whacked-out family.

But enough about them, this post is meant to honor and remember, at least for me, the greatest on-air radio personality in my lifetime:  Casey Kasem.

Little did I realize at the time, that I had known Casey's work much earlier in life before I ever switched on a Pop station in the 80s and became hooked on 80s music forever.

But more on that in a minute! ;)

As you can see by the picture, Casey was hard at work making sure kids of the 60s/70s and early 80s enjoyed some quality television.

I'm not sure which order I met him first, was it Shaggy then Robin, or vice versa?

Either way, he was the perfect voice for one half of two of the best dynamic duos in cartoons.

Holy Sidekick Batman, it's hard to believe that the same guy who voiced Robin could turn around and give the same life to the ultimate 60s stoner-who's-not-a-stoner, Shaggy.

But really, if you take Shaggy away from Scooby Doo, that's like taking Abbott away from Costello: it just doesn't work.

I love that Hanna Barbera kept Kasem as the voice of Shaggy for future generations as well.  It's an amazing legacy, and if he had done nothing further, I'd still be typing this remembrance for him.

But no...

Casey brought me Pop Music every weekend in the form of American Top 40.  I was there, counting them down every week, watching my favorites climb the charts while past favorites dropped out of favor.

I used the cassette function of my boom box (!!!) to make compilations of some of my favorite songs.  I even played a bunch of tapes on the school bus for those long 30 minute rides to school.  So well-played back in the day, I still think of songs that would come next on my tape when I hear them on the radio, or the squelch of stopping Casey in mid-speech as we came out of a song.

:)

When they let Casey go in the late 80s and replaced him with Shadoe Stevens, I left the countdown as well.  Would catch Casey doing his Top 10 on television on occasion,  but it just wasn't the same.

Listening to what AT40 has become under Ryan Seacrest is a travesty... arbitrary rankings, sleaze versus actual stories about the artists....

I weep for future generations of music lovers.

And today, I weep a bit for the passing of a very influential part of my growing up.

However, while I don't have Sirius XM, our local station does play replays of American Top 40: The 80s every Sunday from 8-nooon.

It's a great trip down memory lane, and one I try to catch at least a few minutes of every week.

Rest in Peace Casey, and thank you!

As you advised me every week growing up, I will keep my feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!

"Roxanne"... You Don't Have To Be A Police Song...

Roxanne (1987)

Rated PG for language

Starring Steve Martin, Darryl Hannah, Rick Rossovich

Directed by Fred Schepisi

The Story:

C.D. Bales (Martin) is a fire chief in a small town.  Roxanne (Hannah) an astronomer comes to town and Bales is smitten. He hires Chris (Rossovich) as a fireman, and Roxanne thinks he's hot.  No pun intended.  She hopes that C.D. can help hook them up.  But Chris is a clod when it comes to the ladies, so through some elaborate ruses, Bales tries to woo Roxanne by proxy.

Steve Martin's masterpiece.  Taking the play Cyrano de Bergerac and rewriting it as an updated romantic comedy was a stroke of genius.

Theoretically this story would work, even without Bales' ginormous nose, but that offers the fun, and insecurity in Bales character.

Take away the nose, and there is no way Bales lets Chris anywhere near Roxanne.

So Martin leaves the main character vulnerable, yet so much stronger in every sense of the word.

The comedy is light, breezy, but smart all the way through.

The supporting cast is wonderful comic fodder for the situations within the town when the story isn't concentrating on the romance.

Closing in on the 30th anniversary, it's still as funny as when it was first released.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own it, and I would say it gets played every other year or so.

How To Enjoy The Weekend Part 2: "How To Train Your Dragon 2"

How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

Rated PG for violence and dragons!

Starring Jay Baruchel, America Ferrera, Cate Blanchett, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, Djimon Honsou

Directed by Dean DeBlois

The Story:

It's been several years since we last met the Vikings of Berk on the big screen, and as the film opens, it turns out they have adjusted to life quite well being dragon-riders.  Stoik (Butler) has designs on Hiccup (Baruchel) taking over as Chieftan of Berk, but Hiccup is too busy trying to find his way in the world and deciding what he really wants to be.  He's having too much fun exploring the world with Toothless and discovering all of the new lands.  It's on one of these adventures when he discovers two very important things:  there is an evil army collecting dragons in preparation for war; there is a mysterious dragon-rider who has ties to Berk and could help Hiccup unlock more dragon secrets than he ever imagined.

Dreamworks Animation has done it again.

That's pretty much your spoiler-free review right there!

:)

If you loved the first one, and just about everyone who has ever seen it, does... well, you're going to love this one.

If you've missed the first one, I don't think you'd be too terribly lost.  The narration provides you everything you need to get caught up, but it doesn't feel like a horrid rehash of what has gone one before.

The animation is mesmerizing.  Such beautiful landscapes, it's absolutely breathtaking.

The voice work is top-notch, with several new characters being introduced alongside all of your favorites from the first film.

What can be said about Toothless?  Perhaps the cutest animal ever to appear on film.  Half cat... half dog...

All dragon.

The only piece of advice I might offer...

Don't be surprised if like over half of my viewing companions last night...

Tears might be shed.

You've been warned.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's a purchase...no question.  Only a few of the family will see it in theaters, the rest are waiting for DVD. 

Will there be a 3rd outing?  Hard to say, but if they choose to, we'll be back!

How To Enjoy Your Weekend..."How To Train Your Dragon"

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)
Rated PG for violence and dragons

Starring Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, Jonah Hill, Kristin Wiig, America Ferrera,

Directed by Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders

The Story:

On the island of Berk, the Vikings are led by Stoick the Vast (Butler).  What these Vikings do is try an survive and kill dragons when they are attacked.  Stoick's son Hiccup (Baruchel) is not exactly the Viking his dad had hoped he would be.  Very imaginative, but not very...Viking-like...Hiccup wants to help out, but nobody really wants him around.  When he uses one of his contraptions to actually shoot down the elusive Night Fury dragon, Hiccup will go to prove that he's got what it takes to be a Viking.  However, when he finds his dragon, he is going to discover that everything the Vikings thought they know about dragons...

Is a lie!

Better late than never is one way to approach this film.

My kids have adored this movie for the last 4 years, and they always begged me to watch it.  I would always come up with some excuse or another to not join in the festivities, so this one remained unseen by me until recently.

However, with a sequel set to come out today, and the kids hoping that I will either take them, or maybe go with them, there was no time like the present to give this one a shot.

Boy, am I glad I did.

Continuing in a line of impressive Dreamworks Animated films, this movie has everything you want in an animated movie:

a) It's absolutely gorgeous
b) The voice cast is great, but not overbearing in stunt celebrity casting
c) The story itself is enjoyable
d) There is a deeper heartfelt aspect to the movie that proves it's not just for kids.

Sadly, many of Dreamworks offerings are overlooked at the box office, but when they have a hit, it hits big!

It's weird at the feast or famine aspect of Dreamworks at the box office.  This was every bit as enjoyable as Rise of the Guardians or Turbo, but those two were flops and this was a success.

At this stage in the game, Dreamworks should be celebrated like Pixar.  They aren't, and that's puzzling.

I won't attempt to explain it, I'll just admit that I'm disappointed.

At the end of the movie, the film has resolved all of the issues that were raised during the film.

That they put their hero(es) as capable to save the day with a disability is an extra feather in the cap that Dreamworks should really be proud of.

As usual, my kids were right, and I'm glad they finally got me to come around.

It won't be 4 years until I see the sequel.

If you or your kids haven't seen it yet, or as a primer for this weekend's sequel, I highly encourage you to do so!

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I already own it.  Looking forward to the sequel.  And this marks the 2nd Dreamworks Animated film in the running for Best Films of 2014. If Part 2 is half as good, I may end up with 3 animated features from one studio all vying for the top spot!

Come back tomorrow and see how Part 2 fared!

:)

I Guess It's Better Than Being An Ice Queen? "Ice Princess"

Ice Princess (2005)
Rated G

Starring Michelle Trachtenberg, Joan Cusack, Hayden Panettiere, Kim Cattrall, Trevor Blumas

Directed by Tim Fywell

The Story:

Casey (Trachtenberg) is a great student who loves math and science.  She puts these skills together to do a study on figure skaters in the hopes of getting a scholarship to college.  Her passion comes through in the project, and she yearns to skate.  Offering her analysis of how to skate better, she trades for some ice time under demanding coach Tina Harwood (Cattrall).  Casey gets really good, really fast, which poses a threat to Gen Harwood's (Panettiere) chances of fame and fortune.

Sounds like trouble!

The funny thing is though, the trouble doesn't happen between the teen girls.  Nope, it's the coach who feels most threatened.

Then add in a romance with the Coach's son (Blumas) and Casey having arguments with her mom (Cusack) about even wanting to be an ice skater, and you have a nearly perfect coming of age film for teenage girls.

Revisited almost a decade after watching it the first time, it's still a pretty good film.

Not too sugary, not too sappy.

The characters come off multidimensional and not just wooden stereotypes, and that is always a plus.

It's a Disney film, so you pretty much know what you're getting into, but they still do a good job of not telegraphing every moment of the film.

So if you've got teen or tween daughters, here's a movie you can watch along with them, and there's not a sparkling vampire to be found.

:)

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I meant to buy it years ago but never did.  We'll see if I pick it up before or after my next teen/tweens outgrow it. ;)

You're Invited For A Little "Ride Along"

Ride Along (2014)

Rated PG-13 for language and violence

Starring Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Tika Sumpter, John Leguizamo, Laurence Fishburne

Directed by Tim Story:

The Story:

Ben (Hart) is a security guard in love with Angela (Sumpter).  However, her big brother, James (Cube) is an Atlanta detective who doesn't approve of the relationship.  In order to get rid of Ben, he organizes a ride along to scare Ben away from wanting to be a cop, and wanting to be with his sister.  However, when things take a dangerous turn, maybe Ben will show he actually has what it takes to make the grade.

One of the first box office hits of 2014 is available to own on DVD, and it's a pretty good one.

Ice Cube does great, as usual, as a comedic action star.

Reunited with Tim Story (Barbershop), he's back at the top of his game as the tough straight man to Kevin Hart's antics.

Meanwhile, Kevin Hart continues to impress with this follow-up to Grudge Match, this time as a full-fledged co-star and not just the comic relief.

He pulls off the role really well, and keeps the character from being annoying, which is really important to making the film enjoyable.

If you don't like Ben, you won't root for him to succeed and win James' approval, and then the whole movie falls apart.

This film takes the perfect buddy cop, oil and water, formula and plays it to perfection.

You will probably see the twists and turns of the police investigation unfold, but that's okay.

At the end of the day, you'll be glad you came along for the ride.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would have no qualms about adding this one to the library, and I'm looking forward to the sequel.

"Finding Normal" Is Easier Than You Might Think

Finding Normal (2013)

N/R - TV Movie

Starring Candace Cameron Bure, Andrew Bongiorno, Lou Beatty Jr., Trevor St. John

Directed Brian Herzlinger

The Story:

Dr. Lisa Leland (Bure) is a doctor in California who is heading to the Hamptons to marry Dr. Steve (Bongiorno) and make lots of money making house calls.  However, a funny thing happens on the drive to the Hamptons when Dr. Leland runs afoul of the law in Normal, Louisiana.  Faced with jail or community service, she opts to help out the townsfolk as the town doctor for a few days.  She also has a run in with Lucas (St. John) and the two are like oil and water.  Of course her sentence is only for a few days, and then it's on to the Hamptons.  But can you move on after finding Normal?

What do you get when you cross Royal Pains with Doc Hollywood?

Here you go.

Again, that's not a criticism.  I'm a big fan of Doc Hollywood.

Of course, it's a different doctor, a different southern town, and the direction is heading east versus west, but yes, as it unfolds you will get a little bit of deja vu, and that's where you've seen it.

Naturally, for a romantic comedy, you can figure out that Dr. Lisa and Lucas belong together, and that Dr. Steve is a jerk who doesn't deserve Lisa.

However, until Lisa changes as a person in Normal, then really she does belong to Steve.

Aside from Bure, I really haven't seen much of any of the actors, but everyone does a fine job with the story.

It's a sweet little movie, and is available for streaming instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: While I wouldn't need to own it, I could definitely watch it again in the future.

I'm Glad Somebody Loved It..."Romancing The Stone"

Romancing The Stone (1984)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

The Story:

Joan Wilder (Turner) is a world-renowned romance novelist.  Her adventures thrill and delight audiences around the globe, and if the book can make Wilder cry, she knows she's got a hit on her hands.  When a mysterious map arrives, and her sister is kidnapped, Joan is thrust into living one of her own novels as she goes to Colombia to try and get her sister back.  It's there she runs into Jack Colton (Douglas), who embodies everything in a man that she writes about.  The duo decide to pursue the treasure on the map in the hopes of leverage to get her sister back alive.  Will her real-life adventure play out like her novels?

Another 80s classic for many, watched for the first time by yours truly.

Yep, true story!

Everything I needed to know about this film, I saw back in the day in Eddy Grant's "Romancing The Stone" music video.  So I never bothered to watch it.

So 30 years later,  Netflix offers it up for streaming, so I gave it a shot.

Meh.

:)

Again, especially with many of these 80s "classics", I find myself underwhelmed normally when I see them.  Now, plug in another fantastic movie from 1984, like Beverly Hills Cop or Ghostbusters, that I've seen over and over through the years...

Different story.

So I'm always caught in the conundrum:
Are these films not as good because I didn't see them at the time so I have fond memories?

Conversely, are my favorites from this time period only that great BECAUSE of the fond memories I have with them?

Philosophical dilemmas like this would give Socrates and Plato pause.

Now, what did Romancing the Stone bring to the table?

Robert Zemeckis directing his first feature since 1980's underrated Used Cars.  From the documentaries I've watched over the years, this seemed to be his sink or swim feature, and it led to him getting Back to the Future, so that's a plus.

Speaking of Back to the Future, when the movie opens, there is a bit of music that plays, and I swear it's from Back to the Future!  No surprise then to find Alan Silvestri the composer for this film.  Looking at his credits, this was his first real feature film break, and apparently like Spielberg and John Williams, Zemeckis and Silvestri are a dynamic duo in their own right.

As for Kathleen Turner, it kept her star rising, but it brought Michael Douglas back to cinema's forefront.  He had been floundering in a few flops previously, but this one put him back on the map, and he would go on to make some noteworthy films during the next decade.

So I'll give them credit, everything in the film was okay...

I wonder what my grade would be had this not been my first viewing?

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I've gone 30 years between viewings, I think I can hold out that long again. ;)

The Wave Of Underwhelming Animation Continues..."The Nut Job"

The Nut Job (2014)
Rated PG

Starring Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl

Directed by Peter Lepeniotis

The Story:

Things are looking bleak in the City Park as the animals were unable to store enough food for winter.  Raccoon (Neeson) the leader, sends Grayson (Fraser) and Andie (Heigl), two of the smartest squirrels out to get the nuts from a local peanut vendor.  However Surly (Arnett) and his mouse pal Remy...no wait...Buddy... are already casing the joint.  Things get complicated when the nut vendors turn out to be bank robbers planning a heist.

Ooo!

An animated heist film.

And you all know what a fan of heist films I am.

I will also give credit, the heist that the humans are planning is pretty ingenious.

It's just a lot of tediousness of getting to the heist that bogs this one down for me.

There's not a whole lot to the main story, so there's a romantic entanglement between Andie and Surly and the treachery of one of their own from the park.

I know... the horror!

The animation is okay.  This is a throwback to the 50s, and that works really well.

The animals themselves though... eh ... I've seen better designs.

Like I said at the beginning, take a look at the mouse best pal.  He's a cross between Pinky and Remy from Ratatouille.

Again, I hate to be overly harsh as I think this is the first feature from this studio.

It's an okay first effort, and hopefully they can build on it.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would pass on both of these options.

All-Star Heist Action... "The Art Of The Steal"

The Art of the Steal (2013)

Rated R for language

Starring Kurt Russell, Matt Dillon, Jay Baruchel, Kenneth Welsh, Chris Diamantopoulos, Katheryn Winnick, Jason Jones, Terence Stamp

Directed by Johnathan Sobol

The Story:

Crunch Calhoun (Russell) has finally gotten out of jail after his last art theft scam got him caught.  His half-brother Nicky (Dillon) comes to Crunch to try and pull off another heist, and hopes that the whole doing time in jail thing is water under the bridge.  They bring in Crunch's old crew and begin scheming to pull of their next heist.  However, hot on their trail is Interpol Agent Bick (Jones) and with him is convicted art thief Samuel Winter (Stamp) who can vouch for art being real or fake just by looking at it.  Is Crunch going back to prison, or is he going to get away with the biggest score of his life.

Yes indeed, a heist movie!  One of my favorite genres, and this, a direct to DVD offering with a pretty decent cast to it, so it must really suck, right?

Not so fast...

Indeed, the movie starts a little slow, but it's still interesting and keeps you connected to the characters.

Then it builds, and with the final act, you are treated to a payoff that you may, or may not, have seen coming.

And even if you did, it's quite doubtful that you thought of every plot piece that this movie works out perfectly.

That's what brings a "C" movie into the "B" range right there.

In fact, aside from the slow-ish start, once again I'll give the rant:

This movie is Rated R for language.  Which is overused throughout the film. 

Cut it back, widen your audience.

Then again, with one of the pieces of art in the film, and the joke that accompanies it, well, I can almost forgive the rating.

:)

All of the actors are great, and Kurt Russell plays the aging action hero to perfection.

However, the interplay between Jones and Stamp is downright hilarious every time they are on screen and bickering with each other.

Worth a look if you've never seen or heard of it.

Rumor has it, this film should be streaming on Netflix before the month of June is over.

** Update:  Now Streaming As of June 8th **

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Would've gone for a B+ and put it on my Purchase list, but again, the language hampers replayability in a house full of kids.  I need family friendlier heist films like Fast 5 or The Italian Job.  But yes, I could certainly watch it again in the future.

The Race To Recover History..."The Monuments Men"

The Monuments Men (2014)
Rated PG-13 for language and violence

Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon, John Goodman, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Jean Dujardin, Hugh Bonneville, Bob Balaban

Directed by George Clooney

The Story:

Frank Stokes (Clooney) convinces FDR that finding all of the stolen art that the Nazis have made disappear across Europe is a noble pursuit.  Allowing him to assemble his own team, Frank recruits some of the finest art historians of the time and asks them to go in harm's way in search of thousands of years worth of world history.  They will mostly succeed, but there will be casualties along the way.

But of course, it is based on a true story.

This is an odd duck of a story.

The truth behind the assignment should have been more than enough to make this movie work.

And yet...

As noted by the trailer, much humor is attempted to be infused into the situations.

Some of the jokes work better than others.

Essentially, the team splinters into 1 or 2 man teams in search of clues to the whereabouts of thousands of missing paintinings, sculptures and other works of art.

As the war draws to a close, the team reunites to get to the large cache of art before the Nazis can destroy it all.

For the most part, the team succeeds.

They also recount the more famous finding: the millions of gold bars also hidden in the mines.

Everyone in the cast does a fine job.  Some characters seem less fleshed out than others.  You can probably figure out which characters are more likely to not survive the war than their counterparts.

It was good.

It should have been better.

Final Grade: Going with a B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I wanted to like this one more than I did, and add it to the World War II library of films.  Maybe someday, but no real hurry.

Chicago Is In Good Hands... "Running Scared"

Running Scared (1986)
Rated R for violence and language and nudity

Starring Billy Crystal, Gregory Hines, Joe Pantoliano, Dan Hedaya, Jimmy Smits

Directed by Peter Hyams

The Story:

Detectives Ray (Hines) and Danny (Crystal) are two of Chicago's finest.  However, when the duo are almost killed, their Captan (Hedaya) orders them to take a vacation.  A trip to the Florida Keys convinces them that perhaps it's simply time to retire and open a bar.  As they go to finish up their tour on the force, the two become very conservative in their behavior, and that could prove costly as they attempt to take down local drug kingpin Julio Gonzales (Smits).

Long live the Buddy Cop film!

Although this film takes a different slant on the buddy cop genre.

Instead of the duo being oil and water, Ray and Danny are like an old married couple.

They can complete each other's sentences, know what one another is thinking...

In other words, best friends on and off the force.

Hines and Crystal's chemistry serves the duo well, allowing both to take on the air of serious action stars while maintaining their sense of humor and general likeability.

The supporting cast is great.

Hedaya makes a wonderful beaten down head of detectives an Pantoliano is perfectly cast as two bit villain Snake.

Some great dialogue, pretty fun action sequences, and you'll find this is one of the underrated action comedies of the mid-80s.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I own it, and I love it.

There Are Worse Things Than Being Fired... "Demoted"

Demoted (2011)
Rated R for language and nudity

Starring Michael Vartan, Sean Astin, David Cross

Directed by J.B. Rogers

The Story:

Mike (Astin) and Rodney (Vartan) are the best salesmen in the tire company.  They are excellent at what they do, yet the prank pulling duo are less than cordial to the secretaries and downright brutal to Ken Castro (Cross) their rival in sales.  However when the boss dies and Castro winds up in charge of the company, he demotes the two to secretaries.  As Castro continues to drive the company into the toilet, the guys need to repair some serious bridges if they have any hope of saving their place of employment.

Well, it's no Office Space.

It wants to be at times, but it can't channel that same magic.

Instead, the movie has to be content to be a morality play for Mike and Rodney and show them the sexist ways that they employed against the secretaries and to apologize for it.

Amusingly enough, once they mend those fences, the secretaries find that Mike and Rodney have the best advice for them, because who better to tell them what guys are really feeling, than a pair of dudes?

Naturally, Castro goes off the deep end and is a terrible boss.  Cross plays these types of roles in his sleep, and he doesn't disappoint here.

It's okay, but could have been much better as the movie waffles between satire, slapstick and a message film.

Tighten it up, it could have been much better.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No, you'd be better off checking out Office Space again.

Sounds A Little Fishy To Me..."Salmon Fishing In The Yemen"

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (2011)
Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Amr Wakad, Emily Blunt, Ewan McGregor, Kristin Scott Thomas

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom

The Story:

Sheikh Muhammed (Wakad) wants to bring his peaceful hobby of fishing to the dry arid desert of Yemen.  So working with a fisheries expert (McGregor), they plan to construct a river and fill it with Salmon.  However, the British government winds up only giving them hatchery raised salmon which don't know how to spawn upstream instinctively.  Couple that with some Yemen extremists who aren't thrilled with what the Sheikh is up to, and this dream may derail long before it even has a chance to succeed.

Meh.

Again, another film more appropriately labeled a dramedy, than a comedy.

There's some humor, but it's not "funny'.

I had high hopes for this one, but really, it was average, at best.

The performances were fine, but I was never really grabbed by anything else to make me invest more into the storyline.

Adding the complicated romantic subplot between McGregor and Blunt simply adds to the run time and really adds nothing to the story.

The best part of the film is the ending when we truly discover if the Sheikh's ideas would work or not.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nah, I'm good.  Once was plenty.

How Sweet To Fall In Love Again Every Morning..."50 First Dates"

50 First Dates (2004)
Rated PG-13 for language and situations

Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Sean Astin, Blake Clark

Directed by Peter Segal

The Story:

Henry Roth (Sandler) loves the ladies, but hates the commitment.  So he lives a life in Hawaii of love 'em, and send 'em back to the mainland.  But then he meets Lucy (Barrymore) and the two hit it off.  In fact, Henry thinks he could possibly be in love.  When he meets Lucy again, she blows him off like she doesn't even know him.  That's when we discover that Lucy was in an accident that robs her of any memories since the day of the accident.  How far is Roth willing to go to prove his love to Lucy?

In 1994, Sandler and Barrymore teamed up for the instant classic, The Wedding Singer.  It was a very funny romantic comedy that just sparkled all the way through, thanks to the great chemistry between Sandler and Barrymore.

Ten years later, the duo reunited, and while it didn't achieve the results of their first collaboration, it wasn't too bad.

The jokes are more crude and less sweet this go-round, so that has squashed the replay value in the house.

Which is a real shame, because the love story is one of the sweetest to watch unfold.

While Lucy's family goes through elaborate measures to ensure Lucy adjusts as easily as possible to her memory loss, it's Henry who chooses to stick around and endure the daily heartbreak of losing the love of his life.

In the end, Lucy lets Henry go, because she knows it's unfair to keep him tied down to her and her accident.

But no love story can end that badly, and what follows may actually bring a tear to your eyes.

I know it gets me every time.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own it, but again, it doesn't get nearly the airplay as the first team up.