The "Knight Of Cups" Was A Pretentious Bore

Knight of Cups (2015)

Rated R

Starring Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman, Brian Dennehy, Antonio Banderas, Imogen Poots,

Written and Directed by Terence Malick

The Story:

A writer (Bale) goes on a journey of discovery in Los Angeles through Las Vegas. These are his tales.

The movie opens with narration by Bale as the camera pans around and around to various scenery and other scenes that may or may not have anything to do with what is happening on screen.

I know I normally give movies 20 minutes, but I was ready to bail by the 10th minute, and I think I let if play into the first full chapter break at around the 13 minute mark.

I had no interest in the character, or whatever story was going to take place at this point.

If that means I have no appreciation for art-house films, so be it.

I come to see a movie to be entertained.

I don't mind thinking when I watch a film.

What I don't want to be thinking, is,  "why am I wasting my time watching this?"

There's a difference.

Final Grade: F

It Took Nearly 30 Years For This "Cocoon" To Be Watched Again

Cocoon (1985)

Rated PG-13

Starring Don Ameche, Wilfred Brimley, Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Maureen Stapleton, Brian Dennehy, Steve Guttenberg, Tawhnee Welch

Directed by Ron Howard

The Story:

An alien race (Dennehy, Welch) return to Earth to bring home 20 of their own they had to leave behind centuries earlier.  They charter a boat from a local Florida captain (Guttenberg) and put them in a swimming pool to revive them.  However, a group of local senior citizens (Ameche, Brimley, Cronyn) have been breaking in to use that pool.  When the regenerative powers of the pool have an unexpected fountain of youth quality, the group comes back with the aliens blessing, but things are going to get bad in a hurry.

It's been a long time since I've seen this one.

First things first, it holds up pretty well from start to finish.

The acting is great, and the assembled cast is wonderful.

Ron Howard pulls together a great cast of actors and gave them plum roles in their careers.

Just because they are getting older, that doesn't mean they still can't act, and the cast pulls it off wonderfully.

Don Ameche won a Best Supporting Actor award for his role.  It's a great performance, but after all these years, he really has probably the least screen time of all the actors.

The special effects are a bit on the cheesy side, but there really aren't a whole lot of them.

It was nice to revisit the film, and it was fun to watch again.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's probably been over 20 years since I last saw it.  Still pretty good, but not quite as good as I remembered. 

I'm Putting A Guarantee On This Box! "Tommy Boy"

Tommy Boy (1995)

Rated PG-13

Starring Chris Farley, David Spade, Rob Lowe, Brian Dennehy, Bo Derek, Julie Warner, Dan Aykroyd

Directed by Peter Segal

The Story:

Tommy Callahan (Farley) comes home after graduating to find that his dad (Dennehy) is set to remarry (Derek). However, when tragedy strikes, Tommy has to hit the road with Richard (Spade) in an attempt to save the family business, and a small Ohio town's way of life.

Will he succeed?

Naturally!

I could argue that, pound for pound, this is the funniest Saturday Night Live movie to ever hit the screen.

Not rooted in a pre-existing skit from the show, this simply paired the dynamic rapport between Farley and Spade that carries nearly the entire movie.

The two are hilarious, and this movie is an oft-quoted favorite in our house.

I defy anyone to not sing "fat guy in a little coat" and not cause everyone within earshot to smile and think of this movie.

This is also one of those movies that I still distinctly remember the first time I saw it.  The first gag with little Tommy Callahan running into the house (literally) caused me to burst out into laughter.

The trend continues throughout the movie, and now, going on almost 20 years...

Let that sink in for a minute.

It's still funny.

If you've never seen it, you're in for a treat.

If you haven't visited Tommy in some time, no time like the present.

I guarantee you will laugh.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix and Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I've lost count how many times we've watched this. At least once a  year, maybe more. :)

Corruption In Detroit? Time For An "Assault On Precinct 13"

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
Rated R - Violence & Language

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne

Directed by: Jean-Francois Richet


The Story:

It's New Year's Eve and a Detroit police station is going to close its doors one final time.  Sgt Roenick (Hawke) and a skeleton crew of police are holding down the fort when a prison transport carrying notorious mob boss Marion Bishop (Fishburne) arrives seeking shelter from a snowstorm.  Things go from bad to worse when the station is besieged by vigilantes looking to take out Bishop.  Imagine Roenick's surprise when he learns that those killers outside are actually cops, looking to take out Bishop before he can testify that there are dirty cops in Detroit!

Where's RoboCop when we need him??!!

"At Least They Aren't Remaking This Classic!"

I apologize, I've never seen the original version written & directed by John Carpenter from the 70s, so I am unable to compare and contrast the two films.

How Dare You Not Watch Our Version!

That said, I've watched this film on two different occasions.

I've enjoyed the film both times.

It's tightly scripted, well-acted by an impressive cast that also includes Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo and Maria Bello.

Someday I Will Voice An Animated Sloth And Become More Famous Than All Of You!!

It's a thriller that ratchets up the suspense with each passing moment.  The only hope the precinct has of survival is to arm the prisoners and work together to stay alive.

Of course, cops and robbers don't exactly trust each other, so it's an uneasy alliance at best.

Add to that the layer of intrigue by having the cops as the ones on the outside attempting to kill everyone inside, and you've got a pretty gripping tale.

It's a B movie that doesn't attempt to do anything but entertain the audience and tell a decent story.

On that note, it succeeds brilliantly.


Final Grade:  B

Would I Watch It Again?  Yes, it's entertaining and clips by at a decent pace.

Would I Purchase It?  I've had it on my wish list for almost a decade now.  Perhaps someday I will pull the trigger?