Not An April Fool's Day Prank... "Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse"

This review is dedicated to all the Dads (and Moms) who have little girls who like Barbie.
 
Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse (2012)

The Story:

Barbie lives in her Malibu dream house with her sisters Skipper, Stacie and Chelsea.  They are joined by some of Barbie's closest friends, and of course, Ken.  Filmed as a sort of reality doll show, the hijinks are often and the commentary is hilarious.

A show I never should have seen.

A show I shouldn't even know exists.

A show I definitely shouldn't be reviewing.

And yet, here I am.

:)

Sometimes when a kid watches the same show over and over and over and over and over and over an over and over and over and over...
Or at least it feels that way....

You want them to try something new.

So a flip or two through Netflix, and this show pops up as available for streaming.

There are 4 episodes, each filled with several 4-5 minute episodes for about a 20 minute run-time.

What could possibly go wrong?

Amazingly, nothing.
Or everything.

The show is FUNNY!!

Hysterically so, and one that I catch myself stopping to listen to if it's on as I'm passing through the house and the kids are watching it.

Whether it's Ken and his crazy inventions or the vain twins Raquelle and Ryan (he's absolutely hysterical), there's always something brewing in Barbie's life worth laughing over.

Genius work when they re-introduced Midge to Barbie's life. She arrives, black and white ala Pleasantville, and she is stuck in the past with her slang and actions until she receives a makeover.


Again, this rating has nothing to do with the "holiday" of April Fool's Day.

This show is flat-out fun.

Some of the episodes are available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Sadly, I'm waiting for more episodes to be uploaded!

:)

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't know that I'd rush out to buy it, but I'm enjoying watching them.

Farewell To March... "Shall We Dance?"

Shall We Dance (2004)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci

Directed by Peter Chelsom

The Story:

John Clark (Gere) is a lawyer who has found that something is missing in his life.  He loves his wife (Sarandon) and family, but he's not quite happy.  On the ride home one night, he sees Paulina (Lopez) at a dance studio and impulsively rushes over to take dance lessons.  He winds up with a different teacher (Anita Gillette) but still, something about dance seems to make John...happy.  So he continues to practice, but keeps his new secret from his wife which sets off a chain of misunderstanding that threatens his homelife.

Not a bad flick at all.

It's a tough sell though...is it a romantic comedy? A Dramedy?

It's charming and humourous throughout.

It straddles a fine line because John isn't happy in life, but he's not cheating on his wife, though it's possible that was his intention when he first got off the train.

Instead, he finds that dance is that passion he never knew he was missing.

Add in the always sensational performance from Stanley Tucci as a co-worker who also secretly enjoys to dance, and you've got a pretty enjoyable flick .

Final Grade: B/B- range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would have no problem letting this play again...not sure I would need to buy it though.

Greed Is Good. "The Wolf Of Wall Street" Is Not

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
Rated R for Excessive language, nudity and drug use

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio

Directed by Martin Scorsese

The Story:

Jordan Belfort (DiCaprio) is a stock broker.  This film chronicles his rise to riches, and his fall due to corruption.

Color me not-interested.

The movie opens with excess after excess flying off the screen.

Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, DiCaprio does nothing to make me want to endure 3 hours of watching this sleazy con-artist go from rags to riches, to richer still.

This is not to say that this movie isn't probably good or entertaining.  Scorsese and DiCaprio seem to have developed some magical chemistry together.

But when I'm five minutes into a film, and the main character is snorting cocaine off a the butt of a hooker...

Yeah, I'm in for a long 3 hours, or I can cut my losses and realize that this brand of entertainment is just not for me.


So off it went, and I don't feel like I really missed anything.

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Of all the things I think I could accomplish in my  life in a 3 hour span... attempting to watch this movie again...ever...does not make the list.

The Sound Nobody Made Rushing To The Theater For This One..."Zoom"

Zoom (2006)
Rated PG

Starring Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Chevy Chase, Kate Mara, Spencer Breslin, Ryan Newman, Michael Cassidy, Rip Torn

Directed by Peter Hewitt

The Story:

Jack (Allen) used to be a superhero, Captain Zoom, years ago.  However he gave up the gig when his team was destroyed fighting a super-villain, who just happened to be Jack's brother.  Years later, his brother is coming back from the dead, and the government wants to create a new team of heroes, so they round up some kids (Mara, Breslin, Newman and Cassidy) and under the watchful eyes of Dr. Grant (Chase) and Holloway (Cox), they will  become the planet's best hope for survival.  The project leader (Torn) wants to bring Zoom back into the fold to help train the kids.  Will they be ready to save the day?

Ah, the simpler times.

Super hero movies before the arrival of Iron Man.

:)

This, coupled with Sky High, made for a cute, family friendly superhero escape in the wake of The Incredibles.

Overall, the movie is still cute and fun nearly a decade later.

The acting is good, the storyline is okay.

I think the movie tried too hard to squeeze in gags for the sake of having a comedy moment.

Yes, I'm thinking of the sequence of Chase in the test chamber specifically.

The best gags in the movie happened organically, instead of forced.

A nice time capsule of life before the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do already own it, but it doesn't see much viewing time, as this is the first time in 8 years. :)

"When Calls The Heart" Is One Unwieldly Movie Title For A Friday Review

When Calls the Heart (2013)

Hallmark Channel Movie

Starring: Maggie Grace, Stephen Amell, Daniel Sharman, Poppy Drayton

Directed by Michael Landon Jr.

The Story:

It's turn of the century Canada, and Elizabeth (Drayton) is going to accept a position as a teacher, much like her Aunt (Grace) did years earlier.  When she discovers her aunt's journal, she learns of a potential love (Amell) and it sets off questions in her head and heart of whether or not she is ready to leave her family behind and head out into the wild.

Based on author Janette Oke's bestseller, Landon brings his father's touch to the small screen for a Hallmark Channel movie of the week.

Except, unlike his father's Little House on the Prairie series, this tale is only half interesting.

Or more precise, there is apparently so little story to each, the need to mash the Aunt's journal with Elizabeth's own are the driving ingredients to this story.

The acting is fine, and the period piece looks great.

It's just, there isn't a whole lot to the story.

Most unsatisfying, the movie simply ends.

After 90 minutes of partial investment of these characters, you have an idea of how the movie should end, but it doesn't.

It just stops.

: /

Ah well...

With a little further digging, it appears that this was to set up a tv series.

Fair enough.  Sneaky...

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not when I have the whole Little House on the Prairie series already available at a moment's notice.

All The Praise For This Show Is... "Justified"

Justified (2010)

TV-MA for language

Starring Timothy Olyphant, Walter Goggins, Nick Searcy, Joelle Carter, Jacob Pitts, Erica Tazel

The Story:

US Marshal Raylan Givens (Olyphant) is reassigned from Miami to his home state of Kentucky following a shooting where he warned a man that he had 24 hours to leave town or else.  Well, he didn't leave, then pulled a gun on the Marshal.  The shooting was...

Justified.

But back home, Givens is immediately immersed in issues by the Crowder clan, led by old friend Boyd (Goggins) and it appears that Givens is going to have to keep his gun handy if he wants to survive his trip home.

Ah, a series I always wanted to watch but never did.

Saw that it was streaming on Amazon Prime, so I gave it a whirl.

The pilot episode was pretty good, so I kept going.

Through the course of the next dozen episodes, new developments happened to progress the story forward, but always adding new layers to what had happened before.

By the conclusion of the season, a lot of characters are no longer standing in Kentucky, and I'm looking forward to see what happens next.

Always been a fan of Olyphant, and am enjoying his take as a no-nonsense lawman.  An Goggins is an excellent foil as the man that Raylan wonders just how much he can trust before it blows up in his face.

Great stuff!

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Doubtful that I need to buy it, and watching it once should be good.  Good show though!

Someone End The Pain... "A Single Shot"

A Single Shot (2013)

Rated R for violence and language

Starring Sam Rockwell, William H. Macy, Jason Isaacs

Directed by David M. Rosenthal

The Story:

John (Rockwell) is out hunting for an elusive deer, takes a shot and a girl lies dead.  He drags the body to hide it, and runs across some cash from backwoods criminals (Isaacs).  Naturally, John takes the money, and so begins a game of high stakes tension building as the bad guys come to get their money back.

A single shot... if I drank, I would have used several of those to try and get through this movie.

Slow.
Quiet.
Rambling.

None of those words are meant in a good way.

I love Rockwell.
I love Macy.
I love Isaacs.

I put the movie on fast forward eventually to see if I would ever get anything out of it... but no.

A dreadful waste of talent.  The sound on the movie was so low, half of the conversations are muted or unintelligible.

Plus, the movie stretches out to nearly 2 hours... 

of boredom!

Save yourself.


Final Grade: D-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Only as a cure for insomnia.

Mikey Is Now 25. Feel Old Yet? "Look Who's Talking"

Look Who's Talking (1989)
Rated PG-13 for language

Starring  John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, George Segal, Olympia Dukakis and Bruce Willis

Directed and Written by Amy Heckerling

The Story:

Mollie (Alley) is an accountant whose biggest client (Segal) is having an affair with her.  And then along comes unplanned baby, Mikey (Willis).  When Mollie goes into labor, she takes a cab driven by James (Travolta) to the hospital.  You can guess how this romantic comedy unfolds at this point, no?

Another Heckerling masterpiece.

Funny dialogue, great characters and wonderful music that helps tell the story is one of Heckerlings many attributes.

This film gets overlooked between Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Clueless, but deserves to be mentioned with those cinema gems as well.

While everyone claims that Travolta enjoyed a career comeback in 1994 with Pulp Fiction, this was only 5 years earlier, so it's not like he had completely dropped off the map.  Alley was enjoying her tenure on Cheers and Bruce Willis was finishing up his Moonlighting stint and about to be Mr. Movie Star.

Lightning in a bottle that wasn't quite as successful with the subsequent sequels, but is still charmingly fun(ny) 25 years later.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Yes to both, I'd forgotten how much fun this movie really was.

You Say You Want An "Evolution" ?

Evolution (2001)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring David Duchovney, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott

Directed by Ivan Reitman

The Story:

When a meteorite crashes in Arizona, two local Community College teachers (Duchovney, Jones) team up with a local wannabe volunteer firefighter (Scott) to fight off an alien race that is quickly evolving and could potentially destroy all life on this planet.

Trying to boil the plot synopsis of this film  down to its basic premise doesn't even begin to do it justice.

What could have easily been a dark or scary sci-fi thriller turns into a fun sci-fi romp instead under the guidance of Ivan Reitman.  It may not be Ghostbusters...

But it's pretty good.

And for my kids, this was their "Ghostbusters" film.

In fact, it's flat out funny and this one has been a staple in our house since it was released in 2001.

It's been watched so much, the original disc has not survived the first decade of its lifespan and has subsequently been replaced.

It was a nice change of pace for Duchovney who got to spread his wings a bit out from under the X-Files and show that he's got a sense of humor.  While he gets some zingers in, he gets a lot of mileage out of being the straight man.

His comic foils?

Orlando Jones and Seann William Scott.

Scott plays pretty much the same Stifler character that he does in every film, but much less crude in this film.  His standout moment?  

Serenading a monster in the mall.

My favorite though would be Orlando Jones who is hilarious throughout the movie, but that's no surprise.

The scene where he faces emergency surgery is STILL hilarious every time we watch the movie, and you just can't help but laugh.

That's always the sign of a good comedy, great writing and acting when a scene that you've seen countless times still puts the same smile or laugh on your face no matter how many times you've seen it.

Finally, in many movies, a song is used so perfectly that whenever I hear it on the radio, my first thought always turns back to the movie that used it best.

This movie lays claim to best performance of "Play That Funky Music".

:)

The movie itself, well it gets played at least once a year.

Usually more.

Lots more.

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Own it. Love it. Watch it quite a bit. :)

Who Is Conning Who? "American Hustle"

American Hustle (2013)

Rated R for language

Starring Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner

Directed by David O. Russell

The Story:

Irving (Bale) is a con-man. His lover, Sydney (Adams) are getting rich scamming people.  Then along comes FBI Agent DiMaso (Cooper) who enlists the two to help him take down crooked politicians like Mayor Polito (Renner).  Get ready for the mother of all con artist/flim flam movies... based on a real story!

If you can stay awake long enough to get through it.

It went on 1.5 x within 5 minutes... trying to see if it was interesting at all.

I couldn't find any interest.

I think I let it run for the first 45 minutes before I realized that I honestly didn't care one bit about who was doing what to whom, or why.

Not good for a movie like this.

An incredible waste of talent.

Some of the reviews I see say that it really picks up in the 2nd half.

While I suppose that's better than being let down, if you never feel any connection to the characters, it seems to me, you're fighting a losing battle.

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Maybe I'll try and catch the ending someday on cable. But I'm sure I'll find a million other things to watch or do instead.

Make 'Em Laugh... "The Improv: 50 Years Behind The Brick Wall"

The Improv: 50 Years Behind The Brick Wall (2013)

Rated TV MA for language

Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, Ray Romano, The Wayans Brothers, Jimmy Fallon

The Story:

A history of the Improv created by Budd Friedman.  Originally conceived to showcase Broadway Singers with a comic or two...
Well, 50 years later, there's no Broadway singers to be found, and for stand-up comedians, this is the place to get seen and noticed before hopefully making their way to the Tonight Show.

Many of stand-ups finest reminisce about their time trying to get on stage and the glory that came from making the cut.

It's not an easy job, and one that requires a lot of time and effort to become successful.

Just to be clear, aside from archive footage, and comedians generally being amusing by trade, this is not a bunch of stand-up comedians "through the years". 

These are the big names who started their road to fame and fortune trying hard to just make the cut of getting up on stage and trying to entertain.

Overall, this is a pretty good documentary.

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor- A fun watch, but no real need to own it.

It's About Finding Love... "About Time"

About Time (2013)

Rated R for language

Starring Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams, Bill Nighy

Directed and written by Richard Curtis

The Story:

Tim (Gleeson) learns from his dad (Nighy) that the men in their family have the ability to travel back in time.  Tim attempts to do just that, and finds that yes indeed, his dad was right.  So Tim is out to find true love, when he meets Mary (McAdams).  It will take some doing to get that meeting just right because like any time travel story, if you tinker just a little bit, you face repercussions.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this film.

Curtis has given us Notting Hill and Love Actually among others.

So yes, a good romantic comedy was probably coming.

And it is.

But so much more.

As the film unfolds, subtly, it becomes about a love between a father and son.

When Tim learns of the limitations of what time travel can do, it sets up an emotional finale that will put the proverbial lump in your throat.

McAdams and Nighy do their usual perfect roles, but I was impressed with Gleeson.  This is the first starring role from him that I am familiar with.  He comes across as very charming and fun.

He's the new Hugh Grant.

Yes, that's a great compliment.

I also thought to myself as I watched it, that while I don't watch the show, this guy seems like he would make a great Doctor Who someday.

We'll see.

My only real complaint with this film was the rating.  I think the overall audience and reach of this film could have been greater with a PG-13 rating and dial the language back a notch.

Just my take.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would be willing to watch it again.

Happy Thorsday..."Thor: The Dark World"

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Rated PG-13 for language, violence, and pure awesomeness!

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins

Directed by Alan Taylor

The Story:

Since the events of Thor and The Avengers, Thor (Hemsworth) has been busy bringing peace to the Nine Worlds.  Meanwhile on Earth, Jane Foster (Portman) has discovered a wormhole to dimensions where she is infected by an ancient, powerful, evil force called the Aether.  It brings back the ancient race of Dark Elves who are bent on using this power to destroy all worlds...forever.  Time for Thor to save the day, his lady love, and all of reality in the process.

However, he's going to need a little help from his brother Loki (Hiddleston) first...

This was my favorite movie of 2013, and now it is available for purchase.

Has my opinion changed since seeing it on the glorious big screen last fall?

Nope.

This was my favorite film of last year, and it has held up as a great comic book movie... a great science fiction movie...

A great movie.

 

Period.

If I was asked to pick a movie to show non fans of either genre why Marvel Comics movies are so popular and entertaining...

I might very well skip the Iron Man, Cap and even Avengers franchise and simply hand them a copy of this film.

It picks up on events that have happened, but if you didn't see them, you'll be brought up to speed within the film.

The storyline is epic...yet also grounded and personal at the same time.

It's good vs evil.

Boy meets girl.

And it's marvelously well written, well acted, and Alan Taylor picked up the reigns from Kenneth Branaugh, and didn't miss a beat, and I say, improved on everything that was great about the first Thor film.

Hemsworth continues to shine as Thor, but the revelation of course has been the ascension of Hiddleston as a bonafide movie star.  His charisma and charm have made the role of Loki possibly the most popular character of any Marvel movie, including Downey Jr.

The supporting characters were given more screen time this go around and continue to develop into a stellar supporting cast.

The ending definitely lends itself to at least one more film.

Sign me up!

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Yes to both.  Woot!!

An Idea Most Fowl... "Free Birds"

Free Birds (2013)
Rated PG

Starring Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson, Amy Poehler, George Takei

Directed by Jimmy Hayward

The Story:

Reggie (Wilson) is a turkey who cannot make his flock understand the truth about their fate.  Enter Jake (Harrelson), a turkey on a mission:
To go back to the first Thanksgiving and get turkeys off the menu.  Using an experimental time machine named S.T.E.V.E. (Takei), the birds take flight and wind up in Plymouth.  With the help of the local population, these two birds must outwit the pilgrims who want them dead...and cooked to a delicious ending!  Who will succeed?

To my knowledge, this is the first full-fledged animation venture from Reel FX Creative Studios.

And for the most part, they do a decent job with what they produced.

The animation looks lush and vibrant and the voice acting is decent.

Basically, it's an okay story that will entertain the kids for 90 minutes and won't sap all of the willpower of the adults who are watching.

The problem with that, we've grown accustomed to Pixar and the other animation studios really stepping up their game in recent years to deliver masterpiece after masterpiece.

When we receive something lesser...

Somehow we feel cheated.

So I'm looking forward to their next film, I just hope they work a little harder on the script.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sorry, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving will remain the only film in rotation so far...

Alright Alright Alright..."Dallas Buyers Club"

Dallas Buyers Club (2013)
Rated R for language, nudity, drug use


Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto,

Directed by Jean-Marc Vallee   

The Story:

Ron Woodroof (McConaughey) is a bull rider who enjoys all the vices in life.  When he winds up in the hospital and diagnosed as HIV positive, he knows that's not true because he's not gay.  With less than 30 days to live, Woodroof tries every means necessary to get the medication he needs to survive.  By whatever means necessary, including illegal shipments from Mexico.  It is there that he brings back medication for others like him to keep them alive since they cannot get them at home.

Great story, with another tour de force by McConaughey and a completely unrecognizable Leto.

I will simply go on record and say that the FDA has caused more harm than good in the fight against this, and any other disease.

Woodroof did an admirable thing, and his life story was one worth the translation to the silver screen.

He kept himself, and dozens of others alive for an extra seven years.

I'm also very glad that the Academy finally noticed that McConaughey can act.

You can dismiss his earlier work as fluff, but I've always found him to be entertaining and fun to watch.

That's what I pay to see when I watch a movie: I want to be entertained.

He's always done that.

This is his icing on the cake, but also one of the hardest movies to endure, just because of the weight of the subject matter.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Worth a viewing once for the acting of McConaughey and Leto.  After that, I'm good.

Mondays Are Always Scary... "Nightmare Factory"

Nightmare Factory (2011)

N/R - Documentary... language and special effects gore

Directed by Donna Davies

The Story:

Greg Nicotero. Howard Berger. Robert Kurtzman.  The braintrust that created KNB EFX, one of the leading Hollywood Special Effects studios.

This is their story, as well as a look behind the curtain at special effects in general.

Those zombies from the Walking Dead?

Yep.

In fact, you name it, and these guys probably did it, or had a hand in it, or helped someone once upon a time who now does special effects out there.

It's a nice balancing act in the documentary about the wizards that want to give  you the best possible effect, and directors who sometimes just want the shot so they can move on.

As a bonus, check out the short film, The United Monster Talent Agency, that Greg Nicotero directed that imagined "what if the Universal Monsters were real, and were hired out as actual talent for these movies?"


United Monster Talent Agency

Pretty clever.

And a wonderful nod to the classic monsters of old!

Available to stream instantly on Netflix or Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sadly, low in my household.  Perhaps if I ever get some fright fans on my team?

Holiday Weekend Movie Review..."All Is Bright"

All Is Bright (2013)

Rated R for language

Starring Paul Giamatti, Paul Rudd

Directed by Phil Morrison

The Story:

Dennis (Giamatti) is finally out on parole.  He's heading home for Christmas, and discovers that his wife has told their daughter that he died of cancer.  She's ready to move on with Rene (Rudd).  Rene and Dennis plan to head into New York and sell Christmas trees to make some money, and Dennis hopes to buy a piano for his daughter for Christmas.

This is not a comedy.
It was billed as a comedy, but it is not.

It is a drama.

It's not a very good drama, either.

Actually, it's just not that great of a movie.

Very slow.

No, slower than that.

I think I made it 15 or 20 minutes before I hit 1.5x speed on the PS3.

It didn't help.

I wound up watching it at 10x.... sure there's not any volume, but at this point, I really didn't care.

If you're interested, he ends up stealing a piano for his daughter for Christmas.

A total waste of the talents of the Two Pauls.

Bah, humbug.

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: None whatsoever.

Holiday Weekend Film Review... "The Best Man Holiday"

The Best Man Holiday (2013)
Rated R for language

Starring Monica Calhoun, Morris Chestnut, Taye Diggs, Regina Hall, Terrence Howard, Nia Long

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee

The Story:

13 years have passed since The Best Man, and this movie picks up by bringing all of the gang back together for a holiday get together.  New secrets will be revealed and will time finally heal the old wounds in time for these friends to put their relationships back on track before tragedy strikes the group?

As the movie began, they used bits from the original film to remind us who the characters are, and what happened when last we saw them.

I'm now not sure if I ever got around to seeing that film.

However, they do a really good job of playing catch-up, so I don't really feel like I missed anything from that film.

It's both unheard of, and impressive that Lee was able to reassemble the cast for another go-round after a decade and some change has passed between films.

That's a testament both to him as a filmmaker and the cast for wanting to come back to these characters.

Be advised, for all the fun that the trailer promised, there is some heartbreak coming your way in the third act.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was good for this one.

Truth In Advertising... "Machete Kills"

Machete Kills (2013)
Rated R for violence, language, nudity, violence

Starring Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara,  Jessica Alba, Carlos Estevez, Lady Gaga

Directed by Robert Rodriguez

The Story:
Machete (Trejo) and his partner Sartana (Alba) attempt to stop an arms sale, but in the process, Sartana is killed.  The President (Estevez) saves Machete and sends him after a bad man (Gibson) with designs on world domination.  Along the way, various assassins will attempt to stop Machete.

They will fail.

The sequel nobody demanded.


From a movie that never should have existed.

The sequel to a movie that was a throwaway fake trailer in another movie!

So continues the saga of Machete, the awesome fake trailer from Planet Terror that was so great, it actually became a pretty decent movie.

That is the magic of Trejo!  The man makes low budget films tolerable, and decent projects better than they should be.  Unconventional Hollywood star...check!

Robert Rodriguez is at it again with a crazy script and action pieces that inspire comparisons to Looney Tunes as much as big budget action films.

I have much love and respect for Rodriguez since Desperado.  I watched the movie with his commentary and learned how he treats his mini budget films like big action spectacles.  The enthusiasm and love he puts into the films is always evident.

That includes the killer all-star ensemble cast of Rodriguez favorites and other big names popping in for extended cameos, as most actors don't last long in a Machete movie.

:)

Keep your tongue firmly in cheek, and buckle up for about 90 minutes of pure adrenaline.

If you liked the first one, you'll enjoy the sequel.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I own the first, but have not revisited it in sometime.  We'll see what happens with the 2nd installment.

What A "Rush" !!

Rush (2013)
Rated R for language, nudity

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Daniel Bruhl

Directed by Ron Howard

The Story:

The intertwining story of two drivers destined and determined to be Formula 1 drivers. The first, James Hunt (Hemsworth), lady killer and all around cocky Brit.  His rival, Austrian Niki Lauda (Bruhl), who is icy and meticulous.  Their rivalry culminates in 1976 as the two battle for the championship.

Based on a true story.

I opted for a later poster to represent this film.  The original, a close-up of Hemsworth indicated that the movie was centered on his character, James Hunt.  And really, the movie is based on his life... and yet...

It is the fascinating counterpoint of Lauda who brings balance and interest to this film.  It is easy to see why Hunt was going to be successful, he was boastful and a braggart who backed up his bravado on and off the track.

But the sheer determination of Lauda to succeed when he was an uncharismatic robot that nobody liked, even his own teammates, is the crucial piece of dramatic device that is needed to make this movie, and their rivalry, work.

When an accident nearly claims one of these two during their run for the championship, it is the sheer anger of watching their rival go for the championship that drives him to get better, get out of bed, and against all odds, get back onto that track!  Insane and unheard of, but it happened.

The racing scenes are spectacular, but nothing you don't expect when you're watching any Howard film.  He always gives it 100%.  Another feather in the directing career of Ron Howard who simply makes entertaining movies.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again, but no need to own it.

Every Movie Idea Begins With "Good Intentions"

Good Intentions (2010)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring: Elaine Hendrix, Luke Perry, Jon Gries, LeAnn Rimes, Gary Grubbs

Directed by Jim Issa

The Story:

Etta (Hendrix) loves her husband (Perry) dearly.  She's just tired of him blowing all of their money on get-rich quick schemes.  So she takes matters into her own hands and puts on a ski mask and robs him.  She takes the money to the local antique shop and buys some pieces from the dealer (Grubbs) hoping to make an investment for their children's futures.  However, when the plan begins to  unravel, can she save her marriage, and herself from going to jail?

Contrary to movie poster prominence, LeAnn Rimes is not the star of the film.

No, that would be Hendrix, and she does a fine job as the matriarch of the family who tries anything she can to do what is best for her family.

Yes, including armed robbery.

However, she's really harming nobody with her attempts, but when she finally goes over the line, there's no turning back.

Of course, once she's committed armed robbery, everything else she needs to do to survive will come fairly easily.

It's a cute enough little film that is fine for the whole family to sit back and enjoy.

Nothing ground-breaking, but it's got the heart in the right place.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again, but would have no reason to own it.

"Reel Injun" A Look Under the War Paint of the American Movie Indians

Reel Injun (2009)
Documentary Not Rated

Starring: Adam Beach, Clint Eastwood

Directed by Neil Diamond.  No, the other one.

The Story:

This documentary attempts to peel back the layers and expose how the depiction of the Native American on the big screen has shaped the world's perception on the American Indian.

Whether it is the idea that an Indian is an Indian, so in the movies, regardless of tribe, they all wear the same clothing.

They all hunt the same. Live the same. Look the same.

Are the same.

Even though tribes that dressed that way lived hundreds or thousands of miles from where they are being depicted onscreen.

Pretty informative and a nice take on trying to undo a century of cinematic falsehoods...

Even one that Native Americans themselves had a hard time trying to overcome.

Good for History buffs.

Hollywood buffs.

Fans of good documentaries.

Available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably only needed to be viewed once.

Relive The Heist Heard Round The World..."Empire State"

Empire State (2013)
Rated R for language and violence

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Michael Angarano, Dwayne Johnson

The Story:

Chris (Hemsworth) starts working as a security guard for the Empire State armored car company.  Shortly after starting, he is involved in a robbery attempt.  At that point, he mentions to his friend Eddie (Angarano) that the security is pretty lax and the millions they store in the vault would be easy pickings.  Well, Eddie talks... wheels get set in motion, and suddenly the company is robbed.  Detective Ransone (Johnson) begins investigating and all signs point to the robbery being an inside job.

Did I mention that this was a real story?

The actual Chris involved wrote the script and produced the film.

Guess where he got the money?

:)

You'll find out at the end that some of the money that went missing was never recovered. 

Things that make you go...hmm...


Overall, not a bad film, though Hemsworth could use a shot of charisma.  He's definitely not his brother, but come on, between this and Paranoia, I'm finding it hard to take him seriously as the star of a film.


Don't let the cover fool you, Emma Roberts is nothing more than a glorified cameo.

Even The Rock...sorry, Dwayne Johnson, only is in the film for less than half the runtime.  His parts are well used to bridge the movie together.

But this is all Hemsworth, all the time.

As Heist Films go, it's okay.  Considering they got away with it, to some extent, way to go guys.


Now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.


Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not a purchase, but I could watch it again if it was on and I couldn't find the remote. ;)

Living In The Wild Wild West Weekend..."Dead in Tombstone"

Dead in Tombstone (2013)
Rated R for language, violence and nudity

Starring Danny Trejo, Mickey Rourke, Anthony Michael Hall

Directed by Roel Reine

The Story:

A gang rolls into a Colorado mining town to take all of the gold that is being held during a land dispute about who owns the mine.  However, the gang, under the insistence of Red (Hall) turn on their leader, Guerrero (Trejo) and gun him down.  Finding himself in Hell, Guerrero bargains with the Devil (Rourke): to deliver the 6 souls that sent him there, in exchange for his own.  The devil agrees, and Guerrero has 24 hours to bring his killers to justice.  Things are about to get ugly!

Well, that was unexpectedly fun!

Easily, the best western I've seen this year so far.

Remove the supernatural element, and you've got the makings and attitude of a good solid "B Movie Western". 

The sets, the costumes, the actors, all do a great job to convey an idyllic mining town that falls prey to the gang of thieves when they roll into town.


Played straight, this would have been a fine Western on its own.

When you factor the added twist with the Devil, that simply solidifies the storyline and provides the deus ex machina to get Guerrero into and out of trouble with no problems.


Danny Trejo does a great job of pretty much playing himself, but that's what you hire him for.  You want the baddest man on the planet, look no further.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would have no problem owning or watching this one in the future.

Living In The Wild Wild West Weekend..."Sweetwater"

Sweetwater (2013)

Rated R for violence, language and nudity

Starring January Jones, Jason Isaacs, Ed Harris

Directed by Logan Miller

The Story:

Sarah (Jones) is a former prostitute who has given up that life for married life on a farm in New Mexico.  However her neighbor, the Prophet Josiah (Isaacs) is a little off his rocker, and when he kills Sarah's husband, she plots to exact vengeance.  Complicating matters, there's a new sheriff (Harris) in town, and it's unclear how his investigation will help or hinder Sarah's plan.

Interesting.

It's nice to see a western on the screen again.

Isaacs plays a bad guy, like nobody's business.  I hadn't seen him in anything in a long time, and I forgot how great of an actor  he is.  Apparently he's been hanging out making Harry Potter movies, so no wonder I haven't seen him.

:)

But yes, he is equally mesmerizing and evil at the same time throughout the movie.

Ed Harris on the other hand...

Well, he does a great job playing an Old West lawman.  And then the script has the sheriff do odd things... like dance around in the desert...  Kind of odd behavior.

Otherwise, no real complaints about anything.

Wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. ;)

And apparently, as of this week, it's now streaming on Netflix for your viewing pleasure.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Had the rating been lower, replayability might be higher.

And The Oscar For Most Overrated Film of 2013 Goes To... "Lee Daniels' The Butler"

Lee Daniels' The Butler

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey,

Directed by Lee Daniels

The Story:

Cecil Gaines (Whitaker) begins work in the White House as a butler in 1957 for Eisenhower (Robin Williams).  This movie checks in on Cecil with the passing of each Presidential era and the parallels with the Civil Rights movement and his oldest son who is fully embroiled in it.

Wow...

This is one of those really hyped movies that as I'm watching it, and especially when it's over, I think to myself...

"really" ?

It was okay, at best.

The makeup is phenomenal as the actors often disappear into their roles.

Whether it's aging Oprah and Whitaker or making the actors that play the presidents try and look the part, they did a really great job.

As for the rest of the film...

Meh.

Civil Rights 101 for Dummies would be a more appropriate, and possibly less clumsy title for the film.

When all is said and done, this movie makes The Help look even better.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No thanks to either option. 

How Far Would You Go? "Prisoners"

Prisoners (2013)
Rated R for language and violence

Starring Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Terrence Howard, Maria Bello, Viola Davis, Paul Dano

Directed by Denis Villeneuve

The Story:

On Thanksgiving, the Dover (Jackman and Bello) and Birch (Howard and Davis) families get together to celebrate.  As the day wears on, the little girls ask to go back over to the Dover household to get something.  The parents agree, and the girls leave.  Later, the parents ask the oldest son where the girls are, and he hasn't seen them.  Apparently he did not walk the girls back home like the parents assumed.  They frantically look around the neighborhood and contact the police about an RV that was seen in the neighborhood with some creepy guy (Dano) hanging out inside of it.  Detective Loki (Gyllenhaal) takes the lead on the case, but when the girls are not immediately found, Dover decides to take matters into his own hands.

How far would you go to...what would you do... to find and protect your little ones?

This is a very dark film that ratchets up the tension with each passing moment.

The movie runs almost 2 1/2 hours, but amazingly doesn't really ever drag and feel like it.

Everyone does a fantastic job in their roles.

Jackman's descent into madness as he tries to keep his sanity and trying to not cross any lines permanently is the driving force of the film.

Gyllenhaal grows nicely into his role as a detective who knows the dad is onto something, as well as up to something but remains half a step behind.

The ending of the film...

I think it varies between everyone who has watched the movie.

I'll leave it for you to decide.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Too dark and too intense to make for an enjoyable rewatching experience.

Putting the "Special" Into The Olympics... "The Ringer"

The Ringer (2005)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Johnny Knoxville, Katherine Heigl, Brian  Cox

Directed by Barry Blaustein

The Story:

Steve (Knoxville) can't catch a break.  He gets promoted, and his first act is to fire Stavi (Luis Avalos) a kind janitor.  Steve can't do it, so he hires Stavi to be his gardener at a higher wage than he was making.  But when a lawn mower accidentally lops off Stavi's fingers, Steve is in a jam: how to raise $28,000 before the end of the month?  He contacts his uncle (Cox) to repay a loan, and he concocts a plan to throw the Special Olympics by having Steve pretend to be disabled and win the  event, beating  Jimmy (Leonard Flowers) a 5 time gold medalist.  Ah, but they aren't called Olympians for nothing...

Possibly one of the most politically incorrect films to find funny, but this movie is flat out hilarious.

While not directed by them, Peter and Bobby Farrelly were the producers, and much like many of their movies, what seems like it should be improper to laugh at, it's funny, and there is a heart to the film that you're not expecting.

Sure, there's even a romantic subplot between Steve, now known as Jeffy and Lynn (Heigl).  However, while an important part of the overall plot, it is not a shoehorned in love affair as many movies try and squeeze a romance in, just to do it.  This one is natural, and slow to build.

But it's the bonding and friendship that forms between Jeffy and the other athletes where the movie really shines.  Utilizing actors with disabilities in several key roles, the movie is believable and sincere and comes with the blessing of The Special Olympics.

This is a movie that aims to poke holes in the idea that people that are "special" are just that, special.  Because there is nothing inherently different at all.

A special shout-out to Brian Cox, who is uproariously hilarious as the man with no filter from his brain to his mouth and gleefully plays the uncle for all he's worth.  His lines are cringe-worthy yet side-splitting, both at the same time.  The man needs to do more comedies, he's a natural.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Already own it, and we watch it at least once a year.

Third Time's The Charm... "Riddick"

Riddick (2013)
Rated R for language, violence and nudity

Starring: Vin Diesel, Jordi Molla, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Dave Bautista

Directed by David Twohy

The Story:

Riddick (Diesel) is left for dead on an unknown planet.  Far from dead, he heals and finds a remote outpost and sends a signal that is picked up by bounty hunters looking to collect on the reward for bringing in Riddick dead or alive.  Santana (Molla) and his crew arrive first, followed by another group led by Boss Johns (Nable) who is the father of the pilot on a previous ship that Riddick was on.  He wants answers first, then revenge.  Riddick wants off the planet and gives them a choice: give him a ship or die.

You can probably tell which option they chose.

Put me in the category of "meh" for Pitch Black and the Chronicles of Riddick.  They were okay, but nothing that I absolutely loved.

Vin Diesel, however, vehemently disagrees with that assessment.

So much so, that one of the conditions on getting him back into the Fast and Furious franchise was that he wanted to get the rights to Riddick.

Universal relented, and has more than made up for it with the last 3 installments of The Fast and Furious each being more successful than the previous.

Meanwhile, Diesel and Twohy decided to make a rated R movie on a much, much smaller budget.  That way even a moderate success at the box office would pay big dividends as opposed to the Chronicles of Riddick movie that had over a $100 million dollar budget and didn't fare so hot.

Smart move.

Aside from a bit of a slow build, this was probably my favorite of the 3 movies.  Once the action gets started, it doesn't really let up, and Riddick almost takes on a horror film as he makes his way through the crews of both ships.

I almost wonder if I should revisit the  first 2 installments again and see how the whole saga plays out.

Maybe someday...

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: If you've enjoyed the franchise before, you should really like this third installment.

Today's Movie Lives Up To Its Name... "Big Ass Spider!"

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

Rated PG-13 For Language, Violence, Gore-ish...

Starring Greg Grunberg, Clare Kramer, Ray Wise, Lombardo Boyar

Directed by Mike Mendez

The Story:

Alex (Grunberg) is an exterminator who gets bit by a brown recluse spider.  He goes to the hospital for his shot, and learns that there is something very sinister roaming the hospital grounds.  He teams with Jose (Boyar) the head of security and the two begin looking for something that is on the loose. Meanwhile, the Army shows up to wrangle an experiment gone wrong.  To stop this spider, the Major (Wise) and Lieutenant (Kramer) may just need Alex's help to stop...

The Big Ass Spider!

Loved it.

A B movie horror comedy that takes itself seriously enough, but still has fun with the premise.

Add a buddy cop movie with great interplay between Alex and Jose, that elevates the picture even more.

That they are able to attempt to squeeze a romantic angle in to boot?

Well done.

The CGI effects on the spider are actually pretty good as well.

Forget Sharknado and all the other SyFy garbage films, we need more like this.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would be willing to do either, and both.

Whatchoo Gonna Do When "The WWE Network" Runs Wild On You, Brother?

First the Marvel Universe comes to the big screen and doesn't suck...

Then a 24/7 WWE network launches...


It's like I found a magic lamp and got three wishes, but I couldn't make any wishes that would solely benefit me, nor could I cure any disease or cause world peace.

So yeah, that sounds about right!

:)

For those that are still reading, the WWE Network launched last Monday.

For 10 bucks a month, they are streaming on your tablets, phones, computers, Playstations, Xboxes...

If you can get a signal, it'll stream!

What are they streaming you ask?

Well for starters, every Pay-Per-View event in the history of the company is online.  I've heard rumors that about less than a handful of events are missing, but I'm sure they'll be added.

In addition, they've added PPV events from WCW and ECW as well.

Plus, they've got past replays of Raw, Smackdown, Main Event, Superstars...

There is the wrestling superstars of tomorrow with NXT.

They have original programming...

There is so much content it will literally blow your mind.

Plus, it works just like a regular channel, you turn it on and there is something already in progress playing.  You have the option to jump in and continue watching, or start over from the beginning.

Or go to the menu and choose from any of the items that I listed above.

The place is interactive and user friendly.

Oh yeah, I failed to mention that subscription to the channel brings each NEW PPV to your home, live when it happens.  That includes the Big Four: Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, SummerSlam and Survivor Series.  Plus the other 8 that round out the calendar year.

All included in the price of subscription.

So basically, for the price of ordering Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania once each year, you get all of this...

And much...much more.

Kid. Candy store.

I think you can smell what the Rock is cookin'...

The only downside I can see, is there is probably no way that the price remains this low in the future.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Infinitely rewatchable.  I'm in.