Don't Spend One Moment On This "Ping Pong Summer"

Ping Pong Summer (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Marcello Conte, Helena Seabrook, John Hannah, Lea Thompson, Susan Sarandon

Written and Directed by Michael Tully

The Story:

Radical Miracle (Conte) is going on a coming of age summer adventure with his sister (Seabrook) and parents (Thompson & Hannah). Something is going to make this his greatest summer ever...

But I was so bored and uninterested in the film after 10 minutes, I took it out and mailed it back.

Had I known it was streaming on Amazon Prime, I could have saved the mailman the trouble of moving this disc across the miles.

Michael Tully is officially on my list of directors to not bother with.

The film was painfully unfunny, not dramatic, not really anything at all.

When the greatest part of the movie is using Casey Kasem's American Top 40 to hear a long-distance dedication, it's time to move on.

Also shot to be grainy to "look and feel" like an 80s film, it only serves to undercut whatever you're trying to make as a finished product.

80s movies may have been grainy, but the best are revered classics, the worst are cringe-worthy cult classics or so bad they're cheesy good.

This film is none off those.

Final Grade: D-

It's "Tammy" and Lousie. Sort Of.

Tammy (2014)

R

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates,

Directed by Ben Falcone

The Story:

Tammy (McCarthy) has just been fired, finds her husband cheating on her, so she decides to go on a road trip. Except her car is shot also. Her mom (Bates) refuses to allow her to use the car. So she borrows Grandma (Sarandon), her money and her car, and the duo head to Niagara Falls.

Hilarity ensues.

Unless you find it to be more tedious than humorous.

Then you would be me.

Added to Identity Thief and Heat, this is the third movie starring Melissa McCarthy that I found to be "average".

She is funny.

I do not hate her.

Strange that a critic needs to mention that, but I have nothing against her personally or her weight.

I have something against comedies that aren't funny.

Like her previous movies, there were chuckles and a few genuine laughs to be found. The problem? They existed in a 90 minute movie where the other 75 minutes were drawn out and less than funny.

Great cast. Less than great script.

When the writers are the star and the director...

Well, there's your problem.

For the record, while I never reviewed Bridesmaids (McCarthy's big screen break), I found it to be a C+ range of a film where the critics gushed that finally the girls had an R rated comedy they could call their own.

As I've said before, if you're going for R, the jokes simply need to be consistently funny.

We'll see what happens when I see the Ghostbusters revamp.


Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not a chance. I had almost forgotten I had even watched this one, so consider the grade a generous one.

Farewell To March... "Shall We Dance?"

Shall We Dance (2004)

Rated PG-13 for language

Starring Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci

Directed by Peter Chelsom

The Story:

John Clark (Gere) is a lawyer who has found that something is missing in his life.  He loves his wife (Sarandon) and family, but he's not quite happy.  On the ride home one night, he sees Paulina (Lopez) at a dance studio and impulsively rushes over to take dance lessons.  He winds up with a different teacher (Anita Gillette) but still, something about dance seems to make John...happy.  So he continues to practice, but keeps his new secret from his wife which sets off a chain of misunderstanding that threatens his homelife.

Not a bad flick at all.

It's a tough sell though...is it a romantic comedy? A Dramedy?

It's charming and humourous throughout.

It straddles a fine line because John isn't happy in life, but he's not cheating on his wife, though it's possible that was his intention when he first got off the train.

Instead, he finds that dance is that passion he never knew he was missing.

Add in the always sensational performance from Stanley Tucci as a co-worker who also secretly enjoys to dance, and you've got a pretty enjoyable flick .

Final Grade: B/B- range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would have no problem letting this play again...not sure I would need to buy it though.

It's Not What You Know, But Who..."The Company You Keep"

Wait, they still have newspapers?

The Story:

Back in the 70s, several Weather Underground activists robbed a bank and killed a security guard.  They disappeared and went into hiding. Over 30 years later, the first (Susan Sarandon) has attempted to come forward to clear her conscious.  A reporter (Shia LaBeouf) tackles her story and begins to peel back the layers and discovers that a local lawyer (Robert Redford) is one of her accomplices.  The dominoes begin to fall as the lawyer begins to run...

But is he running because of guilt, or innocence?

I wasn't sure what to expect when I got this one.  It's got a great cast from leads to bit parts.

Who haven't I mentioned yet?

Nick Nolte. Chris Cooper. Terrence Howard. Stanley Tucci. Richard Jenkins. Sam Elliott and many more.

Granted, the movie falls squarely on the shoulders of Redford and LaBeouf as the two carry out their two stories that weave together throughout the movie.

It was a solid action/drama/thriller.

I won't discuss much more because I don't want to ruin any of the twists and turns for anyone who hasn't  seen it and would like to.

I will say that Redford, much like Eastwood, has developed into a really great director in the latter half of his career.

The main difference, Redford doesn't get the critical acclaim like Eastwood does.

Either way, this was a pretty entertaining movie.

Feel free to give it a spin, I think you'll be pleased with your choice.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not quite as fun as Redford's Sneakers, but not bad.  I could watch it again.

An All-Star Cast is Usually An All-Out Flop..."The Big Wedding"

Til death do they part.  Or Divorce.  Whichever comes first.

The Story:

Don (Robert DeNiro) and Ellie (Diane Keaton) were married once.  They had 2 children: Jared (Topher Grace) and Lyla (Katherine Heigl).  They adopted Alejandro (Ben Barnes) a few years later, but it was too little, too late to save their marriage.  Don has moved on, and in, with Bebe (Susan Sarandon), Ellie's best friend.  However everyone is coming back home to see Alejandro tie the knot with Missy (Amanda Seyfried).  However, Alejandro needs a favor from his parents:  could they please pretend to still be married this weekend?  His real mom is coming to America, and a strict Catholic would simply not approve of the divorce. 

What could possibly go wrong?

This is another all-star comedy that mostly works.

It's more amusing than flat-out comedy, and one that embraces it's "R" rating.

Which again, sometimes I lament that screenplays feel the need to throw that around in a movie that could otherwise easily grabbed a PG-13 rating and appealed to a wider audience.

Otherwise, no real complaints with the movie.

The performances are all enjoyable, as we have a consummate group of actors on display in this movie.

It was a treat to see Susan Sarandon again, as she seems to have mostly disappeared from movies as the years go by, which is a shame.  She's a natural at comedy, and has a great time with her role.

Robin Williams is also included in a minor role as the priest who will perform the ceremony.  He is restrained, and possibly the only sane member of the cast. ;)

The only real casting misfire comes at the end when Lyla's boyfriend is revealed.  When you have a "beautiful cast" of great actors... you couldn't spring for one more to play the boyfriend, if even for a moment?  I suppose they want to give hope that real life works that way, but rarely do you see someone like Heigl dating a caveman...

: )

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  No need to own it, but I could watch it again if it was on.  No big hurry though.

"Cloud Atlas" Several Hundred Years Crammed Into 3 Hours

Well, that was something.

The Story:

Six different stories.  All linked together through time and space.  From a slave ship in the 1800s to a far flung dystopian future, this film has it all.  Not that thrilled with the current story, wait a few minutes, and it will all change.  To explain this movie's plots much further will either confuse you further, or give away everything...or nothing.

I'm still not sure.

:)

Make no mistake about it, this movie is long.  It's about 3 hours long.

That said, unlike 90 minute movies that feel 3 hours long, this movie doesn't drag too terribly much, and so the 3 hours doesn't feel too laborious.

The cast, some more recognizable than others under makeup do a tremendous job of changing personalities, genders and race as the stories weave in and out of each other.

Among those are Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Hugh Grant and Susan Sarandon.

My favorite tale of the group would be the one set in the "present", 2012.  Next, 1973 and then 1849.  Finally, the 1930 tale rounded out my more favorite moments from the film.

My least favorite tales were the two future stories, but your mileage may vary.

The movie was highly ambitious and overachieving, but definitely something.  They aimed for the stars, and came up somewhat short, but I give them much credit for trying.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Doubtful, but that's due more to the length and tone than anything.

The Only Way To Learn About True Stories is Through a "Snitch"

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

Unless your dad is The Rock.

The Story:

Jason Collins (Rafi Gavron) is out of high school, getting ready for college...and enjoys a little weed from time to time.  So his friend tells him he's going to send him a package and to hold it until he gets there.  The package arrives, and it's filled with pills...and a sting operation to arrest him.  His mother (Melina Kanakaredes) is distraught, and turns to her ex-husband, and Jason's estranged father, John (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) who is a successful construction worker to get him out of jail.  The Prosecuter (Susan Sarandon) says if Jason is willing to set up other druggies, he'll get a reduced sentence.  Jason doesn't know anyone else, and refuses, so he's about to do some hard time.  Dad steps up and offers his services.  Soon he's in over his head as he goes from local distributor to working directly for the cartel.  Will John be able to save his son, or will the cartel find out he's a snitch and kill him first?

Everyone should already know by now, that if The Rock is in the movie, I'm going to be watching, right?  I love the guy, always have, always will.

The fact is, he's only made two movies that I really didn't care for, Be Cool and Southland Tales.

Both were bad, but Dwayne isn't the problem.

Even the best action hero can't save a weak script.

And therein lies the problem with today's movie.

Inspired by true events...yawn...heard it all before...

The movie doesn't ratchet up the drama or the tension to really pull you in as a drama or a thriller.  The action pieces are spread too far apart to make this one an action flick.

Instead, it sort of labors along on the Rock's broad shoulders, but even he can only carry a movie so far on his own.

Along for the ride is Barry Pepper, looking an awful lot like Daniel Bryan under the most ridiculous beard this side of Duck Dynasty, as an undercover cop.  Then there is the "whatever happened to" Benjamin Bratt, as the cartel leader.  It was nice to see him again, I don't think I've seen him in anything since Miss Congeniality.

Not a total waste of time and effort to watch it, but could have been much better.

Final Grade: B-... I'm afraid if I give the Rock a C+, he might come and punch me!

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Sorry Rock, I'm afraid this one isn't going to be added to the collection.  But don't worry, we'll always have The Tooth Fairy! :)

Initiate Self Destruct Sequence... "Robot and Frank"

You never know when, or where,  you'll find a friend...

The Story:

Sometime in the future, a former thief (Frank Langella) is getting older, and more forgetful.  His son (James Marsden) is getting tired of coming out to take care of him, so he buys a robot (Peter Sarsgaard) to tend to his dad and take care of the house.  Initially  resentful and irritated, Frank comes alive when the robot inspires him to dust off his criminal ways.



For the majority of this film, it is actually quite fun and interesting.  Frank and the robot spar verbally with each other.  Okay, Frank spars, the robot just takes it and does his job.


It turns out that the thing he didn't want, a robotic companion, makes Frank feel more alive than he has in ages.  He flirts with the town librarian (Susan Sarandon) and centers his first heist around something he thinks she'll enjoy.


Then Frank's daughter (Liv Tyler) shows up... and the movie about comes undone with her pettiness about doing what she thinks is right and not listening to her father.

It gets old after about a minute.

: /

The movie picks up steam again as Frank works to stay one step ahead of the law, however,  this movie needed about 5 minutes shaved off of it.

The ending.

The movie should have ended with the hug.

That simple scene said it all.

Instead, it went on longer, driving home the realization of how lonely Frank really was sink in, and ruin an otherwise pretty pleasant experience.


So if you do watch it, which I highly encourage, feel free to press stop at the hug.  You'll know it when you see it.

It dropped this film from a B+ to...

Final Grade: B-

Would I Own It: No, it was cute once, but I don't want to see the whiny daughter or the sad ending again.