Let's Get Ready to Rumble..."The Condemned 2"

The Condemned 2 (2015)

Rated R

Starring Randy Orton, Eric Roberts

Directed by Roel Reine

The Story:

Will Tanner (Orton) is a bounty hunter. When a fugitive winds up dead, Tanner winds up in court and he is lucky to not be sent to prison. However, the fugitive's brother wants revenge, and in a high stake gambling match that pits Tanner against his old crew in a fight to the death, Will has little choice but to fight, or die!

Almost a decade ago, WWE Studios released The Condemned. The premise: 10 felons are left alone on an island and fight to the death. To the winner-freedom. And it's all televised across the world and it's a ratings smash!

I'm sure one of these years when Survivor's ratings are tanking, they will employ this strategy.

WWE  continues to pave the way!

:)

Randy Orton once again gets to be the star, having already been in the 12 Rounds franchise.

I think he needs to take a crack at The Marine in order to headline all of WWEs franchises. :)

Anyway, he does a fine and believable job. Eric Roberts tags along and has some fun as the dad who is hard on his son, but would do anything to help him.

All in all, the premise is actually pretty good, and WWE Studios continues to crank out modest hits that aren't too bad at all.

Nice to help bridge the gap into the movies for the wrestlers as they wind down their in-ring and prepare for life after the squared circle.

It's worked out pretty well for a lot of them, 1 of which will be in tomorrow's review.

Final Grade: C+

Thirty Years Of "Wrestlemania" Running Wild On You!

Every year, for 30 years, Vince McMahon has held a party around my birthday weekend.

For that, I appreciate my annual gift from the WWE.

This year with the WWE Network, I was able to see WrestleMania live for the first time...legally...

:)

I've purchased Royal Rumbles before, but otherwise, that's the only Pay Per View I don't want to miss.

Now, for 10 bucks a month, I get to watch every PPV and 1000s of other hours of PPVs and shows anytime, anywhere.

More stuff than I'll ever be able to actually watch, and I know for that, my wife is happy.

The night before, several superstars were inducted into the Hall of Fame, including 2 of my favorites from back in the day: Jake the Snake Roberts and Razor Ramon.

It was a long ceremony, with some rambling speeches, one by Mr. T that ended up getting called for exceeding the time limit.

Whoops!

:)

As for the program itself, it opened with Hulk Hogan coming down to welcome us to the Silverdome!

Only problem, brother, is that was the site of WrestleMania III, and we are actually at the SuperDome in New Orleans.

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to join him, and then the duo are joined by The Rock!

The first 30 minutes were worth the price of the admission alone.

Then a brutal contest opens with Triple H versus Daniel Bryan, the winner moves on to the main event against Orton and Batista.

Again, for those that say it's fake, find replay shots of the Daniel Bryan sized boot-bruise on Triple H's leg!  Yowch!

Great match, and the right outcome to keep the crowd happy.

The 30 Man Andre the Giant Battle Royal offered several great moments for superstars, especially Kofi and Cesaro.  Fun match.

And then it was time for...

The Streak!

The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar.

Let me just say, I never in my life thought I would see the Streak end, except when the Undertaker decided to retire.

I've never seen 75,000 people suddenly so quiet...

The stadium stayed that way deep into the championship match before Daniel Bryan finally willed the people to cheer again.

Chaos ensued in the no disqualification match as it was literally a mountain of Attitude Era shenanigans that conspired to destroy Bryan's chances.

Did he overcome?

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: It's one for the ages.  I'll likely revisit several matches again in the future.

Whatchoo Gonna Do When "The WWE Network" Runs Wild On You, Brother?

First the Marvel Universe comes to the big screen and doesn't suck...

Then a 24/7 WWE network launches...


It's like I found a magic lamp and got three wishes, but I couldn't make any wishes that would solely benefit me, nor could I cure any disease or cause world peace.

So yeah, that sounds about right!

:)

For those that are still reading, the WWE Network launched last Monday.

For 10 bucks a month, they are streaming on your tablets, phones, computers, Playstations, Xboxes...

If you can get a signal, it'll stream!

What are they streaming you ask?

Well for starters, every Pay-Per-View event in the history of the company is online.  I've heard rumors that about less than a handful of events are missing, but I'm sure they'll be added.

In addition, they've added PPV events from WCW and ECW as well.

Plus, they've got past replays of Raw, Smackdown, Main Event, Superstars...

There is the wrestling superstars of tomorrow with NXT.

They have original programming...

There is so much content it will literally blow your mind.

Plus, it works just like a regular channel, you turn it on and there is something already in progress playing.  You have the option to jump in and continue watching, or start over from the beginning.

Or go to the menu and choose from any of the items that I listed above.

The place is interactive and user friendly.

Oh yeah, I failed to mention that subscription to the channel brings each NEW PPV to your home, live when it happens.  That includes the Big Four: Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, SummerSlam and Survivor Series.  Plus the other 8 that round out the calendar year.

All included in the price of subscription.

So basically, for the price of ordering Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania once each year, you get all of this...

And much...much more.

Kid. Candy store.

I think you can smell what the Rock is cookin'...

The only downside I can see, is there is probably no way that the price remains this low in the future.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Infinitely rewatchable.  I'm in.

Time To Play The Game... "Triple H: Thy Kingdom Come"

WWE: Triple H- Thy Kingdom Come

Starring Triple H, The Rock, Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Jim Ross, The Undertaker

The Story:

The WWE returns with another excellent documentary, this time chronicling the career of Triple H.

I've made no secret that I think Triple H is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.

While The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin were the undeniable stars of the WWE during the Attitude Era, Triple H made an excellent foil for them both when they were not facing off against each other.

It's fun going back and watching his rise to stardom from very humble beginnings to where he is today.

I also make no secret that I find the criticism that he married the boss' daughter being the only reason that caused him to make it to the top, to be complete rubbish.

He was at the top before their relationship ever happened, and he has been far removed from the main title picture for so long now, it's not even remotely valid criticism.

The only thing it did allow, was for a smoother transition to the other side of helping run the WWE as his in-ring career winds down.

Which is really no different than what Vince McMahon has done for dozens of wrestlers who help behind the scenes after they hang up the boots.

Triple H just gets a bigger office.

;)

Great documentary, now available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd love to add this to the WWE collection side of the DVD library. :)

Last Monday Night in October..."WWE 25 Greatest Rivalries in Wrestling History"

Whatchoo Gonna Do....


The Story:

This is pretty straightforward, the WWE looks at what they consider the 25 greatest wrestling rivalries in the history of wrestling.

You can argue that some of the placements are wrong... this one was more important/better than that one...

You can argue that there are some rivalries that are just plain missing from this set...

You won't be wrong.

However, for a new fan, here's 25 reasons why fans love watching wrestling.

These were compelling stories, and you'd swear it's... dare I say it...

They. Were. Real!

These guys seemed to not like each other one bit, and that normally spelled magic in the ring.

Each rivalry is accompanied by a WWE personality or talking head that discussed their thoughts on the rivalry. 

There are some interesting choices about who is doing the talking.  Some obvious, some less so.

Strangely, they do  not talk to the combatants in the feud.  I'm not sure if it's for better or worse that they did that.

Hey, talk about that time that you really didn't like this guy...

: /

Instead, they use clips and photographs to tell the story and let you feel the feud.

For the ones you've never seen, it's a good representation.

For the ones that you watched, it's like a magic time machine that takes you back and you remember watching it unfold live and brings back some good memories of some great matches.

The only other thing that was a letdown on this set...

The dorky chemistry lab references & hostess.

Otherwise, no complaints.

The countdown is streaming on Netflix as of this writing, if you want to see some of the matches, you'll have to buy or rent the rest of the set.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  Someday... ;)

Sounds Like A Bad Career Choice to Conduct an "Interview With A Hitman"

Trust no one.

Duh.

The Story:

Viktor (Luke Goss) grows up with a tough life in the Eastern European part of the world.  Taught to be a ruthless assassin at an early age, Viktor ends up faking his own death to get away from those who would seek to betray him.  He turns up in London, and immediately gets involved with a new crime family, and when they send him to assassinate one final target, Viktor cannot because he finds he is falling in love with her.  Will love conquer all, or is Viktor just kidding himself that he can escape his past?

Filmed on a budget of about $1.75, I went in with low expectations already.  The premise and plot are decent enough, here we have an assassin that is being filmed, telling his life story.  Starting as a child, and working us up through today, Viktor paints a dark and brooding picture of the life of a paid killer.

Plus, don't get me wrong, I like Luke Goss.  He stepped in admirably and kept the Death Race franchise going.  He's the cross between Jason Statham and Stone Cold Steve Austin of action heroes.

Minus all of their charisma.  :)

At least in this film.

He plays his part well, a cold, calculating killer.

Then the movie gets to a point where Viktor makes a life decision, and at that point, the movie became predictable, with one of two possible endings, both of them contrived. 

Naturally, they used the worst of the two choices.

All I'm going to say, is if you are a hitman, the phrase "Trust No One" is your mantra.

Do not deviate.

This one is available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing if you are so inclined.

Final Grade: C-  The ending sucked any goodwill I was going to impart on this one.  It's lucky to not get a "D" grade from me.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would pass on either option, and watch any of the Death Race installments instead.

I Have No Memory of Watching This Film... "The Stranger"

Stone Cold! Stone Cold!

The Story:

The FBI is on the hunt for a fugitive with amnesia (Steve Austin).  His doctor (Erica Cerra) thinks his memory is coming back, and wants to help him.  It appears that The Stranger has some damaging evidence against the FBI:  A mole in their midst!

You can see the plot twists and turns coming a mile away!

For a direct to DVD movie, this one wasn't half bad.


Especially considering the Steven Seagal/Steve Austin one that I saw not too long ago.


: )

The acting is competent, the action sequences and stunt work are passable.

Nothing ground-breaking, but nothing brain-numbingly awful, either.

Perhaps they rely on flashbacks a bit much as they try and convey bits and pieces of his memory.  That's okay for a bit, but the trick gets used and abused when it feels like you've seen the same sequences so many times by  movies end.

Otherwise, a passable thriller if you enjoy mindless (get it!) action flicks.


Steve keeps making them, I'll keep streaming them.


Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Grade: C+

Would I Own It: Nah, once was sufficient.

Seagal + Prison = "Maximum Conviction"

First, Steven Seagal is still alive.

Second, Steven Seagal is still making movies...

Believe it.

Or not!


The Story:

When two women prisoners are the target of some bad guys attempting to break them out, there are only two men on earth that can stop them:  Steven Seagal and Stone Cold Steve Austin!


So yeah, I'm guessing direct to DVD/Netflix Streaming is the way of the future.

Steven Seagal is still kicking butt and taking names, so you already know what to expect from this little gem.

It's 2 guys against a small army.  Lots of gunfights, fistfights, I think there was even a knife fight or two.


So yeah, if you've seen one Seagal movie, you've seen them all.

This is no Under Siege.

But it's right in line with just about everything else.

Final Grade:  C-


Available for Streaming at your leisure.  I enjoyed (watched) this one split over 3 different nights. ;)