Creature Report! Creature Report! "Octonauts"

Octonauts (2010)

TV G

The Story:

The Octonauts are a band of intrepid undersea explorers whose credo is to Explore! Rescue! Protect! Each episode finds them interacting with a sea creature of some sort, and at the end, they break into a catchy little song to recap some of the facts that you've learned about the critter of the day.

The benefits of having children is you get to watch shows you would otherwise never see.

This offering comes, based on some books that were turned into a British children's series, which was in turn redubbed with some American accents for the minor characters and brought to the Disney Channel.

And, as you can see by their picture, they are absolutely adorable, and needless to say, my 3 year old has been enjoying their adventures on Netflix, streaming them in a seemingly endless barrage of Octonaut adventures.

But it's okay, the episodes are short, amusing, and again, your kids are learning some marine biology along the way.

Something that can't be said for that other show about creatures living under the sea.

Just watch out for the catchy "Creature Report" jingle at the end, it's going to stick with you!

Final Grade: B

We've All Had Days Like "Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014)

Rated PG

Starring Steve Carell, Jennifer Garner, Ed Oxenbould, Dylan Minnette, Kerris Dorsey,

Directed by Miguel Arteta

The Story:

The Coopers (Carrell, Garner, Minnette and Dorsey) have a pretty good life. All except for Alexander (Oxenbould), who feels that he has a pretty bad day (see story title), every day!  So naturally on his birthday, he makes a wish on his cupcake that for once, his family could feel what it's like to not have a perfect day.

Remember kids, be careful what you wish for!

Okay, admittedly I rolled my eyes when I heard this was being adapted into a movie. I vaguely remember the book from my youth, and I'm not sure I've ever read it to my kids when they were growing up.

But from what I remember, there's no way that book becomes a movie.

However, put the ball in the other court, and show the rest of his perfect family having a very not-so perfect day, and you've struck gold.

Or, at least with my rating, how about silver?

It's a perfectly fine family comedy, but isn't that what we've come to expect from Disney over the years?

Carell gets some amusing gags throughout the film, and Garner has an exceptional bit with legendary Dick Van Dyke.

And if there is any wonder on whether or not the Coopers can turn it all around before the credits roll...

Well, this isn't  your first Disney film, is it?

: )

Final Grade: B-

"The Wedding Ringer" Will Solve All Of Your Problems

The Wedding Ringer (2015)

Rated R

Starring Kevin Hart, Josh Gad, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting,

Directed by Jeremy Garelick

The Story:

Doug (Gad) is getting married to Gretchen (Sweeting), but he's got a major problem: He's got no real friends to be his Best Man or his Groomsmen. He's made up some names, but now the date is dangerously close, and he's got nothing to do... but hire Jimmy (Hart) from Best Man Inc. For a modest fee, he will provide all of your best man services, and even keeps up the charade years after the nuptials as required. However Doug needs some serious help, and Jimmy is going to need to pull off the biggest job of his career to make this wedding go off without a hitch!

I have to admit, this was a pretty funny movie.

Hart is so energetic and fun, it's hard not to laugh when he is on a roll. Thankfully, he is given a lot of room to have fun pulling off his con, if you will, throughout the film.  Normally a very smooth operator, he is stuck having to work at a disadvantage because Doug created an insane backstory that has to be utilized for all the family.

Gad works in the role as a nerdy, you can't believe he's going to marry the girl that is so obviously out of his league.

Which, the movie telegraphs a bit too much what is going to happen from beginning to end, but overall, it's not a horrible thing, especially in a comedy.

Couple this film with Hitch, and you begin to wonder if there really is a service out there like these, and if not...

why not?

Seems like roping in a ringer might be quite helpful in some situations.

Final Grade: B-

Please Look After This Bear... "Paddington"

Paddington (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Madeleine Harris, Samuel Joslin, Ben Whishaw, Nicole Kidman

Directed by Paul King

The Story:

A bear named Paddington (voiced by Whishaw) finds himself in need of a home. Naturally, London is the place to be, so he sets off for England and runs into the Brown family who take him in. Naturally, what starts out as a fish out of water story becomes a tale of love and acceptance into the family. Of course, there's going to be a little bit of danger afoot first!

Okay, honestly, when I heard they were making a Paddington movie, I rolled my eyes and thought, really? The bear with the hat and coat?

Why?

Of course, I try and keep an open mind when these movies are released, and after arriving on my doorstep to groans from just about everyone, in it went.

And you know what?

It wasn't that bad.

No, nothing you haven't seen before, but good, harmless fun for the whole family.

More in the line of Stuart Little than Air Bud, so it's good for the whole family without getting on your nerves, fast!

While the bear is the star, I would like to commend Hugh Bonneville's turn as the beleaguered father who is the most reluctant to want to keep Paddington, yet gets roped into more adventures with him, and to save him, than anyone else. He's a good sport, and brings a whole lot of fun to the film.

So yes, if there's a Paddington 2, I will be there to see what happens next.

I also won't be disappointed if they don't make a sequel.

:)

Final Grade: B-

We've All Had Some "Horrible Bosses 2"

Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)

Rated R

Starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, Chris Pine, Christoph Waltz

Directed by Sean Anders

The Story:

Nick (Bateman), Kurt (Sudeikis) and Dale (Day) return, but this time they have invented a product and they are going to be their own bosses! They pitch it to billionaire Bert Hanson (Waltz) and he loves the idea and orders a boatload of them. The boys get down to business creating the product, all on their own dime, but when they take the product to Mr. Hanson, he declines, having already created a similar product. The guys plot their revenge, and that involves taking Hanson's son (Pine) hostage and ransoming him so they can save their company. Of course where these guys are concerned, nothing ever goes according to plan.

Having been pleasantly surprised at how funny the original Horrible Bosses turned out to be, I was eagerly anticipating the sequel, and hoped it wouldn't be a disappointment.

Long story short, if you liked the first one, there is little doubt that you will enjoy this follow up.

It's rude. It's crude.

But hey, that's where half the charm lies.

Sudeikis is manic, and his delivery is just killer. Listening to him deliver his lines simply kills throughout the film.

Day was a revelation for me from the first film, as I don't believe I had seen him in anything prior to that. As the exasperated one of the trio, he and Sudeikis provide a whirlwind of emotions and delivery that allow Bateman to be "the sane one" in a series of insane moments.

This works, and doesn't make Bateman have to do all the heavy lifting like he does in some other movies.

It provides a nice balance between the 3 stars.

Aniston and Spacey return in brief, but memorable parts that help drive the narrative.

I could think of worse things to endure than the prospect of a third go-round with this group.

Final Grade: B

J.K. Simmons Will Give You "Whiplash"

Whiplash (2014)

Rated R

Starring Miles Teller, J.K Simmons

Written and Directed by Damien Chazelle

The Story:

Andrew (Teller) wants to be a great drummer, the next Charlie Parker. At the prestigious music academy he attends, there is one teacher there, Fletcher (Simmons) who can help him realize that potential.

Be careful what you wish for.

It's everything and nothing that you've seen before.

A mentor takes a student under this wing and makes life for student miserable.

But in the end, the student excels and proves that they had the gift all along, and just needed the right push.

Enter Teller as the happy go lucky Andrew who gets into the band, and is immediately assaulted, verbally and physically by Simmons.

And the for the record, tell me Simmons spouting similar lines in a Spider-Man movie isn't something that would fit the character of J. Jonah Jameson to a t!

: )

Simmons can act, everyone knows that, and he deserves the award he won for the character. You know he's pushing the limits of what he can do to make his student better, but you're uncomfortable enough to wonder if you should root for him to continue his ways or to let go.

By the finale, the relationship between these two is going to take their weirdest, yet most satisfying turn yet.

Great movie, that I'm dinging for the subplot with the girl, and the unbelievable car crash/concert scene.

I get why both were included, but the credibility (or care-ability) of the story suffered accordingly.  When it's about the music, then the movie sings.

Especially when Simmons is involved.

Final Grade: B

"Lucy" Is Not The Missing Link Of Action Films

Lucy (2014)

Rated R

Starring Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Amr Waked, Min-sik Choi,

Written and Directed by Luc Besson

The Story:

Lucy (Johansson) winds up as a drug mule for Mr. Jang (Choi). When the drugs burst into her system, her brain starts utilizing more of its potential. This leads Lucy to try and contact Professor Norman (Freeman) the man who has hypothesized what potential that could be for humanity. Lucy heads to Paris to meet, and with the help of the police captain (Waked) she is going to ensure Jang never runs drugs again.

So here you go, a superhero movie disguised as a thriller.

Strangely, I was not hooked into the narrative like I normally am with Luc Besson films.

The film seemingly meanders around trying to explain how Lucy is becoming self aware of her newfound powers, and then it would punctuate with an action sequence.

Of course, this becomes similar to watching a movie with Superman in it. When you have a force that cannot be stopped, where is the danger and conflict for the audience to connect with?

Once Lucy becomes aware and adept at her powers, of course she's going to survive the gauntlet she's about to run.

Without the tension of "will she make it?" I started to let my mind wander by that point, and just waited for the movie to end.

Never a good sign.

Final Grade: C

"Enough Said" About This Relationship

Enough Said (2013)

Rated PG-13

Starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, James Gandolfini, Toni Collette, Ben Falcone, Catherine Keener

Written and Directed by Nicole Holofcener

The Story:

Eva (Dreyfus) is a divorced, single parent who works as a masseuse. She meets Marianne at a party, the two connect, and Marianne becomes her next client, and they actually becomes friends as well. Marianne does like to complain about her ex husband, a lot.  At the same party, Eva met Albert (Gandolfini) as well. No real attraction, but the two went on a date and began seeing each other, and they really seem to like each other's company.

Stop me if you can see where this is going.

:)


Now, just because we know who everyone is, doesn't mean that Eva does.

At least, not at first.

However, once she meets Albert's daughter and then sees her again at Marianne's house, well the truth is now revealed to Eva.

And once she knows the truth, Marianne's words begin to slowly poison Eva's relationship with Albert.

Will the two find true happiness, or are they as doomed as Albert's first relationship?

Great chemistry from Dreyfus and Gandolfini, and the relationship seems "real" thanks to the efforts of Holofcener to make the two seem like real people, having real conversations.

Kind of refreshing.

Final Grade: B-

"Dracula Untold" Was Worth Telling

Dracula Untold (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance

Directed by Gary Shore

The Story:

Inspired by the true story of Vlad Tepes (Evans), this take on the legend of Dracula shows how the ruler became a legend in order to save his wife (Gadon) and son (Parkinson) from the cruel leader of the Turks (Cooper) who was going to enslave 1000 of the children under Tepes rule, including his son. Vlad found a way to get the power he needed to thwart the enemy, and it would last for 3 days unless he gave in to the hunger of the blood.

Oops.

:)

Well of course he gives in, he's Dracula after all!

However, it's the struggle to avoid being consumed by the power that is the heart of the story of Vlad who seeks only to save his family, and his kingdom from the tyrannical Turks.

Evans remains one of my favorite "B movie actors" who is finally getting a chance to work in "A Level material", undoubtedly thanks to the success of his turn in Fast 6. I welcome his arrival as the star and hope he lands more leading roles in the future.

Dracula Untold shies away from a lot of the bloodshed and violence that a movie like this seemingly demands.

However, I don't think that was a bad decision. We don't need to be drenched with blood to get the point of the film, sometimes not being shown allows us to think of the horror in our own minds, which usually is way scarier, and cooler, than the effects on screen.

Plus, bonus points for the creative way in which Dracula was shown to move in this film. Visually stunning, and very creative to the legend.

I enjoyed it, your mileage may vary.

Final Grade: B- (like the blood type)

Who Are We To Be "The Judge" ?

The Judge (2014)

Rated R

Starring Robert Downey Jr., Robert Duvall,Vera Farmiga, Billy Bob Thornton, Vincent D'Onfrio, Jeremy Strong,

Directed by David Dobkin

The Story:

Hank Palmer (Downey Jr.) is a hotshot lawyer from Chicago who pretty much has it all. He receives news that his mother has passed, so he goes home for the funeral. There he reconnects with his brothers (D'Onfrio and Srong) and continues an icy relationship with his father, The Judge (Duvall). However, when his dad is accused of murder, Hank insists on trying to save his father from prison. However, even Hank is going to try every trick in the book, especially when it looks like the truth is going to do anything but set his father free.

This film is a bit of an odd duck.

Completely a drama, the tone remains light and comedic throughout. However, I think that owes more to it trying to relate to real life than anything else. Sometimes, these things happen, and if you don't laugh, you'll likely explode.

The trick at this point is divorcing Robert Downey Jr. from the role of Tony Stark. Hank Palmer is as smooth and assured of a character as Stark, so at times, it's easy to forget which Downey we're watching.

Again, this is not exactly a bad thing, if you want someone to be an awesome Robert Downey Jr. / Tony Stark amalgam, you might as well hire the guy, right?

Duvall also commands the screen, walking a fine line between pride/ego and pain. It's one he pulls off effortlessly, and so easy to see how a father and son can both love and hate each other, so much, at the same time.

Especially when they are both too stubborn to communicate with each other.

Surrounded by a fine supporting cast that gets to shine with little moments, it's a great character piece which ultimately takes you around in circles and puts everything right back together again at the end.

Just differently.

Life life.

No complaints here.

Final Grade: B

Two Thumbs Up For "Life Itself"

Life Itself (2014)

Documentary

Starring Roger Ebert, Chaz Ebert, Gene Siskel

Directed by Steve James

The Story:

Life Itself is the story of Pulitzer Prize winning movie critic Roger Ebert. Undoubtedly, anyone who has ever gone to a movie has at least seen the effect that Ebert and his partner Gene Siskel made on the movies: 2 thumbs up!

I shamelessly steal that tagline for the title of this review.

I probably now owe someone some money... : /

Anyway, growing up, I lived to see what movies were coming out, and what reviews Siskel and Ebert would give those films.

Sometimes they were right, sometimes they were wrong.

Sometimes they fought with each other.

Wait, who am I kidding, they ALWAYS fought with each other! :)

And that was the best part of the show.

Oil and water, they could go round and round, and you would swear the two hated each other.

After watching the documentary, that still may be true.

But there was respect there, grudgingly or not.

Anyway, this film started as a documentary to recount Ebert's life to that point, up to and including the surgeries to remove cancer from his body which robbed Ebert of his voice, but not his passion for writing.

His voice lived on through his keyboard and he still reviewed movies on his website up to the very end.

Which sadly, yet sweetly, this movie happened to be filmed at the right time, so to speak, and captured the passing of the legendary film critic.

Needless to say, this was a great documentary about a great life, lived fully.

No doubt, it's highly recommended.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A

The Message Is In "The Song"

The Song (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Alan Powell, Ali Faulkner, Caitlin Nicol-Thomas

Written and Directed by Richard Ramsey

The Story:

Jed King (Powell) is a singer who wrote a song about his wife (Faulkner) that thrust him into the spotlight. When he takes on a tour with a new singer (Thomas) his faith and his marriage begin to crumble as he is tempted at every turn.

Sound familiar?

It should.

It's "The Song" of Solomon, as rebranded as a 21st Century ode to Country music.

And, aside from being a touch slow in a few spots, it's actually not bad.

The message is clear throughout, and the nods to King David play out early in the film.

The preaching is not heavy handed, but it is there, it's coming straight out of Solomon's memoirs, but if you're in the mood for a romantic drama, ala Lifetime, you could do much worse.

Final Grade: C+

Don't Waste A Second On "Living Will"

Living Will (2010)

Rated R

Starring and Directed by a bunch of nobodies that I'm going to waste my time looking up on IMDB.

The Story:

Ryan's best friend, Belcher, dies. Then Belcher returns to haunt his best friend.

Hilarity ensues.

Yet it didn't.

Not a moment of amusement or laughter anywhere to be found.

I turned it off at the 10 minute mark and sent this one back to Netflix.

Sometimes you hope that these no-name, no-budget comedies might amount to something.

This was something alright...

Something awful.

I now have spent more time on this review than I did on the movie.

That should count for something, right?

Final Grade: F

Can Lightning Strike Twice? "Buying And Selling With The Property Brothers"

Buying And Selling With The Property Brothers (2012)

Reality TV

The Story:

The Property Brothers (Jon and Drew Scott) return in an all-new series. This time they work on renovating a family home so they can sell, while also trying to secure the next forever home.

And it doesn't quite do it for me.

Of the 2 seasons, available to stream now on Netflix, I've watched a total of 2 episodes.

I'm not sure, maybe it's that there is less Jon renovating and making miracles happen, or that the focus is on the family and will they sell and buy the next house in a timely manner.

Either way, something didn't click with me falling in love with this HGTV Real Estate venture.

Taking the focus off the brothers and putting it on the family....ho-hum...

Also, no offense to Drew and the buying and selling of real estate, but it's the renovations by Jonathan that were the coolest part of the show, and one that gets lost in the new series (from what I could see) as he often just made cosmetic fixes to bring up the resale of the current home.

Fine show, but I've seen better.

Final Grade: B

Something Just Doesn't Click With "House Hunters"

House Hunters (1999)

Reality TV

The Story:

Suzanne Whang takes us on  journey behind the scenes as a realtor and buyer begin the arduous journey of finding their next dream house.

Again, as one who doesn't watch too much television until I stumble across it on Netflix, apparently House Hunters has been on for a decade and change.

That still doesn't make it a great show.

:)

Don't get me wrong, it's fine, but unlike Love It or List It or Property Brothers, there is no quirky Canadian duo to entice the viewer to stick around from episode to episode.

;)

While a slight exaggeration, upon further reflection, maybe not.

We've got different realtors, different people, different reasons in every episode, and while that's fine, there is no dynamic duo leading the viewer to care if these people succeed or fail at what they are doing.

I believe that is the hook that makes those shows work while I found this one to pale in comparison.

There is a handful of episodes now streaming on Netflix. I've watched one, while I've finished all episodes available of the other 2 shows, and both are in the running for Best of the Year honors.

House Hunters remains unfinished, and I'm in no hurry to return to see who buys the next house.

Final Grade: C+

Someday "The Prince" Will Come. And You'll Be Disappointed.

The Prince (2014)

Rated R

Starring Jason Patric, Bruce Willis, John Cusack

Directed by Brian A. Miller

The Story:

The Prince (Patric) is an ex criminal who got out of the game years ago when he attempted to take out the big bad guy (Willis) and instead killed his daughter.  Now, with his daughter missing, The Prince takes to the streets of New Orleans to find and rescue his daughter by any means necessary.

Remember when you have a successful movie and then everyone wants to make their version of it?

The pitch goes something like, "It's Die Hard, on a... "

Well, here they must have pitched, we get the guy from Die Hard, and we'll do something like Taken!

Because that's what you have, a half-hearted attempt at a crime/suspense thriller.

It's been done, many times, many ways, before.

Sometimes by some of these very same actors.

Which, no offense to Patric, but he doesn't have the charisma of Liam Neeson to carry an entire movie based on his ability to kill anyone, anytime. 

Instead, this will just be another direct to DVD resume filler for most, while we await the next Die Hard, or Taken.

Now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C-

Mistaken Identity Fuels This "Walk Of Shame"

Walk of Shame (2014)

Rated R

Starring Elizabeth Banks, James Marsden, Gillian Jacobs, Ethan Suplee, Bill Burr,

Written and Directed by Steven Brill

The Story:

Meghan (Banks) is a local newswoman with a shot at a Network job. Then in a stunning turn, her boyfriend dumps her and she is informed that the job is going to someone else.  So to drown her sorrows, her friends take her out on the town and she gets plastered and winds up going home with a random guy (Marsden). Then she gets the phone call in the morning, that the network is reconsidering her, and she has until 5:00 pm to get to work and wow the bosses.

But first, she has to figure out where she is, and when her car, wallet, and phone all end up M.I.A., you know this task will not be easy!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Okay, so you've seen this story before, or some variation of it over the last few years.

However, this one is still very well made, and pretty funny throughout, so while the road may seem familiar, it's also a trip well worth taking.

Banks is game for just about anything as she has to race through the city in a little yellow dress.

Naturally, she will be confused for a hooker, among other things, and she is being pursued by various people, including the cops, who all want to chat with her.

Can you outwit them all, make it to the newscast in time to score the anchor job?

Well, duh.

But it's all in how it unfolds, and Brill brings his best work to the screen since Mr. Deeds, making us actually care about Meghan's plight and wondering if she will indeed pull it off.

That says something.

Final Grade: C+

Potential...Wasted. "Laggies"

Laggies (2014)

Rated R

Starring Keira Knightly, Chloe Grace Moretz, Sam Rockwell

Directed by Lynn Shelton

The Story:

Megan (Knightly) is having a bit of a somewhere-in-life crisis. She's not ready to settle down when her boyfriend pops the question. Then she runs across a kid (Moretz) who wants her to buy her and her friends some beer. Why not?  Eventually she will move in with said kid and her dad (Rockwell) and you can guess where this one is going.

Although I can't tell you if it gets there, because at the 10 18 minute mark, I turned it off.

Utterly bored.

Which is a shame, because I am a fan of all three leads, especially Rockwell.

But there was nothing in this one to keep me interested.

Wasn't funny enough for a comedy.

Wasn't dramatic enough for a drama.

I saved myself an hour's worth of pain, and sent it back.

Your mileage may vary, but I remain unimpressed.

Final Grade: D

A Peek Behind The Curtain..."The Writer's Room"

The Writer's Room (2013)

Starring Jim Rash

The Story:

Jim Rash, Academy Award winning writer and actor (The Dean - Community) takes us behind the scenes to talk with the writers responsible for some of your favorite shows.

It's fun, free-wheeling and insightful on how different writers approach these shows and the efforts they go through to bring your favorite shows and characters to light.

In the first season, now streaming on Netflix, you get a behind the scenes journey with the minds behind Dexter, Parks and Recreation, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones American Horror Story and New Girl.

It's a breezy show that moves along quickly with commentary from all involved held under control, mostly, by Rash who is always on, and just as fun "being himself" as he is as The Dean.

Recommended for fans of the shows, fans of television or entertainment in general, and those that love to write.

Final Grade: B