Easily The Worst Movie of 2014...So Far... "Ruby Sparks"

Ruby Sparks (2012)
Rated R for Language, and possibly making me want to kill myself instead of watching the film...

Starring Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan,  Elliot Gould, Steve Coogan

Directed by Johnathan Dayton & Valerie Faris

Now I need therapy...

The Story:

According the to the internet, this movie was supposed to be about a novelist (Dano) who creates a girl named Ruby Sparks (Kazan) who mysteriously and magically comes to life with all of the attributes that he said she would have. 

Yes, it's Weird Science remade!

The Best Part of the Review: You Now Have the "Weird Science Song Stuck in Your Head! : )

Except...

It wasn't funny.

John Hughes was not involved in any way.

And after 15 minutes that felt like 45 minutes of torture, it was turned off, thrown back into the Netflix envelope and sent back to Netflix HQ.

Looking at overall reviews for this film, apparently I'm the one that doesn't get the awesomeness of this movie.

I'm okay with that.

Watching Dano go through therapy with Elliot Gould and whining about not knowing what to write next to his agent, Steve Coogan, I had enough.

This was a waste of talent on a hackneyed script that lost any goodwill with the premise by being...

Boring.

"Can We Look Now? Is He Done Bashing Our Movie?"

It's marketed as a comedy.  It wasn't funny.

It's marketed as a drama.  It wasn't dramtic.

It wasn't a dramedy.

It. Was. Boring.

ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzz.

"I Can't Believe He Doesn't Like Us!!"

Written by Kazan, the script is tedious at best from the time it starts until I clicked it off.  If it had a better ending, hooray, but nothing could beat my ending of removing the film.

Directed by the team that brought us Little Miss Sunshine, I now begin to understand all the accolades for the film.  I felt that Little Miss Sunshine was one of the most overrated films of the 2000s.  Again, a movie that was neither drama nor comedy.  It simply existed.  The best part of the film was Alan Arkin, and the rest was simply a tedious waste of a really good assembled cast.

"We're What Everyone Is Buzzing About!"

Sounds familiar.

Apparently Annette Bening and Antonio Banderas, both of whom I love to watch in the movies were in this film. 

I never made it that far.

"But This Is What You're Missing!!"

No thanks, I'll pass.

And welcome to the Top of the List for Turkey of the Year, 2014:  Ruby Sparks.

That makes 2 for the year so far.

Yikes.

I haven't even found a movie to go on the "Best of the Year" list yet!

If you want a good movie about a writer who controls the fate of their character,  watch Stranger Than Fiction instead.

"It is Your Destiny..."

Please.

I'm begging you.


Final Grade: F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No. Never.

Blockbuster Weekend Continues: "World War Z"

Mother Nature's a Serial Killer!

The Story:

Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) is a former United Nations...MacGyver... who has left the U.N. and is enjoying life with his wife and daughters.  Unfortunately, some virus is spreading around the world, and once infected, 12 seconds later, the infected have become a raging... zombie!  Gerry must attempt to save his family, and once he manages to pull that trick off, his next assignment:

Save the world!

If he doesn't, then he and his family will be kicked out of the safe haven.

So much for choices?!

Wow.  I was not expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did.

Perhaps I set the bar low going in, but I was impressed.

First, yes, the zombies are fast.  And I've gone on record as saying I hate, hate, hate, fast zombies. 

But for this film, it works.  In fact, it's the only way this film would work.  Slow and lumbering, the virus would never have spread.

Directed by Marc Forster, who helmed the "disappointing" Bond film Quantum of Solace and the highly underrated Stranger Than Fiction, he is very competent at what he does.  In fact, the gore is kept to a very minimum making World War Z one of those "family zombie flicks" that can be shared with the older kids... if they dare!  It's scary and suspenseful without worrying about the buckets of blood being tossed around the screen.

The movie made great use of the Navy for isolation from the plague.  That was very clever and well thought out.

Then of course, there's Brad Pitt.  One step below superhuman, but really, at the end of the day, this is a tale of a husband and father who will do anything to save his family.

That he's also going to attempt to save the world comes in a distant second.

I've seen and heard negative comments that this film had a lousy ending, but I'm not buying that for a second.  Something that spread globally as fast as the epidemic did cannot possibly be resolved by the end of the movie.

There's more work to be done, and that may mean sequels, with or without Pitt.

I'm fine with that.

Enjoyed the movie, and it's an action film that just happens to have zombies in it.  Worth a viewing!

Final Grade: B+/A- range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I actually would not be opposed to watching it again, or owning it.