Welcome To The Friend Zone..."Pretty In Pink"

Pretty In Pink (1986)

Rated PG-13

Starring Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Andrew McCarthy, James Spader, Annie Potts, Harry Dean Stanton,

Directed by Howard Deutch

The Story:

A girl from the wrong side of the tracks (Ringwald) is trying to get through life in high school while deciding whether or not to go to prom with Blane (McCarthy) Meanwhile, the only guy that's loved her forever (Cryer) can't get the time of day with this girl.

Confession time: This was my first time watching Pretty In Pink.

I can't even remember seeing any portion of it prior to streaming it on Amazon Prime, though I've seen the poster countless times over the intervening 30+ years since its release.

Let that soak in a moment. Over. 30. Years.

Eep!

So I don't come to this one with rose-colored glasses of nostalgia and love for the film.

And much like when I approached the venerable Say Anything a few years back, I found this one lacking.

Sorely lacking.

There was little appeal to any portion of the film for me.

From characterizations to plot points, this seemed a very slapdash effort by one of the masters of the game, John Hughes.

I would now argue that of the catalog of movies that he wrote and I have watched, this is likely my least favorite.

It's a film that is never quite sure what it wants to be.

Is it a comedy? Not really, because the laughs, if any, are very few and really far between.

So it's a teen romance.  Again...not so much.

Mostly several characters all have the hots for Andie, with no real explanation for why, minus Duckie's lifelong obsession with the girl. Steff  (Spader), who when he shows up onscreen at all, seems to be doing so in a drunken stupor, just wants to sleep with her, and then turns on his friend when it looks like Blane will succeed where he fell short.

There's no real explanation for why Blane suddenly feels the urge to be with Andie. Yet there he is with his creepy stalker smile, almost relentless in his pursuit. Yet I kept waiting for some secret reveal that he had a bet with Steff over whether he could convince her to go to prom or not.

See?

I know my 80s films and how they are supposed to work. ;)

No, this mostly seems to be about the creation of the 'Friend Zone' as more of the movie centers on Duckie's well-being and obvious obsessions with Andie than anything else.  He's stood by her side from day one, defended her, and given her whatever she's needed, and in return, he gets dumped and humiliated every step of the way.

But in the end, Duckie is the smartest of them all, because he winds up with the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson.

And that's way better than Ringwald, any day of the week.

So keep hope alive for those of you in the Friend Zone! Your Buffy is still out there!! :)

In fact, were it not for the inclusion of "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD), I would likely have given this one a D and included it on my worst films of the year roundup.

That's how amazing that song is, that I'm willing to overlook the 90 minutes of mediocrity that preceded it and let this movie have a pass.

However, it is totally mis-played during the crucial finale as much of the emotional lyrics take place before the characters even interact with one another. Then there are dancers seemingly dancing to a variety of different songs than what is playing.

Which again, sums up this film quite appropriately.

No, I'm happy for those of you that love this one and have nothing but fondness for it, but I'd like to think even if I had seen this one 30 years ago, I would have shook my head in disbelief and moved on.

Final Grade: C-

It's A Wild And Crazy World In "The Great Outdoors"

The Great Outdoors (1988)

Rated PG

Starring John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, Stephanie Faracy, Annette Bening

Directed by Howard Deutch

The Story:

Chet (Candy) is out for a family vacation with his family when Brother-in-Law Roman (Aykroyd) crashes the vacation  uninvited with his family.  Tensions rise, tempers flare and families clash living together under one roof.  However, at the end of it all, family is family...
and you can't legally kill them.

A little charmer from writer John Hughes that didn't strike the magical heights that he would enjoy with other films.  He was a year away from striking comedy gold with Candy in Uncle Buck.

This one is good, just not great.

However, there is a couple really good bits, sold perfectly by Candy and Aykroyd.

The best part is probably the water-skiing scene with Candy on skis and Aykroyd at the helm.

Candy plays the beleaguered everyman perfectly, and he works as the perfect foil to the slimy Roman perfected by Aykroyd, you'd think that this guy goes on to found a certain Tire Kingdom in another movie.

A fun stroll down memory lane if you haven't gone there in the last quarter of a century.

Man, that sounds like an awful long time...

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Cute, but not enough to own it.  A nice one to pull out every decade or so.

The Party You Always Wanted To Avoid... "Project X"

Project X (2012)

Rated R for language and crudity

Starring Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Johnathan Brown, Dax Flame, Kirby Blanton

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh

The Story:

3 High school students (Mann, Cooper and Brown) are going to throw a birthday party and change their fortunes.  Their other friend (Flame) records the entire proceedings like a documentary.  The party is going to get out of control, and at the end of the night, the boys will indeed be changed forever, and their status of party animals will be the stuff of legend.

Welcome to John Hughes meets Found Footage!

This is the tale of a party that quickly spirals out of control into excessive chaos.

Following the majority of the movie through the lens of their pal, plus newscasts and other phone videos, it's not a badly created found film style movie.

In other words, there's a lot less "shaky cam" than normal, and for that, I was thankful.

The movie has a very slow beginning, but enough glimmer that something fun(ny) could happen, I soldiered on.

There were some rather amusing parts throughout as the party unfolded, but ultimately, I fear that we've forever tipped the balance of a smart comedy, a la John Hughes, to the reality TV generation/found footage "everyone can make a movie" if they have a camera.

A little more skill and substance to the production please, and you could have come up with something to save this tired genre.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was more than enough for this one.

It's A Long Way Down, The Holiday Road..." National Lampoon's Vacation"

National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

Rated R for language and brief nudity

Starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Anthony Michael Hall, Dana Barron

Directed by Harold Ramis

The Story:

Clark Griswold (Chase) is set to take his family from Chicago halfway across country to Wally World, the family amusement park of choice!  Instead of flying, they plan on taking a road trip across country.

What could possibly go wrong?

It's been over 30 years since we first met the Griswold family, and they live out the American Dream, turned horrific nightmare that plagues the back of the mind of every dad who prepares for a road trip with their family.

Written by John Hughes, and directed by Harold Ramis, this comedy classic has endured for generations and is only overshadowed by the ever-popular Christmas Vacation due to the seasonal nature of that one enjoying repeated holiday viewings and becoming a family tradition for most people around Christmas time.

The original though is no slouch.

Between laugh out loud jokes, gags and pratfalls, Vacation has it all.

Anchored by arguably Chevy Chase's finest performance, he plays the perfect father who sets the bar way too high, and then slowly erupts when he can no longer even get close to clearing the bar.

D'Angelo is the perfect foil who tries to keep her manic husband in check along the way.

Then of course, the memorable minor characters who litter the landscape along the road trip.  From the crazy Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) to the elusive Girl in the Ferrari (Christie Brinkley), the story is chock full of characterization for even the smallest of cameos.

Filled with memorable characters and quotable dialogue, this is one of those comedies that has endured.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I do own it, and while it doesn't get the multiple viewings per year of the Holiday version, it averages a viewing every year or two.

Easily The Worst Movie of 2014...So Far... "Ruby Sparks"

Ruby Sparks (2012)
Rated R for Language, and possibly making me want to kill myself instead of watching the film...

Starring Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan,  Elliot Gould, Steve Coogan

Directed by Johnathan Dayton & Valerie Faris

Now I need therapy...

The Story:

According the to the internet, this movie was supposed to be about a novelist (Dano) who creates a girl named Ruby Sparks (Kazan) who mysteriously and magically comes to life with all of the attributes that he said she would have. 

Yes, it's Weird Science remade!

The Best Part of the Review: You Now Have the "Weird Science Song Stuck in Your Head! : )

Except...

It wasn't funny.

John Hughes was not involved in any way.

And after 15 minutes that felt like 45 minutes of torture, it was turned off, thrown back into the Netflix envelope and sent back to Netflix HQ.

Looking at overall reviews for this film, apparently I'm the one that doesn't get the awesomeness of this movie.

I'm okay with that.

Watching Dano go through therapy with Elliot Gould and whining about not knowing what to write next to his agent, Steve Coogan, I had enough.

This was a waste of talent on a hackneyed script that lost any goodwill with the premise by being...

Boring.

"Can We Look Now? Is He Done Bashing Our Movie?"

It's marketed as a comedy.  It wasn't funny.

It's marketed as a drama.  It wasn't dramtic.

It wasn't a dramedy.

It. Was. Boring.

ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzz.

"I Can't Believe He Doesn't Like Us!!"

Written by Kazan, the script is tedious at best from the time it starts until I clicked it off.  If it had a better ending, hooray, but nothing could beat my ending of removing the film.

Directed by the team that brought us Little Miss Sunshine, I now begin to understand all the accolades for the film.  I felt that Little Miss Sunshine was one of the most overrated films of the 2000s.  Again, a movie that was neither drama nor comedy.  It simply existed.  The best part of the film was Alan Arkin, and the rest was simply a tedious waste of a really good assembled cast.

"We're What Everyone Is Buzzing About!"

Sounds familiar.

Apparently Annette Bening and Antonio Banderas, both of whom I love to watch in the movies were in this film. 

I never made it that far.

"But This Is What You're Missing!!"

No thanks, I'll pass.

And welcome to the Top of the List for Turkey of the Year, 2014:  Ruby Sparks.

That makes 2 for the year so far.

Yikes.

I haven't even found a movie to go on the "Best of the Year" list yet!

If you want a good movie about a writer who controls the fate of their character,  watch Stranger Than Fiction instead.

"It is Your Destiny..."

Please.

I'm begging you.


Final Grade: F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No. Never.

The Twelve Reviews of Christmas...Day Ten: "Christmas Vacation"

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

The Story:

Clark (Chevy Chase) and Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo) Griswold are back, along with their kids Rusty 3.0 (Johnny Galecki) and Audrey (Juliette Lewis).  This time, they are staying at home and getting the house ready for the in-laws to visit!  It's going to be the best Christmas.... Ever!!!

The Griswolds exist to remind you that no matter how bad  your vacations are, things could always be worse!

The third, and best, of the series returns with John Hughes pulling out all the stops for a Christmas classic, helmed by first time director Jeremiah Chechik.  It was all downhill for him after this film, but what a promising start to a career!

However, for the most part, the movie runs solely on the wonderful gags and dialogue that John Hughes developed for his cast, led by the perfectly cast Chase as the patriarch of the family.

I'm not here to argue on Chase's behalf as an actor, but for those that fail to find him funny or insist he's never done any good work, I'll simply say you're wrong, here's proof, and move along.

He is the beleaguered "everyman dad" that eventually some form of torture befalls to make the worst plans come to life.

Thankfully, it's Clark who takes the brunt of what goes wrong and provides the rest of us with a blueprint on how to avoid making the same mistakes.

Randy Quaid returns as the creepy cousin Eddie, and is simply outstanding in his performance.  Chase and Quaid have a perfect back and forth relationship throughout the movie that is just hysterical to watch their delivery, along with the funny lines.

It's not Christmas time until this movie plays, and it's one of a few Christmas movies that is not only allowed to play more than once during the holiday season...

It's encouraged!

If you don't already own a copy, it's also currently streaming on Netflix through the holidays!

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Owned it, wearing it out... the kids upgraded the house to a blu ray copy last Christmas!  They love me!! Or the movie... : /

: )

Nobody Spends The Holidays Alone..."Unaccompanied Minors"

Nobody deserves to spend Christmas stuck in an airport.

Nobody.

 

The Story:

5 "Unaccompanied Minors" are snowed in at an airport on their way home for Christmas.  They sneak away from the room where all of the others are being held, and so the adventure begins!  They must outwit and outsmart the airport security and the airport director (Lewis Black) once they discover that all of the other minors, including one little sister, are back safely at the hotel.

An unconventional Christmas movie that owes quite a bit to Home Alone and the John Hughes school of storytelling.

That's a good thing.

The movie also shows the importance of family, especially during the holidays.  Plus, that those families may not always be traditional, and sometimes you might have to make your own family along the way.

Directed by Paul Feig, this is my favorite movie that he's directed.  As I've mentioned, I was underwhelmed with Bridesmaids and The Heat, but I think that has more to do with the scripts than with the director.

The 5 kids are all really good actors that I've seen pop up in a few other things in the years that have passed. 

The name stars of the movie, Lewis Black plays an excellent villain for the movie.  He's exasperated and evil, but like all good Scrooges, he's got a heart buried under the cold exterior.

Joining him as his right hand man is Wilmer Valderrama who gets beaten up for a bit before realizing that following orders is not in his best interest.

Finally, the always reliable Rob Corddry is hilarious as the parent of two of the children.  He drives to the airport to save his kids, and is hilarious in all of his scenes.

Released in 2006, I didn't get around to seeing this one until 2 or 3 years ago.  Searching Netflix for Christmas movies that we hadn't seen yet, this came and was an instant hit with the family. 

I found a copy for sale, and the rest is history.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Already own it, and it gets watched at least once during the holidays... and sometimes outside of the holiday season!

Excited for Today's Review? I Know, I "Can't Hardly Wait", Either!!

Every generation needs it's party...

The Story:

Graduation has come, and tonight, the seniors are going to party.  Will Preston (Ethan Embry) finally be able to tell the girl of his dreams (Jennifer Love Hewitt) that he loves her? What happens when Denise (Lauren Ambrose) and Kenny (Seth Green)  get locked in a bathroom together all night?  All of this and more await at the senior party.

Yes, I know, you can't hardly wait!

I had never seen this one before, so apparently I missed out on the 90s ode to High School.

I suppose that American Pie may have overshadowed it, though that seems to be the 2000s answer to the High School film for a generation.

Makes me long for the innocent days of John Hughes tackling life in the 80s.

: )

But I digress...

This film is amusing and odd at times, as they just throw stuff out there and hope some of it sticks.  Much of the high school clichés are played out throughout the party that spoke to the generation that saw it in theaters.

I assume.  : /

So for them, it's their Fast Times, Ferris Bueller or the Breakfast Club.

For me, it was more fun seeing who the background characters were that shot to fame after their appearance in this movie, and pretty much eclipsed any/all of the main stars of the film.

That said, it wasn't a waste of my time, and I enjoyed pretty much the whole thing.  No complaints.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No hurry to do either again, but not a bad film.  The more sentimental it is to you, the more you'll enjoy this one.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time...That I Own. # 12 ~ Christmas Vacation

 Sorry Harold Ramis, but this is the best of the Vacation series.

Written by John Hughes, I told you, he wrote a lot of great stuff, it's perhaps the best take on a family Christmas ever put to screen.

Just with the Griswold's, you have to crank everything up to 11...or higher.

The story:  Clark and Ellen Griswold (Chevy Chase & Beverly D'Angelo) are set to have a very Merry Christmas...unfortunately, both sets of parents are coming to stay for the holidays.  If that wasn't bad enough, Cousin Eddie and his brood show up on their doorstep.  Luckily for Clark, he maintains his holiday cheer because he knows, that his annual Christmas bonus will show up on his door at any moment.

Okay, if typing up yesterday's review for Scrooged started to get me into the Christmas Spirit, then Christmas Vacation puts me over the top.  It's time to skip the Halloween decorations and go straight for the tree, and wonder why eggnog is not carried year round in stores?

The de-aging of Russ and Audrey is hilarious, because they simply do it, and accept it, so the audience goes right along with them.  They don't try and do a prequel or explain anything.  They just make the change, and run with it.   

Chase is at his best as Clark Griswold.  He's been criticized for his entire career for not being funny, a good actor, a pain in the butt off-camera...

Well, I don't care.  Chevy Chase plays Clark to the hilt.  He is a master of comic timing and reactions.  His insults to Cousin Eddie, barely audible, are nothing that every single one of us has done at some point in time to some clod that has irritated us.

In short, Clark Griswold is the father every dad tries to be....and not be...at the same time.

: )

Sadly, Clark simply tries so hard, that when the obvious setback occurs, the pendulum has to swing so far in the other direction, and that is the source of much of the comedy.

He epitomizes the phrase "when it rains, it pours" or "Murphy's Law". 

A dinner can't simply be ruined... the Christmas tree has to go up in flames...and then more bad things begin to pile up.

In short, it's real life, but it's funny because it's not YOUR life.

And it leads to one of the greatest outbursts/meltdowns of any character, in any movie, Christmas or otherwise.

Nope, it's just not Christmas without seeing this one a few times before the big day.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time...That I Own. # 22 ~ Uncle Buck

Welcome to the list, John Hughes.

The man wrote a mountain of movies, one of which is still to come on the countdown.

However, he only directed 8 movies in his career.

That said, he was probably "THE" Director for 80s movies that helped define our generation growing up:

Sixteen Candles
The Breakfast Club
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

That's the Holy Trinity of 80s High School Films if you think about it.  Add Weird Science in there, and half of his resume consists of life in school.

The remaining movies are all pretty good, but Uncle Buck is my favorite of his directorial work.

For those that haven't seen it, here goes:

The Russell family is dysfunctional at best.  When the wife's father has a heart attack, the parents need to leave for an undisclosed amount of time, but who will watch over their 3 children?

For an inconvenience like that, you have to call family.  Cue: Uncle Buck!

Buck makes underachieving an art form.  But perhaps some time together with the kids can change both the children and Buck into better people.

It is, after all, a film written by John Hughes.  You know a happy ending is on the way, but it won't be easy getting there.

We saw this one in 1989 when it was released in theaters.  In fact, my honey and I were the only ones in the theater when it came out.

You know the movie has to be pretty good when a teenage boy is alone in a theater with a girl, and actually watches the movie.

: )

Nearly 25 years later, we're still watching it, and now sharing it with our kids.

Scripted by Hughes, you know it's oft-quoted in our house when a situation arises that's worthy of Uncle Buck.

Heck, anytime we see a "smoking car" driving down the road, someone will shout out "there goes Uncle Buck".

More fun than "Slug Bug!" I tell you!

John Hughes writing alone though cannot sell a movie unless he's got a great actor in the lead role.  In John Candy, he found Uncle Buck and gave him the role of a lifetime.  Sure, he's a bit of an underachiever, but he really means well.  He's nice as can be, but don't cross him (or his family) or watch out!

It was the first acting roles for the kids in the house as Gaby Hoffman (Maisy) who has already been on the Countdown (Field of Dreams) and Jean Louisa Kelly (Tia)  as Buck's arch-nemesis who was also in Mr. Holland's Opus.

Plus, while not the first role for him, I would say that this is the movie that was a breakout for Macaulay Culkin.  He of course would move on to huge success with the Home Alone franchise, but here he was cute as a button playing opposite John Candy.

If you haven't seen it (or it's been a few years) move it up your queue and enjoy!