Easily The Worst Movie of 2014...So Far... "Ruby Sparks"

Ruby Sparks (2012)
Rated R for Language, and possibly making me want to kill myself instead of watching the film...

Starring Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan,  Elliot Gould, Steve Coogan

Directed by Johnathan Dayton & Valerie Faris

Now I need therapy...

The Story:

According the to the internet, this movie was supposed to be about a novelist (Dano) who creates a girl named Ruby Sparks (Kazan) who mysteriously and magically comes to life with all of the attributes that he said she would have. 

Yes, it's Weird Science remade!

The Best Part of the Review: You Now Have the "Weird Science Song Stuck in Your Head! : )

Except...

It wasn't funny.

John Hughes was not involved in any way.

And after 15 minutes that felt like 45 minutes of torture, it was turned off, thrown back into the Netflix envelope and sent back to Netflix HQ.

Looking at overall reviews for this film, apparently I'm the one that doesn't get the awesomeness of this movie.

I'm okay with that.

Watching Dano go through therapy with Elliot Gould and whining about not knowing what to write next to his agent, Steve Coogan, I had enough.

This was a waste of talent on a hackneyed script that lost any goodwill with the premise by being...

Boring.

"Can We Look Now? Is He Done Bashing Our Movie?"

It's marketed as a comedy.  It wasn't funny.

It's marketed as a drama.  It wasn't dramtic.

It wasn't a dramedy.

It. Was. Boring.

ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzz.

"I Can't Believe He Doesn't Like Us!!"

Written by Kazan, the script is tedious at best from the time it starts until I clicked it off.  If it had a better ending, hooray, but nothing could beat my ending of removing the film.

Directed by the team that brought us Little Miss Sunshine, I now begin to understand all the accolades for the film.  I felt that Little Miss Sunshine was one of the most overrated films of the 2000s.  Again, a movie that was neither drama nor comedy.  It simply existed.  The best part of the film was Alan Arkin, and the rest was simply a tedious waste of a really good assembled cast.

"We're What Everyone Is Buzzing About!"

Sounds familiar.

Apparently Annette Bening and Antonio Banderas, both of whom I love to watch in the movies were in this film. 

I never made it that far.

"But This Is What You're Missing!!"

No thanks, I'll pass.

And welcome to the Top of the List for Turkey of the Year, 2014:  Ruby Sparks.

That makes 2 for the year so far.

Yikes.

I haven't even found a movie to go on the "Best of the Year" list yet!

If you want a good movie about a writer who controls the fate of their character,  watch Stranger Than Fiction instead.

"It is Your Destiny..."

Please.

I'm begging you.


Final Grade: F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No. Never.