Easily The Worst Movie of 2014...So Far... "Ruby Sparks"

Ruby Sparks (2012)
Rated R for Language, and possibly making me want to kill myself instead of watching the film...

Starring Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan,  Elliot Gould, Steve Coogan

Directed by Johnathan Dayton & Valerie Faris

Now I need therapy...

The Story:

According the to the internet, this movie was supposed to be about a novelist (Dano) who creates a girl named Ruby Sparks (Kazan) who mysteriously and magically comes to life with all of the attributes that he said she would have. 

Yes, it's Weird Science remade!

The Best Part of the Review: You Now Have the "Weird Science Song Stuck in Your Head! : )

Except...

It wasn't funny.

John Hughes was not involved in any way.

And after 15 minutes that felt like 45 minutes of torture, it was turned off, thrown back into the Netflix envelope and sent back to Netflix HQ.

Looking at overall reviews for this film, apparently I'm the one that doesn't get the awesomeness of this movie.

I'm okay with that.

Watching Dano go through therapy with Elliot Gould and whining about not knowing what to write next to his agent, Steve Coogan, I had enough.

This was a waste of talent on a hackneyed script that lost any goodwill with the premise by being...

Boring.

"Can We Look Now? Is He Done Bashing Our Movie?"

It's marketed as a comedy.  It wasn't funny.

It's marketed as a drama.  It wasn't dramtic.

It wasn't a dramedy.

It. Was. Boring.

ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzz.

"I Can't Believe He Doesn't Like Us!!"

Written by Kazan, the script is tedious at best from the time it starts until I clicked it off.  If it had a better ending, hooray, but nothing could beat my ending of removing the film.

Directed by the team that brought us Little Miss Sunshine, I now begin to understand all the accolades for the film.  I felt that Little Miss Sunshine was one of the most overrated films of the 2000s.  Again, a movie that was neither drama nor comedy.  It simply existed.  The best part of the film was Alan Arkin, and the rest was simply a tedious waste of a really good assembled cast.

"We're What Everyone Is Buzzing About!"

Sounds familiar.

Apparently Annette Bening and Antonio Banderas, both of whom I love to watch in the movies were in this film. 

I never made it that far.

"But This Is What You're Missing!!"

No thanks, I'll pass.

And welcome to the Top of the List for Turkey of the Year, 2014:  Ruby Sparks.

That makes 2 for the year so far.

Yikes.

I haven't even found a movie to go on the "Best of the Year" list yet!

If you want a good movie about a writer who controls the fate of their character,  watch Stranger Than Fiction instead.

"It is Your Destiny..."

Please.

I'm begging you.


Final Grade: F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No. Never.

What Kind of Movie Title is "Dorfman in Love" ?

It's never too late to realize your dreams...

The Story:

Deb Dorfman (Sara Rue) is an accountant in her brother's (Johnathan Chase) firm.  Basically, she's the glue that holds the place together while he has all the fun.  Poor Deb has a huge crush on Jay (Johann Urb), a blogger who covers the plight of the world in the hopes of getting an anchor job someday.  He gets a short-notice assignment after just moving into a new apartment.  Deb offers to watch his place and his cat so he can go.  It's there that she meets the neighbor, Cookie (Haaz Sleiman) and he begins to make her question some truths that she has about her life.  Slowly Deb begins to break from the mold that everyone associates with her, especially her father (Elliot Gould).  Will Deb finally stand up for herself and go after Jay?  Or will she remain quiet about her true feelings?

Okay, first things first, it's a terrible title for a movie.  I'll give you that, right out of the gate.

Other than that though...

It's a quiet, engaging little movie starring a whole lot of people that you (most definitely me) may not have seen or heard of before.

In fact, remove Elliot Gould from the mix, and I dare you to know anyone in this film.

However, that's how some of today's stars are created.  You've got to start in something before you can go on to something else.

Sara Rue is a cross between Amy Adams and Nia Vardalos, at least in my eyes.  She does a good job of carrying almost the entire movie with her interactions with the rest of the cast.

It's encouraging to watch her slowly realize that she not only can stand up for herself and what she needs and wants, but that when she does, good things happen to her, and she feels better about herself.

Plus she learns some valuable lessons about herself and her friends along the way, and that's always a good thing.

Enjoyed it...

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: While I'm not rushing out to buy it, if it were to come on cable while flipping channels, I could sit through it again.