Welcome To The Friend Zone..."Pretty In Pink"

Pretty In Pink (1986)

Rated PG-13

Starring Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Andrew McCarthy, James Spader, Annie Potts, Harry Dean Stanton,

Directed by Howard Deutch

The Story:

A girl from the wrong side of the tracks (Ringwald) is trying to get through life in high school while deciding whether or not to go to prom with Blane (McCarthy) Meanwhile, the only guy that's loved her forever (Cryer) can't get the time of day with this girl.

Confession time: This was my first time watching Pretty In Pink.

I can't even remember seeing any portion of it prior to streaming it on Amazon Prime, though I've seen the poster countless times over the intervening 30+ years since its release.

Let that soak in a moment. Over. 30. Years.

Eep!

So I don't come to this one with rose-colored glasses of nostalgia and love for the film.

And much like when I approached the venerable Say Anything a few years back, I found this one lacking.

Sorely lacking.

There was little appeal to any portion of the film for me.

From characterizations to plot points, this seemed a very slapdash effort by one of the masters of the game, John Hughes.

I would now argue that of the catalog of movies that he wrote and I have watched, this is likely my least favorite.

It's a film that is never quite sure what it wants to be.

Is it a comedy? Not really, because the laughs, if any, are very few and really far between.

So it's a teen romance.  Again...not so much.

Mostly several characters all have the hots for Andie, with no real explanation for why, minus Duckie's lifelong obsession with the girl. Steff  (Spader), who when he shows up onscreen at all, seems to be doing so in a drunken stupor, just wants to sleep with her, and then turns on his friend when it looks like Blane will succeed where he fell short.

There's no real explanation for why Blane suddenly feels the urge to be with Andie. Yet there he is with his creepy stalker smile, almost relentless in his pursuit. Yet I kept waiting for some secret reveal that he had a bet with Steff over whether he could convince her to go to prom or not.

See?

I know my 80s films and how they are supposed to work. ;)

No, this mostly seems to be about the creation of the 'Friend Zone' as more of the movie centers on Duckie's well-being and obvious obsessions with Andie than anything else.  He's stood by her side from day one, defended her, and given her whatever she's needed, and in return, he gets dumped and humiliated every step of the way.

But in the end, Duckie is the smartest of them all, because he winds up with the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson.

And that's way better than Ringwald, any day of the week.

So keep hope alive for those of you in the Friend Zone! Your Buffy is still out there!! :)

In fact, were it not for the inclusion of "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD), I would likely have given this one a D and included it on my worst films of the year roundup.

That's how amazing that song is, that I'm willing to overlook the 90 minutes of mediocrity that preceded it and let this movie have a pass.

However, it is totally mis-played during the crucial finale as much of the emotional lyrics take place before the characters even interact with one another. Then there are dancers seemingly dancing to a variety of different songs than what is playing.

Which again, sums up this film quite appropriately.

No, I'm happy for those of you that love this one and have nothing but fondness for it, but I'd like to think even if I had seen this one 30 years ago, I would have shook my head in disbelief and moved on.

Final Grade: C-