The Weather Outside Is Frightful..."Geostorm"

Geostorm (2017)

Rated PG-13

Starring Gerard Butler, Max Sturgess, Eugenio Derbez, Andy Garcia, Ed Harris, Abbie Cornish,

Directed by Dean Devlin

The Story:

To battle climate change, the governments of the world create the Dutch Boy program. This series of satellites counteracts severe weather and keeps the Earth peaceful and stable. Until now. Suddenly the satellites are apparently causing severe weather and attacking major cities across the globe. It's up to the original project manager, Jake Lawson (Butler) to head into space and find out what's going wrong.

Oh Dean Devlin, how we've missed you!

These epic disaster movies with just enough tongue in cheek are always a blast to check your brain at the door, grab the popcorn and have a rollicking good time.

Here, Butler takes center stage and battles to find out if his programming has gone haywire or if there is a traitor in space trying to sabotage his best work.

There is political intrigue and corruption.

There is space sabotage and a series of red herrings to throw you off of who is behind the madness.

But at the end of the day, this movie isn't nearly as bad as it was made out to be.

It was fun, completely watchable, and yes, I'd even watch it again or heaven forbid even buy it if the price was right.

:)

Your mileage may vary.

Final Grade:  C+

The Things They'll Do For A Beer..."Kidnapping Mr. Heineken"

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (2015)

Rated R

Starring Jim Sturgess, Sam Worthington, Ryan Kwanten, Mark van Eeuwen, Thomas Cocquerel, Anthony Hopkins

Directed by Daniel Alfredson

The Story:

In 1982, 5 men who are down on their luck and looking to better their life decide to turn to crime to make a buck. Their objective: kidnap Freddy Heineken (Hopkins) and demand a king's ransom.

This is that story.

The problem is, the story is rather bland, all things considered.

The crew decides they have to have money to make their kidnapping look legitimate, so they rob a bank.

Then they spend that money getting everything ready for the kidnapping.

Then they kidnap Mr. Heineken.

Then they sit back and wait for the money, but it never comes.

Then panic and paranoia set in.

Now, this works with a movie like Ruthless People because they add laughs and you get to see what's happening from the point of view of the kidnappers, the police, the victim, etc.

This movie gives you the point of view of the kidnappers.

Never do we see what law enforcement is up to during the entire process.

There is basically no tension or no other narrative attempt to make you feel like the criminals are getting away with it, or are being this close to getting caught aside from whatever the kidnappers may say or do reacting to something the viewer is never really privy to.

Hopkins screen time is all too brief as he attempts to get into the heads of his kidnappers.

The kidnappers themselves are rather a bland mixed bag of talent with little to do but yell and get worried a lot.

There is a nifty story buried in the movie, but the execution only gives you part of it.

Currently streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

It Was Only "One Day", But It Felt Much Longer Than That

Well...that could have gone better.

The Story:

It's July 15th when two college graduates, Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) almost hook up.  Then, for the next 20 years, the film pops in on their lives on the 15th of July.  As their lives weave in and out between the two, they remain close friends and share their triumphs and tragedies with each other.  The two are in love, but it will take them many July 15ths to really figure that out.

What a downer.

: )

You know it starts off bad when Anne Hathaway opens her mouth and out comes a British accent.  Because, as we all know, there are no British actresses out there capable of pulling off this role.

Otherwise, the idea is rather clever.  A snapshot of 2 lives intertwined on a seemingly random date on the calendar.

However, it was disjointed enough that it just became background noise as the movie wore on.  You can see where it's going, and you just wonder how many years have to roll by for the characters to catch up to what we already know is coming.

That said, the ending did catch me a bit off guard, but by that point, it was too little, too late.

If anything, it is a cautionary tale about not living your life to the fullest, because you never know how many "One Days" you will receive.

Final Grade: C-.. perhaps that is too generous... D+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Too slow (even at 1.5x!) and plodding for me, I'll pass.