Everything Is Bigger In Texas...Even The Body Counts. "Texas Chainsaw"

Texas Chainsaw (3D) (2013)
Rated R for language, gore, violence, gore, chainsaws and gore

Starring: Heather Daddario, Dan Yeager

Directed by John Luessenhop

The Story:

In 1974, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released and shocked audiences with Leatherface and his cannibalistic clan.  This is the sequel.  Forget all other iterations labeled Texas Chainsaw that came between then and now.  So after the events of that film, the townsfolk have arrived and burn down the house and kill everyone inside.

Except a little baby girl who was raised by a less than loving couple.

Years have passed, and the girl, Heather (Daddario) receives word that her great grandmother has passed and has left her estate to Heather, the last of the Sawyer bloodline.

So Heather and a few friends head to Texas to claim their prize, but it turns out, had Heather read the letter, she'd realize that there was one more cousin still alive...

Okay, I admit, I had to look up the movie history of this franchise, as I have seen apparently every other-ish release in this series.

From what I gathered, this picks up after the original movie, but would take place around the time of the 2003 remake, so hey, you've got me.  I get the Jason or Freddy timeline, but Leatherface has me stumped.

The original film, well by the time I saw it, it was the late 80s and I was already spoiled on Friday the 13th, Halloween and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.  By the time I got around to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre?

Yawn.

So boring...so not scary.

Thankfully, when this movie starts, they attempt to relive the precious few scary moments of that film and then hit the ground running. 

I thought it seemed awfully familiar! :)

Knock Knock...I Mean... Bzzzz Bzzzzz

Not seeing it in 3D, I don't think I missed out on much.  A few blood splatters and things coming directly at the screen aside, I don't think it enhanced the overall viewing experience.

Now, I will admit it's been a few years since I took Biology, but I also don't think you can have a thick blood trail that drags for literally miles.

Also, not a whole lot of tension or build, just a lot of BOO jumping out of the shadows and a kill.

Been there... done that.

A lot.

There was a nice twist on the family relationship at the end of the film, as well as a sense of who was really more evil, the townsfolk or Leatherface's family?

If you do watch, fast forward to the end of the credits for a pretty amusing postscript scene that brings Heather's story full-circle.

:)

Final Grade: C+

Would I Watch It Again or Buy It? No to both questions.  I'm sure I'll see the next sequel, or at my rate, the one after that, but this one didn't strike any chords with me that said "gotta have it!".