Voltron Was Busy That Weekend... "Pacific Rim"

What if Godzilla and a Transformer had a baby?

The Story:

In the future, a portal opens in the depths of the ocean, and giant monsters begin coming to Earth.  So destructive, the world throws out their petty differences and works as one to create giant robots that 2 pilots will navigate into battle to defend the world against the marauding hordes.  Ah, but the times are a changing, and the robots are being de-commissioned in favor of a protective wall.

But when the wall fails, can the remaining robots and pilots save the world before it's too late?

Easily the best movie of the Transformers franchise.

A shame that it had nothing to do with the Transformers franchise.

The fight scenes and special effects are great.  The scenes, even those taking place at night in, around and underwater are all clear and laid out very well.

Transformers should take notes.

Idris Elba gives a great performance as the leader of the program.

Everything else though, it's just a long...really long... exercise that simply takes about 45 minutes too long to tell.

Pretty to look at, but nothing of substance.

Wait, was this a movie or a supermodel?

If that's how you like 'em, you'll love this one.

I was simply whelmed.  Neither over, nor under.

Final Grade: C... maybe C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: My kids liked it more than I did.  Like I said, nothing terrible, but nothing I'm going out of my way to watch again.

Black Friday Is The Perfect Day To Announce A "Holiday Engagement"

Haven't I seen this before?

The Story:

Hillary (Bonnie Somerville) longs for the approval of her parents (Shelly Long and Sam McMurray).  Now she is engaged to Jason (Chris McKenna), a successful lawyer and they are planning to head to her family for the long Thanksgiving weekend.  But when Jason gets a promotion that would require him to move, Hillary is less than thrilled, so Jason opts for career over love.  Now desperate, Hillary puts an ad on a dating site for  someone to pretend to be her boyfriend for the weekend.  Enter David (Jordan Bridges) a struggling actor who just might fit the bill.

My Fake Fiance.
Holiday in Handcuffs.
Holiday Engagement.

Welcome to the wonderful world of mistaken identity romantic comedies!  This one was offered up by the Hallmark Channel back in 2011.

To ring in the holiday season, let's start with Thanksgiving, which is different than Christmas, and provides a nice bookend to holiday viewing.

I'm always a fan of starting early, which is why you've seen reviews for holiday themed movies/specials appear sporadically throughout the year.   And I'm not done yet!

: )

It's nice to see that Shelley Long is still acting, I haven't seen her in ages.

The rest of the cast are mostly newcomers, at least for me, but everyone does a fine job playing their roles.

It's a very comfortable film, you feel like you've seen it before even on the first viewing, and it just becomes more ingrained on you with repeated viewings.

It's like enjoying a cup of cocoa on a chilly day. 

It never really gets old.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing, whenever you are ready to kick off your holiday viewing celebration!

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I won't be rushing out to buy it, but I could see giving it a whirl to kick off the holidays in future holiday seasons.

The Top 10 Turkeys of 2013

And the Golden Raisinets Go To...

Time to put the year 2013 in the record books, at least as far as the "Worst Movies of the Year" go.

For you see, it is time once again to spend Thanksgiving with you all, as we prepare to indulge in turkey, by running down memory lane for those movies that were just absolutely abysmal this year.

Now, for those that have been on this site since last year, you might remember that only 5 movies hit the list.

This year, I was not nearly as generous.

From Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving is the calendar I use to see if a movie is truly a turkey or not.  Best movies still have another month to squeeze in under the wire.

But starting tomorrow, it's a whole new game for the losers of cinematic appeal.

That said, of the hundreds of movies and shows I watched this year, only 23 wound up in the running by scoring a D+ or worse on the scale.  Conversely, there are, as of this writing, no fewer than 45 movies vying to make the Best of the Best list by scoring a B+ or higher.

That's right, it just seems like I give a lot of movies high grades, but the majority of the year, most movies get the C/B range from me.

I could be harsher.  I could be more lenient.

But I like my grading scale, it works for me!

Most of the movies on this list were not the budget movies that didn't entertain me, that would be too easy.  Most of these had a budget, and yet somehow they forgot to spend any of it on entertainment value.

Tsk tsk.

So I've rambled enough, let's get right down to it!

On with the countdown!

# 10 - Frankenweenie

I think I made my stance on this one perfectly clear earlier this year:  I don't like/get Tim Burton.  I hate his animated/claymation style.  But I wanted to give it a chance.  It was not for me, and when I look around and none of my kids are paying attention, I know this can't be any good.  30 minutes.... turned off!

 # 9 - New York, I Love You

I barely remember any of this multi-actor, multi-director ode to New York.  I can't believe I made it 28 minutes before turning it off.  However that fares only slightly better than the next film on the list.

# 8 - Playing for Keeps

To be honest, I had to look this movie up to even see what it was about.  That can't be a good sign, can it?!  Oh yeah, this is the soccer dad trying to coach his kid's team, and all the soccer moms wanting to get in his pants... zzzzz....  Thankfully, Gerard Butler rebounded with Olympus Has Fallen and I can forget this snoozefest.







# 7 - The Great Gatsby

It sure looked pretty.  20 minutes in, I was bored, and was either playing a game, writing a review, or possibly sleeping with my eyes open.  If DiCaprio had a field day in the role, I'll never see it.  I couldn't get past Tobey's boring prologue to the story.

# 6 - After Earth

To give Will Smith's futuristic travesty some perspective, it was the only movie on this list that I actually watched all the way through.  Granted, over half of that was sped up at 1.5x on the PS3... and I think we even skipped a chapter altogether.  Either way, it still felt like 8 hours of my life I'll never get back.

# 5 - V/H/S

Probably the lowest budget of all the losers this year, you just don't make a scary movie, without making it scary.  Give the audience the hook and reason to stick around or you'll lose them.  Some, as early (or late) as the 18 minute mark.

# 4 - Rock of Ages

Even Tom Cruise couldn't save this musical 80s retrospective.  And this coming from a guy that doesn't mind musicals!  It just felt like they violated the very structure of the musical by singing too much, and advancing the plot too little.  20 minutes later, it was out of the player.

# 3 - MacGruber -

This unfunny SNL skit brought to life made it a whopping 20 minutes into the story before I give up.  This comes from someone who has never previously turned off any movie based on an SNL skit, or turned off many movies starring former SNL cast members.

# 2 - Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Oh, this was so painfully unfunny.  Also undramatic.  Not sure what genre they were shooting for, but for this viewer, they missed on all fronts and just released a painful to sit through experience.  Like root canal, by way of DVD.  Incredible waste of talent.

# 1 - Spring Breakers

The winner of the losers... Right here!  9 minutes in, and I had to turn this sleaze off.
And take a shower.  What a dreadful movie this was.  I understand the Mouseketeers wanting to grow up and take on non-Disney roles, but ladies, this isn't the way to do it.


So there you have it.

The clock is being reset, and there's 364 more days to discover what the worst movies of 2014 are.

Here's hoping I don't find any...

But I doubt I'll be that lucky!

:)


Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families!

Here's a Movie to be Thankful For... "Independence Day"

E.T. phoned home...and brought back reinforcements!

The Story:

Just days before the 4th of July, communications begin becoming disrupted across the globe as alien spacecraft descend around the globe.  What do these aliens want?  Do they come in peace?  Or are they here for more serious reasons?

How can you not like this movie?

Yet, like almost all of the Michael Bay productions, this one gets glossed over as fluff and frivolity...

But that's the point!

This is a summer blockbuster, popcorn, check your brain at the door and just have fun movie.

An all-star cast tackles their pieces of the puzzle until they are all (or at least the ones that survive) united for the final act against the aliens.

You have the scientist (Jeff Goldblum) who warns the President (Bill Pullman) about the real threat and manages to evacuate the White House minutes before destruction.

Then Marine Captain Hiller (Will Smith) who flies fighter jets but dreams of becoming an astronaut.

Plus, you can't forget crazed vet, possible alien abductee Russell (Randy Quaid) who will ultimately figure out how to stop the alien invasion.

Aside from a few shots that are slightly unbelievable, this is epic disaster that would make Irwin Allen tear up with pride.

Roland Emmerich and his writing partner Dean Devlin throw everything they've got into this one, and the movie just clips along at a great pace.

There are rarely any dull moments, it's quick plot devices that propel the storyline forward through dialogue and circumstance.

While Will Smith was considered the star, Bill Pullman gave the movie it's heart, and Jeff Goldblum gave the movie its humor in possibly my favorite role in the movie.

It's also unabashedly a flag-raising jingoistic American piece of propaganda.

So yes, it's an awesome movie.

Going on 20 years old, it's still a pretty fun ride.

I hear rumors of a sequel...

Will Smith should take a cue from the audience enjoyment from this one versus After Earth and sign up.

It was fun, and we'd come back for more!

Final Grade: B+...A-...take your pick!

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: This is the first time I've watched it in about a decade.  I forgot how fun it was.  I won't make that mistake again.

Someone's Been Very, Very Naughty..."The To Do List"

What's a girl to do?

Oh my!

The Story:

Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza) is the uptight valedictorian of her class (of '93).  However, as she prepares for a summer of work and college in the fall, she feels pressured by her friends and older sister to...
Well, stop being a virgin.

Soooo....

Brandy makes a list of things she thinks she needs to accomplish before the fall, and then sets out to accomplish her naughty "to do" list, with anyone she can "to do it" with!

Well, that was unexpected!

I'm still not sure how to approach this rated R (with good reason) coming of age comedy.

It's like a female version of American Pie, but less virgins trying to end their suffering.

Instead, it's all Brandy trying to learn all the ways of being a woman, even many ways that her sluttier friends and sister haven't tried yet.

With her job at the local pool working for Willy (Bill Hader), Brandy is the subject of hazing as the noob, but she's got her eye on the last item on her list: Rusty Waters (Scott Porter).  She'll use her friend Cameron (Johnny Simmons) and anyone else to gain the experience she thinks she's lacking.

However, along the way she's going to realize that sex without feelings isn't as great as everyone made it out to be.

Used briefly, but effectively, Clark Gregg as Brandy's dad.  He's hilarious in what he doesn't want to see happen to his daughters.  He literally squirms with discomfort in nearly every scene.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably not, at least for a few years.  It's funny enough though.

"Grabbers" Failed to Grab My Attention

Drunk Irish Fun?

Not quite...

The Story:

A small community on an Irish coastal island is ground zero for an alien invasion.  Apparently, the only way that the humans are not targeted by the aliens...

They have to get blind, stinking drunk.

Shouldn't be a problem, right?

Ah, but therein lies the problem.

This is another movie that I let it run for 22 minutes waiting for something to happen.

Anything.

There was a periodic monster sighting or kill...

But it was so....slow....

zzzzzzzzz

I think this was supposed to be a horror comedy.

However, it was neither scary, nor funny.

Two terrible strikes against a movie of this genre.

You're welcome to give it a whirl on Netflix if you'd like, as it is streaming.

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not interested in finding out what happened after I turned it off.

Streaming TV Weekend: "The Walking Dead: Pilot Episode"

You don't look so good...

The Story:

Deputy Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) is shot and falls into a coma while on duty.  When he awakes, it appears as if he is the last person alive on Earth.  He struggles to return home to find that there are zombies everywhere, and his wife and son are missing.  Assisted by other survivors, Rick arms up and heads to Atlanta to find his family.

Well, that was something.

:)

I have not read the comics, and until now, I had never seen the show.

I have watched the pilot episode only, and I have to say...

Not bad.

I've heard from many that the show gets better...  and that there's a lot of slow pacing to the show.

Well, I have to say I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Helmed by Frank Darabont, probably the finest unheralded director of any generation, the show plays like a good suspense movie.

While I won't be joining the rest of you on Sundays to catch new episodes, I will slowly catch up on Netflix.

Now available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Too soon to call, but I doubt I would need to buy this.

Streaming TV Weekend: "Cheers"

Norm!

The Story:

Welcome to Boston, home of Cheers, the bar where everybody knows your name.  The owner is Sam Malone (Ted Danson) ex-ballplayer, former alcoholic and noted womanizer.  The rest of his staff includes Carla (Rhea Perlman) and Coach (Nicholas Colasanto).  Norm (George Wendt) is the bar regular that everyone calls out to when he comes through the door.  There's also a know-it-all mailman (John Ratzenberger) lurking around as well.

In the first episode, Diane (Shelley Long) comes to the bar about to be married, but her man needs to obtain the ring from his ex wife.

You can imagine that it doesn't end well for her.

And there you have the set up that would last for almost 5 years.

Starting in 1982, this 30+ year old NBC comedy series is still hilarious.

Created and written by the trio of James Burrows, Glen and Les Charles, whoever thought a show about a bar would be one of the better sitcoms in television history?

Having not seen the original episode since it probably aired in '82, it was a crazy trip on the way-back machine when I was surfing for something to watch.

It still holds up, it's still funny and doesn't appear to have suffered with age.

All good things, especially when dealing with sitcoms.

I have said before that I preferred the seasons after Diane left the show, but Cheers made the most out of the on-again/off-again romantic tension between Sam and Diane.  Unlike Moonlighting, the show didn't lose its steam by pairing up the two in later years.

The sweet reminder was just how funny Coach was.  It was sad when he passed away, but Cheers did great by casting Woody Harrelson to step in as the dimwit of the bar.

The show is still great, and if it's been some time since you've watched, now is a great time to revisit some old friends.

And if you've never seen it before, you're in for a treat!

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I doubt I'll ever buy the 11 seasons, but it's nice to know that I can stream it at any point if I have time but don't want to go for a movie to have a pretty good sitcom on standby at a moment's notice.

The Title is the Best Part of the Movie..."Dealin' With Idiots"

Quite possibly my least favorite baseball movie of all time...

The Story:

Max (Jeff Garlin) is a comedian and a father who watches in horror as his son's youth baseball team flounders on the field, and the parents drive him batty in the stands.  Then he realizes that he could do a documentary on youth baseball for his next movie, and it's sure to be a comic hit!

If only...

This is a comedy with a shotgun approach.

For every joke that hits, 7 sail by and are either mildly amusing or miss completely.

Which is sad, because there's a pretty talented cast hiding amongst the players including Jami Gertz, Gina Gershon, Nia Vardalos, Timothy Olyphant and Fred Willard.

Garlin pulls triple duty as star, writer and director.

I give him credit for putting together a movie that isn't a complete waste of time, and I wanted to like it.

However, it just sort of stutters and jerks along from quirky scene to quirky scene as Max attempts to find the source for his next big hit by interviewing each of these parents.

The finale to the baseball game itself is both amusing and heartbreaking at the same time.  Pee Wee baseball has some strange rules, and I wouldn't doubt that the one that is invoked is indeed a real rule.  However after the realization,  then the movie didn't seem to know how to end.  It just sort of rambles on and on,  so anything touching that that could be gathered from that moment is lost

Ultimately, disappointed in the movie.

Now available to stream instantly on Netflix if you'd like to try it.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No thanks. ;)
in the foolishness of what happens next.

Spice Things Up With..."The Heat"

If you can't stand The Heat...

Well, I don't know if "can't stand" is the right choice of words.

The Story:

FBI Agent Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is an uptight, by the book agent that none of her fellow agents really like.  She's bucking for a promotion, and needs to head to Boston to catch the latest suspect that could put her at the top of the list.  There she meets a detective (Melissa McCarthy) who's a foul-mouthed, uses a book to beat the suspect instead.  Needless to say the two don't get along from the start, but they must work together if they want to solve the case and stay alive.

Hilarity ensues.

How much, is totally dependent on the individual.

So, here I come to stomp over another favorite comedy of 2013.

:)

It was a box office success, and people raved about how awesomely funny it was.

Meh.

There were some genuinely hilarious moments/bits of dialogue throughout the movie.

The rest... it was incredibly average.

Sandra Bullock took her Miss Congeniality FBI agent, stripped it of a personality, and voila!  She's the straight man to the bumbling McCarthy.

Got it.

This is the second straight box office success for McCarthy that I really didn't care for (Identity Thief).

And again, most of the laughs are generated by her performance, but otherwise, I guess I'm finding her to be a one-trick pony?

Kudos to the effort to bring a 2 female lead to the buddy cop action comedy, and I'm pretty sure there will be a sequel being greenlit as we speak.

And sure, I'll probably watch it as well.

I'll be hoping it's better than this one though.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again if I had to do it.  Won't likely find myself in that situation though. ;)

Wait, This Doesn't Star Jackie Chan? "Shanghai Calling"

I don't even speak Chinese...

The Story:

Sam (Daniel Henney) is a lawyer who just closed a multi-million dollar case for his law firm.  Expecting to be made partner, imagine his surprise when the firm wants him to relocate to Shanghai to make some other prominent clients very happy.  Why?  Well, it seems Sam is of Chinese descent, though he can't speak or read a lick of Chinese.  When he arrives, naturally his case goes to pieces immediately and his career is in jeopardy.  With the help of a few friends he's made, can Sam save his career, all while he's also falling in love?

Yes, another unconventional romantic comedy, or at least that's how it's listed in Netflix.  It's not really, it's mostly a comedy.

The romantic subplot takes the backseat to Sam trying to solve a business deal that has gone sour quickly and threatens his shot at making partner.

In the end, Sam must decide what is best for him, and that may not be the same as what is best for his company.

It's a cute, quirky little comedy, written and directed by Daniel Hsia.  Looking at his credits, he's done some writing for tv, most notably my favorite show...Psych!  This is his first big-screen credit and also his first spin behind the director's chair on a big-budget film.

I give the man a big thumbs up and look forward to what he's got in store for us in the future.

Not really familiar with any of the stars of the movie.  Henney is one of the stars of Hawaii Five O.  Really the only actors I recognized were Bill Paxton and Alan Ruck (Ferris Bueller's best friend).

While I had never heard of the movie, actor or director before, I can honestly say that I was never bored and the movie held my interest from start to finish. 

Can't ask for much more than that.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could easily watch it again.  I don't know that I would run out and buy it, but with Blockbuster going out of business, we'll see if there's still a copy on the shelves!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas..."Lethal Weapon"

I'm too old for this...

The Story:

Veteran cop Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) is nearing retirement.  He finds himself saddled with a new partner, a burn-out, possibly suicidal maniac, Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson).  The two are pulled into a suicide which leads them back to an old Army buddy of Roger's.  The question then becomes, who is going to kill the cops first, the bad guys, or each other?

Come on, how much of a plot synopsis do you want me to give to Lethal Weapon?

It's over 25 years old and is a classic in its own rights.

If the film didn't define it, it at the very least redefined the entire Buddy Cop action flick.

Want to take film-making 101 for making that kind of movie, look no further.

First, get two polar opposites that bicker and squabble with each other, but come to depend and work well with each other by the end of the film.

Literally put them on death's door or as much of a physical wringer as you can muster, and you'll see what they are made of on the inside as well as how tough they are on the outside.

This was Shane Black's first feature movie that he wrote, and he knocked it out of the park on his first try.  He's kept the Christmas feeling over the rest of the movies he's worked on, most recently with Iron Man 3.

Aside from pairing Glover and Gibson together, they also put them opposite Gary Busey who is simply unleashed on the screen as possibly the most psychotic villain to plague 80s cops.  If Die Hard had the suave Hans Gruber to counteract the everyman John McClane, Lethal Weapon offered up Mr. Joshua as the psychopath who could channel Riggs inner rage, and give in to it.

You have to believe that the villains can beat the hero, and literally our heroes limp across the finish line when it's all over.

Tying this all together is Richard Donner.  If push comes to shove, I will say that he is, for overall body of work, my favorite director of all time.  His movies are nearly always entertaining and in a way, timeless.  While this movie is made in the 80s, it could just as easily be now, or earlier.  That's just how Donner works, and his movies age really well.

Plus, much like Die Hard, it's got a Christmas theme, so it's a way to get some adrenaline during the holidays pumped into your system.  Normally I try and squeeze these into holiday viewing when I'm wrapping gifts for the kids.  Now that they've figured out how great Die Hard is, I wonder when they'll come waiting to see this one?!

Final Grade: A+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I love 'em, I own 'em!

Setting the Record Straight..."Napoleon Dynamite"

I do love me some tots!

The Story:

Slacker teen Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) lives with his grandma and his older brother.  When grandma must go away, their Uncle Rico comes to watch the house.  As if Napoleon wasn't tormented enough, now he's getting it at home and school.  Enter the mysterious new student, Pedro, whom Napoleon decides to help elect to the Student Body.

This movie is nearing it's 10th Anniversary.

For 10 long years, I've harbored a secret...

One which will forever cast a doubt on my reviewing capabilities from those of you who venture to this location to read these reviews.

That secret?

I hated this movie.

Of course, hated implies past tense, as if something new has happened and I have discovered the error of my reviewing ways.

So just this weekend as I surfed the channels, this movie was starting up, and I thought to myself...

Why not give it a shot?

Maybe I was wrong.

Everyone I know loved/loves this movie, so maybe I just missed something.

Cue the movie, and the opening credits are pretty inventive.

And that remains the only positive thing I have to say about this movie.

Invoking the 20 minute rule, I bailed at about the 12 minute mark (when Napoleon jumps the bike).

There had been zero laughs, and just the annoyance of Heder's Dynamite grating on my nerves.

Heder is one of those actors that doesn't act, he simply plays himself in various stages of slacker persona.

I tolerated it in The Benchwarmers, but other than that, I can't think of many actors of the last generation that are this annoying.  Tobey Maguire may be bland, but at least he has some range.

So yes, I've sat through the movie once before, about a decade ago and just didn't get the whole world going gaga for the film.

10 years later, I made the right choice of clicking it off... it simply doesn't get better.

At least not for this guy.

It's a cult movie, and this is one cult that I just don't like the taste of the Kool-Aid.

Final Grade: F

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Not even willing to try again at the 25th Anniversary screening.  I've got better things to see... like just about anything.

Do You Understand the Review That Is Coming Out of My Mouth? "Rush Hour"

It ain't 'you all', it's y'all!

The Story:

Detective Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) comes to America to help find the kidnapped daughter of his old boss.  He is handed over to LAPD Detective James Carter (Chris Tucker) by the FBI who want those two as far away from the case as possible.  Can the two figure out a way to work together long enough to save a little girl's life?

Well, duh!

: )

15 years ago, Rush Hour burst onto the scene.


It was a Lethal Weapon for a whole new generation.

Though this action flick was not nearly as gritty as before, there was much more emphasis put on the comedic tone of the movie than Lethal Weapon had employed.

Which also explains why the kids have seen this franchise, and not thrilled to the exploits of Riggs and Murtaugh...

Yet!

But they followed the formula of oil and water...night and day... with two cops that are polar opposites, but both are really good at what they do, and when they finally work together, magic happens.

Helmed by Brett Ratner, one of the more disliked directors in Hollywood.  However whenever I see a Brett Ratner movie, I've always enjoyed it.  Heck, I own most of his library!

:)

Jackie Chan of course, was the big draw to this film for me.  I've always loved his action films and stunt work.

The big surprise was Chris Tucker, who did not annoy me to death when I watched the film.  The more I've watched the franchise, the more fun I've had watching these films.  He has the best lines, and delivers them with style.

Finally, whenever the song "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey plays on the radio, I can't help but think of this movie.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd say it gets watched roughly once a year, and yes, I happily own it.

Quirky Aussies Abound... "Danny Deckchair"

You will believe a man can fly...

The Story:

Danny (Rhys Ifans) finds out that his girlfriend is cheating on him.  Naturally, this happens on a long holiday weekend when the friends are coming over for a barbie.  Danny gets the wild idea to tie giant helium filled balloons to his lounge chair and see if it will lift off the ground.  His friends help, and suddenly Danny is aloft...

And his scissors for cutting the balloons is back on the ground!

Danny disappears into the clouds, and all of Australia is abuzz on what happened to him.

When Danny lands in a town far, far away from where he came from, he discovers that he can have a fresh start at life, and at love with a local named Glenda (Miranda Otto).

Of course, nothing is ever that easy.

Once again, digging through the thousands of movies in the Netflix catalog, and ran across this towards the top of the romantic comedy stack, so I figured, why not?

It's a cute movie.

Nothing genre-smashing or anything of that nature.  A very much paint by the numbers that you know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to get there long before the movie actually does.

Ifans is always fun on the screen, and carries most of the movie.  Like his character, you're rooting for him to succeed because he deserves so much more in life than how we are first introduced to him.  Just meeting his first girlfriend, you know he's destined for someone...anyone...better.

Good enough, but not enough to get me lobby that you move it to the top of your queues anytime soon.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could let it play again, but wouldn't rush out to buy it.

Read This Review...Or the Bunny Gets It! "Con Air"

He's got the whole world...
In his hands!

The Story:

Ex-Ranger Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) gets sent to prison for killing a man in self-defense.  He does his time, and when it's time to go home, he decides to hop a flight on Con-Air, a prison transport.  But not just any transport, this one is moving the worst of the worst, and they just decided to break free.  If Poe has any hope of getting home to see his wife and daughter, he's going to have to save the day.

If I say "popcorn movie", this is the movie that could easily be in the dictionary as the definition.

It's loud.
It's crazy.
It's fun.

In fact, while Cage is playing his best cajun-accented hero, he gets support from some of the best villains ever assembled:

John Malkovich. Danny Trejo. Ving Rhames. Steve Buscemi.

They're chewing up the scenery, and making Poe's life miserable.

Realizing that he has a sense of duty to a friend onboard, as well as a female marshal who will likely be killed if he leaves her alone, Poe passes up an opportunity to leave the plane and plots to save the day from inside the plane.

Luckily, he's got some help on the ground in the form of John Cusack who races to help Poe get to safety.

The movie is fast-paced, written by Scott Rosenberg who also helped Cusack with High Fidelity and went back for Cage once more with Gone in 60 Seconds.

Given that this was the first time Simon West sat in the director's chair, he knocked it out of the park.  He could never have made another movie, and I would have considered him a great one-hit wonder. 

West sort of disappeared, but came roaring back in the last few years with The Mechanic and Expendables 2 last year. 

Welcome back to the Popcorn Movie genre Mr. West, you've been missed!

Yes, I can pop this movie in, anytime and just lose myself in 2 hours of pure adrenaline fun.

It's not a perfect movie...

But it's perfectly fun!

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I own it. I love it. I have seen it so many times, I've lost count! :)

I Need A Little More Than "Two Weeks Notice"

Another romantic comedy?

Yep!

The Story:

George Wade (Hugh Grant) is an extremely wealthy businessman who is the face of the company, even though it's his brother that makes it work.  Wade encounters Lucy Kelson (Sandra Bullock) an environmental lawyer who wants to make sure a community center is not demolished with Wade's new project.  She comes to work for him to help ensure her vision becomes reality, but slowly the job consumes her life as George becomes increasingly dependent on her. 

And then one day, it's time for Lucy to leave George's side...

It's fun watching some of my favorite films after some time has passed. 

Do they remain favorites, or are they best viewed with rose colored glasses?

In today's case, just about a decade has passed since I first watched it, and I think it's just as funny now as it was the first time I saw it.

Why?

For starters, let's take the director, Marc Lawrence.

He's only directed 3 feature films thus far in his career, and all have starred Hugh Grant.

This was their first collaboration, and it is a wonderful comic gem that perfectly balances the oil and water relationship of a romantic comedy with the will they or won't they tension because the two characters can't stand each...because ultimately they have fallen in love with one another.

Did I mention he also wrote the film?

I can see why Hugh Grant likes working with him, as he has probably all of the best lines in the film.

However it wasn't just his first time writing their co-star, Sandra Bullock.  Lawrence also penned the wonderfully pleasing Miss Congeniality, another family favorite in our house.

So not a bad first crack at the director's chair.

However, I found his follow-up with Grant, Music and Lyrics to be even better, and while their third vehicle, Have You Heard About the Morgans wasn't as good, it was still enjoyable enough to watch.

This would explain why his next venture is yet another Hugh Grant movie, and I'm indeed looking forward to it.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I own it, and I would say it gets watch on average once a year.

Leave the Meter Running... "Taxi"

The Fast and the Furious sequel everyone forgets about...


The Story:

Belle (Queen Latifah) is a New York City taxi driver who aspires to be a race car driver.  In fact, she's souped up her taxi quite a bit.  Perhaps a bit too much as she winds up crossing paths with a cop (Jimmy Fallon) and the two become partners trying to solve a series of bank robberies.  Naturally, the two have a lot to teach one another.  Well okay, basically Belle has a whole lot to teach Washburn...

:)

This movie is closing in on a decade old.  That's about the last time I saw it, and I found it fun(ny) back then.

Watched it again recently, and it was still a pretty good film.

Oh, don't get me wrong, it's nothing earth-shattering, but it's not that bad.

Why?

Again, much like yesterday's film, Queen Latifah has a personality that just transcends film and makes her instantly likeable.

She takes a heist film (one of my favorite genres!) originally scripted by the great Luc Besson, and elevates the material with her delivery and charisma.

This is Jimmy Fallon's first foray as a leading man after years of working the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update anchor desk.

He plays a bumbling noob, and he does it really well. :)

Finally, director Tim Story does a great job with his first action flick.  His first feature (that I saw/know of) Barbershop, was a really good movie, and Story branched out into action comedy with this one.  His next film would be The Fantastic Four, and yes, I know a lot of people hated it, but he got The Thing and Human Torch correct, so that film (and its sequel) will always get a pass with me.

: )

Final Grade: C+/B- ish...

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I meant to buy this one within the last decade.  Perhaps the upcoming decade I will finally get around to it?

Live Every Day Like it is Your "Last Holiday"

Get busy living...

The Story:

Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) works for a department store in Louisiana.  When she goes to the doctor to see why she's been feeling ill lately, her diagnosis is terminal.  So she cashes in her savings and heads to Europe to the finest hotel in the land.  There a case of mistaken identity will allow Georgia to hobnob with some bigwigs, where Georgia will hopefully impart some life lessons on everyone before she passes.

This is a fun little movie that gets played at least once a year.  Everyone enjoys it, and it's just a lot of fun onscreen.

Queen Latifah has a blast as the dying woman who decides to try and live before it's too late.  She has personality and charm to spare, and it seems to permeate through the screen in just about any performance she has done in the movies.

She is surrounded by a great cast, including Timothy Hutton, who isn't really known for comedy, but hams it up greatly as the villain of the movie.

L.L. Cool J. is the boyfriend from afar, as both he and Latifah are too shy to express their feelings to one another until it may be simply too late.

Naturally, there's a lesson or two tucked under the overt comedy of the story.

Don't wait to follow your dreams until it is too late.  Every day you delay is too late.

Good advice.
Good movie.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B+... My honey said I should bump this up... so... A! :)

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: We watch it quite a bit, and do already own it.  Netflix will simply save the disc from wearing out. ;)

Tatum To The Rescue! "White House Down"

I get a feeling of deja vu...

The Story:

Cale (Channing Tatum) is a Capitol Service policeman attached to the detail of the Speaker of the House (Richard Jenkins).  But Cale is dreaming of working security for President Sawyer (Jamie Foxx) to impress his daughter (Joey King).  Of course on the day he takes his daughter to the White House for an interview, well that's the day that some really bad guys decide to take over Washington D.C. and take the President captive.

And they might have gotten away with it, if only they would have left Cale's daughter out of it.

But they didn't, and now he's mad.

And he's going to get his daughter back!

Welcome to 2013, when terrorists taking over the White House is not the subject of one Hollywood movie, but two!

First was Olympus Has Fallen, previously reviewed right here on this very spot! http://talesfromthequeue.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-step-by-step-guide-to-overthrowing-dc.html  It's now also streamable on Netflix if you still haven't seen it, or would like to watch it again.

If that was "Die Hard in the White House", then I guess this go-round we're going for "Lethal Weapon in the White House".

It's the buddy cop formula as Tatum and Foxx team up for most of the movie trying to stay alive and one step ahead of those dastardly fiends that are trying to catch the President.

There was some good stunts, some funny lines, and there's nothing inherently wrong with this take on taking out the White House.

However, there's nothing really memorable here either.

In fact, this one actually makes Olympus Has Fallen seem better than it may have been in retrospect.

This one's a little too long, and a little too reliant on the daughter for too many plot devices, than it should be.

Probably streaming on Netflix in about 6 months, but for now you'll have to rent or buy it.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again, but wouldn't go out of my way to do so.  If it comes on cable or something and the remote is too far... ;)

Sometimes You Can Go A Little Too Far..."Extreme Cheapskates"

What would you do to save a buck?

The Story:

The Learning Channel (TLC) brings us tales of people who do anything...and everything... to save a buck.

If you're watching it to find some frugal tips to help out your budget...

This is not that show!

Seriously?

I watched over half of the first episode, getting irritated and disinterested in equal amounts by the second.

The first guy sets the tone...

Asking people at restaurants for their leftovers to take home and eat?

Giving anniversary presents out of the garbage can?

No. No. No.

While I won't say it gets "worse" from there, it certainly doesn't get any better.

The thing I also found most amusingly annoying...

::voiceover::

The average monthly savings of $6... annual savings of $100...

:: voiceover::

Really people?!

Just bite the bullet, and pay the price.

It's a small price to pay to restore your spot in the human race.


Now streaming instantly on Netflix if you'd care to indulge.

Unless you're too cheap to have Netflix!

;)

Final Grade: D

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No. No. Not going to happen!

The Number One Movie in All of the Nine Worlds? "Thor: The Dark World"

By the bristling beard of Odin!

The Story:

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has been busy restoring order to the 9 Worlds since the events of New York (see: The Avengers.  No really, you should really see that movie!)  But dark forces are gathering to eliminate the 9 worlds from existence!

Can Thor stop them?

Not without a little help from...

Loki (Tom Hiddleston) !!

That's all you're going to get from me during the opening weekend.

: )

I will say that like most Phase One movies, Phase Two doesn't miss a beat by replacing directors.  Alan Taylor takes the helm, and brings the Norse Legends to life, all the while taking a "comic book" movie and embracing the science fiction aspects of it.

And it works!

I liked the first Thor.

I liked this Thor even more.

To quote VeggieTales in summing up this movie:

"I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob."

Just about all of the original cast returns, to varying degrees of use within the film.  Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Natalie Portman, Idris Elba...

Good stuff.

If the ending is any indication, I am looking forward to seeing what Thor 3 has to offer.

Final Grade: A-... it will probably upgrade to a pure A when I review it again on DVD. :)

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: When does it come out on Blu-Ray already???!!!

What Happens In Vegas..."The Hangover: Part III"

I can't believe I watched the whole thing...

The Story:

The Wolfpack returns, one last time as things come full circle.  Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) must track down Chow (Ken Jeong) who has $21 Million in stolen gold from Marshall (John Goodman) or Marshall is going to kill Doug (Justin Bartha).  Strangely, this time everyone remembers everything that has happened to them, so there is no memory loss aspect this go-round.

As I said, this film brings the trilogy full-circle to a conclusion.  How satisfying it is, totally depends on how much you enjoyed these films.

I've been firmly in the camp of "they're okay, but nowhere near as great as people make them out to be".  At least, I guess the first one.  I'm not sure the same acclaim came with the second one.

This series has provided a series of gags which elicit smiles, smirks, chuckles, groans or outright laughs.

Sadly, the outright laughs usually number single digits in each of the films.

How Mr. Chow became the focal point of the series is a strange twist of events.  He's begun to overshadow the movie himself, which is weird for what should be an outrageous buddy film.

The three leads have their parts down pat, and they seem to quite enjoy doing these films, but I think they're probably all glad that this series is hopefully behind them.

It's run out of steam, and it's best to part ways now, though the filmmakers definitely leave an opening if they want to make a 4th film.

How Stu is going to get out of that mess is anyone's guess.

Again, depending on your enjoyment of the first two will help gauge your enjoyment of this one.

Final Grade: C, which is about on par for the whole series for me.  This is not as good as the first but better than the second.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, not a franchise I need to see again.

Who Doesn't Like Cake? "Cake Boss: The Next Great Baker"

It's Go Time!   

The Story:

With the success of Cake Boss, TLC brings back Buddy Valastro and his team to host a reality competition to discover "The Next Great Baker".  A dozen bakers vie for the prize, as week by week another contestant is sent packing.  To the winner comes cash, prizes and a chance to work side by side learning from the man at Carlo's Baker.

Pretty good show.

It's not nearly as good as Cake Boss, but thankfully there is enough of Buddy and the Familia to go around to make the episodes lively.

For the most part, the challenges are pretty good and while sometimes the consequences are devastating to the contestants, Buddy is trying to make a point:

In the baking business, bad things happen.

You've got to be resilient and overcome those challenges if you want to be a success.

I couldn't be happier with the winner from Season 1, who deserved the win.

As for Season 2...

I've yet to find the contestant I'm most rooting for, and it's about halfway done.

The contestants are all much less likable than Season One, and the challenges seem much harder, and meaner.

I'm not sure if it was Buddy or TLC that wanted to spice things up this go round, but it just seems to have a rougher edge to it.

Plus, I can't believe how Buddy has not eliminated one contestant that deserved to go but got stays of execution on more than one occasion.  He's slipping I guess.

: )

This batch of contestants is also much whinier than the first season.

And this just in, the winner has been revealed... and Buddy got it wrong.

Tsk tsk.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade:  B ~ Season One // B-/C+ ~ Season Two

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Again, if they stream it, I will watch.  No need to purchase. ;)

Don't Judge A Girl By Her Nose..."Penelope"

Fairy tales can come true...

The Story:

Penelope (Christina Ricci) is born with a curse.  Born with the face of a pig, she is cursed to look that way until she is loved by one of her own.  Her parents (Richard Grant and Catherine O'Hara) assume it's the love of a rich suitor.  Of course, all men run screaming from the room once they lay eyes on Penelope's snout.  But that all changes when a young suitor (James McAvoy) comes calling.  Is he in it for love, or the money?

Nothing like scouring the Netflix archives for movies that I've never seen/heard of.  From 2006 comes this little romantic comedy gem from writer Leslie Caveny and director Mark Palansky.  It's their first times in feature roles for either, and they do a great job.

This modern day fairy tale is pretty cute.  Ricci is far from hideous, yet that is a driving part of the film.  Rich suitors come and go, all signing non-disclosure agreements until one guy gets away without signing.

Then the hunt for "pig-girl" begins.

Enter McAvoy who is used as a plot device to capture a picture of the hideous princess for publication.

He charms her, and is taken aback at her appearance, yet does not flee.

Eventually, it all falls apart and Penelope takes off to brave the world alone.

She meets and befriends a local (Reese Witherspoon) and begins to live and enjoy her life.

And then... the curse is magically lifted, but not in any way that was expected.

Will love win out after all?

Cute stuff, and I'm glad I found it in the archives.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd have no problem watching this one again in the future.

"The Great Gatsby" ? That's One of Many Adjectives I Would Not Use to Describe This Movie.

Great is overrated.

Let's see if I can't fix that!

And that's about the same face I made as I was watching this movie as well, thanks Tobey!

The Story:

The movie opens with a drunk, Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire) telling about his life up to this point, and apparently how it intersected with that of Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio).  The flashbacks unfold as Nick begins feverishly, both literally and figuratively, begins banging out his story...

20 minutes later... I was bored.

:)

Wait, let me be perfectly clear, I was bored long before the 20 minute mark, I just invoked the 20 minute rule at that point.

That's right, The Great Gatsby didn't even get the chance at 1.5x speed on the PS3 for me to see if there was anything redeeming to this feature.

Perhaps I'm just not a fan of Baz Luhrmann?  I was underwhelmed with what I saw of Moulin Rouge, and his Australia! put me to sleep.

This looked like the roaring twenties, so I'll give them credit for a great look and feel to the film.

But I honestly didn't care to keep watching.

Tobey Maguire doesn't have the commanding presence to keep me glued to the set waiting for the Great Gatsby to arrive.

I suppose it would have gotten better had I kept watching, but I'll consider that an extra 2 hours of my life saved.

Besides, while you can't *always* judge a movie by its trailer, I did in this instance.

And I found the final product about on par with what I was expecting.

Final Grade: D-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No, I'm good.  If I really want to find out what happens, there's a book out there with the same name. ;)

The Discovery of the Missing Link... "The Croods"

Not your typical stone-age family...

The Story:

Grug (Nicholas Cage) has spent his life keeping his family alive.  However his oldest daughter, Eep (Emma Stone) in typical teenage fashion is looking to broaden her horizons outside of the cave.  When she meets a mysterious stranger named Guy (Ryan Reynolds), she longs to go with him on his quest for a better tomorrow.  When the cave is destroyed by an earthquake, Grug will have to follow Guy on their quest to find safety on higher ground.  Trying new things is bad, and that's all Guy is really about.

This was a cute movie, perhaps overhyped by my kids on how great and awesome it was.

:)

It was good, don't get me wrong.

The animation was beautiful and the voice acting was tremendous.

Nicholas Cage is somewhat restrained in his role.  How often can you really say that about any Nicholas Cage role, since, oh I don't know... the 80s?

Ryan Reynolds plays himself, as usual.  Of course, as I've said before, I absolutely love Ryan Reynolds and all that he does.  Been a fan since Van Wilder, and enjoy anytime he turns up in a movie.

The movie centers around Emma Stone, and functions as a coming of age story for her where she will reject her father to follow the man that has stolen her heart.

Thankfully, she's less rebellious and stubborn than a red-haired mermaid that I know...

Plus, the makers do realize that ultimately the dad wasn't such a lunk-head, and without him, none of them would have survived.

So they managed to pull the movie back up and save it at the end when the father and daughter share their goodbyes.

Dads, get  your tissues ready, that's going to be your girl someday.

:: sigh ::

The colors in the movie are lush and vibrant.  I wasn't the biggest fan of the character models.  Some odd dinosaur choices, and the Croods themselves have an unusual body composition. 

Of course, I'm a guy that likes simple cavemen stories...

Like the Flintstones. ;)

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'm pretty sure there's a kid or 7 that will demand this be under the tree this holiday season...

Stealing Dogs in the Name of Love... "Lost & Found"

The next best thing to a Neil Diamond concert...

The Story:

Dylan (David Spade) is a struggling restaurant owner who wants to expand the business by getting a loan from Mr. Millstone (Martin Sheen).  In the meantime, a beautiful cellist, Lila (Sophie Marceau) who lives near Dylan, has her dog keep escaping.  Dylan keeps returning the dog to the grateful owner, and then Dylan decides that maybe if he kept the dog in the house for an extra hour or two, he could spend a little more quality time with Lila.  Ah, but when the dog eats the engagement ring that he's holding for his best friend... things get a little complicated!

Ah yes, my love of former Saturday Night Live performers continues to this day.

Today, it's David Spade who finally achieved "star of the movie" status with this film.

Before, he had been part of the dynamic duo of David Spade and Chris Farley who struck gold with Tommy Boy and followed it up with the less successful Black Sheep. However, with Farley's untimely death, Spade had little choice but to go solo.  A few smaller parts and co-star movies followed before Lost and Found was released.

Is it a great movie?

Not great, but not bad.

Spade's acerbic wit and biting humor are on full display here, and I've always  found the man to be hilarious.

Couple that with Artie Lange as someone who wants to be just like Dylan, it makes for a great running gag through the movie.

Of course, some people will insist that Spade and Marceau could never be an item in real life, but that's why this is a movie.  He's the little guy that is sincere and charming to the girl of his dreams, and he wins her over.

It's always good to root for the underdog.

The trick will be, once she discovers that he lied to her (about the dog), will she be willing to take him back?

The storylines all culminate at a party where Spade must do his best Neil Diamond impression in order to earn his business loan.

And when the movie ends, the cast engages in a rousing dance/singalong to Groove is in the Heart.  I'm not sure when the credit cast scenes began, but this might have been one of the firsts.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could easily watch it again, harmless David Spade fun that always puts a smile on my face.

Our Man Stan... "With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story"

Excelsior!

The Story:

A biography covering the life and career of Stan Lee and the characters that he created for Marvel Comics.

I love Stan Lee.

You'll never find a more engaging pitchman who so believes in what he does than Stan.

While I no longer read the comics, I will always love the characters that he created, or to spread the love truthfully, co-created in many instances.

Writing comics would probably be my dream job, therefore Stan Lee is my ultimate hero.

He had the job that I would love to have, but would always feel I could never live up to.

But man, it would be a blast to try!

To sit back and realize that YOU are the man telling stories about Spider-Man...or the Fantastic Four...or...

Yeah, pretty cool gig.

And for the most part, all of the other people that are interviewed in this film also gush about how cool Stan is, both genuine and personable.

Plus, there's some nice Stan at home scenes with his lovely wife, those two are still madly in love after all these years.

So if you want to see a good documentary on Stan and the history of Marvel, here you go!

Now available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Maybe I'll watch it again in a few years, but nothing that screams "buy me!"

Halloween Candy Hangover? The Antidote Would Be To "Make 'Em Laugh" Disc One

Now that's funny!

The Story: 

A retrospective of comedy in America, as originally presented on PBS back in 2009.  6 episodes, spread out 2 per disc, because apparently 6 hours of information is too much for one DVD...

The first episode concentrates on the oddballs, jerks and nerds.

Emphasis falls on Johnathan Winters, Robin Williams, Harold Lloyd, Phyllis Diller, Woody Allen but many others are mentioned and featured.

The second episode is the breadwinners and homemakers.

This concentrates on tv shows, especially I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners and the Dick Van Dyke show.

The documentary seems to jump scatter-brained from past to present, back and forth, with no real rhyme or reason to the skipping.

The subtitle of this documentary was "The Funny Business of America".

To me, that's how this should have been presented.  They were looking at 100 years, start with vaudeville and the silent movies and end with the stand-ups/tv/movie funnymen of today.

I think that would have given a bit better focus on the growth and importance of American comedy.

So there was some interesting nuggets to be had, but I'm not sure that anyone in the house wants me getting the remaining 4 hours to see how it turns out.

The series was hosted with intros by Billy Crystal, and it offered some insightful commentary by people that are no longer with us, like George Carlin.

Overall it was a nice experiment that could have used some tightening in execution.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, not even sure I'll get around to finishing the rest of the series.