Don't Judge A Girl By Her Nose..."Penelope"

Fairy tales can come true...

The Story:

Penelope (Christina Ricci) is born with a curse.  Born with the face of a pig, she is cursed to look that way until she is loved by one of her own.  Her parents (Richard Grant and Catherine O'Hara) assume it's the love of a rich suitor.  Of course, all men run screaming from the room once they lay eyes on Penelope's snout.  But that all changes when a young suitor (James McAvoy) comes calling.  Is he in it for love, or the money?

Nothing like scouring the Netflix archives for movies that I've never seen/heard of.  From 2006 comes this little romantic comedy gem from writer Leslie Caveny and director Mark Palansky.  It's their first times in feature roles for either, and they do a great job.

This modern day fairy tale is pretty cute.  Ricci is far from hideous, yet that is a driving part of the film.  Rich suitors come and go, all signing non-disclosure agreements until one guy gets away without signing.

Then the hunt for "pig-girl" begins.

Enter McAvoy who is used as a plot device to capture a picture of the hideous princess for publication.

He charms her, and is taken aback at her appearance, yet does not flee.

Eventually, it all falls apart and Penelope takes off to brave the world alone.

She meets and befriends a local (Reese Witherspoon) and begins to live and enjoy her life.

And then... the curse is magically lifted, but not in any way that was expected.

Will love win out after all?

Cute stuff, and I'm glad I found it in the archives.

Final Grade: Solid B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd have no problem watching this one again in the future.

This One At Least Lives Up To The Cool Title..."Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters"

An alternate title could have been: Hansel & Gretel: Punching Bags!

The Story:

Everyone is familiar with the story of Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and his sister Gretel (Gemma Arteron) about the house of candy and killing the witch.  Well, apparently the dynamic duo got a taste for killing witches, and now they make a living offing those evil ladies.  However, their latest assignment puts them face to face against the most powerful witch (Famke Janssen) they've ever faced.  The two will also learn a little something about their tragic childhood that has remained a secret... until now!

Unlike the Paul Bunyan myth I reviewed yesterday, Hansel and Gretel have a bigger budget, a better cast, and much better special effects.

Don't get me wrong, it's no classic of cinema, but it's a B movie, through and through, and that works.

Really, aside from some chunks of dialogue and swearing just to ensure the movie got an R rating, it wasn't half bad.

So there, at least it's half good, right? :)

As I alluded to with my introduction, Hansel and Gretel spend a great bit of the movie getting beaten, punched and kicked throughout the movie.  Granted, they do their fair share as well, but these two are certainly put through the ringer to earn their stripes.

It's a superhero movie without the capes. ;)

Hansel also has to take a drug every few hours to counteract the witch-candy he had to eat as a kid.  They could have easily done without that part, but I guess they needed something to make Renner even more angsty than usual.

One thing that seems puzzling, is that it seems like the witches would've used more spells than engaging the witch-killing duo straight up in a fistfights, but hey, it's not so bad.  Perhaps they had to save some budget somewhere.

It's silly, harmless fun.  No harm, no foul.

Final Grade: C+/B- range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably not very likely that I would go out of my way to purchase it.  Watching it again in the future.. maybe I'll catch it on cable again one late night when I'm surfing? :)