Well, That Was Disappointing..."Shin Godzilla"

Shin Godzilla (2016)

Not Rated

Starring Godzilla, Thousands of Screaming Japanese People

Directed by Hideaki Anno & Sean Whitley

The Story:

Some great disturbance under the ocean floor unleashes a worm unlike the world has ever seen. At least it seems like a worm. Eventually it makes landfall, and in short order begins to evolve, stand tall, and begin to destroy Japan!  How will the Japanese government stop...

Godzilla!

Hey look kids, it's a film about Emergency Management planning!

Sound fun?

Well, it's not. 

It's basically 2 hours of governments attempting to figure out how to stop Godzilla, and which arm of the government should take the lead on it. 

Yeah, not very exciting. 

Then you've got Godzilla, who looks really ridiculous at first, until he finally evolves into something that mostly resembles the Godzilla we've come to love over the last 50+ years from Toho. 

But, it still doesn't really feel right. The face is off, enough... perhaps too big of a mouth opening.

And then I kept laughing at the ridiculous length of the tail as it flailed around in the movie.

However, keep a close eye on it, as it apparently holds the key to the sequel...

that I will probably watch, but don't look forward to seeing. 

:)

Unlike Kong: Skull Island, this one was very much a disappointment for me. 

While they've allowed different takes with each movie, it doesn't seem like they can decide what direction they're going with for Godzilla at this point. 

Instead, they freeze him like a statue and wait for the next film to probably start all over again. 

Godzilla is getting more origin stories than Spider-Man at this point! 

I'm hearing rumblings of another cinematic meet-up with Kong in the future. 

We'll see how that goes...

Final Grade:  D

"Godzilla" Returns! (And Doesn't Suck)

Godzilla (2014)

Rated PG-13

Starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, and of course, Godzilla

Directed by Gareth Edwards

The Story:

Joe Brody (Cranston) discovers some dangerous seismic activity at a nuclear facility. However, before it can be shut down, an accident kills his wife (Binoche). 15 years later, the activity is starting up again, and Brody is determined to find out what killed his wife. Meanwhile his son, Ford, (Taylor-Johnson) is trying to get his dad out of trouble one more time. However when the two stumble upon giant creatures that feed off radiation, while man may be powerless to stop them, perhaps there is hope in trusting...

Godzilla!

I found two things amusing in this movie, and there may have been more (un)intentional homages as well.

Brody's vs. monster creatures. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies!

A quick shout-out to Lone Pine, California. This is heavy, Doc!

That said, for a movie that featured the title character for maybe, maybe... 15 minutes of the 2 hour running time, it really wasn't boring.

The story kept moving forward at a frenetic pace, and similar to the aforementioned Jaws, much of the monsters are kept under wraps, under water, while the destruction that they leave behind is what is on display.

Sometimes less is more, and I think that may have worked in Godzilla's best interest.

The redesign of the big guy works, for the most part.

Definitely better than the Broderick film, but call me sentimental, I miss the old Toho suit.

I actually want one just so I can wear it and step on toys and chase my kids around.

:)

So now that we've established that Godzilla is a force for good, so what happens in the sequel?

Final Grade: B... B- range.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again down the road. It wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it could have been. That said, it could have been improved here and there also.

Happy Birthday Godzilla! "Godzilla: Final Wars"

Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Rated PG-13 for monster violence

Starring: Godzilla

Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura

The Story:

Aliens are attacking Earth.  They are unleashing giant monsters across the globe.  The Earth Defense Force decides to free a trapped Godzilla to fight each of these monsters and save the Earth.

Good plan.

To celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Godzilla, Toho Films took apparently the idea of the great Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters, and fuse it with some of the Godzilla video games, to come up with a 21st Century monster battle royal.

Which theoretically would be enjoyable...

But this movie was soooo long and slow getting to that point.

Even at 1.5 speed on the PS3.  : /

If I rent a movie called Godzilla, I need to see Godzilla, in action, long before we do.

And I don't count the beginning of the movie where Godzilla is trapped in the earth.

By the time the monster throw downs happened, I was utterly bored, and really didn't care.

Plus, the monsters started moving and jumping around a little too unrealistically for giant monsters.

And yes, I realize how ridiculous that last sentence must seem...

But I expect some sort of lumbering, monster fights.  Not a parkour/ninja/pro wrestling Godzilla duking it out with similar monsters.

Now I want to see Destroy All Monsters again to see if they were as offensive in their fighting style, or if it was a more plodding fight style that I remember.

Very disappointed in the 50th Anniversary of the big G.

Hopefully the 60th anniversary version rectifies this blight.

Final Grade:  D+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No thanks.

Voltron Was Busy That Weekend... "Pacific Rim"

What if Godzilla and a Transformer had a baby?

The Story:

In the future, a portal opens in the depths of the ocean, and giant monsters begin coming to Earth.  So destructive, the world throws out their petty differences and works as one to create giant robots that 2 pilots will navigate into battle to defend the world against the marauding hordes.  Ah, but the times are a changing, and the robots are being de-commissioned in favor of a protective wall.

But when the wall fails, can the remaining robots and pilots save the world before it's too late?

Easily the best movie of the Transformers franchise.

A shame that it had nothing to do with the Transformers franchise.

The fight scenes and special effects are great.  The scenes, even those taking place at night in, around and underwater are all clear and laid out very well.

Transformers should take notes.

Idris Elba gives a great performance as the leader of the program.

Everything else though, it's just a long...really long... exercise that simply takes about 45 minutes too long to tell.

Pretty to look at, but nothing of substance.

Wait, was this a movie or a supermodel?

If that's how you like 'em, you'll love this one.

I was simply whelmed.  Neither over, nor under.

Final Grade: C... maybe C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: My kids liked it more than I did.  Like I said, nothing terrible, but nothing I'm going out of my way to watch again.