The Month of September? Consider it..."Erased"

I thought I already wrote this review...yet it mysteriously vanished from my computer!

The Story:

Ben Logan (Aaron Eckhart) is living in Belgium, doing security work for a firm.  He's brought along his daughter, Amy (Liana Liberato).  The two are dysfunctional at best, as she resents having to leave her life in America to live with her dad.  Of course, she doesn't realize that her dad has some secrets up his sleeve that will reveal his past in the CIA.  Of course, when Ben stumbles upon what his employers are up to quite by accident, they erase his identity and send the assassins in to clean up the job.  Ben's going to have to save himself and his daughter in a foreign land.

Piece of cake.

Meh.

It's nothing you haven't seen before (Bourne... Taken...) and Eckhart is a serviceable leading man, who is also very believable as a securities expert who is also part deadly assassin when needed.

But the daughter... she is annoying and just drags the film down. 

The idea of the film is solid enough, heck, when they did it years ago with The Net starring Sandra Bullock, it was quite enjoyable.

When the Big Bad Agency erases your identity and makes life difficult, that's a pretty scary story already.

We don't really need an angsty whiney teenager pouting about why her dad knows how to kill people.

Gee kid, I just saved your life, you're welcome...

: /

Now available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Serviceable movie, but nothing I'm in any need to see again.

Sunday's Screamer...I Mean Streamer..."A Haunted House"

Some weird things are going on in this house!

And there's a ghost, too!

The Story:

Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) has his girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins) move into his house with him.  Malcolm didn't ask for the demon to come along with her.

Ah yes, a parody of the "found footage" horror movies that are box office hits.

And, they do some of the same stunts, which actually generate some suspense and chills, but they are buried deep and wide amongst the throw it at the wall and see if it sticks comedy.

Now, for those that have seen the Scary Movie franchise, you probably know exactly what kind of comedy you're going to get.

When Marlon Wayans is your most grounded character in the film, you know there's going to be issues. :)

You've got Nick Swardson playing Chip the gay psychic who is infatuated with Malcolm, and is more concerned with getting with Malcolm than getting rid of the demon.

Then you have Cedric the Entertainer at the end of the film as the exorcist.  Small part, but he has a good time with it.

Whether or not they are successful ridding the house of the demon...

Well, I just saw that a sequel is in the works, so that should give you a clue.

Available to stream instantly as of this writing on Netflix.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, I'm good on this one.  There were some amusing gags in the film, but not enough to warrant subsequent viewings.  Yes, I will likely watch the sequel though.  :)

It's Time To Pump...You Up! "Pain and Gain"

Truth is stranger than fiction.

And way more coked up!

The Story:

Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) is a fitness trainer at a local gym in Florida.  He's tired of getting nowhere in search of the American dream, so he has a plan:  Steal it from a rich jerk, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub).  So he enlists his best friend Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and they bring in some even bigger muscle in ex-con Paul (Dwayne Johnson) to pull off their heist.  Things don't go so well, but eventually they begin to bleed Victor dry of all of his assets.  Then things begin to go from bad to worse for the trio...

Sure, some of the events are exaggerated for the big screen, but basically, this is a true story unfolding before your eyes.

It's unbelievable in the ineptitude of our trio, and also the sheer willpower of Victor to not get killed!  Insane...

I must mention that it's a film directed by Michael Bay, which should immediately make many people roll their eyes and groan.

Not this guy, I've got no problem with the majority of his films.  They're perfect popcorn films.

The hard part of this film is that it is based on a true story.  It's hard to root for either side because one side is doing illegal things and the other is a jerk.  But you feel bad rooting against either, because they do a good job playing their roles.

The guy deserves to have his money stolen... and they deserve to go to jail.

Hard to have a rooting interest when your own film divides the feelings of the audience.

Of the cast, The Rock easily steals the picture as the larger than life coke head.  He's funny and he delivers the best lines throughout the film. 

Also not mentioned is the always great Ed Harris as the private detective who helps bring the trio to justice.  Nice to see him playing a good guy again, as he's been wearing the black hat too often lately.

Crazy story you have to see to believe.

Final Grade: B-/C+ range.  Good but not great.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I'd probably have to pass on owning it, and I'm not sure I'd sit through it again.  Once was good.  Maybe after a few years have passed?

Evel Knievel Had Nothing on the Guys from "Nitro Circus: The Movie"

Kids... Don't try this at home...

Unless you want to be famous!

The Story:

Travis Pastrana and his crew of daredevil buddies take extreme sports...to the extreme!

Sit back and watch 90 minutes of death-defying and sometimes amusing stunts performed for your entertainment...

As well as theirs!

The natural comparison to this film would be Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass series.  In fact, Mr. Knoxville stops by and provides some talking head insight into the Nitro Circus.

The best piece of advice he offers... Jackass designs the stunts to fail spectacularly and be hilarious.

If the Nitro Circus fails... they could be killed.

Sobering thought.

So the film follows them around the globe as they prepare for their performance for a sold-out crowd in Las Vegas. 

Many of the stunts they perform have to be done outside of America, for legal reasons.

The movie also spends time allowing you to get to know the crew, so they aren't just faces performing for your amusement.

Celebrity fans, including Channing Tatum (you can never have too much Channing Tatum in a film!) comment on how amazing these guys are.

And they really are.

Give it a whirl though, I promise you won't be bored.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't need to buy it, but I'd have no problems watching the stuntwork again.

Polio Schmolio..."FDR: American Badass"

The only thing we have to fear...is werewolves!?!?

The Story:

Governor Roosevelt (Barry Bostwick) is out hunting with his friends when they are attacked by a werewolf.  He is bitten in the leg and contracts polio.  When a chance encounter with a young fan at the hospital spurs Roosevelt to run for President...well, the rest as they say, is history.  Of course most history books overlook the fact that Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito were all werewolves.

Yes, it's going to be a slightly different version of what the history books said!

Well, this film was no Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Instead of playing it straight, they went straight for the absurd in this film.  Heck, they even go for a Batman style logo segue between scenes, so you know from the get-go this is not going to be a conventional film by any means.

Barry Bostwick is hilarious as the aforementioned badass in the film.  He chews the scenery, and his cigarette, with relish and glee as he tears through the film.  The rest of the cast support him well.

The ridiculousness of the entire Axis of Evil (the first, and still the best...) being werewolves is insanely absurd, but works perfectly in this film.

So much so, that by the time the spirit of Abraham Lincoln (Kevin Sorbo) shows up, you question absolutely nothing at that point.  Of COURSE it had to happen that way!

;)

Really, the only thing I could do without was the scene involving bathroom humor.

And don't get me wrong, a good fart joke is *always* funny... ;)

But some films take it too far, and it crosses over from funny to disgusting.

So this film's getting docked for that...


Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing...

If you dare!

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: One and done was just the right amount for this film. 

Not All Heroes Have Powers..."Agents of SHIELD"

Welcome Back, Agent Coulson...

The Story:

SHIELD operative Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) returns.  Nuff Said!  But no, he brings with him a team of operatives: Ward (Brett Dalton) the muscle; Melinda May (Ming Na-Wen) the reluctant one; Fitz (Iain De Caestecker) engineering; Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) bio.  With Coulson calling the shots, they go after the group The Rising Tide and recruit one of them, Skye (Chloe Bennett) to help them track down the latest unregistered  hero.

Throwing in a nice cameo from Agent Hill (Cobie Smulders) and a cryptic tease about Agent Coulson...

It's a nice extension of the Marvel Universe on the small screen, and a worthy pick up from the events from The Avengers movie as they expand the mythos.

Considering we haven't had a quality live-action Marvel show since The Incredible Hulk, it's a nice change of pace.

I'll have to let the kids watch the old Nicholas Hammond Spider-Man show to see how good they've really got it.

It's an entertaining show that attempts to tell a story that enhances what we've enjoyed in the movie theaters. 

Plus, do not underestimate the appeal that Agent Coulson has resonated with the fans of the Marvel Universe.  His presence alone will carry a lot of good will throughout the season.  He got the best lines, but there was growth amongst the team as the show went along.

Happy that  Joss Whedon has brought the Agents to tv, and hope these all enjoy a nice long Buffy the Vampire Slayer type tenure.

I'm in for the season, and the DVR is set to go!

Final Grade: B+...A-... it's all good. ;)

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  I'm sure we'll hit a few episodes more than once in the near future, or while waiting for Season 2.  Will I be buying it?  Seems like the Marvel Universe would be missing them if the don't join the movie lot. :)

America's First Serial Killer..."Madness in the White City"

Jack the Ripper's got nothing on H.H. Holmes!

The Story:

1893, Chicago, home of the World's Fair.  Chicago pulls out all the stops to be awarded the spectacle that will bring thousands of people and dollars to their city.  Meanwhile, just outside the city, a deranged man begins constructing an elaborate hotel... of death!

This is the true story of how both stories intertwined.

Courtesy of the National Geographic Channel comes an interesting if somewhat uneven documentary that chronicles two different things.

One, is the 1893 Chicago World's Fair.

Talk about a blast from the past, this one had it all, electricity, motion pictures, the Ferris Wheel.  It's an amazing walk down memory lane at how inventive Americans were, and how many cool things came about at that fair.

It also discusses how Chicago had to work at a breakneck speed to prepare for the Fair, and literally finished just in time.

The second, is Holmes, who would become America's first (known?) serial killer.  This madman devised a torture chamber hotel and lured women who came to Chicago for the Fair to their doom.

The exact number of victims will remain lost to time, but it's pretty creepy from start to finish and puts a scary twist on the otherwise impressive feat that Chicago pulled off.

It's amazing how Holmes was eventually caught, and the suspicious circumstances of what became of his hotel of horrors...

Fun Fact of the documentary: They explain how Chicago became known as the "Windy City", and it's not for the reason you might think!


Now available for streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I think I'm good with watching it once, but I hear there is another documentary out there on the Fair itself, and I think I'd like to learn a little more about that one.  I'll let you know if/when I see it. : )

An All-Star Cast is Usually An All-Out Flop..."The Big Wedding"

Til death do they part.  Or Divorce.  Whichever comes first.

The Story:

Don (Robert DeNiro) and Ellie (Diane Keaton) were married once.  They had 2 children: Jared (Topher Grace) and Lyla (Katherine Heigl).  They adopted Alejandro (Ben Barnes) a few years later, but it was too little, too late to save their marriage.  Don has moved on, and in, with Bebe (Susan Sarandon), Ellie's best friend.  However everyone is coming back home to see Alejandro tie the knot with Missy (Amanda Seyfried).  However, Alejandro needs a favor from his parents:  could they please pretend to still be married this weekend?  His real mom is coming to America, and a strict Catholic would simply not approve of the divorce. 

What could possibly go wrong?

This is another all-star comedy that mostly works.

It's more amusing than flat-out comedy, and one that embraces it's "R" rating.

Which again, sometimes I lament that screenplays feel the need to throw that around in a movie that could otherwise easily grabbed a PG-13 rating and appealed to a wider audience.

Otherwise, no real complaints with the movie.

The performances are all enjoyable, as we have a consummate group of actors on display in this movie.

It was a treat to see Susan Sarandon again, as she seems to have mostly disappeared from movies as the years go by, which is a shame.  She's a natural at comedy, and has a great time with her role.

Robin Williams is also included in a minor role as the priest who will perform the ceremony.  He is restrained, and possibly the only sane member of the cast. ;)

The only real casting misfire comes at the end when Lyla's boyfriend is revealed.  When you have a "beautiful cast" of great actors... you couldn't spring for one more to play the boyfriend, if even for a moment?  I suppose they want to give hope that real life works that way, but rarely do you see someone like Heigl dating a caveman...

: )

Final Grade: B-/C+ range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor:  No need to own it, but I could watch it again if it was on.  No big hurry though.

Streaming Sunday..."Nova: The Mystery of Easter Island"

My fascination with PBS continues...

The Story:

How did all of those giant statues get placed all over Easter Island?  There's been many theories over the years, but now the crack team at Nova may have finally uncovered the truth...

Space Aliens!

No, just kidding.

Instead, we've got historians and scientists that postulate how the statues got to their location.  The old, best theory was the statues were laid on logs and rolled across the island.

That's so last century.

No, the legend has it that the statues "walked" into place.

And before the end of the episode, they are going to prove that very fact. 

They created their own scale model of one of the statues for experimentation.

While they gear up for the big moment, there is much discussion about what happened on this island centuries ago and how it came to be.  Pretty interesting stuff, in addition to the mystery of how the statues got around the island.

So they finally get to the moment of truth, and with a bunch of muscles and some rope, the statue begins to wobble.

I have to admit, it's pretty cool when they fail, because the failure actually proves they were right.

As an armchair quarterback, I was yelling at the tv going, don't put the ropes "there!"... "Move them over there..."

Thankfully, they could apparently hear me. 

:)

When they fix the way they tried to move the statue, suddenly it all clicks, and until someone else comes along with a better idea...

Mystery Solved!

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Pretty interesting subject for a viewing, but I won't be rushing out to see it again in the near future.  Could revisit it down the road again for science/history with the kids though!  Still very entertaining subject.

A Step by Step Guide to Overthrowing DC... "Olympus Has Fallen"

It's like Die Hard...

In the White House!

The Story:

Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is a Secret Service agent on the President's (Aaron Eckhart) detail.  After a disastrous event, he removes himself off the detail and goes to push a desk at the Treasury Department.  Ah, but fate is a fickle mistress, and 18 months later, terrorists take over the White House, and only one man can save the day.

But since John McClane is a different franchise, Mike Banning will have to do!

:)

Directed by competent action-helmer Antoine Fuqua, this was the first of 2 big budget "White House attacked by terrorists" films.  Much like Armageddon and Deep Impact from a few years ago, sometimes studios have great minds thinking alike at the same time.

Sometimes it pays to be first, sometimes it simply pays to be better.

I'll let you know how the two Secret Service to the Rescue films fare head-to-head after I've seen the other, but for now...

Olympus Has Fallen is pretty decent action fare.

Much as I had hoped, Gerard Butler returns to his roots in all his butt-kicking glory.  Again, pigeon-holing this as a "Die Hard" rip-off is both fair and critical at the same time.  The setup begs for the comparison, so if you're going down that road, you have got to make your lead character likeable, believable, and a bit humourous doesn't hurt.

Well, the screenplay lets Butler down, as he's got the first 2 down, but really doesn't get to unleash any McClane-isms at the bad guy until the film is well into the third act.

The terrorists, hands-down, are quite brutal and believable.  Again, take the destruction of DC as you will, the plot is only as far-fetched as you want it to be.

The assembled cast is pretty impressive, it was nice to see Angela Bassett again, and Ashley Judd's extended cameo is thankless, yet necessary to the overall plot.  It's nice to see them both in a box-office hit again.

Plus, this film has the Morgan Freeman factor, so that makes it automatically better just by including him.  He does a great job as the President who's not the President.

It falls in the long line of Die Hard-ish movies that cannot escape the shadow of the original.

That said, it's a good attempt, and extremely watchable.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd watch it again, and for a decent price, I'd pick it up and add it to the action pile.

"Bullet To The Head" ? That Sounds Painful...

That's going to leave a mark!

The Story:

James Bonomo (Sylvester Stallone) is a hitman living in New Orleans.  After completing a job, his partner is killed and James barely escapes.  Meanwhile, detective Kwon (Sung Kang) comes calling to find his partner who was also murdered.  The two cross paths, and then reluctantly join forces as they realize that the killer ( Jason Momoa) took out both of their partners.  They'll uncover a layered web of corruption and deception as they work their way to the top of the food chain. However, how long can Kwon tolerate Bonomo's less than legal actions as they seek out the information they need?

Has anyone had a better late career boost than Sylvester Stallone?

He's hung around long enough to be cool again! ;)

Personally, I think the movies that he is making now are also much better than what he was making years ago.

Granted, Stallone also has no problem bringing back the gratuitous violence that embodied the 80s action films, and added an extra layer of splatter to make the movies more violent and less cartoony.

Though sometimes when people die, it's still pretty funny watching them explode... : /

Nice to see that Sung Kang is getting some work outside of the Fast and Furious franchise.  We'll see where he turns up after this.

It appears that this movie is based on a French Graphic novel, so yay, comics win again!

It's directed by Walter Hill who hasn't done many feature films in quite a while, and his heyday was also in the 80s with 48 Hours probably being the best movie of his career.

It's probably nothing groundbreaking that you haven't seen in a million and one other action/buddy cop movies.

It is a nice spin having a hitman and a cop team up, and how they are able to one-up each other, and tear down each other often at the same time.

Not bad...

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably pass on purchasing or watching it again.  I have to choose my action films carefully around here. :)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Watch SyFy... "Sharknado"

My Achilles heel...

I love shark movies.

The Story:

A hurricane is bearing down on Los Angeles, and it's bringing killer sharks onto the land as the whole area is flooding.

Chaos ensues!

First, yes, I realized what I was getting into when I added this to the queue.  It was from SyFy, and I've lamented their output on here many times.  Their efforts are often pedestrian, at best, so why would I go through it?

Sharks.

I'm a sucker for a shark movie. 

Yes, even the bad ones.

And this was spectacularly bad, in a car crash way that I couldn't not watch.

Watch as plot holes and ludicrous dialogue or (or?  More like and...) cheesy special effects race across the screen at breakneck speed.

The movie brings Ian Ziering and Tara Reid to the big small screen as a former couple who have two kids that really need a slap upside the head.

Don't worry though, before the end of the film, those two will find their feelings reconciled after surviving dozens of deadly sharks being rained down into Los Angeles by way of tornados generated by hurricanes.

Forget that hurricanes are Atlantic Ocean storms, and typhoons generate in the Pacific, but apparently that logic was thrown out the door at the beginning.

Creative shark killing abounds as these poor critters are served up as fodder to these survivors.

Trust me, by the end, I was hoping a few people would still get eaten.

Thankfully...there's a sequel in the works.  : /

And tell me if you find it creepy that the girl that likes Fin winds up in love with his son by the end of the movie.

Creepy.

Don't get me started on how she survives...

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No, but I'll probably get suckered into Sharknado 2... I know... I'm ashamed too.

Another Documentary? Sometimes Learning is Entertaining... "Secrets of the Dead: Lost Ships of Rome"

Great Caesar's Ghost!

The Story:

Off the island coast of Ventotene, 5 different shipwrecks have been found.  This is the story of the dives that were attempted to retrieve any of their treasures back to the surface to further investigate the ancient mysteries of Rome.

Like the treasures that get hauled up to the surface, this documentary is a mixed bag.

It's focused on the diving missions, but after awhile, watching people dive deep...deeper... well, it starts to get a bit repetitive and boring.

The finds are of regular items that would have been used by Augustus Caesar (who used this island as a resort and a place to exile his daughter) so we aren't in for riches and treasures.

The finds though are historically interesting and the reconstructions of what the island palace looked like, or how the items were transported to the island. 

Those Romans were pretty clever folks! :)

The reenactments and visual renderings are magnificent though, to give you an idea of what the place really looked like, and how advanced Roman civilization was for its time.

A little more history and  a little less of the crew cavorting around and playing with dead fish would have been nicer.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Worth a viewing, but I doubt I would rush out to buy this.  This one was the most disappointing of the documentaries I've watched recently.  It wasn't awful, just not quite as inspiring as some of the others.

Love at First Bite? "Vamps"

That bites!

The Story:

Two vampires in New York, Goody (Alicia Silverstone) and Stacy (Krysten Ritter) mostly enjoy their night life.  Taking college courses at night and working as exterminators to catch rats and drink their blood.  Yep, they and many other vampires have shunned human blood and concentrate on the vermin of New York as their sustenance.  Ah, but when the Van Helsing family moves to New York, the girls' existence is about to get really complicated...

Following up the latest viewing of Clueless, I wondered whatever happened to Amy Heckerling?

Turns out she wrote and directed this one last year, and brought back Alicia Silverstone (and Wallace Shawn!) in the process.

I'm not sure if she gave up on Hollywood, or vice versa, but there just hasn't been very much Amy Heckerling product in quite some time.

She comes out of the gate in 1982 with Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and then enjoys success again in High School in 1995 with Clueless.

Other than that, her career is filled with long gaps from the Director's chair, and even longer since she's had a box office hit.

Vamps apparently didn't help her much, which is a shame, because it is a cute little movie.

Perhaps that was the problem?    It's nothing special that screamed "I must be a movie" instead of something that could have been made for tv.

Her cast is impressive, with Sigourney Weaver playing the stem vampire that turned both Goody and Stacy.  As it turns out, only stems can turn people into vampires, and if a stem is injured or killed, it will have repercussions on the entire line of vampires that the stem had created.

So you can see where the plot device is coming from.

Either way, it's still a better film than Twilight.

: )

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Mostly harmless fun.  Not Heckerling's best, but it's a  movie that I could watch again with no problem.

The Only Number That Matters in Baseball: "42"

Big changes often come with small steps.

The Story:

This is the story of Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford) and his pursuit of adding a black baseball player named Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman) to the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1945.

How's that for a plot summary?

Simple, yet effective.

But it doesn't even begin to summarize what you'll watch on the screen.

Sure,  it's a lot of history condensed into a 2 1/2 hour movie, but it flies by and doesn't feel like that long of a movie.

The director/writer Brian Helgeland isn't very prolific, but I've enjoyed his output before (Payback and A Knight's Tale)

The performances are great.  Boseman carries the majority of the movie on his back.  Dealing with racism with quiet dignity.  All Robinson wants is a chance to play ball, and eventually even his critics come around.

Harrison Ford plays gruff in his sleep, and he does a fine job as Branch Rickey.

The tale is an interesting one, as it parallels both Rickey's insistence to put Robinson in the game, and Robinson's efforts to succeed.

Thankfully, as history tells us, he will.

It's amazing, that as much as I don't really care for baseball, I sure love baseball movies.

: )

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could see adding this to the baseball wing of the DVD library.  Good stuff.

Zombie Apocalypse Weekend Continues..."Deadheads"

But I don't want to be a zombie!

The Story:

Mike (Michael McKiddy) awakens to discover that he's a zombie.  And yet, he's coherent and remembers that all he wanted was to marry his girlfriend.  He runs into Brent (Ross Kidder) another zombie who is also coherent, and the two embark on a road trip to get Mike back to his sweetheart and see if she's interested in rekindling a romance with a zombie.

I smell road trip!

I'm loving these horror-comedies.  Much like "A Little Bit Zombie", this movie takes a look at a guy who doesn't complete the full zombie-fication process, and still functions as a human.

Mike and Brent become best zombie buds and much hilarity will ensue with their antics as the two try and get back home to see Mike's girl, and see if he still has a shot after all these years of apparently being dead.

It won't be easy though, as the government agents that created the very process that turned our heroes into zombies are trying to stop these two from getting away.

The government agents are hilariously inept in trying to stop the zombies, and being inept in general.


The movie is just a lot of fun from start to finish.

If you haven't gotten on the zombie-coms bandwagon yet, here's a great place to start.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I'd be willing to get this one.  Pretty fun stuff.

It's Zombie Apocalypse Weekend, Part 1: "Detention of the Dead"

Just when you thought High School couldn't get any more terrifying!

The Story:

6 students are serving detention for various offenses when a zombie outbreak hits the school.  Can a nerd, jock, bully, cheerleader, goth chick and stoner possibly hope to survive the onslaught of the undead?

Yes, it's the Breakfast Club with zombies!

The enjoyable, funny/horror films that I have been enjoying recently continue.

While this one doesn't quite match the level of enjoyment I've had with the other films, it's just a notch below.

Some of the jokes are obvious gags, but for the most part the humor is low key and subtle enough.

This is simply a group of high school students that don't want to die versus the zombie horde.

Naturally, that's not going to happen, and one by one, the teens will succumb, but they may learn a life lesson or two before they become mindless zombies!

Of course by then, it's too late!

: )

It's a good film tha just missed the greatness they were reaching for with this film.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I would add this to the horror-comedy wing of my DVD library which could see several new entrants before the year is over.  This horror comedy genre with scary movies is proving to be quite entertaining.

A Different Type of Stand Up Comedy..."Thou Shalt Laugh"

On the 8th Day, God Created the Sense of Humor...

The Story:

Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) hosts a night of stand-up comedy by seven of the funniest comics in all of Christendom.

Proof that at least some Christians are humourous!

First, Patricia Heaton is a nice enough actress, but she's not a stand-up.  Or if she is, she's not very funny.  Sorry, I shouldn't judge, but I'm reviewing here!! : )

As for the line-up, the show hits the ground running:

Thor Ramsey comes out with his musings about life.  And how great is it that there is a Christian named Thor?!  :)

Michael Jr. follows with easily the set of the night.  I was laughing my head off with his wry observations and wordplay.  Cerebral like Steven Wright and George Carlin.  Great stuff.

Jeff Allen finishes off with the first three comics of the night, and really, he's the only one who even remotely works God into his act.

And then, it went off the rails for me.

Teresa Roberts Logan came out next, and I found her completely unfunny.  I think she had the shortest set, but it seemed to drag forever...

Until Joby Saad came out.  Dreadful.  I think I started playing Candy Crush or something during his set.

Gilbert Esquivel came out and started to dig out of the unfunny hole, but it wasn't until Taylor Mason came out with his ventriloquist dummies that the show ended on a high note.  His audience participation was a nice touch on the night.

Uneven, but mostly funny night, and it's good for the whole family.

Not a fan of crowd reaction shots in comedy concerts, I don't care who the comedian is.  I don't need to see people laughing hysterically.

: )

Now available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C  I'll give a B+ for the first 3 comics... then I lost interest with the next three and finally came back when they brought in the ventriloquist.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Won't buy it, but I'd watch the beginning and the end again for a quick laugh.

Wholesome Entertainment? Not With "George Carlin Again!"

It's not TV... it's HBO!

The Story:

George Carlin was arguably one of the finest comedic minds to ever take the stage.  Funny and philosophical, often at the same time, his was a wit that can transcend generations.

His routines rarely seem dated, and they are often just as funny the 802nd time you hear them, as the first time.

The downside?

The guy's got a real potty mouth...

: )

Want to see a time capsule of a performance?  Start with this one.  From 1978, it opens with an old HBO opening... see how far that network has come in 35 years.

Carlin comes out, still brown haired from youth with just patches of the grey that would fill the head and face of one of the best comic minds in the ensuing decades.

To dissect the performance is pointless, you either know what you're getting from Carlin, or you're about to be pleasantly surprised.

He does riff on "Time", follows with his hilarious take on the  news, and he closes out the special with the infamous update on the "7 Words You Can't Say on Television"

Now streaming on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: His routines are always entertaining.  I won't be purchasing it, but I will be periodically checking out his other performances also currently streaming.

A Disaster of Epic Proportions..."Pompeii: Back From the Dead"

Let's see Irwin Allen top that!

Too dated?? :)

The Story:

I think just about anyone who has ever attended any school of any type has at least heard of Pompeii.  The Italian city at the base of a volcano that exploded and rained ash down on the city, killing everyone under a mountain of ash and debris.  Excavations at the site continue to this day, and it appears that they have discovered something rather unusual...

From the Discovery Channel, this informative documentary hosted by Don Wildman will take you to the city of Pompeii and see how amazingly well preserved much of the city was by being buried under a 70 foot wall of ash.

70 feet... let that sink in a moment, because they actually show how high the ash was piled in the film, and it's stunning at how that city truly was buried, and how much they've uncovered and the treasures, both literal and historical, that were kept underneath.

The architecture and advancements the Romans enjoyed are still impressive, 2000 years later.  Considering the devastation of the eruption, it's amazing how much of the city really still is completely intact.

The real historical find in this one, they uncovered a basement where they found 54 skeletons.  As these had been untouched until recently, they did not receive the haunting plaster casting of earlier skeletons, so scientists could study these to learn more about the way of life of people in Pompeii during the day, and they come up with some amazing conclusions.

They also use actors to recreate what they think happened as well to add to the dramatic affair.

Very well done, and a very interesting subject.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix or Amazon Prime as of this writing.

Final Grade: B

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Don't see a need to purchase, and this could come in handy for lessons on history later on for the kids.

90 Minutes of Your Life is Not a Bad Price for "Admission"

What's the secret to getting in?

The Story:

Portia (Tina Fey) is a Princeton admissions officer.  At Princeton, they pride themselves on rejecting 99% of all applications they receive.  As they head into the applications of the upcoming class, she is contacted by John (Paul Rudd) a teacher at a new school about Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), his prodigy who would be perfect for Princeton, but maybe not necessarily the type of candidate that Princeton would otherwise pursue.  Can he convince her otherwise?  Maybe...

So this is one of those movies that was savaged by critics and ignored at the box office.

Beats me, it wasn't that bad.  I'm curious what folks were expecting?

It's hardly a romantic comedy.  Which is probably the undoing of the film.  That's what people probably thought they were going to get with the movie.  Is there a romance in here?  Yes, but it's almost tacked on as an afterthought.

I suppose in the end, you almost need to blame the film's lack of box office on the marketing department.  Looking for a picture of the film, they are all cutesy pics of Rudd and Fey making it indeed look like a romantic comedy.

I think they should have spun the marketing to focus on Princeton's rejection of most candidates, and left it at that.  Then everything else would play out on its own merits.

Instead, the twist from this movie comes fairly early, and Portia spends the rest of the movie dealing with the ramifications of that revelation.

The movie is not laugh out loud funny either.  Starring Fey and Rudd, you would think that impossible, but I'm here to tell you that it's the truth!  Instead of guffaws, the movie spends most of its time in a constant state of amusement.  Some laughs will come, others will just elicit a smile or a chuckle.

That said, there are plenty of worse comedies out there.

Believe me, I've seen many of them.

:)

This one was worth a viewing.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: No purchase, but I'd have no problems seeing it again down the road in the future...

The Man Who Changed the Monday Night Wars..."WWE: For All Mankind: The Life and Career of Mick Foley"

Have a Nice Day!

The Story:

This is the story of Mrs. Foley's baby boy.  The man who grew up to be the wrestling icon known by many names, but forever linked as Mick Foley.

Wrestling fans will love this basic career overview.  Some things sweep under the rug if you've seen other DVDs/read books, but if you're going to have a well-made documentary on Mick, this is the one.

The man took a beating for our entertainment, and for that we applaud him to this day.

A very good retrospective with some wonderful insight from a plethora of wrestling greats throughout Mick's career.

The new documentaries from WWE are really pushing their products to the next level.  Very well made, and including a whole lot of company representation offering insight.

Much less fluff, much more heart behind the product.

It's like they finally realized that we already watch your product, we don't need something special to make us turn in.

We want something memorable to tie the careers of our favorite wrestlers into a well made package.

It's actually a joy to hear Mick recount how and when he SHOULD have retired from the ring... 

The man had as many farewell moments as he had differing ring personas.

This one is right up there with the C.M. Punk offering.

Available to stream instantly as of this writing on Netflix.

As a reminder, that's only the documentary, for the matches, you'll have to buy the disc.

Final Grade: A

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Extremely high!  Naturally. : )  There was only one Mick Foley, and those of us who watched the Monday Night Wars will never forget him.

This One At Least Lives Up To The Cool Title..."Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters"

An alternate title could have been: Hansel & Gretel: Punching Bags!

The Story:

Everyone is familiar with the story of Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and his sister Gretel (Gemma Arteron) about the house of candy and killing the witch.  Well, apparently the dynamic duo got a taste for killing witches, and now they make a living offing those evil ladies.  However, their latest assignment puts them face to face against the most powerful witch (Famke Janssen) they've ever faced.  The two will also learn a little something about their tragic childhood that has remained a secret... until now!

Unlike the Paul Bunyan myth I reviewed yesterday, Hansel and Gretel have a bigger budget, a better cast, and much better special effects.

Don't get me wrong, it's no classic of cinema, but it's a B movie, through and through, and that works.

Really, aside from some chunks of dialogue and swearing just to ensure the movie got an R rating, it wasn't half bad.

So there, at least it's half good, right? :)

As I alluded to with my introduction, Hansel and Gretel spend a great bit of the movie getting beaten, punched and kicked throughout the movie.  Granted, they do their fair share as well, but these two are certainly put through the ringer to earn their stripes.

It's a superhero movie without the capes. ;)

Hansel also has to take a drug every few hours to counteract the witch-candy he had to eat as a kid.  They could have easily done without that part, but I guess they needed something to make Renner even more angsty than usual.

One thing that seems puzzling, is that it seems like the witches would've used more spells than engaging the witch-killing duo straight up in a fistfights, but hey, it's not so bad.  Perhaps they had to save some budget somewhere.

It's silly, harmless fun.  No harm, no foul.

Final Grade: C+/B- range

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Probably not very likely that I would go out of my way to purchase it.  Watching it again in the future.. maybe I'll catch it on cable again one late night when I'm surfing? :)

How Can You Miss With "Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan" ?

With a title like that... it's got to be good!

Not so fast...

The Story:

Sgt. Hoke (Thomas Downey) is a corrections officer for the State of Minnesota.  He is taking some young first-time offenders off the grid to a boot camp and see if he can't get their lives readjusted.  The only problem, apparently the myth of Paul Bunyan was more than just legend, and he still lives in the woods...and he's angry.  When the group stumbles upon the burial grounds of Babe the Blue Ox, let's just say that not everyone is going to be going home in one piece.

From the opening, when a murderer slaughters everyone in a logging camp, including the foreman, Grizzly Adams himself, Dan Haggerty... you can automatically assume what kind of movie you're settling in for.

The dreaded visual effects that mar way too many of these low-budget features, is on cheesy display throughout this film.

Even Bunyan especially comes across as an awful cross between a giant and Shrek.  Or maybe even Sloth from the Goonies.

The characters are really all throwaway cliches, the only one that's remotely interesting is Sgt Hoke, and sadly he's not around long enough in the movie

It's a B movie, all the way, that unfortunately does not live up to the hype of having such a cool title for the film.

It's watchable, but I'm sure you can find a million and one better budget horror schlock-fests out there.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix...

If. You. Dare.

Final Grade: D+...C- if I'm generous.

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: There isn't one. ;)

The Bittersweet Tale of a "Girl in Progress"

What's a girl to do?

The Story:

Grace (Eva Mendes) is a single mother who is raising her daughter, Ansiedad (Cierra Ramirez)... well, barely raising her daughter.  When her daughter decides to write her own coming of age story with her own life, will Grace even notice?  Ansiedad figures that the sooner she become an adult, the sooner she can get away from her mom.

I've debated on this review.  It has its moments, but the movie was very yo-yo like... not sure if it wanted to be a comedy...a drama...

The tone was uneven, but the overall story, especially of Ansiedad (who names their kid Anxiety...I mean really...) is compelling.

Watching her want to get away from her mother, and going to great lengths to create her own coming of age storyline to ensure that she meets all the checkpoints on the road to adulthood is quite fascinating.  It's both cute and heartbreaking to see the pains she goes through to make such dramatic changes in her life, and the only one that is noticing is her teacher (Patricia Arquette).  Cierra Ramirez easily owns this movie, and when she's onscreen, the pace picks up tremendously and is involving and a complex story unfolds.

Grace's story is more convoluted than it should be, and she really isn't that great of a mom, even when she tries to be.  Having an affair with a Doctor (Matthew Modine) who has every intention of leaving his wife, until she comes home...well you can figure out what's going to happen long before Grace will.  Men are Grace's Achilles' heel, and it drives her daughter crazy.  Naturally Grace cannot figure out why her daughter is acting so irrationally, but perhaps if she took a moment to just look in the mirror, she'd understand.

Come for the daughter's story, and see how not to raise a child.

Available for streaming now on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: B-  Like I said, I debated.  It was good, and had flashes of brilliance...and then would stray...

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Wouldn't buy it. Could watch it again on a slow night.

Thursday's Thirst For Knowledge..."Nova: My Life as a Turkey"

The heartbreak of motherhood...

The Story:

Joe Hutto is a naturalist in Florida.  His goal was to imprint on 16 young wild turkey eggs so that when they hatched, they considered him their mom. 
What follows is a year of heartwarming and heartbreak as he guides these babies from egg to adulthood, but not without casualties along the way.

Imprinting is nothing new.  People have done it for years with various animals.  Hutto takes a year (actually more) of his life and spends nearly every waking moment with his babies in this charming documentary.

Keep in mind, these are wild turkeys, as opposed to the domesticated Thanksgiving table-fillers you're used to seeing.

He learns their sounds, and does his best to communicate with the birds, and he learns that these birds are really rather smart.

They know their snakes, and which ones are dangerous and which ones are not.  Joe begins to see the swamps and life in general through their eyes and it opens up a world that nobody could even imagine with how these turkeys communicated with one another.

Dozens of different clucks and calls are used by these birds to talk to Joe and each other, and he does a good job of mimicking them as best as he can.

It's a fascinating story of these turkeys and how they follow him without question, and then one day, almost literally,  as if on cue, they all grow up and are ready to live their own life, 'away from mom'.

Sad, especially how he has to part ways with 2 of his favorites.

Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could watch it again, it is pretty amazing stuff, but a little sad in a few spots.  Such is life, right?

There Is Little "Doubt" That Today's Movie Might Polarize Some Viewers

Heaven help us...

The Story:

The 60s.  Kennedy is dead.  And Catholic Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) apparently has a penchant for boys.  Or at least one boy in particular.  At the school, Sister James (Amy Adams) brings up the peculiar situation to the principal, Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep). She immediately begins to dig to crucify (zing!) Father Flynn, but Sister James has doubts...

Well, if you're going to have a drama, you can do much worse than casting Hoffman or Streep in your film.  You know you're going to get a class act from both.

The problem is, as great as they are, if the material is wanting, then the film falls apart.  Even a great actor can't save a turkey.

Thankfully, this movie is engaging enough to keep you interested, if not riveted, to what is happening.

The scary part, Sister Aloysius seemingly knows from the start that Father Flynn is up to something.  She throws a casual remark out there that Sister James picks up and runs with.  Naturally, when things start happening that seemingly prove the rumors to be true... what do you do?

The staredowns between Streep and Hoffman are the best parts of the movie, as a man accused of...nothing...yet something...this was downright scandalous...in the 60s.  Plus you have a nun taking on a priest in the church...I don't even think that happens today.

Today, when isn't the Catholic Church in the news for something?

The ending is a bit... odd.  And I don't mean how they resolve the dispute, that was actually quite clever in how it was handled.

No, Streep's meltdown at the end was strange, and out of place.

While never admitting any wrong-doing, perhaps all the Father really was doing was comforting a confused boy.  Nothing more nefarious than that.

That could explain her scene, but otherwise, the film ran about a minute too long.

;)

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Once was enough, as with most dramas.

Not The Best Title, But "Dead Man Down" Isn't Half Bad...

Whooooo are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?

The Story:

Victor (Colin Farrell) is a thug working for a local crime  boss, Alphonse (Terrence Howard).  Well, it seems someone is threatening Alphonse and is slowly, systematically killing off Alphonse's people and the noose is tightening.  Meanwhile, a neighbor (Noomi Rapace) has seen first-hand what Victor can do, and she wants him to eliminate a man who caused her to become disfigured, or she'll go to the cops.  This puts Victor and all of his plans in jeopardy.

What will Victor do?

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

And WWE Studios is cranking out some really decent low-budget fare lately.  They are at it again with a nice little action thriller with their biggest star to date (Colin Farrell) before they made The Call with Halle.

Plus, they actually used a wrestler this time out, Wade Barrett, and he does just fine in his teensy weensy role.

Honestly?  It works, more than it doesn't.  Some of the parts drag, but that's what 1.5x on the PS3 allows you to zip through that and get back to the good stuff.

:)

The scenes with Farrell and Howard are dynamic and exciting. 

As for Noomi... zzzz... she's actually the least interesting part of the film. 

It's funny, the movie is really set up rather intricately compared to what you may (or may not ) have seen in the trailer, which seems that she is asking Victor to kill Alphonse for disfiguring her.  Couldn't be farther from the truth, but that the clips could be spliced that way was really clever.

No, it turns out that Victor has much deeper reasoning for wanting to bring down Alphonse, and goes through very elaborate measures to do so...

Only to have the girl muck it up at the end.

Thankfully, they salvaged it, and it didn't end up like the last Farrell movie (London Boulevard) that was interesting all the way up until the end, and then it derailed.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could, but I doubt I will. ; )

Need A Holiday From Lame Sequels? Then You Might Want to Skip "Lake Placid: The Final Chapter"

Hands up everyone that believes this is truly the Final Chapter?

The Story:

The sequel that nobody demanded, from the franchise that never should have been a franchise, continues with killer crocs of ginormous size running amok and eating people.  This time, all of the crocs are killed, and the local area is saved.

Right.

The more sequels to this franchise that comes out, the more the original Lake Placid looks like the Citizen Kane of giant crocodiles that eat people movies.

:)

That said, if you're going to watch any of the sequels, this is one of the better ones to endure.  Way better than the 2nd, not quite the cheese factor of Hasselhoff in the 3rd, but this one is tolerable enough. 

Robert Englund makes a glorified cameo as an evil poacher, but even he can't raise this one into pure camp or awesomeness.  It simply exists to cash in on whatever goodwill the fans have for this franchise.

The stilted movement of the fake CGI crocodile is mostly dreadful.  I'm not sure if it's low budget films that can't get movement down, but it's just sad.

Hopefully the studio will take their own advice, and let the franchise truly end.

If they stick with the Friday the 13th style of naming their sequels, then we know we are in for at least 5 more... : /

Final Grade: C- --- I'm trying to be nice guys...

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, makes me long to see the original though. :)

Another Romantic Comedy That Comes Off Without a "Hitch"

Love hurts.

The Story:

Hitch (Will Smith) is a "date doctor".  What's that  you ask?  He gives guys advice on how to present themselves to the ladies to woo them.  It's honest, it's sincere, and it works.  It gets the guy to calm down and provides them a chance they might otherwise screw up on their own.  His latest client, Albert (Kevin James) an accountant who is smitten by the lovely Allegra (Amber Valletta), a socialite who likely would never give him the light of day.  Meanwhile, Sara (Eva Mendes) a gossip columnist begins an investigation into the urban legend of the Date Doctor.  Things are about to get ugly.

Back to back Andy Tennant movies?!  Looking over his feature films, I think I've seen almost all of them, and I like all that I've seen, and own almost all of them.  Talk about under the radar!

This is a fun romantic comedy, thanks in no small part to the entire cast who are easily believable in their parts, and play to their strengths.

Hitch is Will Smith, or at least he seems to basically be playing himself.  The same charisma and assurance that made him a star on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air oozes off the screen in this outing as the self-assured consultant who wants to make sure nobody ever gets hurt the way he was.

Sadly, this was the last "fun" Will Smith movie he has done over the last decade.  Minus anything that was a sequel, it was also his last good movie to boot.

Kevin James makes the perfect project for him.  His first feature as a co-star, he easily holds his own in every scene with Smith, and carries the film in his segments without him.  He is instantly charming, just simply nervous. 


Since that time, he's gone on to make many movies which meet with mixed critical and box office reviews, but keep finding a happy home with us.  Two stars going in different directions on their movie career path.  Hopefully James continues on his path, and Will Smith can regain that spark that's been disappearing over the last decade.

There's a few messages underlying this otherwise breezy comedy.  They don't hit you over the head with them, but they raise good points.

Would a supermodel ever notice, let alone fall for a chubby nerd, without him doing something that demanded attention?

Shouldn't reporters, even gossip columnists, put forth a  little more journalistic endeavors into their work?

I'm just saying...

Either way, love the film and enjoy it every time I see it.

Final Grade: A-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Own it. Watch it. Love it. : )