Try To Avoid The "Holidays"

Holidays (2016)

Rated R

Starring A Whole Lot Of Actors

Directed by A Whole Lot of Directors

The Stories:

In about 15 minutes, you will get a scary tale centering on most of the holidays that make up a year.


I honestly don't know how to possibly review this one.

It's several 15 minute segments, some with more inspired dread than others, and then they all end.

BANG!

Usually with a jump scare at the end as if that were the payoff.

The problem....

Most of the films aren't that scary.

Or, if they are, the ending seemingly undoes any tension or goodwill that the movie might have earned along the way.

Plus, in 15 minutes, it's hard to care for any character so that when they get theirs at the end, or get away with murder or what have you, you have a general feeling of...

Meh.

Next holiday!

None of them are terrible to watch, and if you think of it as just watching a 15 minute short film, it goes by and then it goes by, and by, and by...

Then it's over and you've survived.

Uninspiring and flat spring to mind when I try and remember each of the segments.

Congratulations, you're the first film eligible for 2017 Turkey of the Year!

:)

Streaming on Netflix as of  this writing.

Final Grade: D+ 

The World Just Got A Little Less Scary... R.I.P. West Craven 1939-2015

Well, that's just depressing.

The man that helped put the scary, back into scary movies passed away today.

But Wes Craven leaves behind a legacy that is both impressive by the impact he was able to muster in just under 30 films.

It seems like he had worked on a lot more, but Craven put his all into everything he did, usually writing, directing and producing each feature.

Depending on when you started watching scary films will likely center on where you first were introduced to Craven's work.

The 1970s, he began with The Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes.

I always saw those video boxes, but never saw the movies. I still don't think I've ever seen them, but they were some cool titles for movies.

Nope, I ran into Craven's work in 1984 when he unleashed arguably his greatest creation into pop culture: Freddy Krueger.

Now, I doubt Craven (or anyone for that matter) expected Freddy to take on the status that he would, but A Nightmare on Elm Street was scary as all get out when it was released, and it still holds up today. It also cemented Robert Englund as a horror movie icon for the ages.

My only complaint was the cheesy special effects shot at the end of the film, but that doesn't mar an otherwise exceptionally scary and slick horror film. Craven mastered the technique of suckering the audience in, and then we realized that the character was dreaming, or they were dreaming they were dreaming. With Craven and Freddy, we couldn't be sure!

He closed out the 80s with a movie that I saw once, and absolutely refused to ever watch again because of how creepy it was: The Serpent and the Rainbow.

:: shudder ::

Then the 90s came, and horror films were dying out, when Craven reinvigorated the genre by playing with all the conventions and tropes of the horror film, and turning them slightly askew with the movie Scream. Much like Freddy before him, now Craven had a new pop culture character with Ghost Face, and a franchise was born.

So successful was the Scream franchise, the Wayans brothers created a franchise of their own with Scary Movie which parodied the Scream (and all other horror films).

But even Wes Craven was able to prove that he wasn't a one trick pony. He directed Music of the Heart which earned Meryl Streep one of her 8 million Academy Award nominations.

Not a bad legacy to leave behind.

RIP Wes Craven.

Thanks for all the nightmares and goosebumps!

Sunday's Screamer...I Mean Streamer..."A Haunted House"

Some weird things are going on in this house!

And there's a ghost, too!

The Story:

Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) has his girlfriend Kisha (Essence Atkins) move into his house with him.  Malcolm didn't ask for the demon to come along with her.

Ah yes, a parody of the "found footage" horror movies that are box office hits.

And, they do some of the same stunts, which actually generate some suspense and chills, but they are buried deep and wide amongst the throw it at the wall and see if it sticks comedy.

Now, for those that have seen the Scary Movie franchise, you probably know exactly what kind of comedy you're going to get.

When Marlon Wayans is your most grounded character in the film, you know there's going to be issues. :)

You've got Nick Swardson playing Chip the gay psychic who is infatuated with Malcolm, and is more concerned with getting with Malcolm than getting rid of the demon.

Then you have Cedric the Entertainer at the end of the film as the exorcist.  Small part, but he has a good time with it.

Whether or not they are successful ridding the house of the demon...

Well, I just saw that a sequel is in the works, so that should give you a clue.

Available to stream instantly as of this writing on Netflix.

Final Grade: C

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Nope, I'm good on this one.  There were some amusing gags in the film, but not enough to warrant subsequent viewings.  Yes, I will likely watch the sequel though.  :)