Diluting The Brand..."Kingsman: The Golden Circle"

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

Rated R

Starring Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Colin Firth, Hanna Alstrom, Edward Holcroft, Julianne Moore, Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, Pedro Pascal, Jeff Bridges, Elton John

Directed by Matthew Vaughn

The Story:

With the Kingsman organization in chaos, Eggsy (Egerton) and Merlin (Strong) head to the States and meet up with another unknown secret service organization: The Statesman. Together, they must foil the plot of the nefarious drug lord, Poppy (Moore) before much of the world population is killed by her poisoned merchandise.

In 2015, Kingsman: The Secret Service took the movie world by surprise, and was a critical and box office smash. I enjoyed it so much, it wound up as my 2nd favorite film of 2015, surpassed only by Ant-Man as favorite film of the year.

As 2017 draws to a close, the eagerly awaited sequel, Kingsman: The Golden Circle is here.

However, as with most sequels, they rarely measure up to the original.

And in 2017, Kingsman is going to have to work really hard just to make the list, let alone come in 2nd place.

The fights, the soundtrack, they've already been done, so Kingsman basically had its own reputation to fight against.

It could be argued, that like Guardians of the Galaxy, the 2nd installment is a virtual retread of the original, just dialed up to 11.

However, unlike that one, which has an emotional arc at the end, this one just seemed to be dialed up to 11 and given an even longer running time with which to wreak havoc.

Cue extra scene time for Elton John and just a lot of extras that put this one so far over-the-top, it makes the first film seem like traditional spyfare at this point.

Sadly, the trailers ruin the fact that they brought back Harry (Firth) but it's a fine return to the fold.

Also amusing was the relationship between Eggsy and Princess Tilde (Alstrom) that could have easily been the throwaway gag of the first film but actually centers and provides much of the emotional distress for the 2nd.

All that said, there is an even more emotionally devastating moment in this film than in the first, and I was none too pleased with the decision.

I won't begrudge the studio a 3rd installment, but it just isn't going to be the same after this.

Final Grade: B-

Not The Best Title, But "Dead Man Down" Isn't Half Bad...

Whooooo are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?

The Story:

Victor (Colin Farrell) is a thug working for a local crime  boss, Alphonse (Terrence Howard).  Well, it seems someone is threatening Alphonse and is slowly, systematically killing off Alphonse's people and the noose is tightening.  Meanwhile, a neighbor (Noomi Rapace) has seen first-hand what Victor can do, and she wants him to eliminate a man who caused her to become disfigured, or she'll go to the cops.  This puts Victor and all of his plans in jeopardy.

What will Victor do?

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

And WWE Studios is cranking out some really decent low-budget fare lately.  They are at it again with a nice little action thriller with their biggest star to date (Colin Farrell) before they made The Call with Halle.

Plus, they actually used a wrestler this time out, Wade Barrett, and he does just fine in his teensy weensy role.

Honestly?  It works, more than it doesn't.  Some of the parts drag, but that's what 1.5x on the PS3 allows you to zip through that and get back to the good stuff.

:)

The scenes with Farrell and Howard are dynamic and exciting. 

As for Noomi... zzzz... she's actually the least interesting part of the film. 

It's funny, the movie is really set up rather intricately compared to what you may (or may not ) have seen in the trailer, which seems that she is asking Victor to kill Alphonse for disfiguring her.  Couldn't be farther from the truth, but that the clips could be spliced that way was really clever.

No, it turns out that Victor has much deeper reasoning for wanting to bring down Alphonse, and goes through very elaborate measures to do so...

Only to have the girl muck it up at the end.

Thankfully, they salvaged it, and it didn't end up like the last Farrell movie (London Boulevard) that was interesting all the way up until the end, and then it derailed.

Final Grade: C+

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I could, but I doubt I will. ; )

Is "Movie 43" the Worst Movie of the Year? Not So Fast...

Get ready for the worst movie of all time...

No.

Not really.

The Story:

Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) is pitching a movie idea to studio exec Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear).  Each story pushes the envelope of sense and good taste.

What in the name of Kentucky Fried Movie is going on here?

First, this movie isn't that bad as people make it sound.  It's not the worst movie ever made.  It's not the unfunniest comedy ever filmed.

This movie won't even make my final list of Turkeys of the Year.

Strange, but true.

Is this movie a laugh riot from start to finish?  Nope, not even close.

What you have instead are a bunch of short skits or commercial parodies stretched over 90 minutes.  Yes, an episode of Saturday Night Live without censors.

Some jokes are hysterical, many fall flat.  The actors and actresses give a straightforward performance, ignoring the silliness of their particular scene and playing it as if they were in a drama.  That naturally makes the movie all the more absurd.

I did vow to watch the entire movie, ignoring my own 20 minute rule, just to see if there were any redeeming skits within the movie.  From start to finish, not really any that you must see, the best overall skit was probably the end of the movie with Terence Howard as the basketball coach, and you already know how that plays out if you saw the trailer. 

Honorable mention goes to the waterproof tampon commercial.  Genius.

The worst skit to make the film starts after the credits begin rolling, and is directed and stars Elizabeth Banks.  They would have been wiser to leave that out completely.

Final Grade: C-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Thanks, but no thanks.  Again, not a great movie, but not the stinker people make it out to be. 

"Cloud Atlas" Several Hundred Years Crammed Into 3 Hours

Well, that was something.

The Story:

Six different stories.  All linked together through time and space.  From a slave ship in the 1800s to a far flung dystopian future, this film has it all.  Not that thrilled with the current story, wait a few minutes, and it will all change.  To explain this movie's plots much further will either confuse you further, or give away everything...or nothing.

I'm still not sure.

:)

Make no mistake about it, this movie is long.  It's about 3 hours long.

That said, unlike 90 minute movies that feel 3 hours long, this movie doesn't drag too terribly much, and so the 3 hours doesn't feel too laborious.

The cast, some more recognizable than others under makeup do a tremendous job of changing personalities, genders and race as the stories weave in and out of each other.

Among those are Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Hugh Grant and Susan Sarandon.

My favorite tale of the group would be the one set in the "present", 2012.  Next, 1973 and then 1849.  Finally, the 1930 tale rounded out my more favorite moments from the film.

My least favorite tales were the two future stories, but your mileage may vary.

The movie was highly ambitious and overachieving, but definitely something.  They aimed for the stars, and came up somewhat short, but I give them much credit for trying.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: Doubtful, but that's due more to the length and tone than anything.

Don't Hang Up...You Need to Answer "The Call"

Don't hang up...

The Story:

Jordan Turner (Halle Berry) is a 9-1-1 operator.  One night she takes a frantic call from a girl who thinks someone is in her house.  The call gets disconnected, so Jordan calls back.  Sadly, the killer (Michael Eklund) hears the phone ring, finds the girl, and tells Jordan that it's too late for the cops to do anything, and kills the girl.  Obviously shaken, Jordan cannot dispatch any longer.  She now trains the new operators, and happens to be conducting training when another call from another girl, Casey, (Abigail Breslin) comes in.  The operator doesn't know what to do, and Jordan takes over.  She tries to calm her, but when she discovers that it is the same guy from the other call, Jordan cannot rest until she finds Casey.

This wasn't that bad of a movie.

Again, WWE Studios plays it smart by hiring real actors including Morris Chestnut and Micahel Imperioli to round out the cast, while slipping in a wrestler, David Otunga, who doesn't embarrass himself onscreen. 

I use the word "wrestler" loosely in Otunga's case.

:)

In fact, the movie crackles along fairly well for the first 2/3rds of the movie.  It's rather tense pacing and believable enough that you care for both women on each end of the phone.

After watching the movie, I think I have come to the conclusion that 911 operators probably do have one of the worst jobs in the world!  Talk about hectic and stressful.

The wheels slightly come off at the very end when this operator goes out to find the bad guy and confront him...alone!

Come on, really?

Fair enough, I see what they are going for, and the end is actually rather amusing because of what and how they did it.

But for that moment when Jordan takes to the streets, the movie suddenly grabs all the silly clichés and puts them on display.

Otherwise though, not too bad.

Final Grade: B-

Rewatchability/Purchase Factor: I don't think I would mind watching it again someday, but I'm in no hurry to add it to the collection.

The Bane of My Existence..."The Dark Knight Rises"

The trilogy concludes...

The Story:

8 years have passed since Batman went into seclusion.  The streets of Gotham are safe, thanks to the Dent Act.  But when trouble rolls into town in the form of sadistic mercenary Bane, all bets are off, and Bruce Wayne decides to dust off the cowl and go back into action as...

Batman!

Has it been 8 years?

I honestly don't know.

In fact, aside from knowing that I saw the 2nd film, I really don't remember much about it.

Perhaps I was still too depressed that Heath Ledger killed himself, but I really don't remember much about that film.  Other than everyone loving it.

I'm not even sure if I own it, I'll have to check my DVD case.

But anyway, back to the film...

So the cast grows with the arrival of Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) and a cop (Joseph Gordon-Levitt...again...) who both figure strongly in Batman (Christian Bale) and Commissioner Gordon's (Gary Oldman) fight to save Gotham from Bane (Tom Hardy, unrecognizable under the mask).

And much like props to Karl Urban for his willingness to be masked the whole film for Dredd, kudos to Hardy for taking a role that hides his face and muffles his voice for 98% of his entire screen time.


I was pleased with the Catwoman performance this go-round.  Never saw Pfeiffer's version, but this is a huge leap in the right direction after Berry's debacle from years back.


In fact, as an action film, this was actually a pretty good movie.

That said...

By this point in time, with the arrival of The Avengers, and Marvel stepping up their movie business with hit after hit, my kids had absolutely no desire to even watch this one.

So DC, you better step up your game if you have any chance of putting butts in the seats, at least with my family.


: )

I see how they set up for the eventual sequel/franchise reboot or whatever...


Meh.  I can handle another Bruce Wayne actor... not thrilled with what they have seemingly decided on though.


Final Grade: B

Would I Own It: I'll probably pick up a copy eventually on the cheap, but no big hurry. 

Marvel > DC.

: )

A Shark Movie with No Bite... "Dark Tide"

Just when you thought it was safe to stream on Netflix...

The Story:

Kate (Halle Berry) is a "shark whisperer". Her method is to free swim outside of the cage to study shark behavior.  Unfortunately, an accident claims the life of one of her friends, and her life is never the same.  A year passes and a mysterious stranger shows up, offering a lot of money to get Kate back in the ocean and allow him to swim with the fishes.

Be careful what you wish for...


This is an interesting dilemma for me to have with a shark movie.


First, it's not a budget, cheesy poorly conceived shark attack movie from the SyFy Channel.  There's actually some budget involved, the acting is decent and the underwater filming of the sharks in most instances is downright beautiful.

It was more of a drama than anything, and the shark attack sequences are almost added in as an afterthought.  In fact there is one sequence which could have been removed altogether from the film to make it shorter, which at nearly 2 hours was in definite need of some trimming.

The shark attack(s) are infrequent.  Not terrible CGI shark attacks either, which is nice. 

Mostly the nice, cloudy red shark attacks where it's all implied, and nothing shown.

Tensions on the boat in the last act provide a lot of the dramatic tension, and then the movie sort of spins out of control as you have the character who has played it safe and by the rules the entire film making stupid decision after stupid decision, and the finale just makes the whole thing fall apart as you go "really, that's how it's going to end?"

In the end, again, it wasn't an unwatchable shark-fest of epic-ly bad proportions. 

Instead it was a dramatic turn of events on the high seas that includes sharks to amp up the drama.

Not terrible, but I can't heartily recommend it.


Available to stream instantly on Netflix as of this writing.

Final Grade: C

Would I Own It: Nah.